Reading Reviews for Behind Enemy Lines
12 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Courtney The Merlinforsaken Dive

31st August 2013:
I am really loving your story and think the idea of being able to observe someone without them knowing is really interesting. While Jessica has a point that it would be powerful to see all sides of someone and realize that everyone can be good, bad, vulnerable, etc., I think that some people may actually be worse in private as they don't have to try to get approval or abide by society's norms as much. I guess I''m thinking of how some people act a certain way in public, but then are abusive or terrible with their family or employees, etc. But I guess the point is that no matter how bad someone is we probably all have moments that may us look better. And I guess we are going off the premise that James is actually a good person, though his words to Sirius in the last chapter definitely didn't make him seem less cocky or disrespectful to women, though it's probably because he's still putting up his persona. Also, I am a little confused about James' other relationships. From the things he said, it sounds like he's been with lots of girls, but then Jess was acting like he would never hookup with someone else because he liked Lily too much. So I'm interested to see more of him with other girls and hope he isn't too into using girls or treating them badly. I think it will be very interesting to see what you have Lily observe James doing when no one else is around. And I hope it doesn't get too private as that wouldn't be fair to James and would rightfully make him extremely upset and feel betrayed if he finds out about it. Anyway, I am very excited to see how things develop. Thanks for sharing.

Author's Response: Thank you! You know, I actually thought about all that stuff too, when I re-read the chapter before reading the reviews and I'm really glad that someone else had considered the plot enough to think of the same things. Thank you so much for reading and for taking the time to leave such a thought-out review, it makes my day to read things like this! :)

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Review #2, by Elle The Merlinforsaken Dive

11th March 2013:
I LOVE YOUR STORY! I've read lots of Jily fanfics but never one with this plot :) please update soon?! x

Author's Response: Thank you so much!! Sorry it's taken me literally two years, but I am re-editing and updating now :)

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Review #3, by Hannah The Merlinforsaken Dive

27th February 2013:

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Review #4, by Kristina1990 The Merlinforsaken Dive

27th February 2013:
Great writing! I'm really enjoying this story so far. The take on James and Lily certainly is different and quite original. It's kind of scary, though, seeing what magic is capable of!

Author's Response: Thank you!! I'm really glad you think it's original :)

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Review #5, by jillybeans Plans Into Action

26th February 2013:
i love the idea of the enchanted journal and the whole "you can fall in love with them if you strip off their public image" thing! this is definitely not cliched and its different from the (millions of) jily stories i've read so far! i can't wait to see how this plays out! great job!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad you don't think it's cliche, because I was a little worried that the whole "see the /real/ James" thing was. Thank you!!

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Review #6, by La la la The Merlinforsaken Dive

15th January 2013:
This was the bestest idea for a fan-fiction eva!!!

Author's Response: Thank you!!

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Review #7, by Shay_Gryff The Merlinforsaken Dive

18th December 2012:
Hello! Great story-line. You have a great plunny hopping around and I can't wait to see where this goes (plus I'm a sucker for Jily)

AND CONGRATULATIONS!! You are the first place winner of the challenge!

Author's Response: Thank you so much!!

That's so exciting!

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Review #8, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing Plans Into Action

9th November 2012:
Wow this is a really good chapter... you have me hooked!! James/Lily is without a doubt my fav pairing to read and you have done such a good job with all the characters so far.

Please write more soon! I really want to know what you're going to show Lily!!

Author's Response: Aw thank you so much!

I will!! Thanks!

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Review #9, by We Are Padfoot and Prongs Plans Into Action

2nd November 2012:
"can't afford to lose this journal," huh? Can someone say FORESHADOWING? :D This is actually quite an intriguing story. I enjoy reading more of it later. Ta!

Author's Response: Yay!! Gold star for you!! I was wondering if anyone would pick up on that ;)

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Review #10, by ginnypotter242 Plans Into Action

22nd October 2012:
Hello there :)

This sounds so interesting so far! James/Lily is one of my favorite pairings, so I love stories about them. It seems you have a unique idea on how they fell in love too. I can't wait to read more!

Kudos on the book idea. Is it a bit like Tom Riddle's diary? I like the idea... and Remus came up with it of course. (Yay Remus!)

I really have to give you props on Peter. Most people seem to write him out, or have him as an ignorant puppy following the marauders in fanfiction. I'm glad you didn't do that! As much as I don't like Peter (I'm afraid I was guilty of doing that at first), he was a character for a reason! Thank you!

This story seems very interesting so far, and I'll definitely continue reading. Can't wait for the next chapter!


Author's Response: Hi!

Thank you so much! I'm glad to see that you like it so far! I tried to think of something sort of different from the usual cliche Lily/James, and to be honest, I was watching Chamber of Secrets when the book idea came to me!

I know exactly what you mean about Peter! I've read so many fics where he's pretty much a shadow. Like, some awkward kid who just follows the others around. But if the Marauders were as smart and creative and popular as everyone seems to think, surely they wouldn't have hung around with him for nothing!

Thank you so much! The next chapter will be up soon!!

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Review #11, by Rose Wilts Plans Into Action

16th October 2012:
Hey there! It's only me!

This is such a great first chapter - it definitely reads much smoother now that you've fixed those tense issues. It's funny and engaging and heads straight into the action, which is always a good thing. I don't know if I've mentioned this to you, but I think you've already have some really well characterised people in this chapter - so you don't need to be worried about that. Keep going in this direction and everything will be fantastic! Everyone seems really canon, but also entertaining and interesting. So well done!

That's about all I have to say for this chapter, but great stuff! Really well done :) x

Author's Response: Hi!!

First of all, thank you for beta'ing for me!

This is really great feedback, thank you so much! It's so good to read that :D

Thank you :) x

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Review #12, by WaterLily Plans Into Action

5th October 2012:
This is a great idea! It's refreshing to see new ways Lily and James fell in love, and this one is definitely both original and believable. Your writing style is amazing as well - the words flow and have a touch of humor that actually makes me smile while reading it. Also, your characterization is absolutely perfect. Please update soon, I can't wait for the next chapter!

~WaterLily :)

Author's Response: Wow, wow, wow,. Thank you so much! This made me so happy to read this because characterization, plot, flow ect. were my main concerns about this story!
Thank you!!

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