This was a well thought out piece. I love writing and reading missing moments and stories about other main characters besides the golden trio. Everyone who bore witness to the atrocities that occurred at Hogwarts has a story to tell. Their own side of the events that rarely get seen/read. I'm glad you wrote this. Neville/Hannah is becoming one of my favorite ships to read. I didn't see any miss-spelled words or grammatical errors. I also thought it flowed well from beginning to end. Great job, Ash!!
~Celtic~Author's Response: Hey Celtic! Thanks so much for the feedback! I really appreciate you dropping by my story!
It was really important to me to tell Neville's story and the whole PTSD thing that was probably tied to it. Thank you very much! Report Review
Hey there! :)
Man, I gotta tell you, I really loved this story. You never really see too many stories about what the characters went through directly after the war and you did a really good job with it.
Your characterization of Neville was really good and I'm really glad (I sound horrible for saying this) that you gave him some depression/anxiety. It made him a really relate able character and made it very believable.
I've always sort of have mixed feelings about Snape being considered as big of a hero as everyone thinks he is so I'm glad this story touched on it. I know he had to act like a Death Eater in order to protect Harry and the rest of the Wizarding world but he didn't have to be soo harsh to everyone, especially Neville while he was doing it. I'm sure if Neville got to see the memories that Harry saw he might feel a bit differently but you can't exactly make the feelings of being bullied and harassed for years go away that easily.
I really liked the part after he read the paper and was trying to talk himself up about being seen as a hero to kids in the future. It's really good that he acknowledges all he has done and is honorable to himself to call himself a hero. I hate when people are too modest about the good things they have done!
Ahhh, I'm so happy you added Hannah in this story! Neville and Hannah are one of my favorite pairings and it's just so sweet how they are able to lean on each other to get through and move forward with everything :) It was funny when Neville tried to lie to Hannah and say the memorial was "nice" and for her to go and get mad at him for saying that. They both went through so much together and I'm glad they're able to bond over it.
This was so, so good and I'm really glad I stopped by and read this :) thanks for the great read!
-AmandaAuthor's Response: Hello there!!
Why I am so thrilled that you stopped by to review my story!
I think it is important to portray mental illness in a truthful way, and I have had this discussion a few times, but a lot of people just write the trio and supportive characters as totally ok after the war, and I just don't think that would be the case. I think there could be a fair amount of PTSD or something like that where they would struggle psychologically for a while.
I thought this story would be hard for me to write since I am such a huge Snape fan, but it really wasn't because he really was awful to Neville and there's no reason why Neville should ever be expected to consider him a hero.
Hannah has really become one of my favorite parts of the story and it was really nice to kind of give this a happy ending of sorts. Or, well a hopeful ending anyway!
Thank you so much for your review!! Report Review
Clearly I've decided to keep playing on your AP.
This is something I've wondered about so, so many times. Yes, snape did a very heroic thing. His part in all of it is what allowed everything to work in accordance to Dumbledore's crazy plan. But so many students suffered under Severus. Of course he couldn't go rescue all of them and risk the Dark Lord getting suspicious, but I think even knowing that wouldn't be enough to ever forgive or forget being tortured. Sometimes I wonder who had it worse during that seventh year, Harry and the group or the children who even remotely opposed the new Hogwarts system or had a tiny trace of muggle in them. And gah. You've just got all these sad Neville feels running around me.
I love that Hannah was the one to say what Neville was thinking. I don't really have any sort of head canon for her, so it was really fun just getting to enjoy the person you created in this. And the feeling that these two are giving one another something they both desperately need. Hope.. a distraction... a reason to want to smile again.
I'm backing up because I forgot things I wanted to say! Well, back tracking. I guess I'm not actually backing up.
I was wondering while Neville was going to the Coffee shop what exactly this would do to him.. Harry's speech about Severus. It's hard for me to even understand how completely Harry forgave him. And okay, you're about to probably disagree with me on this point because you have Miss Ashely Severus Snape with little hearts written around it in a notebook somewhere (hehehe).. but Severus, as courageous as he was, still did a lot of terrible things. He treated Harry so poorly, and Neville even worse simply because if Neville would have been better, if the Dark Lord would have targeted Neville and the Longbottoms instead of the Potters, his Lily may still be alive. And he was just so harmful to the psyche of these children that, even ending as such a huge hero, it's hard to imagine everyone just forgiving him. So it made me happy to see Neville and Hannah both clearly not agreeing with Harry's words.
At the same time, they'd probably have all been murdered during the welcome back feast if Severus wasn't there. But ugh. This story has all these thoughts and feels going on inside me, and I think that's the best sign of an amazingly done story ♥
You are a really, really wonderful writer ♥Author's Response: Ahh how do I approach responding to this! :P Ok, so I really actually enjoyed writing this. I really had not thought of what Neville would think after the war, what horrible things probably happened to him in the school, until I wrote this story. And the thing is, I also realize that a lot of people have issues with Snape. I know that a lot of people think that his obsession with Lily was sick and dangerous, and that the way he dealt with things wasn't right. That he had issues and that he allowed people to die before him, allowed everything to deteriorate right in front of him without so much as seeming to care. But the thing that I love about him is that I think somewhere deep inside of him, he did care. I think it was painful for him to watch the school that, in my mind, took him away from his parents and home life, that had sheltered him and given him a job and provided for him for so long...I think it was awful for him to have to go through having the school taken over. And I agree with you on his thoughts on Neville. It could have been him, and Snape might wish, every single time that he sees him, that maybe just a piece of him wishes that Neville was dead.
But Neville is such a strong character, he's so fierce in his resolve, that even though he has this fear of Snape, he still stands up for what he believes in.
I don't know how quick Harry would be to forgive Severus but I mean he named a kid after him. You kind of have to have a high regard for a person to name your kid after them so I guess to me it felt important for him to get the truth out there right away. And I don't think Neville would ever truly be ok with Snape and what he had allowed to happen, you know? For me it was important to show that, despite all the hardship Harry had to endure being the chosen one, that the students had an equally if not more difficult time.
Wow that was a lot of rambling. I hope it was coherent. Thank you so so much for reviewing my story I appreciate it so very much :) Report Review
First, I'm really happy to be reading and reviewing a story which explores the connections between two very different characters. I think it's really refreshing that we see Snape through the eyes of Neville. Snape has always been a bully to Neville, and despite the former's acts of supposed heroism, it feels completely realistic that Neville has a hard time believing that Snape deserves all the publicity and praise heaped on him.
I love your characterisation of a battered postwar Neville. You really portray the effects of battle really well on his character. He's more mature, and there's a very convincing edge of bitterness to him. This line was really effective: Not as important as Severus Snape, of course, but still a hero.. It really conveyed in a very concise way, Neville's frame of mind and attitude toward Snape, and I do think he's justified in feeling this way. Some hurts certainly run too deep for any sort of instant forgiveness, and you've done a great job in putting this concept in writing. I love how both Neville and Hannah agree that they'll never accept Snape's heroic status; it's realistic rather than romanticised and forced. Despite not feeling any sense of closure with regard to his hostility toward Snape, I think it's lovely that he does find it in himself to move on, with the support of Hannah.
And speaking of Hannah, she's just lovely in this fic :) There are some lovely lines of description, too e.g. She had very fine lines at the corners of her eyes, and her cheeks had sunken in slightly so she looked almost skeletal. Her faded attire hung off her limply, and though there was light in her eyes, the weary shadows of tragedy blocked its brilliance. Very nice attention to detail. I love how they bonded over their war experiences, and how the story ends on the possibility of a new relationship. It's a really lovely ending, with a very strong sense of hope, which contrasts nicely to the darker, more introspective earlier bits of the story.
OK, I really enjoyed your story! It's realistic but warm at the right places. Your characters and their inner conflicts are also very well-conceptualised. Great work! Hoping to read more of your work soon :D
-tehAuthor's Response: Thanks so much for stopping by to read my story!
I think you're right here, Snape was always a bully to Neville, and I think that this particular reason has almost poisoned Neville's mind from the beginning. But it would make it even more difficult to try to move past something like this. I can see why he would have almost a PTSD like syndrome though, with the horrors that he saw.
I really enjoyed writing Hannah, that he could have someone to connect to over this. Thank you for your words about my descriptions, in a story like this I think it's important to have those so you really get the full picture of what is going on.
Thank you so much again for your review, I really appreciate it!!! :) Report Review
I love this! I'm such a fan of gritty post war stories that shows how hard it must have been for the students of Hogwarts to cope. I think you've done an excellent job of showing how hard it must have been and captured the haunting feeling of desperation and pain. Everything you wrote, the imagery, metaphors were negative and it really got across the terror that must have been occurring at Hogwarts during that year. I especially liked the image of kids screaming at nights in their bed because it just seems so poignant that it wasn't just the DA that were experiencing the harsh rule but everyone.
Neville's nightmare, oh my, it was just so real and emotional. I think it really highlights what Neville must have been feeling too when Harry hails Snape as one of the 'greatest' of war hero's. That would be a hard pill to swallow for Neville and for the students of Hogwarts because he turned his eyes when they needed someone to protect them the most. It doesn't help that Snape has always had that kind of bullying personality and has scared Neville into submission for years prior. It would be his worst nightmare to see his biggest fear hailed as a hero, as if everything he did was okay.
I loved that he didn't hate Harry for it though, just saw that their opinions would always be different and i have to say, i probably agree with him. Although Snape was Dumbledore's man i can't see it excusing his actions, especially prior to the last year especially for someone like Neville. Which is why i think choosing Neville as the narrator was such a good choice!
The ending was perfect because all people really need sometimes is someone who understands, who listens, and accepts. It tells them they are not alone in their troubles. It was great to see them connect like that and be able to then heal together. Really lovely work here!Author's Response: Thank you so much for your kind review! I actually had a lovely time writing this story. I think you're spot on about your thoughts between Snape and Neville. One thing I wish I would have done a little more of in this story is bring up the fears that Neville had had about Snape, have that play more of a part and its still something I might edit someday.
I don't think that Neville could ever hate Harry. I mean I think he is growing by not following everything Harry does anymore, but I don't think he could openly dislike Harry. I think it just shows how much he has matured as a person.
I am so very glad that you enjoyed my story, thank you so much for reading and reviewing I really appreciate it! Report Review
This is an impressive analysis of what Neville would be going through, and I think you've absolutely nailed it.Author's Response: Thank you so very much for this review, I really genuinely appreciate it! :) Report Review
Ho, ho, ho! I'm here to return the favor in the Holiday Review Swap Extravaganza. Thank you for the lovely review.
Honestly, this story had me sucked in just based on the summary. I haven't read one word yet, but I'm so incredibly interested to see what you envision as Neville's reaction to finding out the truth about Snape. Let's dig in, shall we?
Neville's nightmare was, well, nightmarish. I'm a big fan of stories about life at Hogwarts under Snape and the Carrows. One in particular, which I won't name because it isn't an HPFF story, filled my head canon full of terrible atrocities and brutal treatment of Neville and all of the other members of Dumbledore's Army during their year of darkness. Everything about Neville's bad dream evoked that atmosphere of cruelty, violence and terror. You don't name the other girl, but it really doesn't matter. It was a terrific characterization of the Carrows and of Neville's resistance in their face of their twisted "discipline."
Into the middle of Neville's misery strolls Snape. Casual, uncaring, probably dropping by to inform the Carrows of some message from Voldemort or the other Death Eaters. It must have been the ultimate slap in the face, especially after Neville learns whose side Snape was on all along. The only thing I can possibly think in Snape's defense is that it's unlikely the Neville truly understood how precarious Snape's position truly was, and how much worse things would have been if Snape had allowed himself to be found out.
In the midst of what basically amounts to a psychological crisis, I liked how you didn't completely take away Neville's sense of perspective. He isn't really angry with Harry for praising Snape's memory. He appreciates that Harry has been through ordeals that he can never completely understand and he's willing to accept that he and Harry are simply going to disagree where Snape is concerned. That sort of balance really added something to your story, at least for me. It would have been easy to simply take Neville right over the edge.
I liked the way that you combined physical and psychological manifestations of Neville's post-war trauma. The descriptions made it all feel very real. Even things as unrelated as the weather seemed to be conspiring to add to his misery.
And into his personal torment walks Hannah. The way you wrote her was brilliant. She's just as hurt and just as angry as Neville. She's also feeling victimized for a second time by Harry's vindication of the hated Headmaster. She understands. And that, more than anything, draws the two of them together. Lovely Neville/Hannah stories always give me such warm, fuzzy feelings, even when their circumstances aren't the best.
As far as your writing, there were a couple of things that jumped out at me. For one, you weren't consistent about capitalizing Order of the Phoenix, and I think the first and last words are always capitalized. In the paragraph where you're describing the Carrows torturing Neville and the Hufflepuff girl, you first talk about Neville enduring her last screams and later you say that she made no sound during her horrifying ordeal. Overall, though, you did a really good job with this. Everything flowed nicely and I liked the way that you mixed up your dialog and narration.
I hope this review is helpful and Happy Holidays!Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much for such a brilliant review on my story! I appreciate it very much!
To me, I thought it was important to portray Snape as sort of uncaring, even though I do think he genuinely was horrified by the conditions of Hogwarts (but I love me some Snape, so that's just natural)
I think that Neville will always be loyal to Harry, I think his friendship is one of the most important things to him, so it is probably really difficult for him to disagree with Harry on this, but just as he didn't see the things Harry saw, Harry didn't see the things he saw. It was important for me to show that, to show Neville being independent.
And I am going to fix the thing with the Carrows, I've just had that pointed out to me by someone else as well, so I'm off to fix that straight away :)
Thank you so very much again, I truly value your words :) Report Review
Hey! Perelandra here from the forums.
2 things before I review!
1) Sorry it has taken a while. I finally broke through my writer's block so I've been writing like mad in order to not forget my ideas and finish my next chapter.
2) Kind of intimidating reviewing for the Head of House. Just saying! XD
Alright, on with the review!
Love the imagery in the first paragraph! It gives the illusion that this is going to be somewhat of a 'happy' feel to it and then, in the second paragraph, we see the reality of things.
Speaking of the second paragraph, it says that Neville "endured the last screams of a girl whose name he did not know" but then at the end of the paragraph it says that she "made no sound during her horrific ordeal, opting instead to hang her head in complete and utter defeat". Is it the same girl or a different one?
After reading the truth in the books, I really liked the character of Severus Snape. But just like Neville, I had issues with what he did (or didn't for that matter) in the year he was headmaster. I can really see and understand where Neville comes from and his own feelings/disgust to Harry's words about Snape being a hero for the war. And yet I've always wondered...what the school would have been like WITHOUT Snape.
I wonder though, if Neville and Hannah would change their minds about Snape after hearing what he went through. Anyway, the emotions you managed to put through in this chapter is great. The fear, anger, disgust...I loved it! You made me feel bad for Neville and Hannah for everything they went through and their hatred for Snape and yet I can sympathize in their turmoil and anger about Harry's words about Snape.
Anyway, this was a great one-shot. I like 7th year Neville and 'beyond' stories so I'm glad that I got to read this!
Thanks for the great read!
--Rosie/PerelandraAuthor's Response: Don't be afraid to review my stories, I'm glad you did!
That is my bad, about the girl, I'll go fix that, I hadn't realized I'd done that :P it's the same girl.
I love Snape, so this was a very difficult thing for me to write. Usually I don't like it when people just cast him aside and say he was evil, but I think for Neville it would be very hard for him to forgive things.
Thank you so very much for coming to review this, I sincerely appreciate it! Report Review
Hi! It was really interesting to read about the war from Neville's point of view for a change. Considering how dreadfully Snape used to treat him, his seventh year must have been quite an ordeal. It just occured to me, that maybe Snape blamed Neville for Lily's death on some unconscious level. After all, he treated Harry poorly because of his father.
I love how vivid picture you painted with the words and descriptions really helped to understand Neville's inner turmoil. The idea to end this one-shot on a more positive note was an excellent decision. I really liked your Hannah and how they could together find some kind of closure.
I rarely like angsty stuff, but this was a lovely and very well thought out idea. It definitely goes to my favorites. =)
And by the way, thank you for all your work in the House Cup!Author's Response: Thank you so much for reviewing my story!
I actually didn't really think about Snape blaming Neville for Lily's death but I can definitely see how that generalization could be made, given that it was definitely going to be a boy born at the end of July and that boy ended up not being Neville. Of course, he really didn't luck out with parents either :(
I think it was really important to portray Neville as realistically as possible, because you have to think like... these kids didn't just celebrate the end of Voldemort and go on with their lives. I mean, Neville was TORTURED and nearly killed and...I mean I just don't think they'd get over that easily you know? So that was my goal in writing this, to make it somewhat believable PTSD.
Thank you so much for reviewing, it was positively lovely, and you are welcome as far as the HC is concerned, I had a great time :) Report Review
First of all thank you so much for entering my challenge. It means a lot to me. It's the first one I've been able to fully follow through despite having some real life difficulties here and there.
On a general note, I simply loved reading your entry. The flow was just spectacular. Everything fitted with how I imagined Neville's life to have been after the war (well more or less, because you never imagine things exactly the same as someone else). In your story it's only been a year since the Final Battle took place, so it's only natural for him to experience all those feelings. His turmoil felt so real, so alive, as if it had a life of it's own. A will of it's own, torturing Neville endlessly. As if what he had lived wasn't enough.
Your story is the first I read that tried to enter Neville's mind post the Second War. I especially congratulate you for keeping him very in character (at least in my opinion). This is one of the most important aspect for me when reading a story. I may suck at grammar and all the writing mechanics but I usually have a feel for characters (which is usually spot on) and it's very difficult for me to read stories that change the feel I have for a character just to fit a certain plot.
As off as this might sound, I am very pleased that Neville didn't change his mind about Snape so quick. I have a feeling you left that possibility open ("Neville Longbottom would heal eventually, the way all battle scars did") but as he said he was there when Snape stood idly to the horrors the Carrow's ensued at Hogwarts. And not only that, but Snape has been psychologically terrorizing Neville since day one in school. It wouldn't have been very believable if he would have managed to forgive him so fast.
Your story is pure feeling. I can empathize with Neville so much, but can't help feeling sorry for Snape. He has lived his life as a hero from the shadows and even after his death the scars he has left in people, even if for the greater good, are too deep to heal.
I'm very happy to have had you aboard on my challenge and very happy that my idea was food for your thought. I know you love Snape and as a fellow Snape lover I am very grateful to have partaken in your creativity process involving my favourite character :)Author's Response: Thanks for issuing such a great challenge! I love Snape so it was really interesting to explore his character through the eyes of someone who maybe wasn't as fond of him as I am.
So actually, in my story it's only been a month, not a year, so the happenings are very fresh and recent and I'm sure that Neville would have difficulty with the PTSD kind of stuff. And I'm sure he would have had a very difficult time with this kind of thing, you know, trying to return to an everyday, normal life.
Keeping Neville in character was one of my biggest worries to be honest with you because he tends to be a very light hearted character and it was difficult to balance that and really see the inner workings of his mind, which must be so very tortured so soon after the battle.
Yeah I don't know that Neville would ever be able to fully forgive Snape for everything that happened to him, both the mental turmoil which Snape did knowingly and for pleasure while he was younger, and also the things that he let happen under his tenure as headmaster, whether or not he was ok with them. i think Neville would have to deal with that for a long time in the future.
I'm so glad that you liked my story and I had a great time writing it for you challenge. thanks so much for reading and reviewing! :) Report Review
You already know that I loves this and that I think it's amazing, but I'll say it again. I love this and it is really amazing. I like the concept behind the story. It's not something that I've really thought about much and now that I've read about it it makes sense. Your use of description and emotion almost made me cry. I love how in the end you were able to nicely balance out the mostly sad context of the story with the happy(ish) ending. Great Job Ash! I always enjoy reading your stories!
P.S. omg my name is bold at the bottom! :O You're welcome! (h)Author's Response: Maggie! First and foremost thank you so much for making my banner, I really appreciate it. It's so lovely!
Thanks so much for reading my story, I'm glad you liked my description and such, because that's something I really tried to do well in this. I'm really pleased you like it. Thank you for reviewing! Report Review
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