I really liked it! I hope you'll write a sequel Report Review
Aaah, I really loved this. I had this internal struggle whilst reading this, thinking i want them to get back together but they shouldn't because he reeally screwed up. What I'm trying to say is, you're a fantastic writer. You do need to reread in some places but I hope you write something longer soon.Author's Response: I'm so glad you liked it! I'm not working on it's longer version anytime soon but a few ideas have been hopping around!
I'll work on some errors when I start editing this again.
Thank you sooo much for your review! :) Report Review
This was really really well done!
You did this song-fic really really well. I was pleasantly surprised. It was wonderful in the way the song added to the story rather than supported it. The song would tell a story, and then the story would build off of it rather than re-tell it. I really liked that.
I really liked the story and the characters. They had me hooked. Your story was well thought out and believable.
As I didn't check the era before reading this, I liked how the inclusion of Dom and Roxanne made it very clear what era this is in and which James you were writing about.
One thing I would suggest you improve on, show your story rather than tell it. I know that most of this is a flash back and that it simply wouldn't work in a typical story format, but the intro and ending could have worked on this a little bit.
A great example of this is this sentence: "I was typing out the outline for a new book."
Now read it like this "The keyboard clicked as I wove together my new book" Or something along those lines. See how showing the reader that the keyboard was clicking does the same thing as telling them she is typing, but it also gives them a sound to associate it with. They will be able to hear the keyboard clicking and see Aurora's fingers moving across the keyboard.
There were a couple of grammar mistakes. Running this story past a beta could be beneficial. But overall nothing too serious. The story still flowed very nicely and there was nothing that made me worry about the grammar over the story.
On the idea of a sequel, I don't think this particular story needs one. You end the story on such a strong note. You show just how strong a character Aurora is and I really like the way it ends. However, definitely don't throw away these characters. You could easily extend this piece out into a longer story, you have the characters and the storyline already, or you could write a short story as a sequel just post it separately. I think part of the beauty of this piece is the note it ends on. Aurora just stood up for herself and gave up the love of her life. I would hate to see that ending broken. However this is just my opinion.
Overall a very good piece that was very well done. You incorporated the song beautifully and it fit the story really nicely. I loved reading this. Keep up the good work!Author's Response: I'm so glad you enjoyed the story! :)
I'll work on the grammar and the few bits you mentioned when I get the time. Right now I'm working on editing my other story. After that's done I'll go back to work on this. Maybe in a month or so because of school and all.
I was thinking of having another song fic as its sequel but your suggestion of making a short story seemed more appealing.
Thank you so much for your review! It was really helpful!!! Report Review
That was really good. I truly enjoyed it. Please write a sequel. It's was just a little confusing when it was switching back to her memories, so maybe you should put that in italics or something. But other than that it was really good. I can't wait to find out what happens next.Author's Response: I glad to hear you liked it.=)
I work on it's edit after I'm done with editing my other story. I've found a song for it's sequel, I'll write it when i get the chance.
Thanks so much for the review!! Report Review
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