Reading Reviews for Their Last Night
  
9 Reviews Found

Review #1, by starryskies55 The Best Halloween Ever

15th July 2013:
Can't believe I haven't reviewed anything of yours, Maz!

I loved Beta'ing this story, it was really good. I loved the originality of it, and especially the cliffhanger at the end! You couldn't leave it on a nice note, could you? :P
I think you've really done the characters of james and lily justice here- they're so clearly in love and totally exasperated with each other at the beginning (well, more Lily than James) and when it turns all fluffy and cute, you still have those same characters, which are well developed for a short piece.

You've got some wonderful turns of phrases in here, like; "unwrapping a chocolate frog and popping it into his mouth before it could even register its freedom" and "And for heaven's sake, it's a door bell! Ding dong is the noise it makes!"

Overall Maz, wonderful one shot- an honour to read! :P

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Review #2, by CambAngst The Best Halloween Ever

11th July 2013:
Tagging you from the Review the Person Above You thread in the Common Room.

Now I've read two of your stories and both of them were so sweet and heart-warming. I think I've figured out what your niche is. In fairness, I have to admit that this one had quite an unsettling twist at the end, but we all knew it was coming. Sniff... :(

The idea of James going way, way overboard with Halloween decorations fit perfectly with my head canon James. He's such a kid at heart. I'm sure Halloween was a holiday that he looked forward to for weeks if not months, ever year of his life. Between the decorations and the feasts and the pranks and the candy... this holiday is James Potter up one side and down the other. And I love the fact that more than anything, he wanted it to be special for Harry. Lily, too, but I think that making it special for Harry would also make it pretty special for her.

Poor Lily came across like every mother of a rambunctious and partially nap-deprived toddler that I've ever seen. You had the details perfect, right down to the part where she's changing her shirt for the third time of the day. In a way, she's managing two children at this moment, and I feel for her.

The imagine of James happily clutching Harry in his arms while handing out candy was almost too dear for words. It's one of those scenes that makes you want to curl up in a ball and play "what if" until you just can't take the sad feels any more. Then Lily joins them with her camera and you have the perfect little family. For a minute or two, anyway. :(

There's only one bit of constructive criticism I can offer you, because your writing was lovely. It's sort of a conundrum. I read your other reviews and I was a little surprised it had never come up. If the house was under a Fidelius Charm, I'm not sure how the trick-or-treaters would be able to find it. Peter was the Secret Keeper, so nobody else could have revealed the location. Maybe he was standing out front, whispering to every kid who passed by, "You're standing in front of James and Lily Potter's house... and they have sweets." Or maybe they all knew about the house already since they were from the neighborhood. There's a lot that's unclear about how the Fidelius works, but I thought I'd point it out because aside from that, I got nothin'. ;)

Great job! I really enjoyed the read!

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Review #3, by Maelody The Best Halloween Ever

2nd May 2013:
Oh my wow, Maz! I came to check out this story 'cause I saw you wanted it to be recorded (I was a little slow at the grabbing ;)). This is really beautiful! It had me smiling the whole way through, and it felt no where near as long as it was! I was very surprised I was at the end when I got there! I was so happy seeing them as a little happy family, and how adorable little Harry was, and laughing out loud at the thought of him being a carrot. I loved how James had to keep his mouth shut about the fairies, and how his decorations were a little too over the top. You added every detail and every lovely thing that I just couldn't stop reading! Then, when it went to James playing with Harry and the puffs of smoke, I about cried because of what I know from the books. Tears literally formed in my eyes! It ended so quickly, but so perfectly. Because, well, their lives at that moment changed so quickly. I thought it was going to end in "Lily, take Harry and run!" but it still ended right where it needed to.

This was a lovely fic! I really love how you interpreted them as a family, and it makes me even sadder knowing they didn't survive. I'll have to see if you have any other stories! If so, I do hope you have more Lily/James ones! ;)

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Review #4, by soufflegirl99 The Best Halloween Ever

1st November 2012:
Your first story? :O
My jaw just dropped to the ground.
It's very funny and awesome, I loved all of it!
It's gripping, I could not take my eyes off the screen, and I was eating up every word you wrote, until the classic delivery of the last line, which is brilliantly formatted to have that huge impact on the reader.
I love the way you based some bits around real life, as in the first time Harry waved, and James wanting to be the first oe to see it, and the way Lily loves taking pictures. It makes it even sadder the way they die.
I was certainly not expecting that ending - you had me the whole way along until the shocking cliffhanger.
You got the challenge, and turned it in to something completely original and creative. Amazing story, I loveeddd it!! :D

Author's Response: This was a very cute review and I loved every second of reading it! I wanted to make the story more funny and family-y but then ya know...crush all the dreams of the reader in one line...;) oh voldy, why do you have to be such a buzz kill? Lily's habit is stolen from me, I love taking pictures but unfortunately when I do my thumb is always over the lens or its blurry.

You are so lovely! I'm glad you liked this story so much :) you are welcome back any time to review if I write some more :D


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Review #5, by Akussa The Best Halloween Ever

30th October 2012:
That was a really good story!

I love all the little details you put in there; really gave this scene a nice feel. Like I could see what the place looked like, all decorated and all!

And that last sentence... really nicely done. We all know what's going to happen so there was no need to go further into the story; you made the right choice in stopping there.

The one little thing that I will point out (and it's really just so I can give you constructive criticism) is that Harry's accomplishement, waving, isn't really age appropriate. Harry would be 15 months old at that moment and babies usually begin waving around 7 months old... A more appropriate behavior would be for him to stack 3 or 4 blocks onto each other or undress himself; those are things that a baby begins doing around 15-16 months of age.

Congrats on getting the story of the month by the way, it is well worth it!!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! It's really odd and genuinely amazing when people take the time to review you. I did worry about where to stop, thinking I should stop before they're even in the living room or cut forward to when they are dead but eventually decided to stop there -- it's great that you liked it! Shout out to starryskies55 for originally giving me the idea and mentoring me through my first fic :')

Ah the baby waving, I honestly didn't know the specific age when they would start. My mum gave kea very vague answer and I probably shouldn't have taken her word for it. Thank you for telling me, reviews are like extra knowledge!

Oh wow. Thank you! I was really suprised, honestly. I didn't think anyone would read it :)


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Review #6, by Phoenix_feather123 The Best Halloween Ever

13th October 2012:
It was so nice and sweet! All the way until the last sentence, when I am guessing Voldemort came in. Then It must of gone horribly wrong...

Author's Response: Aww, thank you! Yes, I was hoping that people would realise that it was their death day. I didn't want to go all the way through their death, as J.K has already recounted it for us through the eyes of Voldermort. I wanted it to end with them happy and oblivious and not yet dealing with the pain :)

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Review #7, by auror_snape The Best Halloween Ever

11th October 2012:
That was absolutely adorable! I loved it!

Author's Response: Gah! I'm really happy you enjoyed this! It's been really satisfying and downright wonderful to find that people really like this oneshot. I hope to write more in the future, I guess all I need right now are ideas;)

Thank you for reviewing!
Maz


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Review #8, by harronhermy The Best Halloween Ever

8th October 2012:
I REALLY like this a lot. It's so sweet, but just knowing what happens at the end is heartbreaking. Baby Harry is so cute, it's insane.

Author's Response: I'm really glad you liked it, and I was going for exactly that effect. I'm really glad that the ending of the story didn't go amiss. Baby Harry was difficult to write but I have been baby sitting a lot and generally based his character off that. I actually had to have a bath when I got back from babysitting -- I had that much drool on me;)

Thank you for reviewing!
Maz


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Review #9, by AussieHermioneJean The Best Halloween Ever

2nd October 2012:
Really Good. Sequel! Please!

Author's Response: Aw, thank you! Did you know that you are my first review ever? Haha, this is the first ever story I've posted :) I don't think there will be a sequel as the bang at the end is meant to indicate that voldermort has come to kill them. Sad but true.

Thank you for reviewing,
Maz


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