I cried. I actually cried. This was so sad . . .
-GlidingOneAuthor's Response: Thank you for reading and reviewing! :D Report Review
I liked this a lot, I've never really read much about Regulus, so this was new for me. I loved the way you broke up the events.
I did notice you tend to leave out punctuation in dialogue (ex. "I can save you Reg" she smiled.) You might just want to watch that you include a period at the end of the sentence. (ex. "I can save you Reg." She smiled.)
Other than that, it was great! Really good work!
- FaithAuthor's Response: Thank you so much (again!)
Seriously, this is the best gift I could have asked for! Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU :D Report Review
Wow. That was a really powerful ending that certainly surprised me. I think I'm still recovering from the shock. Anyway, that was an excellent fanfiction, especially for being one of your first attemts at writing angst.
The characterization was good, it just seemed a little off at times. For example, Sirius commented at some point that he was never his mother's favorite. He made it sound like Mrs. Black favored Regulus. Anyway, you did an excellent job developing Regulus throughout the chapter. His emotions were spot on, making him an easily relatable character.
Just out of curiosity, if Astra favored Sirius, why wouldn't she have allowed the hat to place her in Gryffindor?
I noticed a few spelling and grammar mistakes, such as the misspelling of McGonagall, but nothing major that detracts from the overall story.
The plot was also fantastic. I feel that you rushed some of the scenes a tiny bit. It would have been nice to be able to read a little more about each event that is mentioned.
P.S. Sorry it took me so long to get around to your review!Author's Response: Thank you so much :) Don't worry! Take all the time you need :) The reason Astra didn't place herself in Gryffindor, is she felt Regulus needed her more :) I'm definitely going to get this chapter beta'd at some stage :) Thank you so much for the review :) Report Review
This was really great! It gave me more of a character to put to Regulus! Thanks for sharing!!Author's Response: No problem :) Thanks for reading :D Report Review
Hey, there! It's Veritaserum_Girl; from the reveiw thread.
I love, love, love your perception of Regulus! It's perfect. I also like Astra, as well. She seemed like the sweet girl that would keep Regulus in check (even though it didn't exactly work). I'm also glad that you put so much emphasis on the fact that Regulus was always in Sirius' shadow; I feel like that was true about the two brothers. I feel like he didn't escape that role until he was a little older.
I also like the idea of Severus hating Regulus. I always imagined them being acquaintances or friends. I never really thought about it now, but I'm curious as to why Severus hated him in this story.
Overall, I think this was really good. And you did a really good job with the angst part.
10/10Author's Response: Thank you so much for reviewing :D
The reason Severus hated Regulus is because he saw what he could have had if Lily had been in Slytherin, but as they got older, and he saw how nervous and meek Astra became, he began feeling relieved that his dream hadn't come true! At first I was going to write this as a parallel universe kind of thing with Lily and Snape, but then I thought of Regulus, and Astra kind of floated into my head, so I wrote it this way instead :) Thank you so much for such a lovely review :) Report Review
Ahhh I see, then please disregard all of my comments. :)Author's Response: Okay, I suppose I could have gone into a bit more detail.ah well! :) Report Review
Great job, I love it -its different emotional and etc
The only thing I would request is that you include the relation of astra to the blacks- is she a neighbor/friend? ( thats what I concluded too), some confirmation on who she married ( sirius?) and who killed her
Thanks 4 an awesome story tho!Author's Response: Astra was the Blacks neighbor :) And she married Sirius, just so you know:) I made this story very vague on purpose :) Adds a bit of mystery to the whole shebang :) Report Review
Wow! This is really intense, but really really good! I love it! You should write more stories like this one!
WildCatAuthor's Response: Thank you :) I love reviews! Like so much! I think I will be writing more stuff like this, I've decided fluff isn't all I like to write :D Report Review
Oh wow! I really, really loved the way you wrote this piece!
I loved the relationship between Astra, Sirius and Regulus, it all seemed to mould perfectly together, and I have never, ever thought of Regulus as having some physical weakness such as asthma so it was really interesting to read your take of it :)
There was some punctuation missing, nothing too drastic, but it would help if you'd gone back to fix a bit of it ;)
despite that, I loved the last part where you repeated "I can save you Reg". I thought that was really, really great :)
Thanks for participating in the challenge and good luck with both of them :DAuthor's Response: Thank you :) I go back and fix the punctuation :) Report Review
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