It's me again, haha! I'm sticking around, I really do like where this story is going :) We seem to be pretty much in the same boat- I've only recently taken writing up again after a year or two off, and this is your first story on this archive, so we should totally stick together. I'd love some honest feedback on my chapters, and I'd be happy to give you some as well.
Out of curiosity, can I ask what your writing process is? Like, do you type it straight into a word processor and then post it from there, or what?
Oh, and you don't really need to worry about chapter lengths- I was worrying about my own a little while ago, but then when I went out and read other people's work I found that it didn't really faze me. As long as it's long enough to say what you need to say, I guess!
Jianne :)

Author's Response: Thank you for sticking with me! I just dump my tangents into works word processor. It gets jumbled a tad when I paste it here on HPFF.
I'm liking where your story is headed. Yes, I'd love to tag along with you and become a loyal reader. You have the same feelings I do about the characters. Thank you so much for your advice!
xoxo Mirranda

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Oooh, I'm very intrigued. A few of the hyphens at the beginning seemed like they were in strange places, (like "A long shower- in solitude was healthy.") but it wasn't a big deal. Apart from that, I'm quite enjoying it :)

Well done on a gripping beginning!

Author's Response: I want to thank you profusely, Jianne!

Upon reading it over for editing, you are correct. I hadn't noticed my growing affinity to the hyphens and dashes =). This is the first time I've ever tried anything like this and I'm nervous. My style is still undeveloped, I feel.

The use of those was to cause a 'pause' for effect, meaning to make the second half of the sentence more punctuated. Any suggestions? Or can I simply remove those and my message still come across?

I was worried the first chapter was too short and boring. Thank you again! I've 2 more currently waiting to be validated. If you don't mind, I would love for you to continue to offer suggestions that will make it easier to understand and read =)

With MUCH appreciation and thanks for your help,
Mirranda

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