Ah, there we go, that last chapter cleared things up a lot. First off, you spelled "Dumbledore" wrong somewhere in there (really big stickler for these things, sorry). Second, I like how you slowly revealed the plot and didn't just bluntly state it- much better build up. Third, I don't believe Harry would ever go so far as to laugh at Luna's creatures. Fourth, I really like how everything ties in with the original story. I can see this working out really well in terms of canon. Finally, I would really really like to see more plots being layered in here, because even though you have a really nice main plot, longer stories generally need sub plots to keep it going.
9/10 Very nice job so far, but you spelled something wrong and I'm still waiting to see subplots. However, it was never boring, and was very well written in some parts, like how Draco describes Potter and his friends.Author's Response: First off...thank you SO MUCH for the reviews!! (YOU'RE THE FIRST ONE!!)
Hehhh... I know what you mean it bugs me too when names aren't spelt right.
But the awkward part is...I can't find the part that you're referring to... I'm pretty sure I only wrote his name once, and it was written correctly. HOWEVER I'm not the greatest at re-reading so there's a big chance that it's there somewhere... Any possibilities that you could tell me where you spotted my mistake?
For Harry laughing at Luna... while I understand where you're coming from, my take on his perspective of things is that Luna's little... quirky side has always been something slightly (I won't go so far as to say funny) amusing to him. ARGH I'm not phrasing this right, but what I'm trying to say is that no, he's not laughing at Luna in a mean way, nor is Spencer mocking her spitefully... But as for your comment, I see how you could misunderstand what I was trying to get at, so I'm editing it so that instead of "her jab at Luna," it'll be, "as she echoed Luna's previous words." Spencer isn't a mean person, but it's in her personality to tease people, not intending to offend them.
And as for sub-plots, never fear, hopefully you'll find something interesting in the next chapter (*cough*). I'd like to throw something at you for your opinion though... Would your preference be to find out more about Spencer's past or what she really is doing in the "present"?
MULTIPLE THANKS AGAIN FOR THE REVIEW
compliments are very much appreciated (WHOO SELF ESTEEM BOOSTER :P they make me feel warm and fuzzy inside)
On a calmer note, thanks again :)
This is a pretty good prologue, it gives me a good sense of what's going on. Major props on getting some sense of a plot out there though, and more props on having decent grammar.
8.5/10 because it isn't outstanding (I'm really picky with 9's and 10's) For me to give you a 9 or 10, it would have to: draw me in immediately, be well elaborated, have sufficient detail (more about who exactly it is she's eating with), and all the stuff you already did. Report Review
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