What a great story summary! And Eve has a nice, clear tone of voice that's fun to read. That was very well done.
I think though, that Eve's character could be improved by giving her some limitations to her 'power' of being able to read people. I understand that it's helpful to have her tell us 'James is bold and fearless' but I feel that simply having Eve tell us an action James did (he pretended to be a knight) is enough of a descriptor. Maybe it's because I'm coming from an RP mindset, but I wasn't too sure I liked having Eve say she could tell everyone was tense. I think Eve's power is interesting, but I'd like to see more specifically where the limits to it are.
Once again though, you have a fantastic writing voice and style that's clear and easy to read. Good luck with the rest of your story! :) Report Review
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