Hi! Siriusly89 here from the review thread!
I love this so much! To be honest, this is just a wonderful comparison, and I really have no idea why I haven't thought of it before,
Lily as Wendy, James as Peter (you know which one I mean!) and then the rest of the Marauders as The Lost Boys.
Its the second last line that hits me the hardest, because they haven't grown up, they didn't get a chance to grow up! James and Lily were killed, Sirius was carted off to Azkaban, Peter spent twelve years as a rat, and Remus was basically shunned from society, so yes, that really gave me a lump in my throat!
Just a brilliant, brilliant piece!
10/10Author's Response: Hi there! Thank you so much for stopping by; I really appreciate it!
And I'm so glad that you enjoyed this little oneshot; it was a lot of fun to write and it makes me so happy when people like it!
It's funny, because I had never thought of the comparison either until I saw Peter and the Starcatcher on Broadway. It then made me think intensely of Peter Pan, and because I bring everything back to Harry Potter, I somehow came to the conclusion that Lily was Wendy, James was Peter, etc. And I'm glad that you agree with me!
The ending was something that I struggled with because I needed this oneshot to be 500 words exactly for the challenge and I felt like I was wrapping up the story too quickly. So the fact that you liked it makes me so happy! It is sad, though, because unfortunately the first war didn't end well for the Marauders (I think you really hit it on the nail with what you said), and I really wanted to portray that.
So thank you so very much! I'm so glad that you liked my story and I really appreciate you stopping by to read it!
~Jess :D Report Review
Hi there! I'm here for your first review! :D
Firstly, OH MY GOD. THIS IS ACTUALLY PERFECT.
I don't know why I've never read it before! It's actually one of the best one-shots I've read on here so far!
I love, love, LOVE the comparisons with Peter and James, Wendy and Lily. I adore how you've written the way they were flying and the way Lily has become a part of the Marauders; I love seeing that in fics. It's never a good story when Lily causes a rift between them.
And the way she taught them about the Muggle fairy tales, it really captures Lily's personality perfectly.
And the simile: The cool night air creeps into the dormitory and into her bones like a whisper among friends
Wowza. That was absolutely gorgeous. I read it over and over, just WONDERING how someone could think of something like that.
And the 500 words, it was perfect. I think if you had written it longer, it would have dragged on. You've done really well with this one-shot. I can't find one fault!
And your James, he just seems so sweet and goofy; which is my favourite portrayal of him! :D
Also, about her feeling the laughter that's coming from him - that was another beautiful sentence.
These emotions (shipping feels), are just - oh my God. You've captured the right amount of fluffiness and romance without it being sickening. It's just perfect.
So, you can probably tell, I just LOVE this one-shot! I love everything about it! :D
Definitely a 10/10! :D Report Review
one of the most beautiful and poetic stories...
p.s isnt i do believe in fairies from the movie Peter Pan?Author's Response: Thank you so much! That's so sweet of you to say! And the whole "I believe in fairies" is from Peter Pan but I took that exact quote ("I do believe in fairies, I do, I do") from E.T. Gurdy says it when she and her mom are reading Peter Pan. But I'm sure it was probably said (or at least something similar) in that movie as well :D Report Review
This is absolutely lovely! You have a very adept way of phrasing things.Author's Response: Wow! Thank you so much! :D Report Review
ASDFGHJKL, I have so many things to say about this it's unreal I never have this much to say about anything. OK, yes I do. I'll get on.
1. I found this all so perfect and wonderful that I printed it out and I now have it in the back of my English book to read whenever I get bored of my terrible English teacher droning on about persuasive language.
2. James&Lily is one of my (many, many, many) OTPs, and this is one of my favourite one-shots - no. Favourite ANY FORMAT stories regarding them as the main couple. It's just so magnificent (I love using that word, it's so big and bold and it reminds me of choral singing...off topic there!) and the incorporation of Peter Pan and that story works so well. It's the kind of thing you don't think about and I love how in a way, you can put so many characters from one story with characters from another story. Like literature(s) bounces off each other without intending to, and I think that's unbelievably cool.
3. I love the ending so much, because it's true - they do fade out, one by one, and it's such a fantastic way of phrasing it. I haven't actually read any of the stories by J.M. Barrie, which means I am rubbish and I don't know what I'm talking about. But either way, you put Peter Pan with Harry Potter and this makes you wonderful.
4. I want to say that this was 'short and sweet', but that would be a horrid thing to say because yes, it was short and sweet but it was also incredible and beautiful and it wasn't sweet in the way that a cute kitten is sweet, or in the way that a couple taking a romantic stroll is sweet. It was sweet in the way that makes me cry a little bit (and then a little bit more) and hate you for writing something so perfect. Yeah, I really wish I'd written this.
5. All the lines that you put in from Peter Pan were perfect as well - I especially lovelovelove the 'second to the right and straight till morning' one; this was beautiful.
I literally cannot find a single fault, either. Just everything is fantastic and I'm 100% in love with this; it was ... I think the word I want is captivating, but I'm not sure.
Anyway, your writing is so flawless - maybe you should just write ALL THE THINGS.
(I'm sorry my review is so tangent-y and unintelligible and a bit ... overeager. Oops.)Author's Response: Thank you so much for this beautiful review; can't stop smiling every time I read it. It made me so happy in fact that I showed it to my mom. And then I let her read the story which is something that I NEVER do haha. So thank you!
1. This is probably the coolest thing anyone has ever said to me. Just wow. Thank you! That is so incredible and as an aspiring writer, I am just over the moon. So thank you so very much!!!
2. James and Lily are my OTP as well! They're so great and cute and oh my god I can't even handle it bring on the feels. (Sorryâ¦) So yeah, they're favorite and the fact that this is one of your favorite stories about them makes me want to combust with happiness like I can't even - thank you thank you thank you! That's so unbelievably nice of you to say and I really appreciate it! I got the idea after I saw the Broadway play Peter and the Starcatcher and while thinking about the characters, it occurred to me that there were many parallels between the main characters. I had never thought of it before either but it's definitely there and like you said, literature is all connected and that's so cool.
3. Don't feel bad; I've only read part of Peter and Wendy by J.M. Barrie. But I've seen several films based off of it and recently saw the prequel on Broadway; Peter Pan has always been a favorite of mine. I love its themes and it's universe and I'm so glad that you think I did a good job at putting the two universes together! I worked really hard at connecting their worlds (such as making the golden snitch James' own version of Tinkerbell, etc). And I'm glad that you liked the ending! It's sad to think of, but we all fade away when we die. We become distant memories, frozen in time. James and Lily will always be 21 and they will only exist to the people who knew or remember them.
4. I'm sorry and thank you haha. I appreciate it :D
5. Thank you! I wanted to incorporate as many as possible and that just fit so well in my opinion :)
Thank you so very much for reading and reviewing this; your words are so kind and lovely and I just appreciate it so much!!!
~Jess :D Report Review
Hey Jess, it's Molly from the forums with your requested review! I apologize for taking so long to get to this; I was preoccupied with RL things, most unfortunately.
I loved this piece. Really, truly loved it. Every word was perfect. There was such a childlike naivety to this. You captured the essence and wonder of Peter Pan beautifully, and it worked really well when applied to Lily and James and their friends.
That last paragraph packs such a punch. Honestly, I was sitting at my computer, wiping my eyes on the sleeve of my sweatshirt. It's so sad, how they were all so long when they died. Easily my favorite part of the whole piece, not just for the emotional impact but also the beauty of the prose.
This was a great one-shot and a wonderful use of the 500 words allotted to you. Fantastic job!
- MollyAuthor's Response: Hi Molly! Thank you so much for stopping by; I apologize for taking so long to respond to your lovely review.
I'm so glad that you enjoyed this; that makes me so very happy! I really wanted to represent James and Lily properly and portray every bit of their story that reminded me of Peter Pan and I'm over the moon that you think I captured that! So thank you!
And I feel so much better about the ending now that I've read your review - thank you so much! I'm sorry that it made you cry but it makes me happy in an evil way because that's the kind of response that I wanted. I really appreciate all of your wonderfully kind words about the ending.
So thank you thank you thank you! I really appreciate it!!!
~Jess :D Report Review
Its Veritaserim_girl; from my thread
I really like this! Your ending is perfect; it gives the ending a nice flow. I love the way you incorporated themes from Peter and Wendy into this. I think that you have really good imagery and descriptions, which makes this one-shot all the better!
Good job! c:Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm so glad that you enjoyed this; I really appreciate you stopping by!
~Jess :D Report Review
Wow. Your use of language is brilliant! This is absolutely gorgeous!Author's Response: Thank you so much!!! :D Report Review
Gah, this is just OFMDJSOABX (so cute) I love how you've compared them to Wendy and The lost boys, it's actually one of my favourite books ;)) your writing just flows, I love it, I mean I love wonderland and hipster too, but this is just adorable :DAuthor's Response: Thank you so much! I've always loved Peter Pan so I was really excited when I noticed the connection and I'm so glad that you enjoyed it! And my other stories :) Report Review
Awh, this is lovely(:Author's Response: Thank you so much! :D Report Review
This was so amazing! Keep up the good work XDAuthor's Response: Thank you so much! :D Report Review
Beautiful, as always. You're a master of your craft and I am jealous! :)Author's Response: Thank you so much! And gah you flatter me! You have nothing to be jealous of, dear :) Report Review
This was really great, gave me chills :P I love how you compared them to Peter Pan, that was really creative. I loved it, awesome job!Author's Response: Thank you so much! That's so sweet of you to say :D Report Review
Aww! This was very sweet! Oh and Imagine Dragons is my absolute favorite band.Author's Response: Thank you so much! AND I LOVE THEM SO MUCH IT HURTS jkdasjfdlhsljgsjg
Someday I will see them in concert. SOMEDAY. Report Review
Hi! You posted a new one shot so we can try this again, no?
I loved loved loved this piece. As much as I do enjoy all of the eras, James/Lily is and always will be my OTP (which is why next on my to review list is your other James/Lily one shot :P).
This piece perfectly captured how I view the Marauders and Lily. You comparison to Wendy and the Lost Boys is not only a mind boggling one for me, but a perfect one. Though I never would have thought of it myself, I can't think of a better analogy to make and I absolutely love this piece for that reason alone.
And the statement about her being their Wendy? Perfect! In my mind, Lily was always James', but shared among all the Marauders, loving them each in their own unique way. I often refer to them as her boys :) so we're in complete agreement here.
I also loved this piece, because for me at least, it emphasized the way I always do envision Lily and James to be, at least once they did fall in love:a fairy tale. To me their love is untouchable and unparalleled by almost any. I know that I idealize them, but I like it that way. And I love this piece because it captures so much of that viewpoint for me.
The end was my favorite part, though undoubtedly the saddest as well. The statement that one by one the Marauders faded away, their lights going out, touched on something in my heart. It's devastating to me the way that none of them achieved lasting happiness, but you encapsulated the time when they were united and happy. It was beautiful.
In case you couldn't tell, I love this one shot. Keep up the good work :) 10/10
~CassieAuthor's Response: Hello Cassie! Let's try this again, indeed!
I am right on board with you on the James/Lily ship; they're just so perfect! They're my favorite, my OTP :)
And I'm so glad that you liked the connection! I was so excited when I noticed it (after seeing Peter and the Starcatcher on Broadway) and I couldn't resist making a little story out of it.
I agree that Lily belonged to all of the Marauders - and they are her boys! I love the whole idea that when she began her relationship with James, she got all four of them; they were a package deal :)
We're also on the same page with the James/Lily fairytale aspect. I think that they lived a very tragic, scary live together, what with the war and all of the deaths around them, but I think they found a lot of happiness and love in one another. That's why it kind of upsets me when I read stories about their marriage or a year into their relationship and their so /unhappy/. I mean, the poor kids barely even get to be kids and their entire lives are about war, and they die at the age of 21, leaving behind their 15 month old child AND YOU'RE GONNA MAKE THE LITTLE TIME THEY HAVE TOGETHER MISERABLE???
Sorry about that, I have so many feels on that front. It's not that I don't think that they had their arguments or their issues, I just think that they had a really strong bond and love and that they made each other happy. So...yeah I agree with you wholeheartedly on that! haha
So thank you so much! I'm so glad that you enjoyed this and that you liked the ending! I know it's sad but I knew it needed to end that way.
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!
PS: IT WORKED THIS TIME WOO!!! Report Review
Wow, what a beautiful one-shot! You know, it's funny, I was thinking a little while ago that there were some thematic connections between Peter Pan and the Marauders. It's heart-breaking to look at them through this lens, to think of the fact that they were all happiest when they were young--and not only that they were happiest then, because that could probably be said of many people, but that such tragedy brought an end to that happiness.
It never even occurred to me to think of Lily as Wendy, but it really works. I also love the comparisons you've drawn between Peter and James.
All in all, just a beautiful piece of writing. The words themselves, the imagery, the message...gah, it's just lovely. :)Author's Response: Hi! So this is probably the coolest thing ever! Like, you're pennyardelle!!! Oh my god! Ahhh!
Sorry, I'm fangirling, I'm just a really huge fan of your writing (Once Defied and Twice Defied woo!) so this is really exciting for me :)
Normal Person Mode: I'm so glad that you enjoyed this little oneshot! So thank you so much! I actually made the connection because I saw this wonderful Broadway play called Peter and the Starcatcher (it's based on a book by the same name and it's the prequel to Peter Pan) and the female lead reminded me of Lily a little bit. And then it just got me thinking that Peter is kind of like James with that lovable arrogance and Lily being motherly towards her boys and then I just couldn't stop thinking about all the connections and this is what I ended up with. And I definitely agree that the Marauders' story is so very tragic; they had the whole world ripped from them.
So thank you so very much! I'm so unbelievably flattered that you've read something that I've written (and liked it ahhh!) so yeah, thank you! I have to read the next chapter of Twice Defied, so you'll be seeing a review from me soon :)
Thanks for reading and reviewing!
~Jess :D Report Review
Love this story. :) Great job.Author's Response: Thank you so much! :D Report Review
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