Reading Reviews for The Writing on the Wall.
113 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Pixileanin The Gryffindor Quidditch Team.

13th January 2015:
Hi! I'm back to read more of your story. Little Albus has me intrigued, so I wanted to know what he's been getting up to. Poor Albus and his house color confusion!

Oh hey, and Slughorn has returned to teach Potions again!

Haha! Albusí brother pranks him here too, I see. Some things must be universal, like older brothers who like to pick on their younger, defenseless siblings. But James seems rather sweet later on. Iím glad heís not as much into teasing Albus as that other James I know.

That was a lovely letter that Albus got from his dad, and it was sweet how he choked up a little and tried not to show how homesick he was, being reminded of home. Itís hard being away for the first time, and for so long.

I liked the way that you made the difference between Lucyís father bragging so much about her achievements, and the way that Lucy acts. Still, it has probably rubbed off on her to be a little bit annoying. Sometimes people canít help that.

It was very appropriate to throw in that suspicious vibe with Brian when Albus and Rose got to the pitch to watch the tryouts. It was awfully handy that Dominique was there to smooth things over. I like seeing these young characters have older family members to ease them into the transition of being at Hogwarts. Albus and Rose were cute, cheering James along during the tryouts.

Aww, and they get an unjustified detention on their first week of school. Albus is already living up to his brother's reputation, and he didn't even deserve it. And Rose too! I bet they were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Blackburn seems a bit fishy. I wonder what sheís got going on?

Author's Response: Really glad to see you back. Thank you so much for the review.

Yeah, Slughorn's staying around a while longer, so I can introduce new teachers gradually. I didn't want to bring in new teachers just for the sake of it, especially if I didn't have parts for them.

11 is SO young to go away from home for months on end. I know people I knew were upset enough starting college and we were 17ish and going home for weekends, so it was only 5 days at a time.

Brian takes Quidditch practice pretty seriously.

And yes, Albus and Rose DEFINITELY didn't deserve detention there. They were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. There'll be more about that in the next chapter, but I'll say no more about that now.

Blackburn has a pretty important part to play in this story. I won't say any more now except that I probably have more notes on her than I do on Albus or Rose. She has quite a lot going on, but it won't be revealed for a while.

 Report Review

Review #2, by Pixileanin The First Night.

6th December 2014:
Hi there! I thought I'd come over and check out some of your writing. There was so much to choose from, and I really wanted to jump right into your current WIP, but I couldn't resist starting from the beginning, so here I am.

I love how this story starts right up after the epilogue of book seven. Poor Albus is so worried over his sorting, but then what magical kid wouldn't be?

"Albus jumped. He'd been so worried about being placed in Slytherin and so anxious for Gryffindor that he hadn't even thought of the other houses."

This was really great. I think I was just as surprised as Albus was when he found out which house he was sorted into. And then to see Lucy already there, we know he isn't alone. I loved how Lucy called him a Weasley, and then he knew exactly what she meant. :)

I'm happy you kept Rose and Albus together. They seem like they'd make a great pair and feed off of the extra security they would get from each other in tight situations. I also loved the little dig Rose threw out about Lucy, which I'm sure will make things interesting in their house. And ah, yes, James is a trouble-maker. This is fun!

Derek seems like an interesting character. I'd be missing technology at his age too. It's nice to see that the general attitude of the wizarding world has changed. But now I'm wondering if there are still some hangers on that may make life difficult for him. Though, it might just be that he's got a steep learning curve ahead of him. One of the things I enjoyed most about reading HP was discovering right along with Harry all the wonderful things about magic with him.

So then after Albus gets sorted and it turns out decent enough, and he's not separated from Rose, his new worry is that he's not smart enough to live up to his new house. Ah, the worries of youth! I'm sure he'll do fine.

This is a lovely start to the story. I don't read enough NextGen where the characters are young and inexperienced. I think that's where most of the magic happens, before they get caught up in 'other stuff'. You wrote the age quite well for my tastes, with everything looking fresh and new, and the general excitement/anxiety of being somewhere away from home. I really enjoyed this!


Author's Response: Thank you SO much for this review. It was really unexpected. And I do intend to catch up on Rabbit Heart. It's funny you reviewed this today, because seeing you'd a new chapter up had just reminded me I still haven't read your last one.

And yeah, while I personally prefer The Rise of the A.W.L. to this, it probably is a good idea to start here, since they do sort of follow on and some things The Rise of the A.W.L. might be harder to understand without having the background.

Oh yes! The wizarding world may have changed by this time, but it'll become increasingly clear across the series that not everybody is completely happy with that.

I'm glad you like the beginning of this story. Hope you continue to enjoy it.

 Report Review

Review #3, by nott theodore The First Night.

20th November 2014:
Hi Margaret! I'm finally here for our review swap (I got caught up in a few unexpected things today, and then when I finally tried to post this my internet cut out, so I'm sorry it's taken me so long!) I've wanted to try and get to this story for a while now and I thought that this was as good a time as any to do it!

I thought that this was such a fantastic start to your story! For some reason, I can't remember ever actually reading a story like this one on the archives, that focuses on the next generation children from the time that they start Hogwarts, and I'm really glad because I was able to enjoy this as if I was reading the books again. Another thing I absolutely loved here was the way that it felt like it fitted in so well with the books - not only does it pick up as soon as we left off with the seventh book, but there's a return to the familiar scene and occasion and that makes me feel kind of nostalgic (if it's possible to feel nostalgia for a fictional world) and I couldn't help smiling straight away. It was also nice to get the sense that we're returning to some of the more innocent aspects of the earlier books with this story, since it's a much safer time.

I really liked the way that you opened this with Albus panicking as the Sorting approached. It makes a lot of sense to me that he'd be so worried - Harry was terrified, and he hadn't grown up with the same amount of expectation. Even though his dad did his best to try and allay his fears, I can imagine Albus being so scared at this point. I thought you did a great job of showing the way that the Sorting seemed to drag on and on for Albus, in his fear, without making it drag on for the reader, too!

Albus's thoughts during the Sorting were very believable and felt in character for him - at least, how I imagine him to be. At this point, we've only got his appearance in the epilogue to go off, so you've got a lot of freedom. I really liked the diversity in names of students that crept in with the first years' names being read out, too - especially the Irish that I spotted in there ;)

I did notice a couple of typos in that first part, though. Nothing major - just 'house' instead of 'hat' a couple of times, and a 'Gryffindor' that's missing the 'R', but if you wanted to edit them out I thought I'd let you know they're there.

Yay! Despite being a proud Gryffie, my head canon for Albus actually puts him in Ravenclaw, so I was really pleased to see him there! I don't know why, but for me he actually fits there better than any other houses. I liked the fact that he hadn't even considered the possibility of any other house but Gryffindor and Slytherin, but I get the feeling he'll definitely fit in with the Ravenclaws! It's great for him that he's got Lucy to help guide him through as well, and that Rose joined him in Ravenclaw. I get the idea that they'll stay really close friends through this story, and I'm glad about that.

Oh my goodness, do you have any idea what you've just done to me with those delicious descriptions of the food at the feast? To be honest, even listing British foods is enough to make me hungry right now, but I thought you really captured the sort of indulgence that I always imagine the start-of-term feast to be. It just seemed so Hogwarts-y to me.

I thought you wrote McGonagall very well here, even if she only made a brief appearance in reminding people of the rules. She seems to have taken a lot of her speech from Dumbledore, but why not when he was such a role model for her?

I liked the way that they all approached the Ravenclaw tower - because it's a different house to the one that Harry was in, I got more of a sense of excitement than I would have done if Albus had been Sorted into Gryffindor, I think. The riddle was really good too (although I found myself hoping that the door knocker is able to distinguish between first and seventh years). The descriptions of everything made me smile - I felt like I was returning to Hogwarts with Albus, and now this is making me question why I've not read more stories like this before, because this is giving me the chance to go back and start over with them!

From what I've seen of them so far, the other boys in Albus's dormitory seem nice! I liked the inclusion of a Muggle-born to remind us more of the sense of wonder and how overwhelming an experience like this can be, especially if you've not grown up expecting it to happen. I think it must have been nice for Albus to talk to someone who didn't know about his father, too.

One other aspect I thought you achieved really well here was capturing these children as characters. They're still only children, quite young at eleven or twelve, but at the same time you haven't written them too young. I find that balance hard to manage, so I'm really impressed by how much these characters seemed to fit in with their age and all we know about them!

This was a really great opening chapter to your story, and I'm hoping I can make it back soon to continue on (since there's plenty more of it to read)!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review. Hope you weren't up too late writing it. *grins*

Yes, while these are mysteries, I'm avoiding major warfare and Dark Lords, because I kind of feel that another war or another Dark Lord's rise would kind of take from the Trio's sacrifices. I like the idea of their having created a safer world for the next generation. So while villains exist in this series and may hurt individuals, there isn't going to be a whole society living in fear.

I tend to stick in Irish characters when I get sick of trying to think up British surnames. And I couldn't imagine Fionnuala being other than Irish or Scottish anyway. I also have a few references to Irish wizarding customs sprinkled here and there. Just for fun.

Have fixed those errors. Leaving out the "r" is rather typical of my spelling patterns.

My immediate thought for Albus was Hufflepuff actually, but I have an older story that predates both Half Blood Prince and Deathly Hallows in which a son of Harry's ends up in Hufflepuff and Albus reminded me a little of that character from the little I saw of him in the epilogue, so I thought if I put him in Hufflepuff, I'd end up basically writing the same character again. So then I thought I could develop a personality for him that worked with Ravenclaw. While you can't really tell from one or two conversations, especially since Albus was clearly in a situation where any child would be a little subdued when we saw him, but he didn't strike me as predominantly courageous or ambitious.

*grins* I remembered to say "bacon" rather than "rashers". To me "bacon" are the thick slices you eat with cabbage, whereas the thin slices you have for breakfast or with chips and sausages are "rashers".

I love next gen. stories because there is so much freedom. We don't know much about the characters' personalities and we certainly don't know what'll happen to them at Hogwarts or how the wizarding world has changed since the war. I've read some next gens. that have investigated how the wizarding world would deal with the advent of 21st century technology. In the '90s, "I'm going to boarding school and there's always a queue for the phone, so I'll probably only be able to write" was perfectly credible. In today's world, with mobile phones and the internet, not so much. I've sort of glossed over that, as my characters aren't particularly connected to the Muggle world and I don't have any good ideas in that way anyway.

The riddles get progressively worse as this series goes on. And I'm still only two terms through their second year! I am rapidly running out of ideas. This one is one of the best, I think.

I'm glad you think my characters are convincing for their age. It is a hard age to write, because they're not really children, not little children, any more, but they're not teenagers either and it can be hard to balance between not making them act like 15 year olds or 8 year olds.

Really glad you liked the opening chapter. Hope you get a chance to read some more and that you enjoy it. I know there is a LOT there. I think of the story as really starting at the end of chapter 4 or in chapter 5. The first three chapters are basically introducing the characters and so on.

Thanks again for the utterly amazing review.

 Report Review

Review #4, by YourFan The First Night.

29th June 2014:
this is the first fanfiction I encountered that Albus was neither sorted into Gryffindor and Slytherine..

I always find it hard or to even think of Albus sorted in Slytherine.. He idolizes his father to much to be sorted in Slytherine..

and Albus being sorted at Revanclaw makes this a very interesting story.. i believe that it is very challenging to go in that direction of the story, but you did it effortlessly, so Congratulations!!

I think that you started the story admiringly :)

Author's Response: I had basically two reasons for having him somewhere other than Gryffindor or Slytherin. The first is that there are more than two houses, which he seemed to forget and I always feel that when a character only considers two houses, unless it's make clear they wouldn't fit the others, they should not end up in either of those two.

Also, from the little we saw of Albus, he did not appear either particularly brave or particularly cunning and ambitious. He seemed quiet, thoughtful, maybe a little insecure (although that may just be about starting a new school), slightly gullible. To be honest, my impression was that the house he'd fit best would be Hufflepuff, but I already wrote a story about Harry having a son in Hufflepuff, so I thought Ravenclaw was the next best fit.

Glad you liked it. Hope you continue to enjoy the story.

 Report Review

Review #5, by Anon The First Night.

14th May 2014:
Well this is certainly awsome. I look forward to more :)

Author's Response: Thanks for the review. Glad you enjoyed it. Hope you like the rest.

 Report Review

Review #6, by Teddy1993 Farewell Slughorn

3rd May 2014:
That was a nice chapter to finish with. I really enjoyed this story, from the very first chapter. Thank you for writing it!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your continued reviews. Always nice to hear what somebody thinks.

 Report Review

Review #7, by Teddy1993 Questions and Answers.

3rd May 2014:
Well, I certainly didn't expect that, but I guess it makes sense if she is family of Nott. I liked the motive you gave her. I can easily see why she would hold a grudge against the Potters and the Malfoys. Great ending to a great story. One more chapter to go and then it's time for the sequel. :)

Author's Response: Glad you like the revelation.

I don't think many people figured it out in advance. A lot of people appear to have been surprised. It's hard for me to tell how obvious things are, because of course, I know which hints are important and which are red herrings.

Hope you enjoy the sequel as much.

 Report Review

Review #8, by Teddy1993 Rose's Plan.

3rd May 2014:
Great chapter. I can't wait to find out how this story ends.

Author's Response: Next chapter now will tell you most things. Glad your enjoying it and hope the ending doesn't disappoint.

 Report Review

Review #9, by Teddy1993 The Destruction of the Universe.

3rd May 2014:
I laughed at that last sentence :D Great job on the Quidditch final. Good job!

Author's Response: Glad I made you laugh.

Wouldn't it be hilarious of Filch had painted the graffiti himself, when he threw such a fit about it?

Thanks for the review.

 Report Review

Review #10, by Teddy1993 Easter.

2nd May 2014:
I may be wrong, but I thought Muggles were able to get onto Platform Nine and Three Quarters? I'm not sure, but I think I remember a part during Snape's memories where Lily's parents and Petunia were there to see Lily off to school. Anyway, it doesn't really matter to the story and it's not really a mistake in canon. Just thought I'd point it out. Great chapter, by the way. I was kind of surprised when Scorpius wrote to Rose. Only four chapters left...

Author's Response: I must check that out about Muggles accessing Platform Nine and Three-Quarters. It's something I'm never entirely sure about. Thanks for pointing it out.

Yeah, only four more chapters and the last is really just a finishing-up sort of thing. You'll find out most of what's going on in Questions and Answers. I say "most" because there is one piece of information that remains to be revealed in chapter 1 of the sequel.

Scorpius is very anxious to find out who damaged him broom. It means a lot to him.

Thanks for your continued reviewing.

 Report Review

Review #11, by Teddy1993 Eleanor Lockhart.

2nd May 2014:
Good chapter. I don't really think Lockhart's niece has anything to do with it, but you never know... Great writing!

Author's Response: Thanks for your review. I LOVE hearing people's theories, partly because it tells me if I'm giving enough information, or too much and partly just because it's fun to see how people who don't know how it's going to end interpret things.

 Report Review

Review #12, by Teddy1993 Piecing the Jigsaw Together.

2nd May 2014:
Great chapter. I'm looking forward to the revelation of the story.

Author's Response: The villain is revealed in the second last chapter, so you've about five chapters to go. *grins* Hope you like it.

Thanks for all the reviews.

 Report Review

Review #13, by Teddy1993 The Malfoy Dynasty.

2nd May 2014:
Scorpius seems to be quite alright, although it's rather clear that he is a Malfoy when you look at his behaviour and the way he talks. Great job!

Author's Response: Thanks for the review. Scorpius doesn't exactly have an easy time, considering the way his family is now viewed.

 Report Review

Review #14, by Teddy1993 The Golden Arrow.

2nd May 2014:
Great chapter. I'm really enjoying the story.

Author's Response: YAY, the 100th review for this story. I've never had a story get into triple figures with reviews before. And yeah, this is the first fanfiction I've posted with 26 chapters, but still. Thank you so much for making it reach 100.

 Report Review

Review #15, by Teddy1993 Hagrid's Memories.

1st May 2014:
I'm usually not a big fan of mystery stories, but I must say that you grabbed my attention with this one. Great work!

Author's Response: *grins* I think one of the most awesome comments one can get on something one wrote is something like "I don't usually like x, but I do like this version". So thank you and I hope you enjoy the rest.

 Report Review

Review #16, by Teddy1993 Return to Hogwarts.

1st May 2014:
The relationship between Albus and Rose strongly reminds me of the relationship between Harry and Hermione. Good chapter!

Author's Response: Thanks for the review.

 Report Review

Review #17, by Teddy1993 Gifts and Games.

1st May 2014:
It seems like James is really hitting puberty. It was great to see all the Weasleys again. Very good chapter. It was chaotic and entertaining, just as a Weasley christmas should be.

Author's Response: Yeah, James is definitely being a young teenager. He'll grow up eventually.

Glad you liked the chapter; thanks again.

 Report Review

Review #18, by Teddy1993 Home for Christmas.

1st May 2014:
Nice chapter. I like how you pictured all of the Potters together. It's pretty much how I imagined them. James being too cool to hug his little sister in public and Albus being more caring and thoughtfull. I loved his idea for his father's christmas present. I'm really enjoying the story so far!

Author's Response: Glad you're enjoying it. It was good craic to be able to write more of a family scene and the relationship between Albus and his siblings and parents.

Glad you liked his dad's Christmas present. The reason he was stuck on it was because I was and I wanted to put off writing it for a while. *laughs* I eventually thought of the fact Hogwarts meant so much to Harry.

 Report Review

Review #19, by Teddy1993 The Empty Inkwell.

1st May 2014:
That was another great chapter. I like that the fact that Albus and Rose were sorted into Ravenclaw supplies a different perspective on Hogwarts. I can understand they would rather go to Flitwick than McGonagall as she can be quite intimidating. You write very well. Good work.

Author's Response: I'm trying to give Flitwick a bit of an increased role here as their Head of House. Hadn't thought of it giving a different perspective on Hogwarts, but I guess it does.

Thanks again for the continued reviews and for saying I write well. I'm grinning as I read this. Hope you continue to enjoy the story.

 Report Review

Review #20, by Teddy1993 What the Portraits Saw.

1st May 2014:
It's clear Albus and Rose inherited the detective gene from their parents. Good chapter!

Author's Response: *grins* Yeah, they really did, didn't they?

 Report Review

Review #21, by Teddy1993 Suspecting Scorpius.

1st May 2014:
Nice chapter. I enjoyed the scenes with Scorpius. It seems like Albus really is a lot like his father. The whole situation made me think of Harry suspecting Draco during their sixth year, although he was right back then. Good story so far!

Author's Response: Yeah, Albus has some traits in common with Harry, but he is rather more cautious and less likely to go rushing into danger. He's also a little more rule-abiding. And since he grew up in a much happier home, he trusts adults more and asks for advice rather than taking things into his own hands.

 Report Review

Review #22, by Teddy1993 The Chamber's Echo.

30th April 2014:
I'm not sure about Scorpius... I always imagined him to be kind of the odd one out in the Malfoy family, not following the ideas of his father and grandfather. But that has probably something to do with reading fanfiction. I'm sure there are also stories where he is a slimy git. Very good chapter. The story is really getting somewhere now and I like where it is going. Great job!

Author's Response: I did a lot of thinking as to how I could write Scorpius in an original way. I've read stories where he is a rival to Albus as Draco is to Harry and I've read stories where he forms a new trio with Rose and Albus, and while both of those can be really good and work really well, I wanted to do something different. I didn't want to subconsciously copy any of the stories I'd read. Now whether that something different involves making him the villain or something different altogether, I'm not going to give away here.

Glad you are continuing to enjoy this.

 Report Review

Review #23, by Teddy1993 Caught Red-Handed.

30th April 2014:
Another great chapter. I laughed at Filch muttering about Mrs Norris the first and the second. I also liked how McGonagall handled the situation. She seems pretty well in character as I remember her from the books.

Author's Response: Glad you found McGonagall in character. As you may have noticed, I write a lot of OCs or really minor characters, like Hesia Jones, where the issue of keeping them in character doesn't arise to the same degree.

And I got a lot of fun out of Filch and his cats. I was debating whether to give him the ghost of Mrs. Norris or whether he should have a new and lazier cat, but eventually decided on the latter.

Thanks again for your continued reviews. They are much appreciated.

 Report Review

Review #24, by Teddy1993 Hallowe'en.

30th April 2014:
I enjoyed reading about the Halloween feast. We didn't really see much of that in the books, mainly because Harry was getting himself in trouble most Halloweens. This was a nice, easy chapter that ended on a sinister note. I'm looking forward to reading the rest of your story!

Author's Response: Yeah, things tended to get rather interrupted in the books, due to the whole Dark Lord trying to kill Harry at all costs thing. While this is a mystery series, it's nowhere near as extreme as the events of the books.

Hope you continue to enjoy the story and thanks for the review. Glad you enjoyed the description of the Hallowe'en feast.

 Report Review

Review #25, by Teddy1993 Ravenclaw v. Gryffindor.

29th April 2014:
I liked the Quidditch game. You wrote it very well. Good story so far.

Author's Response: Really glad you liked my description of the Quidditch game, as I'm not very good at descriptive writing.

Thanks for the review and I hope you enjoy the rest of the story. More is about to happen in a couple of chapters!

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>