Hello, I've come to review some of your oneshots as well :D
And wow, wow, wow! This is just wonderful. I'm going to say it's a pretty amazing story for such a short concise piece of writing. You've captured the voice of the child perfectly. Your attention to detail, the sentences, the simplicity and grace of the language...this is just fantastic writing. And I love the understated tone of this piece; it's not melodramatic at all, and there are things that the adult reader would understand that the child Padma obviously does not...and you've done really well to write these in. Whatever is unsaid in this piece is so beautiful - it really shows a child's attitude to unknowable things like death and life and change.
And the story Padma chose to tell Ravi! That was a brilliant ending. I'm really impressed and touched by this piece. I do hope you write more oneshots; you're really really good at them and I'm so glad that I chose to read this story! Fantastic!Author's Response: I'm really pleasantly surprised that this was the first one-shot of mine you reviewed! It's my only really heavy one-shot, and it was a challenge for me to write!
I'm so glad you think this is detailed and the voice is childlike. I worked really hard on keeping that voice while also having enough emotion in there. So that fact that you picked up on the understated sadness is wonderful!!! And how Padma doesn't understand everything that's happened but can still help her sister. That was really important for me to achieve in this story! Thank you for the brilliant review!
Cassie :) Report Review
I should have read this right when you told me but I didn't have the time and I'm sorry! But this was actually a good surprise because I wasn't quite sure where this was going at first. I think that putting this to another child named Padma was a nice touch and it allowed me to get a better sense of the time and place. Of course, her innocence was refreshing to read as well, especially about her Auntie passing away. It was a good thing I think because alot of kids sort of have that thought that, even though someone is gone, they're with someone they love. The distinction between Padma and Ravi was great as well, I was able to see that they really cared for one another and the ending was too sweet! This had some obvious sad parts of course but I have to say that it left me smiling at the end and that last line made me feel all warm and fuzzy! So excellent job! I didn't catch any grammar things and I really loved the pacing so no worries! :D
I have to actually work on my challenge for this so wish me luck! :D For some reason, Ms. Ginny is giving me some trouble! D': I'll figure her out soon enough!
p.s.: Abandon's second chapter should be up really soon, the queue is actually pretty short this time so look out for that!
GabbieAuthor's Response: Hi Gabbie! It's great to see you as review number 1 on this story!
I'm so glad that you enjoyed this, and liked that I chose Padma to write for! I'm going through a phase where I'm really loving her character and am writing her a lot (she's Darcy's mum in ASOS, so she shows up there and in The Boy with the Blue Hair :D).
I think kids have a really interesting perspective on life, and it's really fascinating, so with things like death, they have such a simple and clear understanding, that even if they don't really know what's happening, they have a really enlightening way of looking at it!
I really enjoyed giving Padma and Parvati another sister that they could look up to.
The ending was really fun for me to write! I knew as soon as I wrote her Auntie's advice for her that I wanted to end with it, too.
I'm so, so glad you enjoyed this! It was a challenge for me to write, but I'm really pleased with how it turned out! Thank you so much for the amazing review!
Cassie :) Report Review
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