I love this.
Murder mysteries are the best and you're such an amazing writer that I'm far too gripped by the end of the chapter.
I just want to continue reading!
I really can't wait to see what's going to happen next.Author's Response: Hey Crescent moon!
I'm pretty nervous about the murder mystery lark because you have to be so subtle, but hopefully your faith in me will be well placed.
Thanks for reviewing! You're awesome :D Report Review
Yay - a new story. I'm a huge fan of cop shows and murder mysteries, so I'm very much looking forward to seeing where you take this. Great first chapterAuthor's Response: JEN! Hey! It's so good to see you! Thanks for a lovely review and hopefully I wont disappoint :) Report Review
Oooh I love mysteries, especially murder mysteries and this is looking good so far ;) Just thought I'd swing by to say that! I'll try and give a better review next chapter :P Also hopefully I'll be logged in by then and also I hope I remember to favourite this when I log in because otherwise I'll forget to check for updates and that would be sad :( Report Review
I am very excited about this--not only is it a wonderful premise, but you made references to both Sherlock and the Borrowers. Please, please keep this up :)Author's Response: Its taken me an AGE to get to writing the next chapter of this, but I'm determined to do get it done very soon. And the borrowers and Sherlock are awesome ;) Report Review
Oooh this was so brilliant, Helen!! All the clues and evidence were put together brilliantly, and I did love a bit of different-POV-ing, even though Cornick and Bennett are so brilliant and I already want to squee about them :3 It was a really clever idea for a murder mystery, and I am very very interested to see where it will all go! :D Report Review
Hello, I'm back again to review another one of your amazing stories.
So this story had me at murder mystery really as I'm a huge fan of anything involving a death or two. That sounds really morbid but I promise it's not.
Anyway, I really liked the start to this story. Vincent and Brandon sound like a great pair and I'm really interested to see how you write Cho's character.
It's really hard to believe that this is only your first time of writing a murder mystery but then again whatever you write turns out to be amazing so I'm not that surprised.
I can't wait to see what's going to happen next, please update as soon as you can. :D Report Review
I always love reading your stories so when I saw a new one had been posted I couldn't wait to read it! I don't normally read Mystery fanfics, but seeing as it's you I decided to give it a go and I haven't been disappointed.
I absolutely adore the description in your first sentence, no wait, scratch that, I love your description all the way through the chapter. Whenever I read your stories I always wish I was good as a writer as you!
They were only a couple of mistakes that I noticed. Some of them were:
who's apparently had a love of Dolls Houses the surpassed the actual space in her flat. (I don't know if this is just me being stupid and not understanding the sentence or whether there is actually a mistake in there, so correct me if I'm wrong!)
We've can talk to the sister this afternoon,
Vincent suspected he'd be hearing in awful lot
There were a few more, so I'd just suggest that you give the chapter a read through and correct those.
I also noticed that there were a couple of words that you repeated a few times. I always struggle with this in my writing, trying to find alternate words for "said" and to be honest I think you have tried to mix things up a bit here by using different words but there were a couple times when you said "pointedly" a few times in the space of a couple of hundred words, and then another time with "muttered". Maybe you want to switch things up so so it's doesn't start to get repetitive, and again a quick read through should fix this.
To be honest those were the only mistakes I found, the rest of the chapter was pretty much the definition of perfect!
Something I always adore about your stories is the wit and humour that always comes with them, and this one is no exception. The part about the wedding especially made me laugh.
So far I think this is a really original story. I actually have no idea how on earth you came up with all this stuff - seriously, are you a genius? It was really clever all that stuff you came up with and I applaud you for that!
Oh, and while I'm here rambling on and on (haha, I'm sure you're going to be getting sick of me by now!) I just want to say that I finished reading The Art of Breathing (again) today and as always it made me cry like an utter baby! But after reading that, and then coming on to read this it's made me notice just how much you've improved and matured as a writer.
And also, just want to say good luck with the Dobbys! I'm determined that you're going to win one this year so you can count on me voting for you in everything you've been nominated for!
Looking forward to seeing what happens next with this story, so make sure you get the next chapter up soon!
By the way, just to let you know this is the longest review I've ever written. No, really, I'm a long review virgin! I have never written a long and (hopefully) constructive review before so if it sucks and is not helpful in anyway I apologise. I hope at least I made you happy at how I gushed on about how much I loved you!
Ok, I'm going now, thanks for being such an amazing writer and making me cry and smile and laugh when I'm reading all your stories. And thank you for making me lose my long review virginity, it had to go at sometime, and hopefully now I'll be able to leave long reviews to others!
P.S If you find this review creepy or weird, don't judge me. It's late / early and I really need to go to sleep! :) Report Review
"who's apparently had a love of Dolls Houses the surpassed the actual space in her flat" - what is this meant to say, or am I just being strange?
"We've can talk to the sister this afternoon" - we, yes?
"Vincent suspected he'd be hearing in awful lot" - an?
"I could all by relevant" - it and be?
"And our Wendy has been buying more Dolls Houses since her sister died" - little confused. Sister isn't dead.
Oh, I feel all critique-y and stuff. And telling you? That's just odd... :P
...Anyway, I loved this so much, Helen! You've already pulled me in, I'm very intrigued. Vincent seems like an interesting character, as does Brandon; I look forward to reading more of them as the story progresses. I don't read many Cho fics, but I'm liking her character in this. She's matured a lot after Hogwarts and Cedric. Still having nightmares; sad.
I can't wait for her to meet Vincent. :)
Brilliant. I love murder mysteries. I suggest just reading through it again, but it's amazing.
Sam. Report Review
I'M BACK MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA
(This review may not be as long this time).
I'm hoping I'm the first reviewer!
I'm really intrigued about this, gdjhdsjvsj I've never read much Murder mystery but every time I do, I love it and it sticks with me forever!
So since it's just a prologue and I already like it, I think this will be one that will stick with me foreverrr!
(No pressure! :p)
I'm really interested about the whole case andI like the way you portrayed Cho in those last few paragraphs, she wasn't whiny like every other single fanfic I've read, so I'm even more intrigued!
Anyway, I can't wait to read the next chapter!
(I apologise for the pathetically shortness of this review, it looks so ugh.)
10/10 :D Report Review
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