Again, you impress me with your writing! :D
I really loved this quote about Luna:
"Childlike in her innocence, elderly in her understanding"
I think that describes her perfectly! Everything you wrote in this story seemed to describe her perfectly! And even though this story was written in the perspective of Neville, it really was about Luna and I really liked that about it!
Good job! Again!Author's Response: Thank you so much! I really enjoyed writing this piece - describing a character from another's perspective just changes the way you see and experience that character, and Luna has always been one of my favourites. I'm glad you enjoyed it, and thanks for reviewing! Report Review
This is nice! I love your first paragraph with the description of Luna (because I love Luna, haha.) I don't know if she'd hurt Neville like that, although it is an interesting idea to have them going out before she meets Rolf (and he marries Hannah Abbott.) Personally, I'd think they'd just kind of drift apart and realized they're better off as friends, but that's just my opinion.
Your writing was very good, and I enjoyed this little fic. :)Author's Response: Thanks! There's nothing in the canon that says what happened with them (or that they were together at all) so this is just my headcanon of what happened. There are endless possibilities, of course, and this is just my exploration of one of them :) Glad you enjoyed it! Report Review
Hi, it's Molly from the forums, here with your requested review.
Oh my goodness, I am in love with this piece. So, so, so in love with it, it's not even funny.
The prose was gorgeous, the descriptions were absolutely divine, and oh, your characterization of Luna was spot on. I definitely think this style works as you wrote it seamlessly, pulling it off rather effortlessly, if I do say so myself.
Now for the specific things you asked me to touch upon:
Flow - it was very natural and organic. It didn't seem forced and the transitions were really great. It had a very whimsical quality to it. In some ways, it reminded of a poem. Every paragraph, every word, had a purpose and a subtle beauty to it.
Clarity - I understood everything that I read. There were no moments where I was scratching my head and wondering what was going on. Of course, there were moments where I was thinking 'Oh, I want more of this! Give me more happy moments, darn it!', which, of course, is hardly a bad thing. The way you wrote their relationship was very true to canon, I feel.
As for my overall impression, well, you can call me a fan of this. It was absolutely gorgeous. Like I said, I really loved the description, from the passage of their relationship to this lovely bit:
"She was like the wind – not a wild wind, just a gentle breeze that you barely noticed except for its gentle caress against your skin. She spoke in whispers and danced through the treetops, and while she was there she was beauty, tranquility, life. But you couldn’t keep the wind."
The last line in particular struck me. Your description of Luna is probably one of the most accurate ones I've encountered on this website, so hats off to you, dear.
I hope you continue writing in this vein because you very obviously have a knack for it. This was simply superb! Definitely feel free to come back and request more reviews from me.
- MollyAuthor's Response: I don't know how to respond to this. I have no words, really.
Firstly, thank you so much. I've never had a review quite like this one before, and it means so much to have pulled off this style of writing as I've felt recently like I've lost my touch. I am proud of this piece, but to hear someone else's impression of it is another thing entirely, as I'm sure you know.
I don't feel like I'm able to respond to this review coherently, so bear with me. I don't write Luna much at all, because I find her behaviour and manner of speaking is very hard to pin down and portray accurately. Viewing her through Neville's eyes made that easier, and I think allows for a more honest view of the character than what I could pull off just writing about her myself.
As I said before, I am proud of this piece, but knowing that others think highly of it as well makes all the difference. I will certainly experiment with this style more often, and thank you so much - not only for the review but for helping me believe in my writing (excuse the cheesiness.) Report Review
*sniffle* :( aww, Luna and Neville 4-Ever! I truly think that JK was just shooting random stuff off when she mentioned Luna with Rolf, and I am a Neville/Luna shipper forever. I was excited when I saw that this was a N/L story, and although it's not my kinda ending I thought it was absolutely wonderful! You are an incredible writer, you conveyed the emotions in this one-shot so well, that I really felt what poor Neville was feeling. At first I thought I was reading about he after effects of dear Luna passing away, that's how sad Neville read to me. But I did like how in the end accepted that he couldn't offer her the type of life she was made for. Neville was always alot more grounded than flightly Luna, but that's why I felt that they levelled each other out to a perfect state. But here I am a-rambling.
All-in-all I enjoyed this greatly! Thanks for requesting my reveiw, I am mostly just so happy to discover new authors and stories to read!
~AdeleShareAuthor's Response: I'm also a Neville/Luna shipper, so I wanted to work out in my head exactly how the canon pairings for the both of them happened while still including that ship :P I feel I might be slightly misleading with the labelling of the story as it's not really a Neville/Luna so much as a 'Neville gets used to life without Luna' story, but that's not one of the pairing options :P
The story is, ultimately, about acceptance. I ship Neville/Luna a lot, but at the same time I like sticking to the canon, and this is my way of combining the two. That, and I wanted to write something about moving on because I don't see a lot of that on the archives.
I'm glad you enjoyed it, and thanks again for reviewing! Report Review
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