Reading Reviews for Abandon
113 Reviews Found

Review #1, by AlecJamesCaius_ Then and Now

12th October 2015:
Hey there! So I've arrived at the final part of our swap (so far). It sure was interesting to me. I wonder how the story will continue now after their fight, since Benjamin seems to be the main focus of this story so far. I'm not quite sure what the plotline is thus far.

I saw your review responses and I immediately felt bad :/ I suffer from over-honesty and I've gotten into fights over it more than once. Seriously, I wouldn't be surprised if people don't want reviews from me anymore in a few months.

Anyways, the people on this site are extremely nice and that's kinda an understatement. They're so nice sometimes I can't help but finding it creepy. Like, a girl could post a status update saying she broke a nail sad smiley and in a few hours there would be several comments like ":hugs: :hugs: :hugs:" and "stay strong" and "you know you can always PM if you need to talk, darling"
But when you heavily critique their work, they can become quite nasty. More than once have I upset people with my reviews (although I've never said anything for the sake of being negative or without valid arguments) but they usually get very defensive and angry with me when I do so.

You're about the first one to actually put the fault with yourself instead of me, and I find this both adorable and heartbreaking because I don't really think this is all too much YOUR fault. As I said, the James/OC stereotype is ALL OVER this site and what can I say, you women dig it.

Its almost like, to you women, its a form of porn, to read about an intimidating douche and a submissive, normal girl. Because in these novels, and in this one too, things can get quite erotic and reading it I couldn't help but cringe a few times.

Well, they DO say sex is far more emotional and contextual for women than for men. That may explain it?

Anyways, I don't think you necessarily failed in any department. You wrote a story that plenty of women will enjoy, after all. That's good. And it can be a learning experience, since you now realize you (unintentionally) created a walking stereotype. Next time you can focus more on making your man lead more unique? If you want to of course.

And I also read your blog post! Since we were already coincidentally talking about racism before your blog post, I wanted to answer to it here. I feel for you a 100%. I've come across extreme ignorance on the internet, and racism here is definitely mostly pointed at black people. And, for some reason, even MORE at black women. Which is ridiculous.

Its just all so stupid. Example: Extreme curviness and big lips have been common in black women since ages. But it only became popular since white women started having it. I've ALWAYS liked features like this and I don't see why the color of something should have so much affect. Its nothing physical, it literally holds no importance.

And yet, when black women are addressed, its always the "light skinned" ones. Loads of my friends also think this way. However, whenever I show them a really pretty dark skinned women they're totally surprised. Its like they don't know they exist. They obviously do, but because dark skins never get any attention nobody knows of them. Anyways, from what I've gathered from our conversations you're cute,smart, you've got fun interests(AoT is awesome), you're not afraid to speak your mind and with such an inside alone you're already beautiful! And I'm willing to bet you're even more gorgeous on the outside, so don't ever worry about such stuff ❤

So, the review...

I haven't mentioned it before, but I really like all your flashbacks so far. The children are all really cute and the story is the funniest in the flashbacks, in my opinion.

I didn't quite get the turn around from lovey-dovey to punching-each-other-in-the-genitalia. It was like Ben suddenly got angry for no particular reason. It felt odd. I also felt slightly underwhelmed at the fight scene. Actually, I hadn't expect any less from our douche bag Ben. I however WAS surprised they had sex, Roxanne is 15 with a much younger mental age, so you had me there. I wonder where the story will go now, after their fight?

I wish Roxanne was real so I could tell her "I bloody told you so!" :p I hope Roxanne meets a nice guy and Ben gets hit by a truck.

I'm starting to get into the story. One thing I haven't mentioned yet is that you write very well, very descriptive with little grammar or punctuation mistakes. I read quickly & easily when I read your story.

I'd be up to continue our swap, just let me know if you want to! :D

Thanks for the swap and hopefully till next time!


Author's Response: Hey, there!

I am really sorry that you felt bad about my response to your reviews. I actually feel not too confident about the characters, particularly Ben at the moment but I don't really let that stop me from writing. Every experience is a learning one and I was so young when I wrote this (It's about two or three years old I think?) and I don't think that I'll change what I've written because as Dean Koontz says, you're never the same person as you were when you write at a certain age. I figure that I'll look back at this and be proud of how much my writing has evolved.

I'm honestly not a mean person by nature and I could have never been rude to you because of your opinion. Now, a few things you said made me cringe a bit and I did get a little aggravated but I'm not going to unleash my sass on a reviewer. I have in the past and regretted it but those reviewers had been kind of rude and my sarcasm is cherry flavored.

Anyway, I'm not so sure that the James (I never write him this way but that's mostly because he's still eleven in my universe)/OC can really be the fault of women either. I've read quite a few stories with men that feature this same kind of stereotype and there are a few women in novels that make me go, "Hmm...okay, miss thing." But I'm not really in the mood to go into that right now, it's a 50/50 thing and while I'll be the first person to own up to my mistakes, I'm not going to beat myself over the head with them either. It's just not who I am.

Honestly, I need to get to answering this review but if you wanted to talk more about my blog post, feel free to PM me.

Okay, here we go!

My favorite part of writing this story is actually the flashbacks. A lot of the story focuses on Benjamin and Roxanne and for the most part, it's about her growing up. He of course is a part of her life so a majority of the chapters feature him but when I wrote this originally (It was called Growth) I jumped right into the main plot and my characters weren't really developed. Anyway, Ben actually DID get angry for a reason and I know how much you hate him but he was making a point when it came to Roxanne. She never thinks anything through and he of course has insecurities about being with her because of his family. He should have just said so, in my opinion but there you go.

The fight originally was worse than it turned out to be but I had to remember that Roxanne was a girl and while Ben may SEEM like the type to physically harm a woman, he isn't. Draco would beat the tar out of him and if you read on, you'll see that his mother practically raised him alone so Ben didn't grow up having a skewed opinion of women. It makes his behavior now all the more tragic though.

The story from this point will have a lot of Roxanne coming to grips with the fact that Ben has changed, with the major plot of this thrown in. It's pretty angsty for a while but you get to meet new characters and Draco around chapter nine.

I'd totally want to continue our swap, I'll have to get to your three reviews today. You can dig back into this whenever you want!

Thanks for the swap!

Much love,


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Review #2, by Unicorn_Charm Benjamin Fredrick Malfoy

12th October 2015:
Hey Gabbie!! :)

I really don't think I like Benjamin at all. He seems so toxic. Roxanne is sweet and really pretty innocent (at least, it seems like she is) and he has this dangerous and dark vibe about him. That's probably some of the attraction I guess. But I don't like how he talks to her or treats her. It's very manipulative. I kind of want to shake her and tell her to stay away.

My heart broke for Roxanne in that flashback. I can't believe that kids were that cruel to her. It's too bad that James or Fred didn't know what those kids said to her. I'm sure they would have made them really regret it. ;) I guess Benjamin was kind enough to her there. But still, there was the condescending attitude towards her there. I don't know how to explain it, but it feels more sinister and more cruel than him just being part of the Malfoy family. I wonder who his birth parents were/are? Maybe he's some sort of descendant of Voldemort's and that's why he's kind of creepy/scary/manipulative?

I'm very much intrigued by that little snippet between Draco and Ben. So they both disappeared together? What happened?! (I know you can't tell me, but I'm still horribly curious) Whatever did happen felt like it was something big.

I like your Draco. He still feels like Draco, but you can see that he's changed; matured. I like that he's trying to atone for what he has done in he past.

I'm really dying to know what Benjamin's story is. He's an intriguing character. Very dark, mysterious and eerily charming. Roxanne certainly seemed to have fallen under his spell. She's totally helpless around him. Even when she starts to hold her own, she ends up faltering. The poor girl has got it bad. :p

I'm loving this story a lot! I can't wait to read on!! Thanks for doing this swap with me and I'm sorry for taking forever with my reviews. I ended up with a stomach bug, I think. I've felt horrible all day. :( I'll get them done asap though!

Much love,
Meg ♥

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Review #3, by AlecJamesCaius_ What the Heart Wants

11th October 2015:
Hiya! Alec again !

You said you appreciate my honesty, a couple of chapters ago. I sure do hope that's gonna still be the case after this review haha... Basically, I'm going to rant a bit about sexual assault in general and in relation to this story. No harm/offense intended, please say so if you even in the slightest feel offended and I'll never go on a rant in your reviews again.

So yeah, they kissed. *Insert several curse words here.*
I can't say I'm surprised. Heck, I would have been surprised if they DIDN'T kiss with all that sexual tension between them. However, there's one thing that I slightly touched on in a previous review, but I'm gonna elaborate on now.

Its funny, I quickly spitted through the reviews on this chapter and I don't think I saw anyone write something about sexual assault on here. As I've said before, this website is occupied 99% by women.
I'm pretty sure I can count all male writers on this site that I know on one hand, everybody else that I know on this site is female. I don't have a problem with that but its rather amusing to me, this issue.

So Benjamin kissed Roxanne (with her slightly annoying "what do you think you're doing?"s in between them. Like, god, I think its pretty obvious that he knows what he thinks he's doing. He's snogging the merlin out of you, that's what. And what did Roxanne hope to achieve with asking that question anyway?) But my issue comes when Roxanne seriously tries to push Benjamin away but he, convinced she's completely into him, just keeps and keeps going. Until it reaches a point where she just gives her self over. Until she just gives up.
What's more, later in the chapter he demands a sexual deed before giving her her jacket back. But nope, everybody in the reviews seems to be fine with that.

" “W…why did you do that?” Roxanne managed to ask, hating that her voice sounded so disturbingly husky.

Benjamin was still holding her, content to skim his lips along her throat and when she shivered, a smile started to form. Her pulse was rapid and she heard his own breathing steadying, “Maybe you shouldn’t wear such short skirts and have your breasts hanging out.” " Nope, no one complaining. As if a girls clothes determine a mans actions. And this comment, like the many other disgusting comments Ben has already made in these first 5 chapters regarding Roxanne, is just tossed aside. Roxanne doesn't even get all too mad. She never really gets angry with him. She just takes it all... She seems like the type of girl who could easily fall in an abusive relationship, especially with Ben.

I hate how Roxanne's "asking for it" (hate that phrase) by always letting Ben do with her whatever he wants like a lifeless marionet, by wearing clothes that accentuate her butt and breasts that already have been described as big (which means she knows it draws a lot of attention) and then goes on to continuously push him away. For one, us guys always have to make the first move and girls like this frustrate me to no end.

Good guys, at least, would never wanna sexually assault a girl. But if you really like a girl and she's constanty giving you a green light and as you get close she gives you the red light but as soon as you walk away she gives you the green light again... Ugh that really messes with our minds. I'm saying beforehand that I'm not meaning to justify sexual assault and rape because rape is a very conscious decision, but a lot of things women create themselves.

Let your yes be yes and your no no. Pleasee.

Because although its VERY wrong to commit sexual assault, in some cases I can see where the sexual assaulter was coming from. A lot of men think women see it as a game, they see 50 shades of grey and James/OC-like stories like this which women generally drool over and they start to think women don't really mean no when they say no -- that its just a game. They start to think that, although they see they don't want it, they actually do because people always see what they WANT to see (just take Fudge as the perfect HP example).

It happens a lot. Look at primarily Eastern erotica and pornography (e.g. Hentai) the girl always acts like she doesn't want it and then it turns out she does. I truly believe we're brainwashing ourselves here. You've got the remember the intelligence of the average person and then remember that half of all people are even more stupid than that.

With books like 50 shades of grey (again, DEVOURED by women) and Twilight I fear we're contributing to this female-abusive rape culture. And your badboy Ben is one of thousands :/

Why'd ya think guys all act like gits? Because women dig gits like this bloke, for god knows why. You're creating your own problem. And I'm in fear of losing sympathy for when some female hearts get broken, when they contribute to it themselves.

This was not directed at you, it was directed at basically all women because nearly all women are like you (at least in this regard). Heck, 50 shades became one of the biggest bestsellers of all time, even out classing HP, and it was all abusiveness, domination and submissive perversion through and through. Don't play with fire and don't expect to get burnt, they say. What's Roxanne's limit? How far can Ben go, because now it seems like there are no limits for both of them. Again, if you get sexual asaulted/raped its NEVER your fault. But the events leading up to it can have negatively impacted your odds.

How embarrassing would it be if it turned out I completely misunderstood all of this :p

Sorry for the rant. I do like the story, it has some fun and interesting things in it and amazing characterization haha. On to the next one!


Author's Response: Hello!

Well, I just made a bit of a goof! My response to chapter four is actually meant for this one so I'm going to touch on a few things that you mentioned there in this response. Hahaha. Sorry about that!

I haven't forgotten about our swap though so no worries about anything! I totally understand being busy too, I've been going through a lot so reviewing the way I want has had to be put on the back burner.

Hahah, I'm glad that you think I'm funny though! The entire thing about my mum making me cry is actually true though. She's so darn mean sometimes! Hahahaha. I am kind of annoying though and I like picking on her.

I wasn't chunky growing up but I was really shy so when I started going through puberty, it was just not fun for me. Hahahah.

AoT is fantastic but you know that scene when Eren's squad gets eaten? That part when Thomas gets nommed on actually gave me nightmares. It messed me up so bad that every time I see someone die in a crazy way, I just scream: "ThOMAS!" cause...nightmares and such.

Anyhoo, on to this actual review!

I don't understand why more people don't talk about race on the archives. I don't think that that sort of hate just goes away, even in the Wizarding world but a lot of authors are really uncomfortable talking about it. Roxanne is biracial, she considers herself Black and I'm sure that there's been more ignorance turned her way than people like to think. I'm a black woman myself so it always puzzles me when people don't bring that up or whitewash her character. Roxanne by nature is actually very sweet but she has her father's temper and because her mother doesn't like fighting, that's probably why she came off as kind of a push over.

Benjamin is pushing six feet (I think he might be the same height as you, actually. 5'11'' maybe?) in my mind and Roxanne is about five foot seven. That doesn't make much sense, considering what she said but it was probably an exaggeration on her part.

Roxanne is really insecure so her entire thing about feeling jealous over Ben's girlfriends and not being good enough for him is just part of who she is at the moment. I mean, she's a great girl but she's kind of carried a flame for Ben for YEARS so bear with me.

Ben is a git. That doesn't necessarily change and I am so sorry. :( He does indeed fit the stereotype though and because he's a prat, he actually does make fun of that (And me) but commenting about it later. I think he says, "I'm an irresistible stereotype" to someone later on and I just had to accept my mistake with his characterization. I am glad though that you were able to find them real people, that's always what I'm going for when I write and if I can't suck you guys in with my plot, I try to give you characters that feel like someone you would actually meet.

I shall see you again!

Much love,


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Review #4, by AlecJamesCaius_ Benjamin Fredrick Malfoy

11th October 2015:
Surprise!!! I'm here for our second 3 chapter review swap! :D

I'm sorry its been a while but you know how it is... School has begun and I've been busy with just rl, friends, family, sport, and doing nothing at all, of course. I couldn't forget our swap though! I can understand if you forget haha, but anyways; I just read your review reponses to my review and you are HILARIOUS.

"I'm a grown woman but I still watch cartoons and cry when my mum's mean to me" You cracked me up with that one, and also you just seem ADORABLE :')
I also found the line "I wasn't nearly as cute though and my curves dominated my existence" amusing. I can't imagine what that must've been like ahaha.
It made me feel bad that I haven't answered your reviews yet, but my unanswered reviews count stands at 33 now and if I answered yours I have to answer them all and I just don't have the motivation for that atm :/ I'm not all too active on this site. But I'll answer them eventually, I promise!

Also, I think its too cute that you find AoT to be "nightmare fuel". Although perhaps its just that internet has ruined me and I don't have a soul anymore... Who knows?

Anyways, I should get on with the review, shouldn't I?

It was a long chapter but it had some very good parts in it.
I liked how you included discrimination based on race in this. The original HP books were always a lot like a fairy tale, in that racial and religious discrimination did not seem to exist in the magical world. Instead, JKR showed us a that racism can exist in different forms, and that its always bad (with the pureblood non pureblood struggle, of course)

However, its stupid to think that 'normal' racism doesn't exist in the magical world because racism simply HAS to exist with the way humans are. I was glad that Roxanne punched that girl in the face, before this she looked like she didn't have all too much of a strong will and could not stand up for herself (since she allows Ben to treat her so badly) but she luckily posseses the notorious Weasley anger we all know and love.

Since Roxanne said Ben's twice her size, It made me wonder: How tall are the both of them?
(I know she was most likely exaggerating but still).
With myself clocking at about 5,11/5,10 knowing the heights of characters I can imagine myself next to them, which I like to do, for some reason :p It makes them come to life more, for me.

As for the huge amount of Benjamin, he's still as much a git as ever. To me, Roxanne pretty much seems like all you could ask for in a girl, and he constantly mistreats her and his cocky derrière just doesn't severe her.

I hate how he's so imposing to her, I just mentally smh when Roxanne gets all insecure about herself and how she's just 'one of the many' girls Benjamin has been with.
The fact that she ACTUALLY feels she's not good enough for HIM, that she's jealous of Benjamin's girlfriends, makes me just want to punch him square in the bloody face.

And he sure does complete the James/OC stereotype: besides being a huge cocky douche he's a huge player as well. I have to say, Roxanne's continuous blushing gets a little annoying, to me. Its like, if she were laying on her belly on a beach and a feather would drop on her behind, she would turn bright scarlet. She blushes as a reaction to ANYTHING involving Ben in some way, it seems. It kinda takes away the effect its supposed to have when you write that a character blushes, when you use it so often. All of this is just my opinion, though. Your characterization is royally on point though. These 2 characters FEEL alive, like they could just walk out of the screen. Well done!

I know this was long but I personally enjoy long detailed reviews the most and I hope you do too! If not, feel free to inform me so I know!

Next review up soon!


Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you so much for coming back to this story and it's great to see you again. I'm going to answer this review right away because I was really concerned after reading the entire thing. I also haven't forgotten about our three part review either, I'll most likely start on that later today. I was planning on writing today but eh...

So. There was quite a lot to say about this chapter and I'm not sure if I'll be able to touch on everything so feel free to PM me later if you want. Okay. I have re-read all of these chapters and I've already mentioned that I'm not exactly thrilled with how I've depicted Ben or Roxanne. The purpose of these early chapters though is to highlight how immature and insecure Roxanne really is because this entire story is a coming of age type thing with some Quidditch thrown in. Her insecurities and faults are high lighted and even exaggerated because I wanted to really make a point when it came to staying true to who you need to be instead of trying to be who you think you should be. If that makes any sense?

Anyway, my entire thing with this situation between Benjamin and Roxanne has obvious flaws and I'm not put off by your opinion on it or anything like that. I'm not pleased with how he's written in this early chapters at all but the entire thing here was meant to just be a "hopeless attraction" type thing. I haven't really gotten into it just yet in the story because I'm lazy but Roxanne and Benjamin have been leading up to this particular moment for a long time. It didn't come across very well and I should have made a point of that while I was writing but the flashbacks later on will hint at what MAY have been if Benjamin had never left. He was also a different person back then so the flashbacks will also kind of show that but anyway! Roxanne, I think is still just very young emotionally so a lot of things that she experiences here are too much for her all at once. The kissing (She'd never really been kissed like this before, let alone sex) and cat and mouse game is beyond her understanding. I could go on and on about this issue and some of the other things that you've said but I don't think I'd be able to squeeze it all in. You can PM me though or stop by my MTA because I love leaving chunky answers about it.

Now, when it comes to sexual assault, that's not at all what I was trying to imply for this scene. I'm not sure what this may mean for us as a society but I've read quite a few stories with the women pushing the man away in a moment of passion. I'm not going to justify it or anything but I feel like I didn't write these scenes as well as I should have. I am really just not happy right now about it but I tried to clean this up later on, around chapter...twenty or so. Roxanne and Ben actually split around then and re-reading those scenes shows that they changed quite a bit.


Thanks for your review!

Much love,


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Review #5, by Pixileanin Benjamin Fredrick Malfoy

27th September 2015:
"She had thought about him so constantly that she had nearly forsaken all of her studies, ignored her family to stay locked in her room and worried that she would probably never see his tall, dark shape again, “I didn’t think about you at all.” Somehow, her voice managed to sound both pathetically squeaky and wistful."

This. This right here. This is what I would have liked a hint to in that first chapter. I wouldn't have needed to know the who or any of the details, but just the fact that she had gotten over, or had thought she had gotten over something in her past that allowed her to finally enjoy the family gathering without people needing to be concerned for her... that sort of thing. So when the twist happens at the end, it means something deeper to her character.

Okay, with that out of the way, I think you did a fantastic job of heightening the mystery of why the Malfoy boys had to hightail it out of Britain for a while and what it did to their family. Benjamin feels guilt and hurt, even though he tries to hide it and play up that he's unaffected to Roxanne, and I liked seeing that kind of vulnerability in him. It also explains why Roxanne can see another side of him than most other people and why she continues to trust him enough to carry on with him.

I won't comment on the kiss other than acknowledge that it happened and you know, squee... or whatever. I'm still not happy with Benjamin's attitude, no matter what else is going on. He's ingenuine on one side, and a complete prat on the other side, so even though Roxanne feels sorry for him and there's this hot factor going on that she can't control, I'd demand more honesty from a so-called friend who's abandoned me for a year without so much as an owl, no matter how tight-chested he is.

So, um. Good job for getting a reaction out of me. That means that the writing is still solid, and the undercurrent of a plot is starting to unfold, which makes my little plotty heart very happy.

I'll try to return later for more, RL willing and the creek don't rise...


Author's Response: Hello!

You've made a great point about that quote that I should have used for the first chapter. I should have given more information about Roxanne's relationship with Benjamin but oh, my youth was on me then. I wouldn't make the same mistake if I were writing this now.

I tried to hint what had happened to Benjamin and his father without giving it all away but I think you would be able to figure it out if you re-read it. Benjamin doesn't have a lot of moments when he's vulnerable but they do happen, more so in the flashbacks. I think that he only shows that side to Roxanne because of their history together and because despite what he may want, he can trust her. Roxanne sees the potential in everyone, she's a lot like her mother in that aspect and just LIKE her mother, she's going to cry a lot because of it. I am a horrible person...

Bwhahaha. IF you honestly don't want to continue reading this, I understand. I think that you may like Audrey Tang a lot better than this, I won't say A Force of Wills because no one wants to be cuddling up with Draco Malfoy and his ickiness. Eh.



Thanks so much for these reviews though, you're fantastic. :D I will stop by Rabbit Heart soon because I miss that Bunny.

Why did that sound so dirty?

Much love,


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Review #6, by Pixileanin Stealth and Lies

27th September 2015:
“She’s a nice girl and you’re just…” she thought about it and he raised his brows, which were as black as the rest of his hair, so black that it reminded her of midnight, “There isn’t even a word for what you are.”

I feel this right here. Whatever happened in the past, it made Roxanne trust this crazy person a whole lot more than she should right now. It's obvious they had something going on, and her physical reaction to him is alarming.

"He was watching her intently from the other side, a blurred shape of muscle and lines, “I don’t want to lose you either,” she whispered under her breath and without hesitating another moment, she took his hand and let him pull her through."

Nooo. I generally scream in the direction of your characters. Sigh. Okay, so nothing much happened here except that Roxanne snuck out and Benjamin is still giving me the creeps. Dom's right. She needs to be more careful. I'm now getting this possessive vibe from Benjamin that I really, really don't like.

I know this wasn't much of a review besides getting all screamy with your characters, but that's all I have to say right now. I anticipate some finger shaking in the next chapter, so let's get on with that.


Author's Response: Hello!

Welcome back! People usually comment on that line from Roxanne, which is exactly how I was feeling about Benjamin at this point. I honestly don't really go into detail about what happened between them in the past, which is the failure of epic fails on my part as the author BUT it was a pretty bad falling out. I think Roxanne is too busy lamenting over the fact that she missed him and her hurt feelings to have better judgment right now.

SCREAM! SCREAM! You'll hate me by chapter six and if you don't want to read anymore of this story because of it, I understand. I am seriously reconsidering how I've written these characters and Benjamin in particular.almost to the point where I want to go back and change him. Drastically.


Thanks again!

Much love,


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Review #7, by Pixileanin Yes and No

27th September 2015:
This is bad. Benjamin is bad. Bad bad Benjamin. I don't like him at all, and I wish that Roxanne would have the sense to not be so curious about what he's been up to, but then there'd be no story here so...

I really don't know who this guy thinks he's trying to impress, just being that rude to someone he obviously wants to spend time with. Roxanne seems like a complete pushover here, and I sincerely hope that's not how she turns out to be.

Compared to the first chapter, this one was intensely in the moment, even with the flashback. It was contained and focused, and well-rounded in content. Nice work here.


Author's Response: HELLO!

Benjamin is bad. You have every right to hate him and honestly, I really hate the way that I wrote him in these early chapters. I don't know what I was thinking, really and I tried to make up for it in later chapters but the damage has been done.

This story is mostly about Roxanne growing up and learning to be herself SO the whole thing about her being naive, a pushover and immature are done on purpose. I honestly don't try to write characters that you guys automatically like because that's no fun. I mean, Teddy Lupin in my story Transparent is a horrible person but people love him for some reason. What does that say about me?! What does that say about everyone else?! *Flips table*

Anyway, thanks for liking the flashback! There are actually far too many of them later on but eh...

Much love,


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Review #8, by Pixileanin Strangers and Fireworks

27th September 2015:
Hello Gabbie!

I have finally slogged through the RL mud to throw myself at your feet for being so late. But here I am now, and I'm reading this story, Abandon.

Hey, hey, but it's all these Weasley/Potters all over the place. I always found it intimidating to write a ton of people in a scene like this. You managed to show everyone's personality through their actions, and how Roxanne related to them, which was good characterization and setup. I also liked that you included some not-so-common things in the mix, like the twins being held back TWICE for seventh year. It's weird, but I never thought of it like that. I had often wondered if they'd just be kicked out of school, like, "Nope, you're out. Just go and sweep floors or something." But it's cool that they get second, and sometimes third chances. It will make the mix of ages interesting for that year.

Roxanne's dad telling her that her OWLS didn't matter so much was also an interesting detail. I like that he has this attitude that life isn't all about how you did in school, that there are bigger things than test scores. In that way, I agree with him. It's nice to see some parents who aren't putting pressure on their kids to excel. Kids will do what they do, and at some point, the parents just have to sit back and let them be who they are. Within reason. Which I'm betting that Roxanne's dad doesn't have a ton of. Hmm.

One thing that threw me out of this chapter a bit was all the short paragraphs that were descriptive in their own right, but didn't connect as well to the next thought. I think that if you ever go back and edit this, you might want to consider flow more closely. I had this same issue with my older novel. It was written in this choppy, broken style, and I didn't know what to do with it until I had written more words. It read almost like Roxanne was taking little snapshots of the people around her in her mind.

So then this mysterious Benjamin appears, obviously not in a place where he should be, obviously not invited to the party, and from what you told us, he's someone that Roxanne "used" to be close to. And he sounds a bit cackly too. Of all the things that Roxanne thinks about during the party, this guy never once entered her thoughts, so I had no reference to how she should react to him here. I think you're going to get into that in the next chapter, but generally, if there's a twist to the end of a chapter, there should be a hint of why it's twisty, somewhere within the chapter itself. Was she avoiding someone, or was she deliberately trying not to think about going back to school because something happened between her and her best friend (or you don't even have to bring up who, or what, but just a general feeling of unease towards school, or maybe just that she had to get over some disappointment and this year would be different...) ? You know, that sort of hint in her character so we have a bit of context when you present the twist.

Your writing certainly did get my curiosity up, so I need the next chapter, if only to answer my own questions. :)



Author's Response: Hello!

I certainly wasn't expecting to see these reviews today but what a nice surprise! I feel like I should have had you read something else on my AP but now that we've got this started, let me dig right into this. :D

I really, really don't like writing a lot of characters all in one place. I think that it's really difficult and when it comes to the Weasleys and Potters, there are just SO many of them and it gets confusing. I don't think that I've done this again because it took so long for me to get right but I made a few mistakes here and there too. You know, I figured that the twins wouldn't be allowed back to Hogwarts after flunking twice but for some reason, that thought never came back to me until after this chapter had been up there for a while. I kind of think that they would have to take their classes back home or something but I'm not sure how that would work. Hm...

I didn't really delve that much into this but George isn't really very strict with either of his children. I think that he's just the sort of parent that likes to take things easy and later on, he doesn't even discipline Roxanne or Perce (Fred) because he doesn't like being that "mean parent". Angelina is the one who takes care of all of that stuff and I think that says a lot about the way their family is and their relationship as a couple. BUT that doesn't really get into this story until chapter six or so.

I think this is the fourth story that I posted up or the second but either way, my style has changed a lot since this. It's nowhere near perfect or anything but when I look back at these older chapters, I cringe a little. Well, a lot. I cringe a whole bunch.

You know, the whole thing about Roxanne not really thinking about Benjamin through this chapter didn't hit me until after this was posted. A year later. When I was too lazy to go in an update it. It would have made more sense for her to have him on her mind but that scene always gives people a little jolt, I think. Eh.

Thanks for this!

Much love,


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Review #9, by AlecJamesCaius_ Stealth and Lies

25th September 2015:
Final part of the swap!

Basically, in this chapter Roxanne snuck out with Ben. The story didn't really progress much but there was soms nice characterization.

One thing that baffles me about girls came up in this chapter. We see this funny little scene in which Roxanne observes her body in the mirror, and although she isn't all too happy about her stomach (which I'm pretty sure looks just fine in reality) she DOES go out of her way to accentuate her curves... For Benjamin. And then, later, when Benjamin looks at her body, she gets angry and embarrassed. Its like 99% girls on this site so I'm in the minority here, but where's the logic in this??? And this is common girl behavior.

Sure, Benjamin looked at her body pretty bluntly but still. Its the same when a girl wears pants with words on the behind but gets mad when someone looks. Idk.

Benjamin still comes of as a unsympathetic creep. Roxanne is incredibly naive, but I'm kinda hoping some second GOOD guy will appear in this story, and Roxanne will fall for that guy instead of Benjamin. Regardless, you've kept the tension. I'm still wondering what's going to happen next.

Well this was our swap! Feel free to contact me if you want to do another one /continue with this one :)


Author's Response: Hello!

Welcome back and thanks for this awesome swap, I would totally like to continue this. I'm eager to learn how you feel about what happens later on, you've been refreshingly honest. I appreciate that, which is why I always slither over to Tidal Dragon's review thread because he usually is very blunt but incredibly helpful.

Anyhoo, I am not really fond of this chapter or the one after it. I'm not sure why but they never really worked out the way I wanted them to. Eh.

I'm going to be pretty honest with you here: I don't know anything about girls and considering that I'm a grown woman who still likes to watch cartoons and cries when my mum is mean to me, I can only explain so much. What people fail to understand sometimes about Roxanne is that she is only fifteen. I think I had someone comment on this later but they were kind of like, "Why isn't she doing this or saying that and why does she think like this?" and I had to politely explain that she WAS just a teen and not that mature. Her immaturity is actually something that I toyed around with a lot, she's supposed to come off as naive and self-conscious because that was exactly how I was growing up. I wasn't nearly that cute though and my curves dominated my existence. Hahaha.

Anyhoo, I think it is strange that Roxanne wants to be SO mature and sexy but is so offended when someone checks her out. Such a strange thing.

Welp, you might get your wish for that second guy around chapter eight or nine. I really want to continue this swap because I seriously think that you'll tear it apart--I am eager to know what your reaction will be. Hehehehe.

Thanks for the swap!

Much love,


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Review #10, by AlecJamesCaius_ Yes and No

25th September 2015:
Hiya! Next review! This one is going to be a lot longer because I just have more to say;p

I liked the flashback, in the first chapter I didn't quite grasp Roxanne's character as much as in this one. She is incredibly nice -- like, on another level nice. Ben is mean but he undoubtedly has his reasons. Draco seems to have changed drastically.
Anyways, I do dislike Benjamin so far. This seems to fit the typical James/OC stereotype for me. You have the MC (in this case canon) who doesn't want to fancy the love interest but no matter how hard she tries, she just can't resist his incredible "charm" "good looks" and especially. "badboyishness).

Personally, I'm not a big fan of James/OC type fics that follow this stereotype, because, except for that its always the same and you know what to expect, I hate how (some) girls are so incredibly attracted to bad boys. In this case as well, regardless of what reasonings Ben may have for his behavior, he was acting like your right git in this chapter. Especially his comment about Roxanne's breasts didn't sit right with me -- don't misunderstand, I'm a bloke and I'm all for big breasts -- but what he said was just very rude. I found him to be borderline sexual harassing in general, in this chapter. Of course, you could argue he knew Roxanne likes him, but if a girl continuously pushes you away and tells you to stop, you just stop, regardless of the situation. After all, you can't read minds and you could be interpretating her feelings wrong.
Its funny, Ben kinda reminds me of another JKR character, however this one is not in the HP-universe. I'm talking about Fats, from A Casual Vacancy. I'm reading it right now and I think its great -- you should read it too if you haven't already.
Anyways, poor poor shy,insecure,naive Roxanne. She seems like a truly amazing girl, I wish better for her than that arrogant git of a Benjamin ;p

I'll swallow all my words if his back story ends up making up for his behavior though! Dom was really cute by the way! So she's taller than Victoire? But Victore is supposed to be in her 20ies at this point... Dom is described as very young. Is Victoire abnormally short...? This part was a bit confusing.

Again, amazing contrast with my Dom, who is pretty much the opposite of your Dom. I wonder what will happen next Gabs, you've got me really excited! :D I just KNOW you've got all kinds of interesting stuff -- twists and turns and all that-- in store for me! Characterization truly is one of your strong points, it seems!

P.S. I forgot to mention it in my previous review, but I think its so cool you read Attack on Titan! :D I've only seen season 1 of the anime though but I thought it was great. I'm an anime lover too :)

See ya on the next one!


Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you so much for stopping by and giving me these great reviews. I'm actually happy that you had more to say for this chapter because I honestly have quite a bit to say as well but we'll get to that. :D

I have no idea why I decided to include the flashbacks in this particular story. It was originally put up about a year or two ago called "Growth" and it just never really took off. When I started this version, I thought that it would be an interesting contrast to show how Roxanne has changed and the contrasts between the past and present. If you keep reading, you'll see that the events in the past kind of foreshadow events that happen in the current chapter. Anyway, Roxie is actually a very sweet little girl. I think that she's a lot like her father in that regard but the thing with Benjamin is that you're right, he has reasons for being the way he is. I can't spoil it for you just now though because it kind of made my readers upset when they learned the truth later on.

Ah, Benjamin. There are quite a few people who loathe him. Like, seriously hate him. I didn't intend for him to be that way because I was trying to go for the "mysterious bad boy" cliche but now that I look back on it, I would really change his character. This story is a bit old now and the current chapters have evolved a lot so when I look back on these older chapters, I wince a little. I've tried to soften Benjamin up in later chapters but in all honesty--I'm kind of embarrassed about how he's been written. I'm personally a fan of the bad boy cliche, which is why I like writing characters like this so much. (Check out Teddy Lupin in my story Transparent if you want to know more about that. Yeesh.)

Anyway, Benjamin does have a side of him that I'm not too keen on. I would probably go back and drastically change his character if I had the time but for right now, I'm just trying to focus on getting this story finished. I think that Roxanne is attracted to Benjamin because she's known him for so long and considers him a friend no matter what happened in the past BUT the entire thing about him intimidating her a little kind of makes me cringe. I'm not proud of that at all. Hahaha. It's nice to get a man's perspective on this though because the lovely ladies who have reviewed this story kind of skimp over that.

Warning: You will not like Benjamin by Chapter six. You will want to hit me. You are allowed to send me an angry PM about it.

About Dominique: Dom is taller than Victoire, I don't know why I pictured her that way but I thought it would be neat that she towered over her sister in height but was so shy. Anyway, the thing about the ages in this story isn't canon or what we know as canon when it comes to the grandkids. Dom is sixteen in this story, Victoire is eighteen, Roxanne is fifteen, Teddy Lupin is almost twenty and God help me if I remember how old the rest of them are.

All of my stories are interlinked so if you had wanted to go in order, you would do it this way:

A Force of Wills

This is Angelina

This is Audrey Tang: The Bad Taste



Albus Potter and the Dark Lord's Prince.

P.S.: I am a HUGE anime nerd and I love Attack on Titan! Nightmare fuel for sure but it's pure bliss. The second season is going to be coming out next year! I'm so excited! *Fangirls*

Much love,

Gabbie >:)

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Review #11, by AlecJamesCaius_ Strangers and Fireworks

25th September 2015:
Hey, doing my part of the swap! I didn't have much time to properly sit down and r&r your story the last couple of days until now. I hope you don't mind.

So we have Roxanne as our MC here. She goes to one of, I suspect the many, party/reunions of the Weasley's and I think it was done well. Its a nice touch how George made his workplace like the Burrow :) Its funny to see the contrasts between your story and mine and how we imagine characters differently! Benjamin was interesting at the end, his back story could end up being crazy. What did he do to Roxanne? I'm excited to see what the next chapter brings!


Author's Response: Hello!

For some reason, I completely missed this first review for Abandon. Here I am with your response!

I tried to start this story somewhere else but for some reason, the fact that everyone was there for a family gathering felt better. I wanted to have Roxanne introduced as a very loved person and I'm happy that it turned out okay because writing so many Weasley's and Potters was hard. I cried a little...

Hahah. I try to reference the HP books as often as I can. I don't know why the joke shop would resemble the Burrow after a while but it just does in my head. George and Lee have a bad habit of blowing things up... I also love the contrasts between your story and mine! It's so much fun!

Oh, Benjamin. You find out all you need later and you left wonderful critique on him too. :D

Thanks for stopping by!

Much love,


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Review #12, by alicia and anne Strangers and Fireworks

25th September 2015:
Hello! I am finally here! (stupid life deciding to throw everything at me at once *rolls eyes*) But I am excited to start reading and reviewing this!

You're right, not many people do like writing Roxanne stories, so I'm glad that we both have so that we can do this review swap, much like with our Percy/Audrey's :D (I really need to catch up on that)

Haha I can just imagine that a lot of George's inventions try to turn the Burrow into mush. I love that he's done so much to his home to make it resemble The Burrow :D That makes me really happy to know, as well as knowing that Angelina helps give ideas as well with Lee and Alicia.

Wow, that is awesome that Fred's middle name is Percival, that's in honour to Percy right? I love that so much!

Hahaha she has totally got George wrapped around her little finger! :D

Fred and Roxanne have a really great bond as siblings, and I think it's brilliant that they have that instead of fighting all the time, it's obvious to tell how much they mean to each other.


All this dancing is making me happy, and I can imagine them all dancing wildly to the music. They're the best family ever! And the way that the cousins act with each other is fantastic, and shows a brilliant family dynamic.

:O Is there going to be a dance off between Audrey and George? I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!

EURGH! Who is this man in the shed and pushing boxes around? He sounds like a creep! :O A MALFOY!

NO! How could you end it there? I need to know more!

Absolutely wonderful first chapter! I can't wait to read more and see what's happened between her and Benjamin. :D

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for dropping by and no worries about being late or whatever. Real life sometimes gets in the way and I'm just glad that you showed up with this awesome review! :D

I think that it's a shame that people don't write Roxanne. She's a really great character to get into but I'm afraid that it just doesn't happen very often and it's really sad. We should swap with our Percy/Audrey stories again sometime!

I'm not sure why the joke shop ended up being another version of the Burrow but I couldn't get it out of my mind. Hahaha. George has no restraint when it comes to his inventions and Angelina is no better because she usually helps him.

Yep. Fred's full name is Frederick Percival Weasley II but try saying that five times fast, eh? It's an honor of both Fred and Percy and I get all fuzzy thinking about it. :3

Roxanne is a daddy's girl through and through.

I think that Roxanne and Perce (She never calls him Fred) have a good relationship too. They argue but there's that underlining bit of love there too. :D


I'm all for family dynamics!

Audrey won the dance off!

Benjamin Malfoy in your shed is a bad thing!

I hope you stop by again!

Thanks a ton!

Much love,


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Review #13, by carry on with your knitting Strangers and Fireworks

23rd September 2015:
Gabbie! :)

I'm here for our review swap! :D Sorry it's late!

I think you may have me hooked on another of your stories...

I loved how easily this chapter flowed and how you included all of the members of the family and their friends, pointing out just enough about each character for the reader to get to know them :) I also loved that they all linked to your other stories! e.g. the mention of Audrey dancing like a stripper, I loved that reference! And teddy trying to make someone cry, it's typical of the way you write him! So that was a lovely touch :)

The atmosphere of the party you created was just so lovely and homely like a proper family party! It kind of reminded me of my family a little which was nice :) and I kinda wish I could have been there, it sound just so friendly and banter filled and perfect! :D

Okay now onto the creepy shed bit... So I loved the idea that she wanted some time to herself to find a quiet stop, I think we all get like that from time to time and I know I often go off and get away from everything at parties :) I loved that she seemed as fascinated with the muggle things as her grandfather, it must have been passed down to her! :) But Benjamin... that was so freaky and scary! I can already tell I probably won't like him, he seems like a very dodgy character indeed, especially trying to scare a young girl like that! Is he older then her? Because I saw you mentioned she was 15 nearly 16, but he was described as older I thought?

It was another great start to a story! I just love your descriptions, it was brilliant as always! :D

Much Love!
Katie :)

Author's Response: HELLO!

Thanks for leaving me this great review and reading most of my stories. That really means a lot to me! I hope I see you around more often in the future! :D

I tried to include all of the members of Roxanne's family but it was really tough! I am not really good with writing so many people all at once but I'm glad that it turned out okay. I think I mentioned it before but all of my stories are interlinked but if you ahd wanted to try them out in order, they go like this:

A Force of Wills

This is Angelina


This is Audrey Tang: The Bad Taste

That Night

At Midnight





Albus Potter and the Dark Lord's Prince. :D

I wanted this party to feel like a real family gathering. I have never been to an anniversary but I know that they're a lot of fun from what I've been told!

Oh, that shed. Benjamin was hiding in there for a while and for some reason, people always get really creeped out by that. I do make it seem like she's in danger though so it's my fault. Hahaha. You won't like Benjamin. I'm just going to be honest. Hahahaha.

Benjamin is seventeen, he'll be eighteen by the time this story is finished. Hahaha.

Thanks for stopping by!

Much love,


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Review #14, by Unicorn_Charm Stealth and Lies

11th August 2015:
Hey Gabbie!!

Number 100 (I hope no one snuck in while I'm writing this :p) yay!!! *throws confetti*

I think I kind of hate Benjamin. Like, I want to grab Roxanne and shake her and tell her, "He's no good! Run away! Run away now!" I think Dom was totally right and he is a bit creepy. Not to mention condescending, rude, smug and mean. Bah! Bad Roxanne. Get out. Get out now!

I really love Roxanne. She seems like such a smart girl, which is why I'm so mad at her for putting up with Benjamin's crap. I'm glad she doesn't [i]completely[/i] take it, though. She does snap at him quite a bit, which is good. She's not letting him totally walk all over her.

I want to know what he did to her! These little snippets of what he said about her the year before are KILLING me! What happened, Gabbie?! Why was he gone for a year? Did they have a falling out? Did he humiliate her in front of the school? What happened?!?

Once again I thought she was adorable. When she was getting ready to sneak out and all of her little insecurities. I just want to tell her, you're beautiful. Stop it! And the whole stuffing clothes under the covers thing haha. I'm sure that's something her father and Fred pulled at least once in their lives. I have a feeling she's going to get caught. Molly lived through Fred and George. There really isn't much that you can put past her, I'm sure. :)

I need more. I need to read more. I have to know what exactly is/was going on between them. It's such an interesting (but not exactly healthy, it seems) dynamic between Roxanne and Benjamin. There's something really shady about him and I'm dying to find out what it is!

Great chapter once again my dear! I'll be back. You're stuck with me now! Mwahahaha! :p

xoxo Meg

Author's Response: HELLO!

Thanks for the great review, I've been meaning to reply to this for ages but real life kind of grabbed me by the hair and dragged me away. ;__;

Thanks for being number 100! *Sobs*

Bwhahah, there are quite a few people who really hate Benjamin. There are a few others out there who are kind of in love with him so it's that cliche about bad boys showing its ugly head. I do agree though that in these early chapters, he does come across as being kind of a jerk and that's my fault. I should have softened him a bit but in the end, it worked out the way I wanted because by chapter six, Roxanne is going to be regretting her decision not to run away too. Hhehehehhe.

I'm glad that you like Roxanne though. I tried to make sure out to be just like an ordinary girl, she's not like the others on my AP (Thank God) so it was nice to get back into a fifteen year old girl's mind for a while. Well, Roxanne has known Ben since she was about ten years old so she knows how to stand up to him. I just don't think she knows what to DO with him, you know?

I never quite say what Benjamin did to Roxanne. I do mention it a lot in later chapters and through flashbacks but I'll get to it eventually. Hahaha.

Hahahaha, awww! Roxanne has a lot of normal insecurities about her body and her personality but isn't she loveable? Like, you just want to squish her. I'm pretty sure the sneaking out thing was something she inherited from her father. Well, maybe Angelina too. Hahahaha.

I hope you stop by again! It was great seeing you here with this review!

Much love,


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Review #15, by Unicorn_Charm Yes and No

11th August 2015:
Hi Gabbie! Finally here for our swap!

I'm so thrilled that you asked for one, because I've totally been meaning to get back to this story. I really love it so far. Your writing is just wonderful and such a pleasure to read. I adore your characterization of Roxanne. I love that she's not a carbon copy of her parents. She really feels like her own person.

I am DYING to know more back story between Roxanne and Benjamin!! He seems to affect her so much and I can't wait to see the reasons why. She seems almost entranced by him, yet terrified at the same time. It's like those old stories about vampires (not the ones that sparkle, real ones :p).

That flashback, from when they were small, was cute, I thought. Roxanne seemed like such a sweet girl and wanted to make a friend, no matter what his last name might be. I like that Draco was not only shopping at WWW, but was perfectly polite to her, even those Benjamin wasn't so much. She was just adorable; I wanted to hug her haha. You can definitely sense, even then, that Benjamin is/was trouble. He's got that bad boy vibe to him.

Things got a little heavy in that shed, didn't they? I'm seriously dying to know more about their relationship! Was it just a friendship? Was there a little more? Was it ever a full blown romance thing? Gah! You can tell there is a lot between them, and definitely not all good. I'm so intrigued! I mean, Dominique was certainly not happy to see him, which even more makes me wonder what in the world happened!

I'm definitely going to be back. I need to know if she goes with him. I can't not know. I have to know!

Great chapter and really great story so far! Thanks for sharing and I'll be back soon!! Thanks for the swap!! *hugs*

xoxo Meg

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you so much for stopping by and this review is just the sweetest. I don't think anyone has said such nice things about this story in a while! I really wonder what you'll say to me after chapter six though. You may not like me so much after that. Hahahaha.


I think that a lot of people are eager to know more about Ben and Roxie. I never really clear it up much though for some reason, you're left wondering through flashbacks if they almost but not quite got together. Hahahha. I'm not sure what it is about Benjamin but he seems to have people lust/hate him most of the time.

I think that Roxie's feelings for him are so complicated because she's known him for so long. It's a mixture of attraction, denial and fear--kind of like how you notice that person in your group of friends has gotten hot and you don't like it. Hahahahah.

There are quite a few flashbacks that show and give more detail to Roxanne's relationship with Benjamin. She's a very sweet girl though, isn't she? I like the idea of Draco shopping WWW too, though I'm not sure if I can imagine him playing with the toys.

I think that you might have a different opinion of Benjamin when you get to the next flashback. He has a reason for acting so mean and I think that you would like him a tad more for it. Benjamin is only eleven or twelve though, so you have to cut him some slack in the flashbacks. Just a little though.

Hmmm, things DO get very heavy in the shed but we're not quite sure what that means! Are they a couple? Are they enemies? Not all of their past is good but it makes you wonder. Dominique is wise beyond her years, though you don't really get much on why for some reason. Hahahah.

Thanks for the review!

Much love,


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Review #16, by Unicorn_Charm Strangers and Fireworks

11th July 2015:
Hey Gabbie! I'm here for our swap!

Yeah, I know what you mean. I've also seen you around the forums and the archives but haven't really been by your AP. I'm quite sad that I haven't been before now, because I absolutely loved this. :)

I haven't had a Next-Gen immediately suck me in like this in a little while now, so this was completely refreshing. I really, really love Roxanne. I know she's a daddy's girl and says she's spoiled, but she's not a brat. At least she's not coming off as one yet. Who knows what the future chapters hold? :)

I do think it's completely realistic that George would deal with his grief by spoiling his children and being more friend than parent to them as well. You could absolutely see that Roxanne and George have a very loose relationship as father and daughter. She speaks to him like he's a peer, and same with him regarding her. One part that it really showed was when George was trying to convince Rose to stick a spider down Ron's shirt (which that whole thing had me literally laughing out loud) and she came over and scolded him for it.

The way you introduced all of the characters was basically flawless. With the Next-Gen there are SO many Weasleys/Potters to start showing and you did it without it all becoming overwhelming. You managed to give a brief little snippet or mention of almost all of them, yet it didn't feel like you were just listing characters. There were bits of their personalities shown in each description, which really keeps you engaged. It was so beautifully done!

I enjoyed the little wink from canon that you threw in with Angelina's dancing. GoF her and Fred's dancing was described as almost potentially hazardous to those around them, and it was funny to see that brought about here with her and Albus. And the comments made about how she might harm him haha. Loved it! :D

Roxanne and Perce(Fred)'s relationship is really cute. They have that nice balance of picking on one another and truly caring for the other. It was an entirely realistic brother/sister dynamic. It wasn't over done at all.

The plot is intriguing. I'm definitely interested in this adoptive son of Malfoy's and to see what he has to do with Roxanne and how he came to be a Malfoy at all. The reaction she had to him was very mixed, so that had me needing to read on for sure!

Overall I thought this was a fantastic opening chapter of what looks like will be an awesome story! I've put this on my reading list. I will with out a doubt be back to continue on!! Thanks so much for the swap!! I'm so thrilled I had a chance to read this. ♥

xoxo Meg

Author's Response: HELLO!

Thank you so much for this great review, I certainly didn't expect you to give this a shot but you've made me so happy! :D

I really love Roxanne too and I adore Next Gen. Sadly, we don't see her character being the main voice for stories on the archives very often. It's strange, because she's great! I think that she's a bit spoiled as well but I'm not sure if she's a brat until much later. Actually, it's Benjamin that kind of tells her that she is and it doesn't go well for him. Hahaha.

You know, I didn't think about that point with George. I know that grief can take many forms and spoiling his children is actually a great way to bring that up, I never even considered that! I do think that him spoiling the kids is going to backfire on him though and he does seem like he's more friend than father. I figure that Angelina would be more forceful with the kids if she had to be, I can't picture George doing that for some reason.

I really, really don't like having a lot of characters in one scene! All those Weasley's are hard to write! I tried to weave through them all as easily as I could and I'm glad that you liked it. You'll see Lucy, Molly, Dom, Victoire and a few others more in future chapters but for right now, just knowing who they are right now helps.

Angelina is a horrible dancer and thank you! That WAS a nod to GoF, which is my favorite HP book! :D

Roxanne and Perce are really cute together, I'm glad that they came across as real siblings.

Oooh, I wish that you would keep reading if you wanted to learn more about Benjamin Malfoy! Roxanne's mixed feelings for him will become clear in the next three chapters but by then, you may not like him so much. ;)

Thanks again!

Much love,


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Review #17, by ms simone Pressure

1st June 2015:
roxanne does feel something for ben, not sure what!! adam like her, she should get him... cool that rox thinking the intership in potion!!

Author's Response: HellO!

Thanks for stopping by again, its been a while! I'm not sure if Roxie is going to go for Adam or not but we shall see. I kind of have an idea for the next chapter so you'll just have to stay tuned.

Much love,


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Review #18, by ms simone Poison

1st June 2015:
an interesting scene between roxanne and ben!!

Author's Response: Hello!

Oh, there will be many more. I promise you that things aren't over between them just yet!

Much love,


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Review #19, by ms simone The Ultimate Quidditch Royale

1st June 2015:
cool- to see another major sport event at hogwart, after what years ago.

Author's Response: Hello!

It's been a long time since anything like this has happened at Hogwarts. I do hope that I'll make it interesting to read!

Much love,


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Review #20, by CassiePotter Pressure

30th May 2015:
I'm back again, and am caught up with another one of your stories!
I thought the beginning of this chapter was hilarious, but I felt kind of bad for Roxie. Georgia and Leanne were so funny in the way that they were pining after Benjamin, and the guys' reactions made it even better. Perce getting all huffy and jealous was funny to read, and you could really tell that Teddy is like Roxie's older brother from the way he was acting whenever the talked about her and Ben.
I was so surprised when Blaise Zabini himself made and appearance and was actually almost happy! I think it's great for Roxanne that they want her to do the internship. I hope that it works out!
And they talked about the changes in Teddy, too. I still think that it has something to do with Dom!
The end really caught me off guard! I really didn't expect Roxie to respond to Adam the way she did! I thought she would reject him, but she's actually giving him a chance! I'm not sure how I feel about it, though... And Ben saw them, which can't end well!
This chapter was really great, and I'm so excited for more! Especially the Quidditch Royale. Great job, Gabbie!
Cassie :)

Author's Response: HellO!

Thanks for stopping by with another lovely review. It means a lot, I don't too many of these for this story so this always makes me feel better!

I had a lot of fun writing the beginning of this chapter and Roxie's reactions were really great. She was going through so much emotionally that it kind of heightened everyone's reaction to Benjamin. The twins really enjoyed teasing the boys and I think Perce was about to boil over with anger. Hahaha.

Teddy considers Roxie his sister so he's very overprotective. He's carrying a secret as well though so he can't quite judge her too harshly but you'll find out what I mean later. Hehehehe.

Blaise Zabini DID make an appearance in this story! You know how much I adore him and while he has gone through a lot in Albus Potter and the Dark Lord's Prince, he's had some time to heal. I think it's been good for him but anyway, Roxanne may get a chance at that internship if she takes a shot at it.

Teddy's change has a lot to do with Dom but since Transparent is still going, it might be a while before you find out exactly what happened between them. :3

Hahah, I don't think a lot of people expected Roxanne to settle on Adam. I think that she was weighing her options and oh, how unlucky was it that Ben happened to see them? I did that on purpose to propel you all into the next chapter and while it doesn't end well, you'll probably understand why.

Or something like that.

Thanks so much for the review!

Much love,


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Review #21, by CassiePotter Antidote

29th May 2015:
Oh, man. Oh. man. This chapter was so packed with emotions!
I loved that Roxie and Adam got some time together. Even though Adam wants to be with her, and Roxanne doesn't feel the same way about him, they're still really close friends, and I think it's important for her to have someone to talk to, even if she isn't always completely honest with him. But I really liked that Adam let Roxie know where he stood in the whole situation, and told her how she felt, so there's at least one thing in her life that she doesn't have to be confused about.
I loved the second part of this chapter when Teddy, Perce, and the twins joined them! The dynamic of that group is always so interesting to read! I thought the tension between Teddy and Leanne really added to it. And Dom showed up again! It's fascinating seeing her and Teddy interact without knowing exactly what their deal is, especially since I'm also reading Transparent.
And Ben showed up again! I'm surprised he went to far as to use pet names for Roxanne and actually touch her when other people were around. But things are definitely really, really intense between them. Again, I have no idea how they're going to eventually forgive each other and be happy!
This chapter was a long one, but worth it. I hope there are more group scenes like the end of the chapter, and can't wait to find out more about the Quidditch Royale, as well! Great job, Gabbie!
Cassie :)

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you so much for stopping by again, Cassie! It's great to see that you're still with me on this.

I honestly have no idea why this chapter turned out to be so long but I couldn't get all that I wanted if it had been shorter. Hahah. Anyway, Roxie and Adam needed this moment alone together. We've seen her with Ben and her friends but I hadn't developed their relationship much. I wanted to show that Adam wasn't just interested in her because he had a one-sided crush, he actually appreciates her as a friend. I also wanted to hint what would happen in "Pressure" too, Roxie's thoughts about Adam shifted from this point on.

Now, what she'll do about it is what I can't wait to write. Hehehehe...

Anyhoo, yes! I LOVE writing Teddy and the gang together. They've all grown up together so they know each other well, so writing their dynamics was fun but challenging.

Oh, Dom. I'm afraid you won't find out what's going on with her and Teddy until way later. It's not what you think but if I finish Transparent before that's revealed, you'll understand why she's avoiding him.

Hahah, Ben. I think that he enjoys toying with people a little too much. He doesn't care about what Perce or the others think either, if he wants Roxanne, he'd take her. Hahaha. I think he wanted to make her realize that things aren't over with them yet and you know how he is, he likes stirring the pot too. Perce's reaction was what he wanted to make fun of.

Things aren't over between Roxie and Ben, I'm just getting started. Hehehehe.

Thanks so much for the review!

Much love,


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Review #22, by CassiePotter Poison

27th May 2015:
Hello! I'm back again!
So this chapter was quite the intense one! Whenever Ben and Roxanne are alone together, I always get nervous that one of their fights will get really out of hand. Luckily, they usually end before anything too horrible happens. But I always feel really bad for Roxie after she and Ben fight. The downside of knowing each other so well is that they each know what to say to the other to get under their skin. Ben knows exactly how to push her buttons, so it seems like they never make any progress in their relationship after talking.
Ben got really scary towards the middle of the chapter! Since Roxie physically couldn't get away from him, I was really worried that this fight would get really bad! But then she got out of his grip, and Adam found them.
I'm really curious to see how their relationship develops from here. Since Roxie said it's definitely over, and seems like she doesn't want to talk to Ben again for a very, very long time, I have no clue how they'll forgive each other and eventually get together! I guess I'll have to wait and find out!
Great job on this chapter, Gabbie! Only a few more and I'll be all caught up on this story, too!
Cassie :)

Author's Response: Hello!

It's good to see you back reading "Abandon", I missed you! I always love writing Roxanne and Benjamin but I wince a little whenever they start fighting. They can't be in a scene without snarling at each other but I would never have Ben laying a hand on her or vice versa. The thing about them is that they still love each other but don't want to admit it and knowing so much about a person can be dangerous, especially when you're not in control of your emotions.

I think Ben is far scarier than Roxanne when he's pushed to the limit. Roxie has a bad habit of running away from her problems and he wasn't going to let her go this time but in the end, they both lost something in this fight.

Ah, Adam to the rescue! Roxie is finished with Ben for sure but her relationship with Adam is going to develop pretty slowly, I'm not sure what will happen to them but it's not going to be an easy road. Ben isn't out of the picture yet!

Thanks for stopping by! :D

Much love,


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Review #23, by CassiePotter The Ultimate Quidditch Royale

25th May 2015:
Hi Gabbie! I decided to get back into Abandon since I'm caught up with some of your other stuff!
I forgot that Teddy was at Hogwarts! But since he's there, that means there has to be some trouble that he's involved in... Does this story take place after Transparent? Because, if so, that would explain his interest in Dominique!
They announce the Ultimate Quidditch Royale! Woohoo! I can't wait for some of the foreign students to arrive! I'm so curious to see how you write all the new characters, and how they'll interact with the Hogwarts students. I thought Adam's line about Americans was hilarious!
And what an interesting choice of Head Boy and Girl! We knew Ben was Head Boy already, but I don't think you'd mentioned that Samantha Travers was Head Girl... Interesting that McGonagall picked two Slytherins.
I'm really excited for more of this, and I'll try and come back soon!
Cassie :)

Author's Response: Hello!

It's good to see you back reading some of this story! I kind of doubted that I was going in the right direction with it for a while. There's much less Roxie/Ben interaction after this chapter (Well, after the next chapter, I should say) and it hasn't been received well. Hahahah. T-T

Anyway, Teddy is here! I thought that you would enjoy seeing him again. This story actually takes place a year after Transparent so yes, you're correct in assuming that his interest in Dominique has something to do with what happened back then. I shall not give anything away! ;)

Yesss, the Royale has been announced! I haven't really gotten into the details of what the foreign schools will be like but they'll give the Hogwarts kids some very good gossip for a while. Hahaha. This story was originally my version of Goblet of Fire and with all the Roxie/Ben stuff, I kind of forgot all about that. Hahahaha.

Oh, Americans... (Says the American)

I have never mentioned the Head Girl until right now but her name is actually a mistake. Her name is actually Rachel Travers, Samantha is her mother (You know, from A Force of Wills) so that was a fail on my part. Too many characters, man!

Anyway, thanks for the review!

Much love,


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Review #24, by Ray Pressure

14th May 2015:
Love the direction Roxanne/Adam have taken. Haha can't wait to see how Benjamin reacts :) Can't wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for magically appearing for this chapter, I hope to see you again soon!

Much love,


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Review #25, by merlins beard Strangers and Fireworks

4th May 2015:
Hi there.
Sorry it took me forever to get to your story.
I'm glad I finally made it.

I really like Roxy's POV. It's something that isn't written very often.
I think Roxy's brother is taking things a little too far teasing Molly all the time.

I always pictured Angelina to be the voice of Reason for George, not the bad influence, but -to my surprise- it works to see her as crazy as George.

I like the similarities George's flat has to the Burrow.

Benjamin Malfoy is a very interesting character. I hope we'll get to know more about his background story in the next few chapters. I can't wait to find out where he's been, and why Roxy is reacts so apprehensive to his reappearance.

This was great to read so far

Author's Response: Hello!

It's all right that it took you a minute to get back to me! No worries about that at all. There aren't a lot of stories that feature Roxanne as a main character or even an influential character and that's a real shame. I tried to make her relatable and I'm glad that you liked her.

Angelina and George are a little wild but she does manage him well. I think that they balance one another out nicely, she can get him to stop doing the craziest things and pull him out of depression as well. I don't really think that I mention that much in this story but it might be hinted at in later chapters.

Hahaha, I can't imagine WWW without picturing the Burrow for some reason.

Ah, Benjamin. You're going to be seeing a lot of him in the next few chapters and I'm not sure if you'll like him by the end of the sixth one. Hehehehe.

Thanks so much!

Much love,


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