Hi, it's your requested review calling for duty!
I love how Al says 'my Flick' he could have easily said 'Flick Saunders' but no, he still loves her its obvious, yayayay. The way he says it with a hint of sadness, this is because he is with Hattie now but seeing Flick made him realise that he still loves her- is this right?
Where you have written 'Please god don't let Albus Potter know legilimens it should either be 'Please god don't let Albus Potter be a legilimens' or 'Please god don't let Albus Potter know legilimency.'
I like how Tess rescued Flick from the awkward situation with Al. I would like to think my brother would do the same in a similar situation but in reality he probably wouldn't.
I love how happy Al is because Flick is coming back to Hogwarts. I can him having an internal party and then just remembering that he is going out with Hattie and internally kicking himself for it because he is going to miss his chance to get back together with Flick.
I really like 'Cookie' the new addition to the Saunders family, I don't know why but I like to think that Birdie and Gingernut would take Cookie under their wings and look after him/her.
I also like how you used the flashback, it really set the scene for how the situation began. This was a very nice and well written chapter.
Feel free to re-request,
Beth :)

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Hi it's your requested reviewer again!
So lets start with a little confession. Truth is I have already read your story so I know what happens (so far) etc. so I actually know who the father is but to any other reader it is a good use of suspense.
She is a generally relateable character with things like not being able do sleep because it was too hot and the way she acts with Gingernut, it is almost as if Gingernut is her child as well. I really like the ironically named cat Birdy.
I like how Flick still wants to do everything for Bentley and Aubri despite her family being there to help she doesn't want to rely on them too much and it gives her character more depth.
I like how Bentley had most of his breakfast on his face and Aubri had the bowl on her head, it's very funny and gives a lighthearted atmosphere so a difficult problem because it is inevitable that at some point Flick will have to tell the father and her friends.
I don't really like how Flick seems slightly ashamed of thee twins- I get that it is because she doesn't want the others to find out but I think it would really help her if she told people sooner rather than later because people are going to be more betrayed to think that she waited this long to tell them.
I liked this chapter! Feel free to re-request but only one or two chapters at a time please.
Beth :)

Author's Response: Hey,

That's fine :)

Gingernut is like a third child, her dad got her for him shortly before she told him she was pregnant.

Because Flick thinks it's partly her fault she got pregnant and because they've helped her out quite a lot by looking after the twins when she had to study or do exams she feels/knows they're her responsibility.

Flick sort of knows the repercussions that will happen the longer she leaves.

Will do!

Thank you!!
-Potterfan310
Soph :)

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Hi, it's your requested reviewer.
In the first little bit, it is good that you are describing things but it all seems like stating facts without much justification. For example where it says 'I love my room and I love the view' you could change it slightly so it is more like 'I loved my room especially as it had the most amazing view of...' etc.
The usage of the word 'grizzly' it might just be me but it doesn't sound like the right kind of word to describe a baby.
I really liked the chapter image and the point about Aubri trying to eat Flick's cardigan. It is cute and makes things more realistic.
I really liked the fact that in the flash back she made it quite clear that she wanted to continue with her education and that she eventually gets a tutor. This makes it a lot more realistic.
Surely her friends would be a bit more suspicious of her cover story, her grades may have been bad but surely they can't have been bad enough that her friends believed she had to drop out. Also surely the fact that she didn't reply to the letters would just make them even more suspicious of her cover story?
This is a really good start, it has good flow and I like the fact she is getting a second chance and is getting to return to Hogwarts. I like the characterisation of Flick, it already seems just from what I have seen that by having Aubri and Bentley it has made Flick grow up and become more mature.
Beth :)

Author's Response: Hey,

It may just be something that is said in Wales/UK. But we use it to describe a crying baby.

Aubri is a cutie isn't she, it reminded me of nephew because when he was younger he did the same thing to me and it just seemed like a good thing to add in, as you said it makes it more realistic.

They were suspicious and in a later chapter Dom has even questioned it. In the letter Flick wrote to them she explained she may not write anymore so she could focus on her studies.

Thank you and I'll be sure to change it so it sounds better!!

-Potterfan310
Soph :)

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She needs to tell Al soon! The longer she waits, the worse his reaction will be. I love this story, but I'm getting a little impatient with Flick.
Keep up the good work!

Author's Response: Hey,

Thanks again for reading and reviewing, Flick just needs to find her courage. There are a few surprises to come though :)

-Potterfan310
Soph x

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Another great chapter! How far off is Flick from telling Al about the twins? :) xx

Author's Response: Thank you!

Ahh now that would be spoilers sweetie, that's if she does ever tell him ;) Even I don't know right now .

Glad you liked it, thanks again.

-Pottefan310
Soph x

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Ah I love your work and will always be a GIGANTIC fan xx when's the next update?

Author's Response: Thank you!!!

No idea, I'm still in the process of writing chapter 16 and it's 50% done. College work and stuff is also getting in the way right now, which means less writing.

Thanks again Lol !!
-Potterfan310
Soph x

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Please update!!! I want to know who Dom likes! I think it's Aaron, that would explain why Dom doesn't want to say who it is!

Author's Response: Chapter 15 is in the que as we speak :)

It's a surprise shh!!

I'm not saying anything on the matter but I think you might be surprised ;)

Thanks again for reading and reviewing, you're the best!!!

-Potterfan310
Soph x :)

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Btw what's a que? X love the story btw love it!

Author's Response: When you add chapters they have to get validated by the mods before they get published. When you add a chapter it then goes into a que, the mods then go through all the chapters that have been submitted and they validate them or they rejct them depending on whether you need a different rating, need to add a warning or you forgot to credit someone for using a quote from a book/film or a chapter image.

The que varies depending on how quick the mods get throught the chapters.

I'm glad you like it!! Thanks again for reading nad reviewing!!!

-potterfam310
Soph xx :)

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OMG who does she like??? Ohhh suspense when's the next update? Can't wait xx keep up the good work!

Author's Response: It's a surprise ;) shh!

Chapter 15 is currently in the que and should be up soon.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!!!

-Potterfan310
Soph x

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yay it is getting better and better can't wait for the next chapter

Author's Response: Hey,

Thanks again for reading and reviewing. I'm glad you like it! I should be putting chapter 15 in the que!!

-Potterfan310
Soph x

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This Is A Good Chapter Can't Wait Until Chapter 15

Author's Response: Hey,

I wasn't too pleased with this chapterso I'm glad you like it!!!

Thanks again for reading and reviewing! I should be putting chapter 15 in the que tonight.

-Potterfan310
Soph x

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Please update! I love this story

Author's Response: Chapter 14 is in the que as we speak!!

Thanks again for reading and reviewing!

-Potterfan310
Soph x

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I'm loving your book. I think it's good how you have incorporated albus' point of view for this chapter because otherwise it is all just flick and while that is good, this just creates another part of the story and it makes it easier to visualize as now we know how both flick and albus feel even if they don't know it yet.
I love your story.

Author's Response: Hey,

I'm glad your loving it!! Yep, I think writing Albus' POV made me see things slightly differenetly as well. You're right about the feelings thing.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!!!

-Potterfa310
Soph x :D

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yay it it was a good chapter I enjoyed it but the next better be up soon or I will die

Author's Response: Thank you!! Glad you enjoyed it.

I'll be putting chapter 14 in the que either tonight or tomorrow.

-Potterfan310
Soph x

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i like this chapter i think it the best it show how Albus Is Really Feeling i cant wait for chapter 14.

Author's Response: I'll be putting chapter 14 in the que either today or tomorrow so look out.

Thanks again!! Glad you liked it.

-Potterfan310
Soph x

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can't wait for Al's pov :) well done, another great chapter x

Author's Response: It should be up soon.

Thank you! x

Thanks again for reading and reviewing!

-Potterfan310
Soph :)

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yay I can't wait, can you please give me an estimate of how long I have to stalk your story because I will go crazy if it is a period longer than 3 days. so please hurry. I read some of your other stories as well by the way and I loved them just as much, you came up with some brilliant ones :)

Author's Response: Hey,

Chapter 13 is currently in the que and should be up within the next 3-5 days.

I'm going away for the weekend and even though I'm writing the chapters updates might be less because I need to focus more on college work as deadlines are getting closer.

Kepp an eye on my blog for updates and other stuff about the characters/my stories.

Thanks, I'm glad you like them!!

Thanks again for reading and reviewing!!!
-Potterfan310
Soph x :D

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Al needs to find out, I think she should show him- not just be like "hey you have two kids!" She should get him to meet them first, it'd be really cute!
I liked that Bently and Al were both vampires!
I feel really sorry for Hattie now :(
PLEASE UPDATE SOON

Author's Response: Ahh I'm not saying much but who knows. ;D

Like father, like son. Even if he doesn't know it.
Hattie is troubled, but you never know she may be a nice person under all that mean-ness.

Chapter 13 is going in the que now!!

Thanks for reading and reviewing!!

-Potterfan310
Soph x :D

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i cant wait for the next chapter i think it will be really intersting cant wait for you to update

Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing!!

It is pretty interesting considering it's from Al's POV.

-Potterfan310
Soph x

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EeEeEeEeEeEeE !!!
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you !
I feel like I have been waiting forever for this, your story is the bet I have ever come across. It is awesome, I really can't wait for you to update, it has to be soon you are killing me with the slowness, but just so you know my sanity is in your hands.(no pressure or anything)

Author's Response: Hiya,

Thanks for reading and reviewing and I'm so glad you like it!!

Chapter 12 is in the que as we speak! Check out my blog for updates! (Link is in my author's page)

-Potterfan310
Soph x :)

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OMG I'm a big fan of ur work and I lov this story! Please update

Author's Response: Hey,

Thanks for reading and reviewing!! I'm glad you love it!!

Chapter 12 is in the que right now, check out my blog for updates! (Link is in my author's page)

-Potterfan310
Soph x :)

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this it ok chapter i would of like more but i cant wait until chapter 12

Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing!!

Chapter 12 should be up sometime in the next 2 weeks.

-Potterfan310
Soph x

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I really enjoy your story can't wait to see what's next.

Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing and I'm glad you like it!! :)

-Potterfan310
Soph x

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Hey! Sorry that my reviews are taking longer than usual these days - it seems like I only get around to them in the weekend, so I'm really sorry about that!

Anyway, this chapter seemed to be a little bit filler-ish, but sometimes we need fillers in stories to add to the development of characters so that is a-okay. I like that we got to see some more of Dom and Rose in this chapter, and that we are beginning to see their personalities shine through. I also liked that line about Rose being swapped for Hattie - I thought that was a nice, humorous touch to the chapter.

I would have loved to see a little bit more description in this chapter, to make the chapter flow a little more smoothly and slow down the pace a little. It would have been great had you expanded on the journey into Hogsmeade, perhaps playing a little more on Flick's conflicting emotions and I'd also have liked to seen some more detailed imagery concerning the Shrieking Shack.

I liked Flick's friends idea of locking her inside with Albus - that was very nicely done, even though it ended in an argument. I hope Flick tells Albus about the twins soon, and quickly too, because I think it's unfair to the children to grow up without knowing their father, purely because of Flick's selfishness.

I actually found Flick a little irritating in this chapter, although that was probably intentional. I didn't like the way she attacked Albus. Yes, she is under stress with the twins and yes, she did have a legitimate excuse for staying home last year but she didn't need to take it all out on Albus, especially considering it's been over a year and she STILL hasn't told them. I hate to think what Albus is going to feel when he realizes he has two kids and didn't even get to see the first year of their childhood. That is going to be a huge blow.

I also didn't like the way Flick told Albus about Hattie, and how the only reason she was with him was for the money. That was downright nasty. If she really likes/loves Albus, I would've thought she wouldn't have been so cruel. But then I guess love does strange things to people, right?

Anyway, I enjoyed this chapter, though I don't think it quite met the standard of the others. There were also a few grammar and spelling mistakes scattered throughout the chapter, so I'd suggest a quick edit.

Courtney:)

Author's Response: Heya,

Don't worry about it, it's fine, RL gets in the way.

Yep, just as chapter 5 this was simply a filler.

Dom and Rose = :) Flick really does wish it would happen since Rose spends so much time with them.

After reading over the chapter, I see what you mean. I'm hoping to do a big edit so I'll be sure to add some more descriptions in.

They had to talk some time even if they did argue. It is unfair on them and Flick has her reasons apart from not being able to tell him.

Everyone's irritating at some point and this chapter just happened to be Flick's time. I do believe Al will have a lot of feelings when/if he finds out, it'll be an interesting chapter to right I'm sure.

I think Flick feels that if she was Al, she would want to know the truth, Which is why she told him.You're right, love does do strange things to people and maybe that's why she told him.

I wasn't a huge fan of this chapter either.

I'm hoping to do a big edit on this sometime in the week so I'll be sure to change them.

Thank you once again!

-Potterfan310
Soph xx :)

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Hey! Sorry it took me so long to get back here - real life has gotten a little hectic.

Anyway, it's nice to see that Flick is settling it (sort of) and getting back into the swing of things (with some interesting incidents along the way) at Hogwarts. However, all I could think in this chapter was "How on earth could she leave her children behind?" I'd be freaking out if I were Flick, constantly flooing Ria, writing letters and trying to get in contact, so I hope we see some more of this panic to see her children coming out in later chapters.

Oooh, Hattie really is horrible, isn't she? Why on earth did Albus start going out with her? Clearly, he is crazy. But I hope Flick doesn't let Hattie drive her into insanity, because she's so much better than that. And I like the fact that Dom always sticks up for her. It seems like the two of them are very good friends and I really hope Flick starts letting her, as well as her other friends (and especially Albus) in soon. I don't want her to be all alone!

I noticed, at the start in particular several spelling and grammar mistakes that were a little distracting, so I'd suggest a quick re-read to get rid of those.

Another thing I liked about this chapter was the fact that those boys were drooling over Victoire...and I love the way Dom tried to protect her sister, which just resulted in Victoire yelling at her. That definitely seemed very sisterly. And VERY teenage boy, too.

Flick's timetable! Man, would I love to have three free periods in one day. Maybe I'd actually get some homework done then...although somehow, I doubt it.

Overall, nice chapter!

Courtney:)

Author's Response: Heya,

Don't worry about it, it's fine.

I think Flick was relativly calm as it was only the first night/day away from them but she does go into panic mode a bit later on.

Yep, Hattie is a piece of work. Al must be crazy, but somehow he tries to see a good side in everyone.

We'll see, Flick might eventually tell them but any idea who she would tell first??? Flick won't be alone ;)

I'll be sure to re-read and change them!!

Dom and Vic are close, but they're not as close as Flick and Ria. Even though Vic is older Dom still feels the need to protect her, they are family after all. Teenage boys, pretty much all of them have one thing on their mind except for the odd few.

Same here, but then again I never do. I always end up distracted by something else.

Thanks once again!!!

-Potterfan310
Soph xx

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