Reading Reviews for Parallel Universe
  
5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Drunaforever The Unbreakable Vow - Part 1

25th September 2012:
Pssh, Draco you know you love her! Awesome chapter I am eagerly awaiting another chapter!

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Review #2, by Francesca Salazar The storm has just began.

17th September 2012:
The story is Fantastic :)
Congratulations

Author's Response: Thank you! Keep checking back for more, yeah?
-pencilsparks


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Review #3, by Drunaforever Revelations

14th September 2012:
Wow this is amazing! It broke my heart to see Draco leave and Luna be hurt by that, but I still want to read more! Great job on this story!
XD Drunaforever

Author's Response: Thank you! I shall assure you that it would get better...but not so fast ;D I have the third chapter written and it's ready to send for validation :D Keep reading!
-pencilsparks


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Review #4, by manband20 The storm has just began.

8th September 2012:
Great job. keep it up!

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Review #5, by Moondanser83 The storm has just began.

6th September 2012:
Ok so I came across this story while browsing through the finished banners over at TDA and was intrigued! Draco/Luna? I'd never seen it before but instantly knew I had to check it out ;)

Your opening is a wonderful concept. The thought that those piece we saw floating away at the end of the battle were carrying tiny pieces of Voldemort's soul is fascinating! And that it could be absorbed ( I'm assuming that's what happened) by a person (presumably a Death Eater by the description ) is a brilliant idea!

I really can't wait to see where you go with this story ;)

One thing I did notice as I was reading were some awkward feeling sentences where there seemed to be too many or repetitive words. I know when is happens to me the best solution I find is to read it out loud, exactly as its written, and if you need a comparison for flow read a page of your favorite book aloud, then your chapter. I find that helps me straighten out any flow issues I have ;) It will also help you catch the few tense switches ;)

The only other thing was this one sentence

"Luna was kicking some loose rumbles..."

I'm assuming this is a typo and was supposed to be rubble lol ;)

Keep up the good work! I can't wait to see what happens next!

~Moon~

Author's Response: Thank you for your review! I will definitely try out what you have suggested for my next chapter. It's all typed out and I'll go through it once more.

Baha, yeah, it was a typo since I have this story and I was in a rush to type things out as all those ideas keep flowing :P

Thank you for taking your time to read! I hope what happens next would be up to your expectations? XD
-pencilsparks


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