Hey, SamMalfoy93 here. After months, I'm finally here to leave you your challenge prize reviews. I may not be able to leave all five today, I have to revise for my exam tomorrow, but I'll try. :)
Anyway, two of my favorite characters crying over the loss of their friends... It's so sad, there are a few tears. I want James and Lily to be back and for them all to be happy and smiling. ;(
I think you wrote this amazingly, their grief and pain from losing someone they loved. And that now it's just them. Which makes it worse, as soon it'll be just Remus and then... No fair.
For something this short, you were able to show so much about their friendship, that Sirius and Remus can tell each other this. It's amazing.
Loved reading this.
Sam. Report Review
Really good x
I loved it xAuthor's Response: Thank you so much :) Report Review
Hello! I'm True Author with your requested review! =]
I must say this was a touching one shot, perfectly filled with necessary emotions. Cheers! I love this!
I always feel bad for Sirius Black but I also like him so much. he never had happiness in his life after James and Lily died. he never speaks about his own problems and troubles in front of Harry but still he must be feeling lonely and sad. I think his emotions are perfectly caught in your story.
I loved this! =[ I feel so bad for Sirius! No corrections for you!
AshwiniAuthor's Response: Hi, thank you for reviewing!
You're right--we never really see him talking about his grief and problems in the books with Harry or anyone but it's at the same time so clear how lonely and heartbroken he is. It makes me really happy to know that I was able to convey all of his emotions correctly!
Thank you again fo reading and reviewing! The feedback really helps to know what I'm doing right :) Report Review
It's Rosie from the blue vs bronze review battle! :)
First off, this was just so heart-breaking. But at the same time, it was beautiful. I absolutely loved the way you conveyed the emotion.
I loved your characterization of Sirius. Although we know Sirius as a tough, humorous character, I really liked how you managed to get him right even though he was so grief-stricken and broken in this story. Remus' characterization was wonderful too--I liked how much of a great friend he was, trying to comfort his last closest friend.
The theme of this piece was wonderful--friendship. I really saw how much James meant to Sirius and Remus. Their bond was so close and somehow you managed to convey that perfectly.
I only have on bit of advice though. Near the end you weren't very consistent with the PoV. You switched from Sirius' PoV to Remus'. Just watch out for that next time. ;)
Overall, this was a very touching one-shot. I really love your writing style! Keep on writing! :D
~RosieAuthor's Response: Hi, thank you for reading and reviewing!
I always get so sad when I think of everything Sirius had to go through--for me, he definitely has one of the most heartbreaking stories. We never really see Remus and Sirius grieving in the books but at the same time, it's still clear how much they miss James and Lily. I really wanted to get all the emotions right and do him justice so I'm so glad you liked it!
I definitely see Remus as one of those quiet friends who offers the greatest support by just being there and listening and I'm glad i was able to show how good of a friend he was.
I usually write through first-person POV so thank you for pointing that out! I will definitely look out for it next time :)
Thank you again for such a lovely review! Definitely put a smile on my face :) Report Review
Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. I felt the pain, the suffering, the anguish. You did an astounding job.Author's Response: Oh, gosh thank you so so much! It really helps my writing and I appreciate it so much to read that you felt all the emotions that I was trying to convey. Your review has completely made my day :) Report Review
Beautifully written and very moving! I always get sad when I think about James and Sirius - they were like brothers, and it would have been so hard to lose James.
Thanks so much for writing and sharing this!Author's Response: Thank you so much for that lovely review :) I think that Sirius has one of the most heartbreaking stories in HP. I really wanted to bring out all of his emotions, especially in how it felt to loose someone so close to him (you're completely right, they were practically brothers), so I'm really glad you liked it!
Thank you again for reading and reviewing! Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection