STOP BEING SO GOOD AT WRITING! This put me on the brink of tears, I swear D: It certainly made my double history more interesting ;)
Argh just the way you wrote it :( It's so perfect and I just love the way you write Tonks :3 she's so perfect! And her love for Remus - ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME YOU
All in all, I absolutely loved it :D
Emily xxx Report Review
I remember when I read DH for the first time I actually read the line where it says these characters died four or five times, I was so shocked.
This was a very fast paced, action filled piece. But still I can see your own personal touch, the feelings of sadness and loss you so well describe. It actually gave me comfort that she got to say goodbye to Remus in the end.
Again with you not being happy with your writting. I swear this is the first time I've come across an author with a style that is their own and they stick to it (I mean short sentences and paragraphs, no useless details, a lot of tension and emotions running high in your stories), no real obvious, "in your face" spelling or grammar mistakes and you are still not happy with it! While I applaud your strive for perfection, I'm sure that if I were to look at some of your reviews I'd find a whole lot of people who agree with me. :) Report Review
Well when I saw a Remus/Tonks fic I couldn't resist, and I'm very glad I stopped to read!
You've got there emotion perfect and I loved how they died together, so tragic and made even more so by the fact her last thoughts were off her son. Her son they would never get to see. :'(
I thought you had her characterization down nicely, I loved the part about watching her mother do house spells but then by the time she can do magic she doesn't want to do them spells. A nice part in there.
A few spelling mistakes I noticed,
"I'm gonna to be" should be "I'm gonna be" and
"fait" should be faint."
I always feel sorry for them two, they are so under appreciated in the books and yet there story line is amazing, tragic but so full of love. I'm adding to my favorites and awesome job! :) Report Review
Absolutely. Amazing. Tears splashed on my keyboard:'( This is such an awesome emotional piece of work, so realistic and creative, I love love love it. Probably the best one shot I've ever read, it's so moving. Thanks 4 writing such a brilliant piece, I can't believe your not happy with it! :) Report Review
THAT WAS SO GORGEOUS. I think you captured Tonks and Remus's love beautifully, especially at the end. Oh my god. I can't even say anything... I'm speechless. Wow. I hope you win the challenge this was written for! Ah. I'll tell you more on forums once I get my thoughts together! 10/10
Cassie :)Author's Response: Hello Cassie! Thanks for dropping by! :D
Hehe, thanks! I'm glad you think so!
I'm looking forward to hearing more on the forums :D
~ Eilidh xx Report Review
Yes, this really was rushed. Hehe but it's alright. If you go through it slowly when you come back, I'm sure it'll be loads better :)
I think, rather than her first day in the Hogwarts express, she would remember the first day she saw Remus or the first time she saw Ted's face instead. For me the train incident had no significance at all. I don't know if you have some canon idea otherwise, but that's just me :)
There were spelling errors here and there which could be easily rectified if you decide to revamp this :) I think you should. This is a beautiful fic and revamping it would make it loads better.
The only major mistake I have to say is the fact that the story is rushed. But you can come back and redo this :D If you need a beta, PM me, or you can request for someone better ;)
I really like the last bit, the way they both dies in each other's arms. Please PLEASE explain it a little bit more. this fic would be great if you do so.
I love the last line. I really like it. It really makes the death terrible because she dies worrying... :(
Thank you so much for submitting this love :D
*Hugs* Report Review
Well! I told you that I would be back and here I am! I decided to start from the top and work my way down, that seemed like the best option and I actually really liked this one-shot! Its so sad, but its well-written and I expected it to go on for a while longer. This should have been a novel, you've got to make it now or I'll be underneath your bed! >:D Mwhahah! Anyway, I was really torn on going through Tonk's memories and that last bit with her and Remus just gave me chills! I'd always felt the most sorry for them, never getting to see their son grow up and dying when he'd never even remember them. I like the ending though, her last thoughts were focused on her son and not on the bitterness of actually leaving him. The fact that she knew he'd be safe warmed my heart over!
I'll be back! Have fun with my angsty stories!
GabbieAuthor's Response: Hello Gabbie! I'm glad to see you back, and that's a great idea! I think I'm going to read This Is Angelina first because I just love her!
Thank you so much, this review really made my day and made me feel good about this story. Cos the first review I got wasn't very good and I wasn't very happy with it in the first place.
But how could I make this into a novel?? She dies at the end!! Haha! D'ya know how creepy that sounds?? Sounds like something I would say though...
I know! I hate that they have to die!! It's so unfair! And Teddy... poor Teddy! I hate it! But, I've got to say, the worse deaths are Fred and Sirius! I can't bear to think of them!
I'll be waiting :) And I will, I should get to them at the weekend. If not, feel free to throw cookies at me (mostly so I can eat them :p )
~ Eilidh xx Report Review
arghh what are you talking about Eilidh this was bleeding awesome!honest.way better than mine at any rate... i could actually fel the love between them and the desperation. so good...dammit now i have to improve mine...Author's Response: Hey, thanks :) I'm so glad you liked it and that you took your time to review :)
I bet your is amazing, I'll have to read it soon :D Report Review
Calling for this rather late review swap >.>
That was intersting, but I do have some things to say. The paragrapghs were rather short and 90% of the time they started with the letter 'I' It's not a big thing, but it was a bit annoying. Perhaps you could squash some of the short paragraphs together to create a larger one? Or you could even think up some more words or different ways to start of your paragraphs than putting something like 'I did this' or 'I fet this' Those are the only bad things I have to say about this, other than that it was a great story to read and a good job. It was a little rushed though :S But as yo did explain in the AN you were rushed for time, but now It's posted you mat thing about expanding it and adding some more detail to it? Something to keep in mind.
The emotions in this was great, but I did think some things were a little pointless to add in. The bit about Tonks in her first year and that other girl- what was the point of that really? But you can just ignore me as it's your one-shot and not mine. You did a good job in all and with a little more time and editing this could be a really great one-shot :) Nice job!
Calling xAuthor's Response: Hey, thanks :)
Hmm, I'll have to go back and have a look at that. But my writing is usually short sentences and paragraphs, that's just my style. Some people really like it, and others not so much.
But the 'I' thing I'll defenety have to work on.
The thing about her first year wasn't actually pointless. I put that in becasue it was one of the biggest days of her life, and cos she thought she was about to die, that came to mind, and the girl was such a small thing that became big because of the situation she was in... if that makes any sence :/
Thanks again, and I'll go back and edit when I have time :D Report Review
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