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Reading Reviews for His most faithful follower
  
7 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Marshal A deathly end

28th April 2017:
Bellatrix as a legilmence, so interesting! I never thought of her to be one but you did a nice job of using that. Her being able to tell who people were and to sense Harry's thoughts though invisible is interesting, though it makes me wonder why Voldemort didn't do the same to find Harry as Voldemort was an accomplished legilmence as well.

Still, Bellatrix's feelings and thoughts in the fight were quite interesting. I love how she is shocked at Molly being equal to her and yet denying it at the same time. That was probably my favorite part. Of course poor Bellatrix (not that I feel sympathy for her) doesn't realize that by taunting Molly that she makes Molly fight all the harder and by that one line pretty much sealed her own fate.

I also love how there were a lot of people coming close to trying to help Molly but I love how Molly is all "I've got this" You certainly caught the feelings of the moment and I think it is interesting that you took the time to add a few lines of what happened after Bellatrix died while most of the story was being told from her perspective. Interesting story to say the least!

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Review #2, by Yoshi_Kitten A deathly end

28th April 2017:
Hello again, Shaza!! I am back to R&R some more of your loveliness for another round of CTF! Oh, this was a really good insight into Bellatrix's mind during the Battle of Hogwarts here, I enjoyed reading it a lot. I love how the opening line states that Bellatrix was “having the time of her life.” Like, they're in the middle of this epic battle, and people are literally dying, but it's just another happy day at the park for her, lol!! That opening line alone really captures her craziness quite well!

I feel like your characterization of Bellatrix is spot-on from the books in this piece. The arrogant attitude and voice that you gave her was perfect! The fact the she legitimately thought/believed that no one else there could best her was so believable for her character, and I especially liked that she eventually admitted that Molly was a formidable foe. And it was nice to see some of the familiar lines from The Deathly Hallows included in there also, especially that classic Molly line, haha!!

One thing that was new for me when reading this was seeing Bellatrix use her Legilimency skills during battle. I liked how she was able to tell who Ginny was, and then who Molly was. It never occurred to me that she could do that before, but now that I've read it in here it totally makes sense now! I can totally see that happening during the battle, especially among wizards who were trained in that skill. It is extremely efficient, after all.

Grammatically, everything looked pretty good in this as far as I could tell. There were no spelling errors or misplaced commas or anything like that as far as I could see. Then again, I wasn't really looking for those, but nothing grabbed my attention, so that has to be a good sign, lol! The flow was nice, and you really managed to pack a lot in in just a few words. I am in awe of people who can do that, haha!! My chapters are always so long, even when I try to trim them. This was an excellent read, and I'm so glad I discovered it. Bellatrix is certainly not an easy character to write, yet you did an excellent job getting inside that mad little mind of hers. Well done!!

~Deana

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Review #3, by melian A deathly end

12th April 2017:
Ooh, Bellatrix in the final battle! I’ve read so many battle stories (and written a fair few myself), but never have I seen one from Bellatrix’s perspective in that final scene where she’s duelling Molly.

You’ve got her arrogance down pat, I’ll give you that. The sneering and the absolute conviction that no one would be able to challenge her. Even her recognition that she actually had a fight in Molly Weasley – or “the blood traitor’s mother” – was grudging, nothing she would ever admit in public. After all, she was Bellatrix Black Lestrange. No one got the better of her.

I think you chose the best quotes from the canon, too, for this little insight. Obviously there’s the classic Molly line, but also the one about Fred was well chosen I thought – it was designed precisely to hit Molly where it hurt, in her maternal love. Of course, Bellatrix had no idea about maternal love, did she (Cursed Child notwithstanding)? I think that’s always a good parallel to draw, and you’ve done it well. It’s subtle enough to make me think you may not have done it intentionally, but that doesn’t matter, does it? You had the same result regardless :)

And then, that ending. Ooh! Voldemort raising his wand on Harry – we know what he wants to do, and where you leave it makes it sound like Molly is subjected to an AK. Of course, we know she’s not, but you really have that sense of foreboding there. In fact, I’m going to have to get the book out now to remind myself how exactly that did go down. *hunts for her copy of DH*

All in all a very good and intriguing one-shot. Well done!

Cheers Mel

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Review #4, by crimson quill A deathly end

12th April 2017:
Capture The Flag

So, what an interesting idea for a story! I think bellatrix's mind must be an dark place to be in for anyone other than bellatrix! I can't help being really intrigued by the character, how she thinks about things always seemed so twisted so her dead scene is something important to cover.

I think in your writing that you brought across her personality quite well in such a short amount of words. she showed some of her key character traits especially highlighting her arrogant side to the reader with phases like 'old housewife was no match for the dark lord's most favoured follower. because it shows she thinks a lot of herself not a lot of Molly, this will be your downfall bellatrix, don't underestimated a mother on a mission!!

I thought the last line about voldermort pointing his wand at Molly as he was almost mourning bellatrix. I wonder if voldermort really did feel anything what she was killed or was it really just nothing? I thought the title of your story was also I really good link in with canon as it almost came her official title 'his most faithful follower' within the series! xo

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Review #5, by marauderfan A deathly end

17th January 2017:
OH YES IT'S A STORY ABOUT BELLATRIX! And at the time of her death too. This is going to be amazing

... yep, it was. I actually love Bellatrix as a character (as much as I hate her... it's complicated :P ) and so I love reading stories that get inside her head. And the first half of this, as she's picking out her next victims and choosing the ones who will be most fun to duel, it says so much about her, her extreme self confidence and the fact that she underestimates a lot of others (like Molly Weasley for example, whom Bellatrix writes off as 'a little old housewife')

Basically I think you did really well exploring how Bellatrix felt about the battle and what she was thinking, and how there was a critical point when she went from just having fun sending spells at Molly, to realizing that it was a very well matched duel. I don't think she ever really entertained the idea that she might die, rather like her cousin who died at her own hand. A trait that runs in the Black family, maybe :P

AND THEN MOLLY SAVES THE DAY!

Anyway, I really enjoyed reading this, and I love that you visited this important moment from Bellatrix's POV, it was a great read.

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Review #6, by CassiePotter A deathly end

4th November 2012:
Hello! I'm here from the Hufflepuff review tag!
I thought this story was really good, especially because we were reading about Bellatrix, and you aren't dreading her death because of how awful she was. I think you did a good job capturing her feelings about Harry, Ginny, Hermione, and Mrs. Weasley, and also her faithfulness to Voldemort. There were a few grammar things I noticed that could easily be fixed.
"They were all fighting there hardest" should be "their hardest"
"Suddenly it wasn't the Potter boy running towards her but a women" should be "a woman"
Other than that, the pace and flow of the story was very good and I really enjoyed it. 9/10
Cassie :)

Author's Response: Hey, sorry for the wait real life has been hectic!
I'm glad you liked it and thanks for the tips, I'll edit it when I get the chance! :)
Thanks for reviewing and I'm glad you liked it! :)


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Review #7, by Shortie A deathly end

10th September 2012:
I’ll first get to the dislikes :D

First of all, you’ve made her sound a little bit too mild. It’s Bellatrix so it’s okay to make her sound as bad as Voldemort himself. But then again maybe that was your point, to make her tamer than she appears to be. :) If so, that could work as well. But there were some things that I found hard to believe. First of all, the fact that Bellatrix read Harry’s mind at the Manor. I don’t think that happened. She was first so focused on getting the message o the Dark Lord that “she” has caught the boy, and then she was all worked up about the sword leaving her vault. She just threw Harry and Ron into the cell and kept Hermione to herself, to get the information. Also, all the death eaters knew that Harry had an invisibility cloak. Remember when Harry and the other two right into Hogsmead, one death eater used the summoning spell on the cloak and it didn’t work, so he screamed, “No under your cloak then Potter?” So they all knew about the cloak.

Also, Harry was supposed to be dead by the time Bellatrix got to Ginny, Hermione and Luna so she would have reacted more if she really hear Harry’s thoughts, which she really didn't.

But then again, all these might just be intentional to spice up the story, I don’t know. I’m really just pointing out :D

I spotted a few typos, but they can be re-read and edited so it’s no biggie really.

There – Their
Enimies – enemies
Manour – Manor
Cloack – cloak
Then – than
A women – A woman
Time’s – Times
This women – This woman
Neve – Never
Woment – women
Tocuh – touch
Responsiable - responsible

“It was time's like this Bellatrix realished in being an accomplished at legilimency” I think it should be “It was at times like this that Bellatrix relished in being an accomplished legilimence”

I’m really sorry if I’m being a total you-know-what by pointing all these things out, but I love it when people do that to me because then it’s easier to correct my mistakes, so I think it will be easier for you as well.

None of these are really that major, because these can be corrected easily. The only thing I’m holding onto is the fact that you’ve made Bellatrix mild. But hey, that’s your choice :D

Now the goodies ;)

First of all, thank you so very much for writing Bellatrix. It’s really hard to get inside a lethal Death Eater and write her thoughts, especially when death is so near, but you’ve done a great job. I love the fact that you described the fight just as it is in the book, but in your own words. It’s very creative, thoughtful and cunning of you ;) But amazing all the same. More than that I love the fact you brought out the devotional passion she had for Voldemort. It’s something many people don’t write but you have, and I love you for that *Hugs*

Thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to read this lovely piece love :) You’ve done a great job.

Really.

*Hugs*

Author's Response: Hey, thanks for the review!
It's fine, I do like reviews like this cause they do improve my story a lot!
I'll bear in mind what you said when I come to edit it and I'm glad you liked it! :)
Thanks again for reviewing! :)


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