oh interesting! never really read a lucy/scorpius fic before so im keen to read more!
also could we get a bit of a background on scorpius and lucy's past??
oh and i promise i will go to your MTA page soon!! its just i really need to finish an assignment for school (which i should be working on now... ) but then once im done i promise i shall check it out!Author's Response: Misty! yes, the background is coming up in chapter 2, so don't you worry 'bout that :P Assignment? GO DO IT YOUNG LADY! Naw, I don't do work at all so I can't speak :P Thanks for the review hun! Report Review
Hello! I really liked this chapter! I've never read anything with Lucy/Scorpius, so this is a really unique story so far! Also, I love the dynamics between Lucy and the other healers that work with her. It feels really natural, and I can definitely picture all of this happening, especially in St. Mungo's! Are we going to get some background on Lucy and Scorpius's relationship? Because she blushes so much, that makes me think something has happened between them before. Also, descriptions of what the other characters look like would be nice, unless you want to leave it up to the reader to imagine what they think the characters would be like. The only grammar thing I noticed was when someone says something and you don't have "he said" or "she said" after it, you can put a period instead of a comma.
"Go back to the chicken lady Lucy Weasel," can be "Lucy Weasel." unless you want to put he said or Adam said after the comma.
Overall, this was a really interesting chapter, and I think this story is going to be really unique and fun to read! 9/10
Cassie :)Author's Response: Hi Cassie, I love how you review everything I write, it's awesome :D Natural was the feel I was going for and most of the dialogue in this is going to be staffroom talk. Yep, obviously, just wait until the next chapter ;) I can tell you're definitely not British, because we say full stops not periods, muahahaha! Unique's what I aim to do, though with thousands of other fics, it's very hard :D Thanks for the review Cassie x
Didya know I have an MTA now? Exciting! Report Review
Hey, here with the review swap :)
This was really good! I love how it's set in St Mungo's, I've never read any set there before... actually I have, but I didn't really enjoy it, so I think that put me off, but this made me see a whole new side to them. I would to work there, it would be so cool to see all the weird injuries... ok, now I'm just rambling :/
Now to the review stuff :)
The plot is very interesting so far. But because it's so short I can't really comment on that. I'm looking foreward to see how it develops :)
I love your take on the characters. Lucy is very different to how I would imagine her, but I like her all the same. I like the others too, they seem very interesting :)
The flow and pace are excellent! Really well done!
And the writing is bril! No spelling or grammar mistakes that I could see (or remember), so a good chapter all round!
The only thing I would say though is to try and make it a little longer. I know it's the first chapter (mine are always short, sometime shorter than this so I'm one to talk!), but we didn't get to see much of wahts going on. Try and work on that and I would give you a 10/10 :)
9/10 and an add to favouites. Keep up the great writing! Well done! :)
~ Eilidh xAuthor's Response: Thanks for the review Eilidh, I feel like my review's a little rubbish compared to yours, lol. I think because Percy's her dad most people would assume she's a bookworm but people aren't exactly like their parents. It was only short because it was an intro but the other chapters should be much longer than that ;) I really loved Love Story :D Report Review
Yay I love healer and Scorpius stories! Fab first chapter :)Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I had to do a healer story- I watched way too much Casualty than was good for me as a child ;) I think Scorpius would be healer, I don't know why, but that's my thought :D Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection