You know how Gemma said that she knew she didn't taste good because she'd tried it. I'm interested to know what happened that caused her to, for lack of a better word, take a bite out of herself. At the same time though, I'm a little bit scared of what the answer will be.Author's Response: Haha, that's a long story, a funny one but a long one. I might make a collection of one-shots from around this story so you never know, you might find out about it then :)
Thank you so much for the review it was lovely :) Report Review
this is a great chapter i hope the next chapter is even better. Report Review
Wow, Gemma is a really bad liar, really bad. I'm surprised the Ravenclaws didn't eat Gemma on sight or anything (no disturbing images meant, I didn't mean it literally).
Just a couple of CC, you had some awkwardly phrased sentences in there that made it difficult to understand what you were trying to say that I would suggest fixing. Also, why does Albus have grey eyes? Report Review
The entire time that James was bribing Gemma I kept chanting in my head "GRAB THE TOAST AND RUN!" That's what I would've done. Just grabbed the toast and ran away laughing like a maniac. I'm with Gemma though, butter on toast is so good!
Anyway, awesomesauce first chapter and I can't wait for the rest!Author's Response: Haha, that's exactly what I would have done aswell. Though with Gemma, common sense and intelligent plans sort go out the window when toast is involved. It is more of a "That's toast, I want it. Must get it now." It leaves here rather easy to bribe cause she doesn't understand that grabbing and running is far easier then agreeing.
Glad you liked it and thanks for the review :) Report Review
I approach with the full intent to fulfill my pinky swear and write a review for my beloved Stephy who apparently writes quite amazingly although she's never told me her of her brilliant writing skills. I feel slightly deceived.
This was a brilliant read, and I could definitely, definitely connect with our lovely main character. Following her through her little Quidditch-y adventure that gets her between two siblings, son of the most famous man in the Wizarding World, is bound to be fun - or at least interesting.
From what I've seen or heard, usually this ends up with nothing but trouble, and it looks like this might just apply in this chapter. Looking to see this trouble - just can't wait. Of course, doesn't look like I need to.
Like I was saying earlier, I adore this main character. She connects to me, and she probably connects to most readers which is a good thing.
I'm sure we can all agree that anytime before 10 AM (or maybe more of 12 PM) should not ever, ever exist, and I was delighted to see this character shares my view. Reading the books, I always felt sorry for the characters during morning. As it's school, they have to wake up at a ridiculous hour, get dressed which takes longer for girls according to polls, and then have to run down a magical castle with moving, long flights of stairs to breakfast. Doesn't sound like a blast, does it?
So I love you gave us a glimpse of this perspective - was a fabulous idea.
Although I'm going to disagree with the whole 'bias'd head of House.' As this is the next generation, one can reasonably assume that Snape's dead and Slughorn is bound to be either retired or dead by now, and Professor McGonogalll (or whomever is the headmistress or headmaster) is unlikely to hire anyone like Snape's bias'd-ness. Maybe an unpleasant figure might be the Head of Slytherin but maybe not bias'd. Also have to add - the Potions professor isn't always the Head of that House. Really, if this professor was recently hired, he probably isn't the Head of House at all.
To finish this up, I would fix some grammar errors with quotation marks and capitalization, but altogether I really loved your story and it put a smile on my face. Keep updating! :3
-Wistful Report Review
I really like the story so far!! Gemma is a Hilarious character that you love right away! I wonder what unfolds in the next chapter!!Author's Response: Aw, I'm glad you like it. Gemma is definitely amusing to write and I'm glad that other people can see how entertaining she can be :)
Thank you so much for the review. :) Report Review
OMG IS IT AL WHO WANTS TO PROFESS HIS LOVE FOR GEMMA?!
I love the story by the way! I like Gemma, she's a cool character :DAuthor's Response: Telling you would spoil the next chapter wouldn't it... I couldn't possibly do that. :P
I'm glad you like her, she is definitely one of my favourite characters to write as. She just has so much spirit and is a joy, she makes writing interesting.
Thank you for the review, it made me smile to know you like the story :) Report Review
Please Update The Last Past Was Cryptic So I Think It Involves Something With Albus So Please Update Quick.Author's Response: Well you never know ;) it could be some completely different person that James and Rose happen to be great friends with.
I'll get the chapter up as soon as I can and thank you so much for the review :) Report Review
I love this story. It makes me happy.
But that end bit (I know its supposed to be like cryptic and stuff) it kinda sounds like theyre gonna rape her or kill her or something. Im scared for her. Apart from that, brilliant work. Keep it up ;)Author's Response: Haha, I'm glad you like it, trust me, nothing bad will happen to little Gemma, I just like suspense too much (Guilty pleasure). I shall hopefully have another chapter in the queue by the end of the week so everything will be explained soon.
Thank you so much for the review, it made my day :) Report Review
hey! it's beajerry from the ravenclaw review battle, here with your review!
(can i just apologize in advance for my lack of capitals, the 'shift' button is broken.)
so it's a good start to a next-gen; quidditch, the two potter boys, a funny narrative and a plot already. i've only read the first chapter, but it's shaping up to be like any other next-gen romcom- quidditch, the two potter boys, a funny narrative and a plot. this is good and all, and don't get me wrong, i'm excited to read the next chapter, but i just wish that you'll avoid the typical next-gen potter/oc stereotypes in this story.
the narrative is funny, but not funny enough to the opening seven paragraphs of an un-interrupted monologue. personally, i like the opening chapter to really draw me in- humour, an introduction and sly description of the narrator and her relationship with james- which will make me eager to read the next chapter. all this chapter has going for it is a slight cliffhanger.
but hopefully all will be introduced in chapter two?
anyway. it's a good start, but i'm just hoping you'll avoid the typical nextgen cliches in order to make this really special. hopefully more characters, wit, descriptions and humour will be featured in the next chapter, too.
bea xo Report Review
AW this story has just pulled me in. I really enjoyed reading it, I could really see the realness of Gemma. But I just cant wait to see what Al says to her. Oh and commando crawling that's very different. I loved that there was so many moments that I really had a laugh at but there wasn't too meany to distract me from the story. I cant wait for the next chapter. Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection