Reading Reviews for Innocence
  
12 Reviews Found

Review #1, by theblacksisters Innocence

29th September 2013:
I thought this was hilarious, whether it was intended or not. Very good.

Author's Response: Thank you! Yeah, I did intend it to have a bit of humour, haha!

Glad you enjoyed! ^_^


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Review #2, by slytherinchica08 Innocence

4th December 2012:
I really liked this oneshot! I've written a oneshot about this time for Neville as well, though its not posted yet, and I always find it interesting to see how others have this time written! I loved how this is what brought him to the RoR! Also the best part for me was that Theodore helped him leave, I have a small soft spot for Theo though I'm not sure why so it was fun to see your Theo. I though that this was very well written but there was one small part that I thought could be worded differently and it was here, "Immediately the Slytherin students put their hands up eagerly" by using the word immediately, I already assume that they are rather eagar as they are doing it right away so instead I would either leave off the eagar, drop immediately and put eagar in front or you could say Immediately the Slytherin students hands shot up, eagar to prove their worth. Other than that small bit though, I thought this was a wonderful read! Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Aww thank you!

You should post it, and tell me, so I can have a read of it too! Not many people have ventured into this area, it would be interesting to see others' thoughts on it! :D

I think I've read so much fanfiction that Theo being nice and sweet is basically canon in my eyes. :p

I'll fix that up soon, thanks for pointing it out! :D

Thanks for the review, and sorry for taking so long to answer it!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS! :D


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Review #3, by TenthWeasley Innocence

4th December 2012:
I've taken to haunting the page of one-shots lately, for something to do and because I've grown quite fond of leaving random reviews. And when I saw this story, I was quite intrigued!

I've never before read anything set in Harry's seventh year that actually focused on those left behind at Hogwarts, but I have no trouble at all imagining that lessons would have gone basically like this. The Carrows are basically some of the most horrible people ever, although he was fun to read about here all the same. And surprisingly funny!

But I was so, so proud of Neville for standing up to him like that! It's mentioned in canon, of course, but I loved that you included it -- and it seemed very much a Neville sort of bravery, if that makes any sense at all. The ending was great, too, having that be the way Neville finds the Room of Requirement. And you mention the Death Eaters' attempts to torture his gran, too, and I just love all the little canon ties in this!

I really enjoyed reading this, and am glad that I clicked on this. :) Great work -- keep it up!

Author's Response: *faints because you are reviewing a story of mine*

I love humour, I always try and add it in somewhere! :p I'm glad the lessons seemed realistic, I was SO nervous about that because we really only have Neville's word on it from the books!

Neville is a brave little guy. :') I'm a canon-nut, so I try and reference canon whenever possible! :p

I'm SOOO glad you liked it, reading this really put a smile on my face! :D

Thanks for the review! ♥


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Review #4, by caomoyl Innocence

4th November 2012:
Hey! This was a really great entry in my challenge! I loved it and the way you incorporated the meme quote into the story, it really worked well.
I adore the way you portrayed Amycus! I have never really thought of his character very much as we never really see much of him, but this really brought out his twisted side that we assume from the little we do see. You made me pity those in the class more than I already did and also showed a Slytherin as a nice person who didn't agree with everything that was happening. That isn't done often and it made a nice change to see it more realistically.
The way you wrote Neville was so well done. You didn't show him as the shy and reclusive boy we used to know, but more as they brave boy who stood up for what he believes in. Some people do forget that on occasion.
This had a really nice flow and it all seemed to go at a very good pace that didn't overload you with information whilst not boring you! I didn't find any mistakes in it at all which was nice, so well done on that!
Overall, I really loved this story! Sorry for taking so long with the review! RL kind of sucked a lot for a while and got really busy, but keep an eye on the blogs on the forums and I'll announce the results as soon as I can!!

-caomoyl

Author's Response: Hello!

I loved this challenge, I had SO much fun writing it! :D

I thought of Amycus because I felt the character needed to teach someone else on this, so the only two evil people I could think of was Amycus and Alecto. :p

I've always seen Theodore Nott as a kind of nice person. And I know all Slytherin's aren't mean and evil, so I felt I should try and chuck that in there. :p

Neville is boss, so he couldn't just be shy. And he got so many bruises because he stood up to Amycus/Alecto so I knew in DH he wasn't a shy, bumbling boy any more.

Wow, no mistakes?! That's gotta be a first! ;D

It's okay about the review, I understand that RL can be frustrating! I'm excited for these results!

Thanks for creating this challenge and thank you for the review! :D


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Review #5, by RosieQueen Innocence

20th October 2012:
It's Rosie from the review tag! :)

Wow, this was an excellent one-shot! I loved how you managed to put humor and horror/dark together. That must have been very difficult, considering that those genres almost never go together. But somehow you pulled it off very nicely. :)

As someone who is very into the era of the Second Wizarding war, (I have two stories about it!) I think you did a very good job characterizing Amycus and showing the current climate the students are in. Amycus and the Slyherins were perfectly harsh and realistic, so that's wonderful. :)

One critique I have is about Amycus knowing about Dumbledore's army. Wouldn't they have already been severely punished or expelled if the Carrows knew about it? Because in the seventh book it said that the Carrows had brought back many of Umbridge's rules, and one of them being about expelling students on starting illegal organizations. Not a very big deal, honest! It doesn't take anything away from the story.

Overall, this was a very enjoyable one-shot. I loved the ending where Neville goes to the Room of Requirement, because we know that at one point something causes him to start living there, so your interpretation was interesting. The flow and grammar was excellent. Keep up the great work! :)

~Rosie

Author's Response: Heya Rosie!

I wasn't actually going to put horror/dark in this, but as I was writing it I didn't know if I should put it in or not, (Obviously I put it in, just to be safe) but quite a few people have said that I pulled it off, so that's always good to hear. :)

I'm glad to hear Amycus' characterisation was well done! I was rather worried about that. :p

I completely forgot about that! But, I kinda needed that to get the thing flowing. :/ If I ever think of another way to write it, I'll put it in there and credit you for pointing that out!

I'm glad you liked it! I don't think we were ever told how Neville got to the Room of Requirement, I thought I'd put that in. ;)

Thanks for reviewing! :D


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Review #6, by LadyOrobourus Innocence

19th October 2012:
Ooo I love it. Neville being brave was something I never foreseen him developing and I think you captured this wonderfully. :)

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for leaving me this review! :D

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Review #7, by Lady Asphodel Innocence

19th October 2012:
Oh wow.

This is a very interesting insight on what happened with Carrows, so good job with that. And I liked the ending part with Neville finding the Room of Requirement.

Keep up the great work!


From the review tag,


-Asphodel

Author's Response: Hello there! :D

I'm glad you liked it! The Carrows were a bit tricky to write! :p

Thanks for reviewing! :D


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Review #8, by No_oneKnows Innocence

16th October 2012:
I love how you alluded to the moment where Neville finds the Room of Requirement as a hideout! Also, I really loved how you portrayed Amycus. We don't know much about the Carrows and the way you portrayed him seemed very reasonable and realistic, especially through the things he said.

It was a story that actually made me smile out of amusement (I don't know if that was intentional or not but either way, it worked! :P), simply because of the idiocracy (is that even a word?) of the Slytherins!

Good job with it :D

Author's Response: I don't remember reading if we know how Neville got to the Room of Requirement so I thought I'd do a fic on it. :)

It was originally going to be a sort of parody but then it sort of had that more serious-y undertone? I don't know, but I'm glad someone thought it was amusing! :p

THANKS FOR REVIEWING AGAIN! ♥ ♥


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Review #9, by MrsJaydeMalfoy Innocence

7th October 2012:
*Runs up and taps you on shoulder* Hehe; TAG! :D

Wow. This is a very interesting and very original piece! Never, EVER before have I read something about how Neville wound up staying in the Room of Requirement, so BIG kudos there for originality!

I think your characterization of Amycus was delightfully well-done; although I certainly never liked him, I completely DESPISE him here, which just goes to show how great of a job you did with that!

Everything flowed nicely as well, the description was great, and there weren't any spelling issues either; well done! I did notice two very small grammar issues, but they were really tiny and they didn't affect my understanding of the piece at all.

The first one was here: "Is when you've done somethin' but you gotta prove that you didn't do it?" You don't really need a question mark at the end of that sentence, a period or even an exclamation mark would be better.

The second one: "Theodore hand shook slightly as he made Neville do a cartwheel" Here, there should be an apostrophe and an 's' on the end of Theodore (Theodore's). Like I said, neither of these things are big at all, in fact, they're hardly noticeable... I just thought I'd point them out so you can fix them (in case you hadn't noticed them)! :D

Anyways, amazing job, dear! 10/10!!

Author's Response: Hello again!
Ooh thank you! I'm glad to hear that you think it's original! :D
You don't understand how much I loved to hear that you completely despised Amycus in my story! This makes me so happy! :D
Oh yes, I don't need a question mark and there should be an 's' at the end of Theodore, thank you for pointing that out! :D
Thank you so much for reviewing again! :D


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Review #10, by academica Innocence

4th October 2012:
Hi there! I'm stopping by from Review Tag :)

So this is a pretty strange genre combination, but I'd say you pulled it off! I really like how you characterized Amycus as being this really twisted individual. He reminds me a little of Bellatrix, but his madness seems to have a more coherent quality in places, so I don't feel like you just copied her characterization over onto him. I also like the dynamic between him and Neville. This is a good way to show how Neville grew up over this year.

This is tiny, but I like how you made that tiny reference to Draco. Sometimes, because his life diverged significantly from those of his classmates after his fifth year, I forget that he would still have been a student during this time, and that he would have been expected to take classes like the rest.

The one thing I was a little confused about was the ending. You made reference to the DA earlier in the piece, so I don't quite understand the significance of those last two lines -- was it just that he found a way for them to meet without being captured? I think it would have had a little more impact for me if you hadn't mentioned the DA at all until the end.

Nice work! :)

-Amanda

Author's Response: Hello there!
Yeah, I just remembered that I did that weird combination. It was originally going to be an all humour fic, but it just lacked that I guess? I don't know how to word it. :p
Whenever I read Amycus, I always felt like he was a little mad - so I'm glad that I pulled it off! :D
Glad you liked the reference to Draco, you can't have a Hogwarts era fic without him! ;)
The ending was when Neville hides in the RoR and then Harry, Ron and Hermione find him a little later. Maybe I'll go back and try to get rid of the mention of the DA in the first place, it does seem like a better idea. :)
Thanks for reviewing and thanks for the tips! :D


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Review #11, by PhoenixPulse Innocence

3rd October 2012:
Hey-hey, lovely! I decided to come and read some of your stuff I hadn't read yet. I decided to go ahead and start off by reading this one.

First of all, I love how you used Amycus Carrow in this, instead of going for the more "overrated" Death Eaters. It was nice for a change. Only, I didn't find Amycus as scary as I imagined him to be. The story just didn't feel dark. It was a good one-shot, don't get me wrong, but it didn't have that darkness I was looking for. Out of all the wonderful pieces I've read from you, I'd say this one was your weakest. Not bad, but not at the same level of awesomeness like you usually pump out.

No, I didn't come here to tear your heart -- gawd, hopefully I didn't. I still love you! Forgive me if my words ended up being harsh, *braces for intense dramatic outcome*

So let me point out the positives!

Two words: Theodore Nott.

I honestly love it when people portray him as a good guy. It brings in more depth into the Slytherin House and shows that despite their bloody history, there were loopholes in the system and people made exceptional cuts and broke tradition. To be honest, even though we never knew much of Nott in canon, I truly do think he was different. Being raised by his single father and being able to see threstals, I truly think it was his mother who he witnessed die, and he was a kid of solitude apparently, back in school. He didn't really mix with Draco and his gang much. And he was never asked to recruit with the Death Eaters either, so it's nice to see Theo portrayed in good light.

Anywho, enough about Theo. I liked the way you characterized Neville as well. Being strong minded. A fighter. He really did do Gryffindor house proud, and justified the cursing of his parents.

So yeah, overall it was a good read. Not bad, but good. Hopefully this doesn't come out as offending. I wasn't aiming for you too feel gut wrenched at all.


P.S.

I read your response to my last review, and I totally understand about how things are about to get busy, and that this is your most important year at school. I can relate with all the priorities, so no pressures on ya', just don't dissapear on us alright? :D

Much love,

Pearl :D

Author's Response: HELLO AGAIN! :D
Yeah, Amycus is hardly used in fics, I thought I'd give him a go. :p
OH MY GOSH YOU HATE ME NOW!
I'M GOING TO STOP WRITING FOREVER! D:
I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! :'(
Jokes, I totally understand. I didn't really like this story, it was for a challenge and I wanted to challenge myself. :p But I don't think I can 'do' horror/dark. It does feel weak to me, but I thought I'd give it a go at least once. :)
I don't think I'll be doing horror/dark for a while - maybe one day when I'm better at writing, but for now I'm going to stick to what I know! :)
I've never really perceived Theodore to be a 'bad guy' (probably because I've read so much fanfiction :p) and having him mean didn't fit with me. So I thought I'd go with fanon idea of Theodore. :)
I'm glad to hear that I portrayed Neville well! I was so nervous because he's such an individual character.
It wasn't offending at all, any criticism is welcomed! Anything to improve my writing is always a plus. ;)
I won't disappear don't worry, I'll probably go on just before I go to sleep but I may not respond to reviews, I always get so distracted when I start to respond to them. :p And I can't respond to them on my phone, which is always frustrating - otherwise these reviews would have been done hours ago!
I must say, if your name is Pearl, that's absolutely amazing! It's such a pretty name! :D
Thanks for another review! :)


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Review #12, by adluvshp Innocence

28th August 2012:
Review Tag!

This was a nice little fic. I liked the way you portrayed Carrow, he was really stupid yet cruel. Neville was good, brave and loyal, and I liked how you led this to the discovery of Room of Requirement as his hiding place. I liked your writing, it was light yet had substance. Good work!

Cheers!
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Thank you so much!
I'm glad you liked this fic, it was just a little something to try and break my writers block :)
Thanks for reviewing :D


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