What a very interesting first chapter! I loved how you started it! It really seemed like we were back in that time but instead it was just a dream, one that harry had had years ago but was somehow coming back to him. I thought you had Harry down pretty well! During the fifth year of his schooling, he was a lot easier to anger and he knew that it was stupid but for some reason he couldn't help it, so I thought that was really nice that you included this bit of canon into your story. I really only saw one mistake but it was just accidently having a t instead of a y at the end of a word. The only other suggestion I would make for this chapter is maybe to put a break line inbetween his dream and him waking up, but its not a huge deal if you keep it like it is, I found it easy enough to follow. I think this first chapter was very interesting, and makes me wonder how exactly this dream is going to come into play with the story. I'm really excited to see where you take this! Great Job!
~Slytherinchica08~Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review! Please continue to give your feedback for the other chapters, they are greatly appreciated! Glad I'm living up to expectation so far.
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I`ll admit i was little skeptical at first
but now im addicted! please keep
writing!Author's Response: Ha, glad to hear I persuaded you. More on it's way! If there's anything I could change in the beginning that would attract readers sooner, let me know! I'd love to turn more skeptics onto this story. :)
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glad to see you're back and re-writing your first story :)
i've been anticipating it and now it should be even better than before , i'm excited hahaAuthor's Response: Hey nate!
It is turning out to be quite different, indeed. Re-working the whole thing with a little more experience in writing under my belt. I hope you keep checking back to see how you like it!
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