I'm here with your review. :)
First off, I was giddy while reading this. I liked the attention that George relishing on Hermione. I thought it was cute and I wish Hermione had felt the same way. I'm going to go ahead a say it. PLEASE continue with this story. I can see it developing into a cute love story. Ok, now that that is out of the way, it's time to get down to business.
I have SO many questions after reading this first chapter (which I hope is first of many). Why did Hermione react this way? I think this chapter would do well with a little explaination to her behavior such as it was weird to think of him this way after her and Ron's relationship. Or was it just awkward because she had grown up thinking him as a brother? Why was she so bothered by the attention George was paying her??
Next, when Harry and Ginny first spoke to Hermione, was Harry joking about the seats or did they not realize it was Hermione? I stopped to think about that while reading so I thought I'd mention it to you.
When the ceremony actually started it seemed a little short to me. It could have been lengthened by maybe mentioning "Hermione's thoughts drifted as the ceremony proceeded but her attention was directed again to the couple when the minister asked." That is just an example. My wording isn't great but hopefully you get the gist of what I'm trying to say. I just think it is a little choppy at the moment.
I think it is a great start to this story. I really hope you continue to write on it because I really like this pairing because there is so much unexplored and awesome ideas for this couple. It needs some more love. :)
Until next time!!
MegAuthor's Response: Meg,
Thank you so much for taking your time to read and review this. I am so glad that you like it and I knew that if I asked you, you would give me great feedback. You really brought somethings to mind that could use a little change here and there to clarify. I really do try to edit, but it always seems like I miss something or some detail that should be added. I am glad that you mentioned what you did in this review because it really gives me a direction on how to not only make the changes that are needed, but on how to progress forwards.
Hermione was bothered by the attention because she has always thought of George as a brother and well he's Ron's brother. It feels a little odd to her that she is getting this attention from him. It is almost like "why now are you paying attention to me when you've known me for how long?" She's caught off guard.
Yes, Harry was joking when they walked up to Hermione. He wanted to surprise her. =)
I am glad that you like the pairing and that you are definitely interested in reading more. I was really worried that this pairing would turn people away because of it not being the "normal" ship.
I promise that when chapter 2 is posted I will re-request. Thanks for the awesome feedback again!!!
-SR17 Report Review
Please keep writing:) you are a really good writer & I would LOVE to know what happens next!Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I will be updating again in about a week or so. Thank you for the wonderful compliments! =)
-SR17 Report Review
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