I am shuttering at the scene you have described. If Tom had known when the first twin wand burned him, that it would be the wand of his destructor, he would have broken it. But being a 10 yr old, he didn't know. I know you need to show when various witches and wizards received their first wands, but I thought Riddle found out about the connection before this point. After the duel in the graveyard, he should have known Harry's wand was his twin. This does explain why Tom took Lucius's wand before the Sky Battle. Still didn't do him any good. Perhaps the connection between Harry and Tom was changed after Wormtail used Harry's blood to bring Riddle back. He was doomed from the start. No wonder Riddle was feared by all.
FoMAuthor's Response: Hey FoM,
Thanks for your review and your comments, I always love hearing your thoughts on the story.
I understand your comment on whether Riddle would have known that Harry's wand was the twin from the graveyard duel, but I don't think that's the case. If he'd known it then, he'd have used a different wand in the battle at the ministry in book 5, but he didn't. Also, Ollivander was taken due to his knowledge of wandlore and there was that flashback in book 7 where Riddle shouts saying something like "you told me to use another's wand." Therefore I took that to mean that Ollivander was taken largely because Riddle didn't understand why his and Harry's wand wouldn't work on each other.
Thanks again for your review and I hope you like the next chapter, it's a little lighter than this one Report Review
Love your stories. Please keep them comingAuthor's Response: Thanks!
This next chapter has been a little long in the writing, plus I've had a few computer problems. It's about 60% done but there is a little section that is proving very hard to write. I tentatively hope to have it up by the end of the week. Report Review
It was lovely. At least remembering his first encounter with Lily, took his mind away from the torture that Bella was inflicting on him. I do want to make a correction. The date you have July 31st 1980, is actually Harry's birthday. In DH, the Godrics Hollow chapter it listed both James and Lily's birthdays were in 1960, on their headstone, Lily in January and James in March. So I think Lily would have gone to Diagon Alley in 1961. Otherwise I did enjoy this chapter. That Lily had a Phoenix wand was a great connection. Though it must have been another Phoenix, as Fawkes only gave Ollivander 2 feathers. I do hope that writing this chapter will lead to writing more,
FoMAuthor's Response: Hey FoM,
The choice of it being Harry's birthday when Lily went was a deliberate one, but the year is clearly wrong. I'll get that changed. I hope to get the next chapter up a little sooner than this one took. I find it hard to combine work with writing, but I'll do my best.
Thanks for your support Report Review
Ollivander's loyalty to Harry is touching, and Bella's treatment of him in this first section is sad to say the least. Poor Ollivander, when he passes out muttering about Harry and his mother's eyes I did feel terrible for him.
I adore your description in this part - It had been so hot that Ollivander had abandoned his usual waistcoat and necktie, instead he was slumming it in his shirtsleeves . I do like Ollivander in his interaction with Lily, and his comment about the heat addling his brain.
Lily is just... cute in this. Her innocently pointing the wand at her father and then Ollivander's lecture at her to do only good was lovely. And his comment about her charm work (reminds me of Slughorn's comments and the fishbowl Lily enchanted).
ERMAGHERD I can't believe you just brought James in! All of the happy! Ha - Awful first impression!
What you've done with this is great and I can't believe this fic hasn't gotten more attention. I eagerly await your next update :-)Author's Response: Thanks so much for your kind reviews, they really mean a lot. I am not very good at updating promptly but I'll do my best. Report Review
I like the history of the war that you're adding in - that the Death Eaters required disposable wands, and that the 'good' side had been deprived of his skill.
I can easily imagine Ollivander having such professional pride that he wouldn't make a bad wand, even knowing what the wands are being used for. This is the man who can remember every wand, after all.
I'm so enjoying all the wandlore you've put in here - you've clearly done a lot of research and put a lot of thought into it. Your characterisation of Bella is, I think, spot on. Her dialogue is just-that-right mix of babyish/horror. I love that she's not just going for the physical torment, she's also in for the psychological battering.
Bellatrix as a child was great - she's appropriately polite but there's still something strange about her (I think it's that she is so polite and because you've specifically mentioned the Slytherin colours).
Such an inversion to hear Walburga say that Bella will choose the wand, not the wand her!
Bella's tiny rebellion after Voldemort's said not to harm Ollivander was chilling - "I will tell them you tried to run."Author's Response: Thanks again, I really appreciate the praise you're giving here. I really enjoy writing Bellatrix, she is as much a delight to write as she is evil. Report Review
Ollivander crawling across the floor to Peter and refusing to stop telling his tale was just so... pathetic and sad, like he's been locked up so long with only himself for company that he will cling onto any breathing thing that comes through the door.
It's so strange to think of Peter as a scared little boy needing mothering. And his mother seems very loving, maybe to the point of over-mothering, but I may be mixing that up with her concern for her distressed child and the memory of her husband. And oh gosh, his father was killed by Death Eaters? Nice touch.
It's interesting that Peter's wand didn't shoot out sparks or make an obvious sign when it chose him, but that it calmed him. This bit - the nervous boy who seemed scared of his own shadow and even more scared of the notion of growing up to become a wizard and the man before him, his emotions out of control, unable to get an unarmed old man to do what he was told. - I loved it. It just sums up what a pitiful creature Peter has become (what Voldemort's turned him into) but I can still feel sympathy for him as that scared little boy.Author's Response: I have never liked representations of Peter's mother that I have read as she has always been nasty - and that has been used as an excuse for Peter turning out the way he did. I always imagined her like she is in this chapter. Report Review
I really enjoyed this chapter.
You get right into the thick of it. I like how you've written the Death Eaters in and their wanton destruction. This bit here - Satisfied, he then shouted "Morsmordre!" releasing the Dark Mark into the night sky. - I think it was the inclusion of the Death Eater being 'satisfied', but it makes me think that the Death Eater is indeed proud of what they've done here, which I thought was a nice touch.
I loved Ollivander's grand understatement - "You could have knocked." Author's Response: Thanks! Its obviously a very different chapter from the rest, it was fun to write some action. I hope you like the rest Report Review
That is one nasty female. I wonder where she got her sadistic streak? Breaking in a wand in such a cruel way can only bring the caster to a bad end. Well Ollivander also made the wand that brought her down! That was one one my top favorite parts of DH! I do love the memories though. I wonder who will be next?
FoMAuthor's Response: Bellatrix is always fun to write isn't she, wonderfully nasty character! Thanks for your review, and keep reading :) Report Review
A very interesting chapter. You gave us a different insight into the Rat, may he roast in he%& ! I was truly revolted when the wand that chose him, was similar to that of Professor McGonagall. I guess he, like so many others, had a chance to go the right way, but took the left. I was also glad that the memory was the major part of the chapter. The less said about the dire straights he was in the better.
Keep it going,
FoMAuthor's Response: My reasoning for giving him that wand was both that he had the chance to go the right way, but also that Peter must have been good at Transfiguration to become an animagus. He was not very talented at anything else so maybe his wand helped him along his path to rat-hood.
I hope to have the next chapter up soon. Hope you stick with it! Report Review
I am intrigued at the memories that Ollivander has. I think the concept has merit. I'm sure he let the adventures of the Good Wizards and Witches he had sold wands to, take him away from the horror of his imprisonment. He was always one of my favorite part of the HP series. I can only dream of that which resides in his mind. I look forward to what the future chapters bring.
FoMAuthor's Response: Thanks a lot, your review means a lot to me (and not just cos it's the first one). I hope you like the rest of the story Report Review
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