Reading Reviews for We are Villains
  
14 Reviews Found

Review #1, by u_got_RavenCLAWED We are the Villains!

29th September 2013:
Haha. What's up with Voldemort and decaf? And I.C.E.C.U.B.E.? Why didn't anyone nominate this or something? It deserves it.

Author's Response: Thanks! this was my favorite piece of writing I wrote.

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Review #2, by PhoenixFlame8629 We are the Villains!

5th December 2012:
This was really good! I liked the combination of all of the villains from mainstream media, and I loved the thing with the decaf coffee. :) Good job!

Author's Response: Thanks so much! the decafe was my favorite!
Keep reading!


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Review #3, by adluvshp We are the Villains!

22nd November 2012:
Tag!

Haha this was a fun little read. I loved your plot idea of bringing all the villains together. The way you characterized all of them was cool too. The meeting was written in a hilarious way as well.

The only CC I have for you is that your spelling and grammar was a bit off in many places. Maybe you should look into it... apart from that, it was a fun read.

Good work!

Cheers!
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: thanks so much for reviewing!!!


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Review #4, by someone___1 We are the Villains!

13th November 2012:
L.O.L. What the heck?! This was so ridiculously silly. I'd love to see a sequel! :) Have you considered that? Maybe actually have them take over the world?

Author's Response: Actually I have! And soon. But they are not taking over the world yet though... maybe the mall?
Thanks for the lovely review!
Keep Reading!


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Review #5, by shadowycorner We are the Villains!

12th November 2012:
Hey, here for the tag.

I really enjoyed reading this as it was unique and funny. The ICECUBE acronym as well as the egos of the villains clashing really cracked me up. Darth Vader and Voldemort bickering was a great thing, too.

You should check over your stories, though, at least once or twice before posting it. There were lot of easy errors you'd surely notice upon second reading, like repetition, letters missing, etc. Also, I think the lion's name is Aslan, not Alsan.

Other than that nice job. :)

Author's Response: Thanks, I will go over my stories. I just don't have much time...
Well,
Keep Reading!


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Review #6, by Jchrissy We are the Villains!

11th November 2012:
Hi there!

This was definitely a nice little comedy piece. I really enjoyed your choices of Villains to include. Specifically the White Witch, because I think she's often forgot about as a Villain.

All of the characters opinions on who they wanted to take down first was a really nice addition, and I loved the fact that they really just couldn't get along. I mean, come one, we have some of the most evil people ever in one room, it was bound to take a turn for the worse :P.

I know I've commented on this before, but I do really think it would be worth it to watch your grammar and punctuation. As a reader, we want to see that you care about your writing, even if it's just a funny one shot, and the best way to show that is to polish the punctuation (mainly dialog). The forums have a lot of awesome tutorials if you aren't sure about some things!

I always love a nice comedy, thank you for sharing! :)

Author's Response: Thanks! I will try hard to fix my grammar, I just don't have time right now, I am very busy with school.

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Review #7, by MissMdsty We are the Villains!

10th November 2012:
Hey there fellow Gryffindor! Found this story through the "review" thread. =)

I laughed so hard reading this! ICECUBE. :D This is priceless. And even though it's a humor fic you captured their little personality quirks perfectly.

My fav lines were:

"Darth Vader?" "*weird breathing noise*"
and
"What more can we ask for?" "A better name"

I think this was really original and very well written. =)

XoXo

Author's Response: Thanks! It took me a while to come up with ICECUBE. I kept on going through random words. It was horrible. But looks like it paid off. :)

I am glad you liked those two lines! I thought they were awesome myself.

Again, thanks so much for this lovely review, and.
Keep Reading!!


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Review #8, by Illuminate We are the Villains!

2nd November 2012:
Hi! Tag!

This is a really fun oneshot, a nice crossover of loads of wildly varied fandoms. Mojo Jo Jo! Ha! I love that guy. I think a description of them going on a wild adventure would be really fun to read.

I would suggest putting in a bit more description, as there is a lot of dialogue in here, I would suggest putting in more detail so it's a little more balanced :) There are a few spelling and grammar mistakes too, so I would suggest getting a beta reader over at the forums :)

Good job overall! 6/10.

Author's Response: ahh... the power of review tags... :D

I liked this one shot alot. :D One of my better ones, if I do say so my self... :P

I know I need more description, and DETAILS!!! :O Most of the time I have so much details to write I don't know where to start, (Which is why my essays at school are SUPER long) But lately, I just can't find insperation. All my chapters are getting shorter and shorter.

I have a beta reader for one of my novels, so I might get one for all of my one shots. I am not sure yet.

Thanks sooo much for this review!
Keep Reading!


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Review #9, by JJFuzzyhead We are the Villains!

27th October 2012:
"I ORDERED DECAF!"

You know I did.

Author's Response: Another reviewer!
And that was my favorite line. :D
I just edited the story, so re-read it in a few days!
Keep Reading!


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Review #10, by MargaretLane We are the Villains!

27th October 2012:
I actually laughed out loud at the idea of them being on the dark side of the moon.

I think you could expand a bit here and there. There are parts that seem a bit rushed, like "suddenly everyone started fighting." It might be better if you gave a more detailed description of what happened. Something like "the white witch fired a spell at Lord Voldemort. He ducked and glared at everybody. Who dared attack the Dark Lord at his own meeting? "Avada Ke-", he began, but he was interrupted as Darth Vader's light sabre hit him", etc. Probably not a great example, but it should give the general idea.

The part about the coffee was rather amusing - the way it goes from a major fight to them just arguing about not getting the right coffee.

And typical of Voldemort to kill somebody for bringing the wrong coffee.

Author's Response: Hey Margaret!
You know what? Your example is really good! I think I would edit my story and add more detail. :D So, thanks!
The coffee part was my favorite to write. :)
And it is very typical of voldemort to kill joe because of the coffee mix up.

Thanks so much for this review!
Keep reading!


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Review #11, by javct We are the Villains!

17th October 2012:
javct45 here with your requested review (oh, also review swap! - may as well hit two birds with one stone aye?)


What you did good? YOU MENTIONED MOJO JO JO, OH MY GOSH HE WAS THE MOST EVIL VILLAIN WHEN I WAS A CHILD! MOJO JO JO WAS LIKE DARTH-VADER AND VOLDEMORT MIXED INTO ONE (even though he didn't do anything that evil now, looking back at it :P)

Anyway, I like the mix of the villains. You kept them all within well-known fandoms (Cause, let's face it; who didn't watch the Powerpuff Girls as a child?).

Things you may want to work on: there were quite a few spelling errors (nothing a quick once over won't fix) and missed spaces (example: "WHAT?"Voldemort said - you missed a space between the quotation mark and the next word) and there were /a lot/ of unnecessary capital letters; honestly, there are too many capital letters in this story.

One more thing (last one I promise), just a small grammatical mistake that I picked up on. After a exposition (!?) you don't use a capital letter. Don't worry, I used to do the same thing until a kind reviewer pointed out my mistake and I didn't believe them until I looked over my Harry Potter books and noticed it. So for example this:

"And This ISN'T THE MOCHA I WANTED!!" Cried Darth Vader.

Would be this:

"And (this) ISN'T THE MOCHA I WANTED!!" (cried) Darth Vader.

This story is defiantly a good parody but I would suggest giving it a once-over just to fix up the mistakes; might I even suggest getting yourself (if you haven't got one already) a beta? Being one (or a failed one) myself and having a beta I can vouch for their helpfulness to pick up the mistakes that we, as authors, tend to not-notice. There are many beta's on the site that would be willing to help you; they're all lovely people and are just amazing a beta-ering.

Jasmine, x

Author's Response: Wow, a long one!
First off, thanks soo much for this awesome review!
I loved the powerpuff girls. My sister still watches it, and I thought mojo jo jo was the best villain there. Him freaks me out. He is a weird half boy half girl lobster dude. Freaky!

I have a problem with capital letters. I am better with them now, but I just didn't get a chance to edit this story. :P I will soon though!

Thanks!
~Phoenix


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Review #12, by EverDiggory We are the Villains!

15th October 2012:
I wish I could be of more help but e only movie I've seen including these characters is Harry Potter and Narnia? It was the white queen, correct?

The thought of Voldy drinking decaf is hilarious though, I'll give you that!

xx

Ever

Author's Response: Yes, The white queen is from narnia. :)
And Voldy drinking decaf is hilarious. :D
Thanks for the review!
Keep Reading!


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Review #13, by Drunaforever We are the Villains!

12th October 2012:
Haha I loved this! This was great, super funny too with all the villians and how they are so much like the evil guys (and girl) they are! I really enjoyed this, you should do more comedies!
XD Drunaforever

Author's Response: Thanks soo much! I do comedies pretty well, do I? :D I just loved that idea I had.
Thanks for the review!
Keep Reading!


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Review #14, by Danosycatwith7livesleft We are the Villains!

12th October 2012:
Hahahaa, Oh my gosh I actually laughed while reading this, I think it is a very good original idea and I love the characters you chose to use.
Top marks for originality.
But in the next chapter or so, I think it would be a good idea to maybe, (just a little bit of advice, feel free to ignore me :)), to do the chapters from different points of view, or maybe a different character per character.
This will give you a chance to explore their thoughts and their feelings and go more into depth, while this was good, I feel you could've gone deeper.
I think I suck at this critism thingy...
Anyway, my main point is that I loved this and I will be watching out for it :D
-Amz

Author's Response: I actually hoped for this to be funny, so thanks!
This is a one-shot, so no next chapter, but I might write a short story sequel! Maybe, who knows? :D

Thanks for the lovely review,
Keep reading!


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