Absolutely brilliant. I love this story!
Nice poster, too :-)Author's Response: Thank you so much :D I love the banner too haha Report Review
The emotion in this is... powerful. Really lovely piece you've written here. You've done a really good job displaying the emotions of your characters, you've got awkward and nervous Lily and then the emotionally wrecked Severus. The contrast between the two is easily recognisable and I think that adds even more to this.
I never really pictured this moment happening, I don't know why, but in my mind it never happened, so to read it was quite interesting. You did a really good job, and I think regardless of if it did or didn't happen you wrote it the way it would have been!
Great work!Author's Response: Haha this actually happened a million times, in a million different ways in my head. I'm terribly invested in this ship, you see. But thank you so much for the review I'm not even sure I deserve :')) I'm glad that it was able to convey something despite the obviously lacking word count ;o; Thank you! Report Review
I'm not really a fan of Snape/Lily, but I have to say, that was just painful. I cannot even imagine the heartbreak Snape is going through. To see the love of your life getting married...and then to have her invite you to her wedding...ouch. I think this line was great: "Another chapter ending, another battle lost." It sort of sums up a lot of Snape's life. He had such a hard and sad life. This was such an interesting style to write in! It was short and choppy, but so perfect for the story. It managed to carry emotion in it better than I think you could have done with paragraphs. It also seemed like the way Snape would think.Author's Response: Oh wow thank you so much! I know, it's a bit harsh. I wonder if it would happen in real life -- inviting your ex-boyfriend to your wedding? No thanks. I just think that Snape and Lily really needed some closure, you know? I don't think Lily would have left things hanging, and that there would be some finality to their relationship, though not the way either of them wanted. Thank you so much for this lovely review! I've been meaning to reply to it for a very very long time. Report Review
I'm not much for Marauder fics but this one was so very good. There is not much here, but what is speaks volumes. Every word has meaning and power, you can feel Snape break under the news Lily so kindly offers.
None of it is meant with malice but it injures him all the same. It almost shows why Snape is the way he is in the books. He is not without emotion, simply drained of it, having offered it all completely to Lily and been rejected. It didn't return to him, he became empty, and then after her death, hollow.
Such a simple and short conversation that completely dictated his life from that moment on. That changed the world even. For had Snape been able to change her mind, the future would have changed so completely.
I loved every moment of this, even though most of it is Snape being utterly destroyed, it is written so well that it just pulls you onward. You couldn't stop once she puts that letter on the table, not for your life.
Poor Severus. A life, not wasted, but certainly not lived from this moment onward. A fantastic piece of writing.
TyrannicFeenixAuthor's Response: wow I actually don't know what to say this is such a wondeful review :ccc I agree with the theory that Severus gave Lily everything, and that's why he was so devoid of affection for the rest of his life, but it only occured to me after you mentioned it. It is true though :c There are people who don't like Snape's character just because he still wasn't good and was a nasty bloke but I will never hold it against him. Perfect character. Thank you so much for the review, it really means the world! Report Review
wow, this broke my heart?? i've always wondered how snape found out about lily marrying james, whether quietly or in person. it almost seems more fitting that she would tell him herself even though she knew how much it would hurt him. hahaha look what you've done, i'm upset now. and overcome with emotion.
'A broken home. A lonely youth. A miserable adolescence.' this sums snape up so well. AND THE LAST TWO LINES. i can't i am dead.
for a very short fic, this packed a really big punch (mostly to the heart/chest cavity area). well done.Author's Response: i'm actually having such a hard time believing that this story .. worked lol. DON'T BE UPSET, IT'S JUST SILLY FICTION â¥ i'm so glad you took the time to leave a review because tbh it just makes my day. tysm tysm tysm â¥ Report Review
Oh my god this story needs a "rip your heart out and smash it on the floor" warning. Snape/Lily is sort of a warning in that direction, but this one, with that ending, is a hundred times more painful. Snape's line, so formal in its language and sincere in its belief, hit me like a cement truck, and I'm left speechless. Trying to write this much has been really hard, actually, but I'll keep blundering along, with many squees on the way.
What's perfect about this story is how you evoke a lot of powerful emotion with the bare minimum of words. You say more in a fragment than others could say in a paragraph. Yet you also include lines that deconstruct and recreate cliches, like how, instead of saying "his heart stopped", you say "He is certain that if he looked for it, he would not find his pulse." It has far more impact the way you've used it. The cliche has lost its meaning with overuse, so by rewriting it - making it more literal than metaphorical - you've made it new.
I wish this moment had happened in canon, though that's my Snily side showing through. To have them talk and reveal themselves to each other like this is more satisfying than canon - it suits Lily that she would do something like this rather than never speak to Snape again. And her words are also very realistic - the two of them are too different to be happy together, especially in the kind of world they live in. Snape still lives in a fantasy where he and Lily would be happily ever after, but she sees the sad truth - maybe she always has.
Gah, I didn't mean to ramble on like this. Before I make the review longer than the story, I'll just say that this was fantastic! That isn't surprising, since you're Meghna and that name means awesome. ;)Author's Response: SHALL I COMPARE THEE TO A SUMMER'S DAY? Ugh Susan your reviews are the worst ever and by worst I mean the best, obviously. I don't even know how to reply to this, look at what you've done!
Bare minimum of words is right. I couldn't get to a thousand words without causing some large-scale destruction. But powerful emotion? Really? I was worried that for an angsty Snily, it would be seriously lacking. But I'm so so glad you thought so. Hur I thought over that line about his pulse like .. four times over haha crying because you noticed it :3
I know, right? I feel like there was too little said about how it ended for them. Sure, that meant more ideas for fanfic writers, but CLOSURE. And yes, it was kind of hard depicting that Lily both wanted to be with him and didn't want to -- though that was only because they'd be terrible together.
RAMBLE ALL YOU WANT REALLY. Shhh *blushes and swoons* thank you so much Susan you're the best seriously â¥ â¥ Report Review
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