a great start! i love your dialogue, it's really smooth and realistic :D Report Review
Awesome I can't wait for the next chapter Report Review
Love it! Can't wait for next bit! Report Review
brilliant chapter!! Looking forward to next edition... Report Review
I have to say, I enjoyed this chapter even more than the first one. My favorite portion was the dialogue at the very end. It was hilarious.
Your characterization of James seems spot on. However, you portrayed Remus a bit differently than he appeared in the books. He really didn't seem to mind that James was about to hex Severus in class. I felt like he should have tried to talk James out of it. Also, I expected Lily to express a bit more anger when Remus admitted that James had asked him to tell her about his exam grades. Her reaction seemed a bit delayed.
Other than that, wonderful job!Author's Response: Haha yeah I liked writing this one more too ;) The bit between Marlene, Lily, Mary and Dorcas you mean?
Yes I so badly wanted to get James right, it's one of the things I concentrate on. With Remus I think he struggles to control his best friends- and while maybe he should have said something, I think he was more bothered about concentrating on his work at that point.
Yes, Lily's delayed reaction was definitely something I regretted when reading it back again but I wanted to make the bit between her and Remus more lighthearted because she would have been angry with James, not Remus.
Thank you for your review! x Report Review
First of all, I really enjoyed the short, humorous phrases that you added here and there. They definitely made the chapter more interesting and seemed to capture James and Sirius' personalities perfectly. However, I noticed that Dumbledore's start of term speech was almost identical to that found in one of the books (I don't remember which one). Try to add your own original ideas in Dumbledore's speech. Overall, nice job!Author's Response: Thankyou :)
Yeah I definitely struggle with writing Dumbledore for sure, but I don't think it was really that essential to the story. I doubt James and Sirius would have listened to the speech much anyway, but if I go back and edit chapters I'll make sure to change that and make it more original.
Thankyou for the constructive critiscism though- it's much better to get stuff like that rather than just an "I like you story" :) x Report Review
I love this story. Great job. :) I can't wait to read the next chapter.Author's Response: Thankyou!! It should be up soon :) I'm still getting the hang of this...xxx Report Review
Alright! Out of all the Marauders at Hogwarts fics I have read, this may be the best, i am serious. You particularly captured the attitudes of James, Sirius, and Remus quite well, the ongoing humorous banter was fantastic.
I look forward to an update, and i favoriting you and the story!Author's Response: Thank you so much! xxx Report Review
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