Reading Reviews for Zabini Manor
  
9 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Ju Hana The Party

7th October 2013:
I totally drooled reading this!! Superb!

Author's Response: Ju Hana,

Thank you for the review. It is just pick me up I needed. I'm glad you enjoyed this story.

Megthechef43


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Review #2, by Dark Whisper The Party

25th September 2012:
Megthechef!
This was so adorable that I found myself squealing like a school girl several different times.

Your title grabbed me as I just HAD to read about Zabini Manor!

You had me laughing from the start saying that Ginny was trying to kill her with those spike heels. LOL! XD

And "liquid courage" also had me laughing.

I LOVED how the invitation glowed when it was time to go to the party and LOVED the floating trays. Those were wonderful magical elements and very creative.

I also loved how you mentioned that they wanted to throw a party like that as a slap in the face to their parents. You are so right about that and I thought it fit really well. But as Dramione fan, I LOVE the 'other' reason why they had that party... to get her in the same room with Draco. Gah! And then he actually admitted to her. Awe! :D

And I loved the "Looking for someone" conversation they had. (Squeals). And when he touches her back... (squeals again).

And then there was the part when he confessed to Blaise that he was losing his courage. Awe... that was sweet.

And I loved how you mentioned that Harry and Ginny were about to tear the place apart looking for her. So funny and just like them to be very concerned and ready to battle for her.

It was so wonderful that they woke up together. Yes... I can totally see how she would remember that night forever.

Great job, Meg! I hope you win this challenge. It was truly an enjoyable read. I loved it! Great job.

10/10 for squeal factor. :P
Dark Whisper

Author's Response: Dark,

Thank you for this kind review. I'm so happy to read that you enjoyed this little one shot. It was fun to write and hopefully something a tad bit out-of-the-ordinary.

I think we have all needed a little "liquid courage" at times. LOL

Hehe... I think having a party like this with all magical folks no matter what blood status would be mortifying to their fathers. I'm not a huge Lucius fan so over course I want to anger him in some way. Haha.

I love writing HP because of the magic. You can do anything and make anything enchanting. I LOVE it!!! Anyway... moving on...

I'm so glad you enjoyed this piece. As I said before, it was fun to write a goofy little piece like this.

Until next time...

Meg


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Review #3, by Elphaba and Boyfriends The Party

2nd September 2012:
Hi, Elphaba here with your requested review!

First of all, I think you definitely succeeded in writing a non-typical Dramione story. :) I like that Ron and Hermione seem to remain friends. I also think it's really interesting (in a good way) that he's paired with Lavender.

For the most part, your portrayals of Hermione, Harry and Ginny seem to stick pretty close to canon. The line, "Hermione wasn't big on popularity but she was big on friends," is spot-on, I think. This line made me laugh: "Apparently Ginny was trying to kill her or at a minimum break her leg." Ginny was definitely more fashion-conscious in the movies, and I can definitely imagine her wanting to help out a skeptical Hermione with party clothes.

I don't know if Harry would actually say, "Hermione, I think you shouldn't wear that." It just seems a little too controlling for him, even if he is taken aback by how revealing her dress is. It actually seems more like something Ron might say. :) I could imagine Harry asking something like, "Hermione, where's the rest of your dress?"

I really like that Draco and Blaise are making an effort to bring the disparate members of their generation together. I like that you write Draco as having already abandoned pureblood supremacy, rather than having Hermione change him. I also like that Zabini is paired with Astoria; as with Ron and Lavender this pairing makes sense.

The one quibble I have about Draco's portrayal is that the party is described as a "slap in the face to their parents." Draco's loyalty to his mother never wavered in the series, so I think changing "parents" to "fathers" might fit better.

This line made me really happy: "I know the past was rough but I would like to start over." I think its important that he acknowledge that he was a jerk at Hogwarts. :) I also like that you included, "They had indeed talked and they had argued a little," at the end. I would like it even better if you showed a little bit of this conversation, so readers get to see how they work things out.

From time to time, I did notice a few grammatical issues. One thing to watch is verb tenses. There are a few instances where a verb is written in present tense when it should be past tense. For example, "defeat" in the first paragraph should be "defeated."

There are also a few sentences that read a little awkwardly, like this one: "Tonight she had hoped to become someone she hoped he would talk to but not want in that way." I understand that she wanted to get to know Draco, but wasn't planning on romance -- I just had to read it over a few times to get that. I really like that Hermione isn't head-over-heels for Draco in this story, but just wants a chance to get to know him better! :)

I know from experience that it can be hard to catch stuff like this when you've been working on something for a while. Sometimes it's good to take a break for a few days and then go back through to clean up the awkward bits. :)

Overall, I really like that the characters are close to canon and that they're trying to bring their generation together. Good job! :)

Author's Response: Elphaba,

I'm sorry it has taken me so long to respond. I actually wrote out a super long response to your awesome review but then when I was previewing it I hit the backspace button and it was all gone. Lol. I got mad and gave up. Sorry.

Anyway, Thank you for the awesomely long and detailed review. I agree that I think it should be a slap in his father's face because his mother had all but changed sides in the war by the end. Also, I think you are so correct about Harry and what he might say about the dress. I thought it was a little odd when I wrote it but I wanted to make the point that it wasn't something that Hermione normally wears and it was a bit revealing.

I will definantly be editing this chapter soon. Again thank you so much for the awesome review. It makes many valid points about the chapter and it's problem areas.

Thank you!!

Megthechef43 aka Meg


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Review #4, by granger_ The Party

2nd August 2012:
LOVE this chapter... Though it was really good.. You did a good job 10/10. granger_

Author's Response: granger_

Thank you for the review. I'm so glad you liked this story. I was a little if-y about posting it but I'm glad I did.

Thank you again!

Meg


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Review #5, by Ginger Lust The Party

2nd August 2012:
I enjoyed this piece. Made me laugh a little. Each trying to get to the other.
Good job.

Author's Response: Ginger Lust,

I'm happy that you enjoyed it. It was fun to write and a little goofy but it is a light fun story.

Thank you for the review!

Meg


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Review #6, by Happy The Party

1st August 2012:
Yes, it was excellent! Thanks for sharing your talent!

Author's Response: Happy,

Aww Thank you!! It make me happy that someone thinks I have a little talent! :) Your review made my morning!!

Thank you!!

Meg


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Review #7, by MagicalMrMistoffelees The Party

1st August 2012:
I very much enjoyed this. I would love to know what happened in between the present and the previous seven years!

-- MMM

Author's Response: MMM,

I'm glad you enjoyed this story. I will have to think about writing more to the story. Thank you for taking the time to review.

Meg


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Review #8, by MajanMalfoy The Party

1st August 2012:
Nice. I never really likes one-shots, but this was actually pretty good. Just so you know, if you ever need a banner or whatev on TDA, I'm there. my name is MajanMalfoy.

Author's Response: MajanMalfoy,

I may have to take you up on that offer. I think that this story could use a banner. It makes me happy to read that you liked this one-shot.

Thank you for taking the time to write a review, it means alot to me.

Meg


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Review #9, by pottermaster97 The Party

1st August 2012:
loved this more!more!more!more!more!more!

Author's Response: Thank you for your review. I'm so happy that you liked this story. It was fun to write.

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