Here for your third review for the swap.
Aw this was a very dazzling piece of writing. I really, really loved your descriptions. There was so much imagery in it, I was completely captivated while reading. You literally brought Molly to life in the one-shot.
I liked the whole association with the cousin, and the shoes. It was a very cute fascination, and I liked how we saw it grow. There was almost a poetic feel to the narrative throughout and I absolutely loved that. The ending was really cute too with Arthur being there at a Muggle bar to release his worries and Molly dancing there. It was all quite believably presented.
All in all, this was another great piece of writing. I really enjoyed the story. It is simply beautiful! Great job!
(AditiDraco95)Author's Response: Hey there!
Aw thankyou so much! It's great to hear that you enjoyed the description in this, and that Molly seemed lifelike.
I'm a great believer in the power of a pair of shoes :P The bits with Cousin Florence were so much fun to write- all that kind of 50s glamour... Poetic? Wow that's so great to hear! I'm glad that you found the second half believable, as I'm aware it's not quite canon...
Thanks so much for another lovely review!
-Bethany Report Review
Hello! I’m here with your third out of eight reviews :D
Aw I felt quite bad for Cousin Florence, the way she was forced into marrying that man from the Ministry, and she couldn’t have a fun wedding, and the way she gave her shoes to Molly seemed to symbolise that she was giving up her dancing and passing on the mantle. It was a really poignant part of the story.
I never had Molly down as a dancer, but it was really adorable to see how affected she was by Cousin Florence, and how much dancing meant to her. It really showed what a young vivacious girl she was once, and it was almost sad to see her have to give up the dancing to be a parent and wife.
I really liked seeing how mesmerised Arthur was by her dancing, as it, again, reinforced how much Molly had changed from how we saw her in the books. She seemed so bright and happy that I almost wanted to really get to know this young Molly too. You really captured that tender first love people feel when they meet that person, and it was lovely to read.
I never would have thought they would meet in a muggle, as in my canon they got together at Hogwarts, but this worked well too, and it showed a more risqué side to them, and of course it fitted in with the dancing which was great.
This was another lovely one-shot from you!
-KianaAuthor's Response: Ahh I feel so bad- you've left me all these stunning reviews and I've taken so long to reply to them! This week's been kinda hectic (exams coming :/)
I'm not entirely sure where this idea came from- I just have a sort of head canon that Molly was bit more adventurous and risque before she settled down and got married...
I'm glad that you liked Cousin Florence- I certainly loved writing her! I do feel sort of bad about giving her a sad ending!
The POV change in the middle is something I was quite unsure about, it's good to hear nice things about Arthur! That feeling "tender first love" as you put it, is pretty much what I was hoping to evoke with this, so you can imagine how great it is to hear that! Yeah, I know that JKR kind of implies that they got together at Hogwarts, but I really wanted to write this idea! (I'm a great believer in the power of a pair of shoes :P)
It's so great to hear that you enjoyed this! Thankyou for another lovely review from you! :)
-Bethany Report Review
This is was really incredible one-shot, my fellow author. I've never really read a story that singled these two lovable future-to-be parents, so this was really... I don't know... it feels like this would be the way how they met.
Forgive my incoherence, I'm just wowed by the great detailing of Molly's childhood and the moment with Arthur as he noticed her... Just wow..
Keep up the great work. I love it. :)
From the review tag,
-AsphodelAuthor's Response: Aww thank you so much! I've never read much Molly/Arthur either, but I really enjoyed writing them in this.
So glad that you liked reading- thanks again for saying lots of lovely things :P Report Review
That was really good. I liked it. You don't see much of MW/AW as the main pairing so it was a nice change. It was sweet to. Good job =]Author's Response: Hello- I'm glad you enjoyed reading! I think that Molly/Arthur is a pairing which needs more love- I found them great fun to write!
Thankyou for your kind words :) Report Review
Hello, I'm here with your requested review and I'm sorry it has taken me a while to get here!
First of all, when you told me in your request that it's a Molly/Arthur story, I got really, really excited because I don't think I've ever read one before. And I am very happy this is my first because it's not quite your usual narrative. It's the kind of story with flowery language, stylistic techniques, and a gentle pace, making everything dreamy and pretty and interesting!
I think that the opening was just perfect. As children, all we really do is watch the people around us and want to emulate them, to grow up to be like them one day, even if we really haven't proper reasons, even if it's just about the dresses and the shoes and the music. I also like the concept of the shoes itself, how a pair can make you a better dancer, that it can bring you magic. I just love the way you described those things and was smiling at how simple and, at the same time, effective the tone and style throughout the story was.
I also really liked the bit where you mentioned how Molly was practicing her dance moves in front of the mirror and how her dormmates were reacting to that.
I didn't feel that there's any problem with the structure. The change in character was very obvious, yet, somehow, you managed to keep the same dreamy tone and make it work for the newly introduced character just as well as it did for Molly. And I think it's really nice that you showed us the bar part from Arthur's point of view; the way you made him think made things very interesting.
Now, onto characterisation! I really like the way you wrote the characters in here. You wrote young Molly as a child quite perfectly, you made her TRULY a kid. And the way you described Arthur was incredible as well; I enjoyed him more than Molly, for some reason. Maybe this is because I don't see the Molly in here become Molly Weasley, the affectionate mother of seven kids. But I am pretty sure that reality can always get in the way of making a dreamy story like this one continue to be dreamy until it's end.
All in all, I thoroughly enjoyed the story! It was a wonderful read and I'm very happy I got to come across it. Well done and thank you for requesting!
-MannoAuthor's Response: Hey there and thankyou for being kind enough to leave such a lovely review! So sorry it's taken me this long to reply!
Haha yeah- I've never written Molly/Arthur before, so I really wanted to get them right! I think they're such a fun pairing.
I'm glad you liked the opening because I did wonder at points if it was a little too fluffy. I just couldn't resist Cousin Florence's shoes either!
I'm so glad the change of character is alright, because I was quite unsure about it. It makes me really happy that you think I kept the same dreamy feel throughout!
Aww thankyou so much! I really enjoy writing from the perspective of children, so I'm glad Molly came off alright! I'm pleased that you liked Arthur because I found him much harder to write.
Hmmm yeah- it's an interesting point about the Molly in here compared to the Molly in the books... I just had this idea that she might've been a bit more fun-loving in her younger years so I though I'd try and explore that!
Thank you so much for taking the time to leave such a kind and helpful review! I'm so glad that you enjoyed the story!
-Bethany Report Review
Hello! I'm True Author with your requested review. =]
Usually I don't like short summaries, but I must say that "come and dance" is a perfect summary I ever saw! I am so impressed by it. honestly. its catchy and has something to do with the plot.
The second thing is, you've tried to write your story in a diffrent form. in present tense. that actually makes the story better.
There are a few small but barely noticeable grammar mistakes, still just fix them by yourself, they are not very hard to fix! write dialouges in inverted commas, because readers may think they are thoughts.
Otherwise a cute romantic story. =]
True AuthorAuthor's Response: Hello!
Thankyou for your review! I'm really glad that you enjoyed the story and I'm really pleased that the writing of it in the present tense comes off! I'm also glad you liked the summary- I wasn't too sure about it myself so it's good that you thought it worked!
Thanks for pointing out the grammar errors- I'll have a read through and try and pick them up. The reason I wrote the dialogue italics rather than inverted commas was because I was trying to achieve a sort of dreamy effect but if it just makes it confusing, maybe I was wrong.
Thankyou again for taking the time to review :)
- Bethany Report Review
I've never read Molly/Arthur, so this is a wonderful start for me. This was so sweet. I absolutely love them both!Author's Response: Thankyou! Haha I've never written Molly/Arthur before so I'm glad this came off okay. So pleased that you liked it, thanks for reviewing :) Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection