Augh, I feel terrible about not reviewing this before, because I'm about a month late! No matter, though: here with your promised review because you've entered (and completed) my silly challenge!
The description you have throughout here is just lovely. I can really picture Salem, even though I've, admittedly, never been there. My favorite line, for whatever reason, is this: "Violet mussels and chalky white clamshells crumbled to pieces beneath her feet." I think it brings up a wildly vivid picture, and that's marvelous!
Your writing, as always, is superb. I love the transitions and smoothness of it all, and your flow is just fantastic.
xx Rin Report Review
To see a new Snape/Hermione on the recently added list was a treat in itself, but to have one from you immediately meant it would be a great treat, the extra special chocolate sundae. This ship was such a weakness of mine, back in the pre-DH days, and I'm ready to come back to it - canon and all of those inconvenient details aside. ;)
The way that you've set the scene here drew me in right away - in a few paragraphs, you created the American magical world with all the deft that JKR used for Wizarding Britain. I especially liked Hermione's quip about American Magical Security and the way that American wizards and witches don't dress as formally as those in Britain, and the use of the public toilets as an entrance, and all the other little things you slipped into your descriptions. I didn't just see Salem as you've written it - your words actually took me there. Some cannot manage that after many chapters, but you've done so in an extraordinarily short time. Wow!
When Snape said that first line, I had to use all my willpower to keep from bursting into gleeful laughter. It was a perfect line, so like the old Snape of the early books - that sarcastic, swooping bat of a Potions professor. I'm itching to know what happened to him for all those years, and how he's become so... well, to use Hermione's word "smug". It's like he's happy to have been found, particularly by one of the trio, but why? I'm not sure what to think about his mood - first suspicious, then relaxed when he realizes it's Hermione - as well as his lighthearted reactions to her marriage to Ron (or at least her having a child with Ron) and her behaviour toward her. I want to know so much more! That's the problem. :P
I'm definitely looking forward to seeing what you do next with this story. There's so much here that has caught my interest and your style of writing makes for a fantastic read. :D Report Review
Hello -- here for the TGS review exchange!
I'm very glad we got paired this month. :) I've never dabbled much into Snape/Hermione fic, because the quality of most of it is... well, I'm sure you've come across the type I'm talking about! Even though I love reading about Snape, as he is one of my very favorite characters, I couldn't ever stomach those. But already in this story you've managed to inject believability into your plot (something none of those other stories ever accomplished), and moreover, your writing is good. If more Snape/Hermione stories were written as well as this one -- even only 1,500 words in -- then it's a sure bet I would have read more!
I love the setting you've chosen for this story, too. Not only do you describe things beautifully, even seaweed and candy wrappers and seagulls, but I don't think I've ever read a fic set in Salem. People seem to forget that there even IS an institute in Salem. :P And it seems somehow very fitting that, should Snape have survived the war, he would have fled there for a bit of peace. I'm not sure exactly why, but it seems very much like his kind of place, with all the fog, and the dull sea and sand.
I love Ron/Hermione, and so of course am rather sad to see here that their marriage is broken apart, but just because I ship them doesn't mean I'm not open to other pairings, if they're portrayed well. And, as I've already said -- yours is! I am very curious as to what Snape's explanation for letting everyone think he's dead is. And as to how he and Hermione get together in the end -- if, in fact, that is what you have planned. :3
I very much enjoyed reading this chapter! Really great work here, and I look forward to (hopefully) reading further chapters as they appear.Author's Response: I'm so glad you enjoyed this! (I have come across "that" kind of Snape/Hermione story in my travels and I think I know what you mean!) I have been putting some time into constructing the back story, so hopefully I will have chapter 2 in shape before too long.
I hope you continue to enjoy the story as it goes along! :) Report Review
First of all, I want to applaud you in how well this was written. Your vocabulary and descriptions are beautiful. I don't normally read stories with this pairing, but your writing pulled me into the story. What I also liked is your perspective on how a grown and divorced Hermione would have changed over the years. I think you added a more realistic side to her. I haven't seen much of Snape in this yet, but so far he is intriguing.
Keep up the good work.
eternalangelkissAuthor's Response: Thank you so much for your kind review. I hoped the characters would be realistic despite the completely invented situation. Cheers :) Report Review
Well, well, what do we have here? A Hermione/Snape and by the lovely Siriuslypeeved at that! And a fic I can start from the beginning with!
Well, let me start by saying I absolutely LOVED your description of the area. Having never been to Salem myself, it most definitely helps. Also, I think I might have choked a little on Snape's comment. It was perfect for him and had me chuckling. The death of Snape and Fred will always be the two I wish never happened.
And I do believe you already know I'm a closet shipper of Snape/Hermione. So I'm thrilled to see you writing one. I can't wait to read more!
LenAuthor's Response: Thanks Len! I did recall that you were a closet SSHG shipper *shifty eyed* I had a really good time with the descriptions of the area, so I'm doubly glad you enjoyed them. Thanks also for your comment on Snape's snarky dialogue ;)
Glad you enjoyed it and hope you continue to do so!
Mary Report Review
Snape? Alive? In America? Hold the phone!
I know I've told you this a million times, but I am so jealous of your descriptive skills. I love how real they are, and how well I can picture them without trying so hard.
Salem is a wonderful choice for the setting based on history alone. I imagine it was fun to write how the American wizards go about their business compared to the English. I usually don't read or find fics which are based across the pond, but I think I will love this one.
The end went a bit fast for me. I didn't expect her to stumble upon him so quickly, or that he would actually show himself - in classic Snape-like fashion. I did like Hermione's reaction - her shock, and disbelief, and the fact that he can still make her feel like she's a teenager again and he's standing over her in his Potions classroom. How can she be absolutely sure that this man is indeed Severus Snape?
I can't wait to see what else you have in store for us with this! I think you did a good job with this chapter :)
LiaAuthor's Response: Hi, Lia! Thanks so much for your review! Yes, this plot bunny was rather virulent and attached itself to Rin's challenge. :) Great point regarding whether she can be sure of his identity -- I will have to address that one. I also appreciate the comment that the chapter is a little rushed, it felt rushed to me too. Thanks so much for your comment on the description :) (that is something I love about your writing as well btw)
Mary Report Review
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