OMG *sob* This is depressing! I mean, I knew that she was tortured and all but it never occurred to me how horrible and painful and hopeless it would have been, you know?
But BAM!!! This is amazing Elaine! Youíve captured the last bit of her life amazingly. I felt it all, and I felt it strongly. The despair, the final attempts to cling onto life, the instinctual fight for survival, the final realization and the true nature of hope and death were beautifully portrayed in this story. Well done!!
There were no spelling mistakes/typos/grammar errors/vocabulary complications whatsoever so thatís amazing. Itís not everyday that I read a spotless fic ;)
Did I mention that I love the beginning and ending? No? OMG I LOVE THE BEGINNING AND THE ENDING. I love the way youíve started it off emotionally and ended it the same way. Itís just soÖ touching. Iím really really touched.
This goes without saying, I love this story. You had everything I was looking for, and all of them were portrayed way better than I would have done, so congrats :D
Weíll see how it goes ;)
*Hugs*Author's Response: I... you made me cry with your review! I never expected such a reply for this and I really was uncomfortable writing it but with all the help and everything, thank you so much for prompting me to write this.
it really is an honor to have you say that to me. It warms my heart greatly, and I simply can't describe what I feel.
thank you! Report Review
It's Rosie with your requested review! :)
So first off, I thought this was a very powerful one-shot. I might sound very creepy saying this, but I love reading stories where characters die. I especially love the way you conveyed the emotion, it was perfect. :)
I tend to pester authors frequently on detail, but your detail here was pretty much flawless! I could almost feel Charity's pain and her hopelessness, her change of surroundings, and her confusion. It was excellent. I think the best part of your story was when Charity was hit by the killing curse, that was the part where your detail was strongest. I actually felt as if I was seeing her die!
I just wanted to point out a few minor mistakes:
In her mind, she wanted to just stop the pain.
^I would re-phrase that to "In her mind, she just wanted the pain to stop."
but the tears felt good in some way. It cleansed her even a bit.
^That should be "but the tears felt good in a way, it cleansed her slightly.
The dim light of whatever place she was in was enough to blind her for a moment after being locked in the dungeons for so long.
^That seems like a run-on sentence. You should add in some commas and maybe change that to two sentences, just so that paragraph doesn't seem too long.
Overall, this was a very enjoyable one-shot. I really loved the detail and the mood, it was pretty much flawless! Keep up the great work! :)
~RosieAuthor's Response: Hello!
Thank you for reviewing, and I'm totally glad that I've kept up to your expectations! It warms my heart truly that somehow, I can manage to send the message across. Quite honestly, by the end of it, I felt confused too. But that's the point of it right?
I took notes of those you've said and I'll edit them in once I got my go on the queue! Thank you so much! Report Review
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