This was a good first chapter, I liked how you quickly identified Albus' fears and his animosity towards his brother :P It was quite funny! Meeting Scorpius was nicely done as well- and he didn't want to duel *rolls eyes at James*. Teaser. :P
CC- some of your sentences are a little long, and that tends to give a rambling impression. Sometimes simple sentences are good! :D
Great chapter overall :)Author's Response: Thank-you for the review. This story does still have some rough edges because of the way I originally wrote it, I appreciate your input on this. Report Review
H there :) nice start! I'm interested to see where you take this. Your writing is very clean and there are no errors I can see! I'm already loving Albus--he's so cute! The one thing I think you could is improve is Hagrid's lines. In the books, he has an accent. So, rather than "first years" he would say "firs' years" and rather than "your" he would say "yer". That would really give the Harry Potter feel :) Great job!Author's Response: Thanks, I think I'm going to change that too, you're not the first to bring it to my attention. ;) thanks for the review! :D Report Review
Hello! I came over from the Common room.
I really like your story! I think it could use a little filling out, but it is lighthearted and fun and I enjoyrd reading it!
KEEP WRITING :D
Shay_GryffAuthor's Response: thanks! :) Report Review
You know it's funny... I was actually kind of hoping for Slytherin. LOL! I love that Harry and the D.A. are legends at the school and are still talked about and looked up to. I also love that you're bringing back some of the old students as professors (fingers crossed for Neville in Herbology!) You are setting up the blooming friendship between Albus and Scorpius very nicely and I can't wait to see what happens next!
Keep up the good work!
~Moon~Author's Response: Thanks for both of the reviews :) Report Review
So history repeats itself... but with a twist! I'm really hoping this story is taking the path I think it is, because I would love to see Albus and Scorpius as friends. It seems as though James is taking after his namesake, a sweet boy who likes to stir up trouble now and then, but Albus seems to be a different story. I'm hoping that once he gets to Hogwarts he learns more about both of the men he was named after... and that just maybe being a Slytherin wouldn't be the end of the world ;)
Great start! And I'm off to chapter 2!
~Moon~ Report Review
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