So I'm here to review for the challenge, sorry its sort of been a really really long time since the deadline, real life has been busy lately with school starting, but I promise I'm getting through the entries little by little :)
Onto your story
I thought this was really cute, I feel like you captured Ron's sort of awkwardness when talking about the boyfriend talk, and at the same time he was totally accepting with everything, even though he was clearly shocked when he first found out who it was. The ending especially with Rose kicking of the ground right after she dropped the news on Ron. Very sweet.
If I had one complaint it would be that I would've liked a little more description. You have a lot of dialouge, but it would've been nice if you went into maybe some details about their surroundings, how they looked a bit more, even maybe a little paragraph about how the weather was really good for flying. I feel like it would enhance the story a bit more.
But over all you did great with the defying cliche concept, thanks for entering my challenge Report Review
A lovely story! I really like Rose and Ron's relationship and loved the lines "Ah, c'mon, Rosie, why not? It's not like you're dating the Malfoy boy or something."
Rose bit her lower lip and looked at him.
His jaw dropped open. "It's the Malfoy boy? Scorpius Malfoy? You're kidding!"
A nervous smile spread across her freckled face and she mounted her broom.
"See you in the air, Dad!" she said hurriedly. She kicked off from the ground and was out of sight in an instant.
My favourite bit!Author's Response: That was actually my favorite bit to write! :p Thanks so much for reviewing - I'm glad you liked it! :) Report Review
Awhh this was adorable! I could so imagine this happening, this was a really cute story!!!Author's Response: Thanks a bunch for reading and taking the time to review! :) Report Review
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful! I enjoyed this piece very much. And like the others, I love that you show Ron matured. He must have realized that if he could mellow and grow then Draco and his kid could have also.
I look forward to more of your stories. You write well.
Good job. Report Review
That was really sweet. It was nice to not see the insanely over protective Ron that populates most stories. Report Review
Aww this made me smile a lot- it was so sweet! And brought across a strong father/daughter relationship really well :)
You did a really good job of defying your cliche! I thought Ron's reaction to Rose's relationship with Scorpius was far more reasonable and realistic than you sometimes find. It was so nice to read a loving parent reacting level-headedly rather than flying off the handle, and to be honest, I think Ron is more likely to have reacted like this, especially in his middle age :P
I thought the first conversation that Ron and Rose had really sweet, the things he said sounded just like what a concerned father might say and want to talk about with his daughter. Also I liked that they had a special thing (the broom rides) that they did together, that was a nice touch :)
There were a couple of parts that made me laugh out loud- the bit where Rose told him she'd kissed her boyfriend and also the bit where she told him who her boyfriend was and then kicked off on her broom. Also loved the little bits of Romione- they really made me smile!
I did think that Ron was maybe acting a little overprotective when he talked about not rushing into things and getting hurt, but I suppose as they had such a close relationship, it was natural for him to want to be looking out for her. I also thought that it was a little bit cliche to have Rose having inherited her mother's brains AND her the Weasley Quidditch skills.
Still, this was a really well written piece with a very realistic and very sweet relationship between Ron and Rose, which I really enjoyed reading! I felt the last sentence really summed up the whole piece and was a great sentiment to have.
-Calypso Report Review
Wow! Ron was so great in this lovely story. Loved all of it, glad to get away from the same old scenes with Ron throwing a fit or worse. Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection