Happy Birthday darling!! I was looking of who to pair you with, but then I wanted to review all to myself, mwahaha.
This is sooo creepy! I had chills all the way out. It also really made me feel like a this was possibility of where Sirius and Regulus could have ended up if Regulus didn't die so young.
I really like that, despite being able to feel some sort of.. not regret.. I guess just pain from Thorfinn, I don't think he would have done anything else. One of my biggest dislikes is when Death Eaters are portrayed as too sympathetic. They signed up to kill people. They aren't secretly softies. And you showed that really well in this. Even though leaving his brother to die didn't seem like a piece of cake, it also didn't seem like he was going to kill himself slowly because of it.
Your flashbacks were very powerful. They enhanced without making me feel like I was disoriented.
This story was really just awesome. I hope you had a wonderful birthday!!! Report Review
AditiDraco95 from the forums here with your challenge review. (I am reading and reviewing all the challenge entries before I judge).
You have a nice little story here. I like how you took my challenge guidelines and created this scenario. Your plot was interesting. The characterization of Thorfinn was nicely crafted too, though I'd have liked to see more depth in his character. A little more insight into his personality would have been nice. Same goes for Egil. Perhaps a flashback or something highlighting on Egil and his relationship with Thorfinn would have been nice. It would have added more substance to the story overall and to the emotions. Besides, your grammar was a little off too.
Apart from that, I liked this. I am sorry I hope I wasn't too harsh, but I think you definitely have room for improvement and if you work on it, you can bring this story to top notch. Over all, this was a well-thought out and quite nicely written piece. The flow, narrative, and pacing was good.
Best of luck for the challenge results, I'll notify you once I release them.
AD :) Report Review
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