This is an excellent fanfic that you have so far. Your writing style ia great and I can't wait to read the next chapter. Update soon! Report Review
Please update! I love it! Report Review
I really like this story and you should keep it up!!! Its AMAZING it has the perfect amount of marlene and james siblingy relationship!!! also i love the hints at marlene/sirius (perfect couple if i may say so myself, my favorite shipping, ok now i'm rambling! hehe i tend to do that alot ;) but keep it up I LOVVVEEE IT! oh and please update soon!!! Report Review
intresting it's a good story Report Review
great story can't wait for the restAuthor's Response: Thank you for reading and reviewing! Report Review
I really like this story! It has a nice way of bringing the reader in, I think it has something to do with the way you write. It's really enticing.
There are some grammatical problems that might hinder the flow but the story line seems to be really good. I love your portrayal of the characters too.
Again, I really like this story. I'm an avid Marauders fan and I'm normally really picky when it comes to them, but you did a really good job with it :)
Keep it up!Author's Response: Why thank you! I hope you keep reading to see more of your favorite characters. I'm so glad you like it. I know it has some grammar and spelling mistakes, it happens. Thank you for reading and reviewing! Report Review
Well this chapter was interesting! Poor James, hopefully he finds someone till Lily comes around. Dorcas is hilarious! Haha she seems a bit crazy. I feel like Avery is gonna come back and cause some trouble with Marlene later on, guess we'll see! Another great chapter and I can't wait for an update(:Author's Response: He will find someone to take up some of his spare time, don't worry he has Potter swag. Avery might come back, I GIVE AWAY NOTHING! Thank you for reading and reviewing! Report Review
I'm going to make a very (not) difficult prediction. Lily Evans is going to be angry with Dorcas when she hears about this little incident! James is surprisingly insightful with Remus. I like that. Lily is completely shortsighted when it comes to James but this isn't too much of a surprise. Thanks for the new chapter!Author's Response: Lol, I can't tell you how Lily is going to react, but I will say that you'll enjoy it. James sees Remus the best. Sirius doesn't understand why Remus feels the way he does so he could get him as well. And Peter, well who cares about Peter? Lily is completely shortsighted with James, but then again a lot of people don't see what's right in front of them. Thank you for reading and reviewing! Report Review
Awww. I love this chapter. U have a gift for keeping the reader's attention. I can't wait to read the next chapter.Author's Response: Oh why thank you! Thank you for also reading and reviewing! I would be lost without you guys! Report Review
Awww. Poor Sirius. :( I love your story. Keep up the great work.Author's Response: Thank you! I will! I appreciate you reading and reviewing! Report Review
So good!! Love it...cannot wait for next bitAuthor's Response: Thank you for reading and reviewing! I will update as soon as I can! Report Review
Love this story, you are an amazing writer. I cant wait for the next chapter! 10/10Author's Response: Aw! Thank you so much! I will update soon! Thank you for reading and reviewing! Report Review
I seriously love this. I think the third chapter probably affected me the most - the talk between Marlene and Sirius was beautifully done. The rest is also fab. Looking forward to more - you have become one of my favourite authors. :)Author's Response: I'm so glad it got to you! Sirius is kind of a prick, only James and Marlene can really get through to him. I'm so glad you like my writing so much! Thank you for reading and reviewing! Report Review
Forgot to say this in my ch 4 review - the new banner is great :)Author's Response: I'm so glad you like it! It took FOR-EV-ER to find a banner I liked. Every time there seemed to be something wrong with it. Thank you for reading and reviewing! Report Review
I'm really getting into this. The writing is engaging and easy to read, as always. And, as always, I'm a huge fan of how incredibly fast you turn chapters out.
You've done a great job of developing a lot of characters quickly. We got a lot more of depth for Remus, Dorcas, and Peter without it seeming forced. Nice.
I'm a big fan of Remus so far. Consistent with his personality from the books w/o being predictable.
I still feel like I know the other characters better than James and Lily, and am still intrigued by that.
Lots of good lines in this chapter. My favorites:
"No, he was perfectly right you are stunning. I'm glad my son hasn't fallen for someone of less than decent taste." He released her hand. "It was nice to meet you."
"If you're going to fight." She reasoned, "You should fight for something." Peter and Sirius frowned, but Remus and James understood perfectly. James raised his sword, "I FIGHT FOR HONOR!"
"When in doubt Wormy," James snickered as he walked up. "Remember that either way you're going to hurl."
"I'm going to be a better friend than I was a boyfriend," He promised as he pulled her into another hug.Author's Response: I tried to write as fast as I can whenever I get ideas. James and Lily will progress more slowly then the other characters because their story takes longer than everyone else's. I'm so glad you liked those lines! The James one reminds me of my best friend. Thank you for reading and reviewing! Report Review
Oh, I love this story very much! I wanted to leave some reviews for the previous chapters, but I decided that I'll save it. This chapter was insanely cute and I love how Marlene was able to bring our favorite Sirius back!
Your style of writing is so flawless, and I am very jealous, yes indeed! Everything flows perfectly and each event builds up upon the other in synch. Everything just so...perfect!
And I love how you transition from different characters. I for one, love your Lily. She's not majorly uptight as many people envision her, but just like any other teenage girl. By far howver, my favorite is Marlene. You developed her nicely.
Anyways, up to chapter four now! I favorited, just to let ya' know!Author's Response: It is perfectly fine to save your review till the end. I'm glad you like it! That's so sweet! And with Lily i always thought that she would be uptight, but have a funny side, because why would James fall for someone without a sense of humor? I'm delighted that you like Marlene, because she's my favorite to write along with Sirius. Thank you for favoriting! Thank you for reading and reviewing! Report Review
I am more in love with this story than you will every believe! I do love the marauders and it feels like I'm reading an official J.K spin off or something; I'm enjoying it so much! Please continue, it's brilliant. :)Author's Response: I'm so glad you think that! And that is the biggest compliment I could ever receive! Thank you for reading and reviewing! Report Review
Loving this story! Cant wait to see what happens with Marlene/Sirius - he's my favorite. Question though, where does Marlene work? It sounds like a store of some kind but it wasnt specifically mentioned. I was just curious :-) Can't wait for the next chapter!Author's Response: Thank you! Sirius is my favorite character to write, I'm a little in love with him! Marlene works at a book shop. Which will come up again incidentally. Thank you for reading and reviewing! Report Review
What another great chapter! Poor Sirius, I'm glad Marlene was able to help him. Question, are you using all cannon characters? If so, that's remarkable. I can't recall reading a story with all original characters! I'm actually excited to keep reading! I'm curious to find out what happened with Remus and Marlene but I definitley think I'd support a Marlene/Sirius ship more, they're cute together. I also felt bad for Lily when she felt like she didn't have her own 'best friend' hopefully she see's that they're all her best friends! I can't wait for her to start noticing James (: Whoo this is long haha I'm pretty much a fan and will always review! I'll always be looking for that update! Excellent job!Author's Response: Mary McDonald was mentioned in Snape's flashback. Emmeline Vance, Marlene McKinnon, Alice Prewett and Dorcas Meadowes were all in the Order of the Phoenix as said briefly in the books. So they were never described in the books, but I thought that they would have to have been friends with Lily and James since they were around the same age as them at the time. Remus and Marlene are over, but the feelings may stay longer than Marlene would like. Lily is a little broken after Petunia and Snape have both left her, so it will take some coaxing for her to realize she has a lot of friends. Thank you for reading and reviewing! Report Review
Back for another review! The plot thickens and you are moving quite splendidly! I'm starting to favor Marlene more, although it's sad to see that she's already been attacked. I can't wait to read more about Dorcas, there's some people that think she's either older or younger then Lily and the boys but personally I agree that she's the same age. Moving on, are you aware that your words are centered? I wasn't sure if it was intended or not, either way I don't mind. Next I like Lily's dad, he seems like an interesting character! Overall, I loved the chapter and can't wait to read more!Author's Response: I'm glad you're back! I did notice my words were centered and I just went and edited that. Although it will probably take a few days before that update goes through. It was not intended it was purely a formatting error. I'm glad you like Lily's dad, I always wondered what he'd be like you know? Thank you for reading and reviewing! Report Review
First I want to say that I think this is a great first chapter! I love reading the Maurders Era and how other people imagine it, plus I'm a sucker for James/Lily ship (: Anyways, I'm really liking the third person view, it's one of my favorite styles so another kudo for you! I can't wait to keep reading and to see where you take this story and how you end it. Great work!Author's Response: Well hello! I'm glad you liked my first chapter. I must admit I'm a sucker for James and Lily too. I just can't get away from how cute it is that he chased her all those years. Thank you for reading and reviewing! Report Review
More characters have arrived! Emmeline seems like a piece of work - I look forward to the backstory about why Dorcas hates her so much. Lily picked up that something was wrong with Marlene but Dorcas didn't -maybe Lily is a better friend than she thinks. The Marlene/Remus situation would be really awkward. She is awfully selfless to be worried about hurting his feelings. He has obviously crushed hers. I am a big Remus fan and am disappointed in him here for hurting Marlene. The Marlene/Sirus scene was well done. Thank you for the new chapter.Author's Response: Emmeline will come up later don't worry. She has only just begun and Dorcas's reasoning will come up.
When it comes to Marlene you'll see that though Dorcas is her best friend, sometimes Dorcas is too focused on herself to see her best friend clearly. Marlene really loved Remus and it did crush her when she realized he didn't feel the same way. Remus is just kind of clueless to the effect he has on people. Thank you for reading and reviewing! Report Review
I'll start with the unimportant stuff: I love all of the chapter images (esp Lily and James), but I liked the old banner better than the new one. The James in the new banner seems off to me.
Now to the important stuff:
(1) I'm a huge fan of the way you've portrayed Sirius so far. I feel like he's the character we know the best after three chapters.
(2) I feel like, even after three chapters, we don't have that good a sense of James. He seems less larger-than-life than most portrayals of James. But I think ultimately how good this story is will depend a lot on how you develop James as a character. I'm looking forward to reading it.
(3) The same thing is true to a lesser extent re Lily. I feel like you've done a great job with the outer shell of her character, but I imagine there will be more there.
(4) The notion that Marlene can get through to Sirius when James couldn't is interesting. Again, very different from the typical James / Sirius BFF relationship, where Sirius would shut out everyone BUT James. I'm intrigued.
(5) You've built up enough cred with all of your prior stories that I'm really excited to see how this plays out. Keep writing!Author's Response: 1) I'm trying to find a better banner, I agree James doesn't look right, but I really hated the other banner. So it might take another try.
2) I'm glad you like Sirius, he's my favorite.
3) With James and Lily, they will take a minute. Because with this story it volleys between James and Lily and their friends, because it took everyone working together to get Lily and James together so you have to know them all. So I will focus on Marlene, Dorcas, Sirius and Remus first, and then once Lily and James have something to say the story will spread to them, and never really leave them.
4) James always can get through to Sirius, but he didn't see what happened and listens to Sirius when he says he wants to be left alone...mostly. Marlene doesn't care. She goes in and beats it into Sirius without sparing his feelings.
5) I love that you think I have cred! That makes me want to write more!
Thank you thank you thank you! Report Review
Great chapter, Awesome story! REALLY loved what James' dad says to Orion...I always knew that the Potters thought of Sirius as a son but to hear made it all the more real please update soon!Author's Response: I'm so glad! I always thought that for Sirius to have such a deep devotion to James's family there needed to be really strong roots there. Thank you for reading and reviewing! Report Review
I want another chapter! I went to hit the next chapter button and it wasn't there :( Another amazing chapter once again ;)Author's Response: That is my favorite problem! Thank you for reading and reviewing! Report Review
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