Reading Reviews for Forever and Almost Always
  
6 Reviews Found

Review #1, by fanficwriter Train Ride

30th July 2012:
That's very interesting and descriptive. I like it! ;) no flaws here! You are a great writer.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for taking the time to read my first fan- fic ^_^ And your compliment continues to inspire me to write more :D

The second chapter is undergoing editing and revisions. I hope to post it up soon ^_^


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Review #2, by DracoFerret11 Train Ride

26th July 2012:
Hello there! This is DarkRose from the forums here to review for you! :D So, let's go over things:

Grammar/Spelling: Well, you wanted me to check for really obvious errors, and the good news is that I didn't see too many! There weren't actually too many grammar/spelling issues at all. There were a few, but nothing too awful.

Characterization: Okay! So...we have the trio and Ginny in this chapter. Hermione was pretty great, if I do say so myself. She seemed the closest to "in character." Ron was a little off for me. He seemed much too annoyed at Harry and Ginny's relationship. Him arguing with Ginny makes sense, but the way he treated her relationship with Harry was a bit over the top. He was much colder and crueler than would make sense to me. Ginny is a little off as well. She acted pretty normally towards Ron, but she was a little bit too affectionate and cheesy towards Harry. :/ And Harry! Yay, Harry! I rarely read stories with him, so this was bound to be interesting for me. I think you handled him in a very unique way. It wasn't particularly canon, though. He was just like Ginny with the over-affectionate cheesiness...and the other part I didn't like a lot was how Harry was so easily distracted by the girl who walked past their compartment. He still loves Ginny at this point, so it just seemed odd for him to think about another girl so intently.

Descriptions: Okay! Here's the rant that I give literally every person that I read for. :] If you want to bring a story to life and really bring readers into it, you can do so by adding details. How do things look? Not only that, but how do they sound, smell, feel, etc.? That will definitely make things pop and seem more realistic.

Emotions: Well, there weren't too many opportunities to see how people were feeling in this chapter, but this is similar to my above-stated detail rant. Showing how characters feel can really bring things to life.

Plot: Well! So far, so good! It's interesting that there's a random man on the train since adults never are. And who's the OC? And how will she and Harry meet? Etc. You have a very intriguing first chapter. Well done!

Interactions: You know that I wasn't overly fond of the argument between Ginny and Ron. Other than that, I think your interaction sequences were quite good. I wish we'd seen more of the friendship between the trio, though. But I'm sure that will appear in later chapters.

Okay! Well, I think you're doing well with this story. Make sure not to rush things between Harry and your OC. A few things need to be tweaked in this chapter to make it more believable (but that's mostly character stuff, not plot). I'm sure you can make it make better sense! You're doing well, I promise. Especially for your first story! Keep up the good work and you'll improve with every chapter!

--Emily

Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing this story!

I will take you CC into consideration for future chapters such as the bit about details.

I intended for the characters to be written slightly different from the canon but I think that you were right about me going over the top on Ron and Ginny. I'll be sure to polish up their relationship on this one.

The OC shall be revealed soon enough and I'll be sure to slow things down between the OC and Harry.

Thanks again!


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Review #3, by luciusobsessed Train Ride

24th July 2012:
This was really an amazing first chapter. I was completely enticed by the air of the story. Ron/Hermione, Harry/Ginny...I was so into it! And that girl in the end only added more mystery! Now I'm dying to know who she is! Also, I thought it was hilarious how Ron and Ginny were about to go at it on the train. I could practically imagine Ron's face as I was reading it. Keep it up and update soon xx

Author's Response: Thank you so much!

I shall update soon! I really appreciate your review!


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Review #4, by daretodream Train Ride

22nd July 2012:
Hello!

So I think that you have a good, if ambiguous, start to your story here.

I also think that you did a good job with your characterization in this chapter. Everyone seemed to be acting the way that they should be, which is nice, because that certainly isn't always the case. I liked the scene where Ron and Ginny bickered, because it was funny and very in character for them.

So far, the plot and flow both also seem to be working quite well, though it is a bit early to tell because it's only the first chapter. For now though, everything looks good.

A nice read!

~Cassie

Author's Response: Thank you so much for taking the time to review my story!

I'm glad that you're liking the characters and the plot so far. I hope to develop all of them well. You are right, the best part of the story to be ambiguous is the beginning, to get all your readers hooked.

Thank you again!


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Review #5, by Sarah Griffendor Train Ride

22nd July 2012:
I can't wait to read the next chaptrer hope it comes out soon! :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for leaving this review! I'm currently editing the second and third one :D Don't worry the second chapter will be up soon!

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Review #6, by TyrannicFeenix Train Ride

22nd July 2012:
Very good start.

All four of them feel very in character to me, especially Ginny and Ron having at each other. Ron is such a git sometimes.

Very interesting imagery on the girl. You describe her features well, and I find myself curious as to the cause of her injuries. Is it something to do with that cane?

And what are the Malfoys doing that needs the two of them.

Great opening chapter. Gives a good level of information while holding enough back to keep us intrigued. Will be adding this to my favourites so I can keep track of it.

Also, I'm assuming this train is not the Hogwarts Express, I got the feeling it was an open Muggle train rather than a closed compartmented train. Am I right? If not might want to add a line that specifies it's the Hogwarts Express just it keep it clear. Or ignore me for being too picky (I can be that way sometimes).

Great job.


TyrannicFeenix

Author's Response: Thank you so much for taking the time to review my work ^_^

To answer you question, it does have something to do with the Malfoys. What she's doing with them, I'm afraid you will have to find out as the story unravels :D

Oh and yes, the train that they're in isn't the Hogwarts Express. The setting of the story takes place right after the second wizarding war. I'll look it over once again for the clarification part.

Thank you so much for your feedback! I really appreciate the support ^_^


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