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4 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Rose_Weasley123 perpetuity

10th August 2012:
Hey! This is Becca from TGS. I've been meaning to read something of yours for ages, so it's really great that you requested a review. I may not have got round to reading anything by you, and that would have been a real shame. This is absolutely wonderful.

I may be a little biased when writing this review, because I LOVE this kind of one-shot. I think some of the best ones I've read are ones like this where it is more about emotion and atmosphere than plot - long stories kind of need a plot, but one-shots are perfect for playing around with imagery and tone. Anything more than the kind of gentle, soft atmosphere in this story would ruin the depth of emotion in it.

I honestly don't know why you're worried about this! Your mastery of language is superb, and your descriptions are simply gorgeous. I thought your description while they were in the garden was particularly good. I'm afraid I'm not really going to be able to offer much in the way of critique, because I really loved this, and I think you did a brilliant job.

The characterisation of Perenelle is perfect. I haven't really thought before about how I'd imagine her, but if I have, this is what I would have imagined. She seems so rounded a character, even in such a short space. I also want to say that I love how you've written the relationship between her and her husband.

Okay, my thoughts on the ending. I thought some of the lines here were absolutely gorgeous, such as "I hear him gently turn the pendant indefinitely, sweeping past decades and centuries and millenniums, back to the beginning of Time." You managed to make it both moving and completely, absolutely fitting with what you'd writen before. The last line was one that I wasn't so sure about on first read, but now I think does work. I think that's more to do with the fact that I'm reading late at night than your writing!

Overall, I think you have nothing to worry about. The descriptions were beautiful, the flow was perfect and it was just really, really lovely. I really enjoyed it, well done!

Author's Response: Hey lovely!

Thanks so much for popping by to review this. Sorry about the massive, massive delay in responding to this. I kinda took a fanfiction hiatus!

Eek thanks for all the great feedback. I don't know why but I still very uncertain about this one shot. You know when theres something bugging you about what you've written and you can't put your finger on it? Maybe I should just listen to what you're saying instead! :P

Thanks so much for a great and supportive review. It really means a lot. You're the best!

Laura xxx ♥


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Review #2, by CharlieDay perpetuity

24th July 2012:
Hello!
First of all, thank you for being so specific in your areas of concern- you have no idea how helpful that is. I just hope I'm able to help you!
The wording of this was just beautiful, it was so ethereal! It did seem some how wizened, but it definitely didn't come across as dull. It was more like... delicate. Very, very lovely.
I also thought it was great that you used Perenelle and Nicholas, it's so rare for them to even be mentioned in fanfic, so to write a whole story based around them was just lovely.
I found it slightly confusing, and had to read it over twice, but I'm quite tired, so I think it was more the fact that the plot was quite complex that the fact that it was confusing.
I think you did a wonderful job at portraying Perenelle and Nicholas' relationship, it was just how I think a couple their age's should be, not to wild, but so close. Perfect.
The ending was so perfect, as well, it was open ended, yet it seemed like a definitive finish. Just how endings should be, really.
You asked whether I thought you should continue this. Well- I would love it if you continued, because your writing is wonderful, and it would be fascinating to read more about Perenelle and Nicholas' lives, however I think this story also stands alone beautifully.
I actually had a lot of difficulty reviewing this without keyboard slamming, because your writing so perfect. It's completely magical, and you are probably a famous author in disguise. Possibly a resurrected Bronte. Your writing is so so so wonderful.
Thank you so much for the chance to discover such a brilliant, wonderful, amazing, story.
Charlie

Author's Response: Ohmygosh ♥

Thank you one million for such a gorgeous, kindly and thoughtful review! This is honestly one of the nicest reviews I've ever got, really truly! Thanks so much for taken the time to review this - I'm sorry that its taken me so long to respond. I had a fanfiction hiatus of a few years and so coming back to be greeted by this is really, really special. Thank you!

In some places, I do also find that it's a little confusing. I think in areas I over-describe, so you're entitled to feel a little frazzled by some parts. I think I get swept up sometimes :P and as for the plot, the way I kept it quite vague does also add to the confusion, accidentally admittedly, so I think if I was going to edit this in the near future I would iron some of that out.

You are far too kind! Thank you loads and loads for this review - honestly. I can't really express how special it made me feel. Thanks again, lovely. ♥

Laura xxx


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Review #3, by Indigo Seas perpetuity

23rd July 2012:
Oh, oh, OH. Alrighty. OK. Where to begin without making this completely unintelligible and useless...

Obviously, I thought this was brilliant, and for so many reasons. Maybe I'll list them to keep myself organized.

1) The last line is just... I always try and make sure my last lines are solid, that they sort of pack a punch so that the reader doesn't just drift off the page once they've finished. You've done that magnificently and I cannot even begin to wrap my head around how you even came up like a line like that. It is gorgeous, but it also furthers your story; it's not just there for beauty reasons, or anything. Gah.

2) The originality (and I had to spell that four times, for whatever reason) is just incredible. I'm beginning to see a lot of the same thing on the archives, which isn't necessarily bad because everybody sort of has their own take on it but THIS was just astounding. I have never, in my "career" as a reader, read anything that featured these two lovely and ephemeral characters. And speaking of characters...

3) I absolutely adore the way you've characterized them. They are tired, but they seem content. For whatever reason, I especially liked the quip about her memory going. It just made -sense- to me. And this line: "My soul feels a little tired, my blood a little too warm for all that I have lived through." Gah, it's really gorgeous, but I think you also paint a very vivid picture of the character(s) you are describing.

This was lovely, and I can definitely see where you found your inspiration in that picture. It's a very subtle inspiration, but it's there. Thank you so much for trying the challenge; this is a piece of art.

xx Rin

Author's Response: RIN!

Thanks for this really wonderful review. You're the bestest ever. And if you do come back online to HPFF I hope you see this because this review really made me feel so lovely and special.

Miss you a million!

Laura xxx ♥


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Review #4, by Cirque Du Freak perpetuity

18th July 2012:
Ugh. This was just honestly really amazing. I lovr how there was a poetic tone to this and how you managed to dive straight into this without it being rushed or anything.

I love the premise of this story, because no one did stop to think that in having the Philosopher's Stone at Hogwarts would mean the death of two very accomplished, but very human people. It was really humbling to think of seeing as everyone knows what happened to the Stone afterwards.

Your writing is just...ugh, to die for. I love it so much.

I looove the sentimentality of this all but also how its realistic. They understood they needed, and fully embraced it, to let go of the materialistic things they had. They understood that even memories didn't need to be bottled up and kept in a cabinet for a rainy day. They understood that it was time to go.

Its just so peaceful and sad in the way that you wish there was something else for these characters, but that you wouldn't change what happened either - it is absolutely perfect the way it is and had to be.

So. Yes.

After all that gushing I must now thank you for all the lovely reviews that you've left me over the past few weeks. I'll be replying to them soon and I didn't want you to think I was ignoring you.

Thank you for being so lovely and thank you for writing such a wonderful piece!

Hanzi xx

Author's Response: Hanzi ♥

You're such a darling! Thank you loads for this really beautiful review. :') You're honestly the loveliest in the world - you have no idea how great I felt reading this!

Eek, MY writing?! Your writing is to die for!! Thank you! That's such a great compliment, especially coming from you! I love reading your work, so don't say thanks for the reviews. I love leaving them!

I really feel like there is so much dark stuff in Harry Potter that no one ever questions, such as with the Flamels and stuff. There's some really sad stuff when you think about it, which is why I wanted to address that. I've also thought a bit about it too in some of my other one shots about other minor characters. I'm glad you managed to get a good grasp of the tone in this piece. It means a lot.

Thanks for this really lovely review! You're really wonderful, thanks a lot. A lot lot lot!

Laura xxx ♥


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