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13 Reviews Found

Review #1, by SunshineDaisies Facing a dragon

16th April 2017:
Oh, Neville! What a cutiepie.

I loved watching the first task from Neville's perspective. Obviously we only saw Harry's perspective in the book, so it was fun to look at it with fresh eyes. And Neville is SUCH a sweetheart, it was an extra treat getting to see it from him in particular. I really liked how you inserted Ron in this scene as well. It was fun to have his bits of knowledge inserted into the story, and to see his change of heart toward Harry. It makes me wonder how much smoother the first task would have gone if he had had Ron by his side, teaching him some of Charlie's tips and tricks.

I really liked the miscellaneous comments from the other fourth year Gryffindors. It was sweet to see Lavender worried about Harry, fun to listen to Parvati talk about her fear of dragons. And then of course Seamus and Dean and Ron talking about the whole thing like it's a sporting event; working out the strategy and whatnot behind it all.

Your writing here was just wonderful. You did an excellent job of setting the scene, and created a really vivid image of the whole thing. I think Ron's dialogue actually helped with the imagery quite a bit here. It gave a clearer picture of each of the dragons.

overall great story! I really enjoyed the read!

katie

Hufflepuff CtF

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Review #2, by Dojh167 Facing a dragon

16th April 2017:
Huffelpuff CtF Review

Jumping right in here, and excited to see what you do with this little moment from another perspective =)

Haha, I love “Harry had never deceived him apart for that one time in first year which, ironically, involved a dragon as well.” It shows a great sense of humor, and really showcases Neville’s loyalty and his willingness to forgive when he thinks it is warranted. Neville feels ♥

Haha, Dean’s analysis that Harry is doing better than expected before anything even happens XD More feels for Dean as the pragmatic optimist.

Aww, Neville is so sweet, with how he tries to get Ron talking to distract him. It is extra sweet considering that the subject he’s talking about scares Neville, but he’s willing to put himself through it for the sake of his friend ♥

Haha, I love the fire extinguisher between Dean and Seamus! And I like how you subtly connected Hermione’s place in this with the books and the fact that she helped him prep for his, even though we see very little of her from the perspective of this story.

Aww, you can see Ron being won back to Harry’s side by being impressed by his flying skills. That’s good, that it’s a combination of his fear for Harry’s sake and being impressed by his skill that helps him get over his grudge.

I think it’s interesting that you focused on Neville’s feelings about Harry here, instead of Ron’s. Neville’s don’t get much attention, and I suppose it’s true that we know what this event was for Ron in the book (though you illuminated that a bit more as well).

I saw a couple similar grammar issues, where there were things that you wrote as singular that should have been plural, like “steal one of its egg” and “their hands over their mouth”

What I really liked about this story was how well you captured the action of the story without actually describing it in the narrative, but letting the characters’ reaction do that for you. That was really clever and well done, and helped keep the focus of the story on the characters, not the dragon. Which I think is a cool metaphor for Neville, and how he’s not always the flashiest thing happening, but he sure is interesting ;)

Well done!

Sam.

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Review #3, by adluvshp Facing a dragon

7th March 2014:
Blackout Battle 9/15

This was a very good read and I enjoyed this.
It was interesting to see how the others viewed Harry during the first task in Goblet of Fire.
I liked how Neville believed in Harry and towards the end decided to always stand by him.
The way you incorporated the House Cup requirements was also clever and didn't seem forced at all but flowed easily with the narrative.
I felt that Lavendar, Ron, Hermione, Seamus, and Dean were all pretty much in-character too. We see them as they were in the books, good work on that.
All in all, I really enjoyed this as it made for a fun and engaging read. Good job =)

Cheers,
AD
(AditiDraco95)

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Review #4, by MyMyMiss Facing a dragon

7th March 2014:
Hi hun,

This was a very interesting story, I understand it was written for the 2012 house cup but even if it wasn't it is still a very good read (:

The only problem I had with this is a line toward the end..

"Accio," Hermione murmured, looking anxiously in the castle’s direction, as if expecting something.

"Accio?" Dean asked,'What is he trying to summon? A fire extinguisher?”

A what? Seamus asked.'

Seamus is a half blood - he's my favorite character in case you was wondering why I am a little picky on this lol, so I think being half a muggle born he would perhaps know what one of these were :P

But apart from that I really enjoyed this story, it was delightful read how the others thought of Harry and how much the admired him and cared for Harry, even after wearing those stupid badges and the taunting, everything they still cared for his safety, it was really nice to see it from someone else's PoV, and was a really enjoyable read!

Keep up the good work :)

~MMM: Slytherin and gyrffie blackout battle.

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Review #5, by Chazzie Facing a dragon

3rd March 2014:
Hey there!
It was quite fun to read about the task from the view of Harry's friends. Your characters really helped progress the story through to the end of the challenge. They seemed so proud of Harry, and it just shows how much faith they have in him. Typical Gryffindors :P Neville is particularly cute here, especially with his quick agree with everything someone says about courage.
Chazzie (Review 6/10 for the Slytherin/Gryffindor Blackout)

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Review #6, by Maelody Facing a dragon

2nd March 2014:
I loved that this was in Neville's POV more than it was any other. Though Ron would have been cool, just to see the conflict of worry and the past anger, but I think you did a great job conveying that with Neville! ;)

That last bit though, the one where Neville says he will follow Harry always, is just the best! It's so cool to see that this is where he decides to do that, and that he will be there no matter what. It really leads well into the seventh year! :)

This was really cool getting to see it from another POV! It added a new intensity to it and I think you did a great job conveying everyone's different emotions, and even making Seamus confused at all the Muggle references (or was it Dean?) either way, it was great! :D

Great job!

9/10 reviews to Gryffindor stories for Slytherin vs. Gryffindor bingo blackout

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Review #7, by Secret Santa... again Facing a dragon

3rd January 2014:
Hey there Akussa,
Your friendly neighbourhood santa clause has returned with another gift for you! I always find it sad how one's old stories are forgotten in favour of newly updated ones, so I'm leaving reviews on old stories so you can feel the lovvve :)

I'm a sucker for any story featuring Neville (he's my baby), and yours was definitely not a disappointment :)

I LOVE LOVE LOVE your characterisation of Neville and the other Gryffindors!!! I'd never really thought about what it would be like for Harry's friends, watching th tournament, and it was surprisingly thought provoking to be given this new perspective on our lesser known Gryffindors - Dean and Seamus, for example, had an excellent dynamic, as well as Lavender: not enough people write about them, and I think you really brought out the individual characters of each person :D

I also really love how sweet neville's support is for Harry: the absolute faith he has in Harry was really touching, as was the last line of your story... so foreshadowing! Much feelings! Wow!!

Anyways, fabulous entry for last year's (two years ago?? o.O) house cup! I hope your New Year has been wunderbar so far and I'll see you soon with your third (and final :'( ) surprise.

Have a fabulous day, you deserve it :D

~Your Friend

Author's Response: Thanks so much Santa!! Oh I love Neville so much as well (if you've noticed, about half of my stories revolve around or features Neville in some way so I'm very happy you think I did a good caracterisation of him!

The thing I love most about fanfiction is that it gives us the opportunity to revisit some moments from an angle that is different from Harry's. And that scene was always so interesting to imagine; it must have been awful for his friends to watch Harry battle the dragon!

Thanks again for this wonderful gift, I'm very happy you got asigned as my Santa! :)


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Review #8, by Lady Asphodel Facing a dragon

27th November 2013:
Loved this! Enjoyed reading through someone else's point of view on what happened on the first task! :D

Great job! ^_^

Author's Response: A tad late but still a very heartfelt THANK YOU for taking the time to review, I really appreciate it and it made me so happy to see this this morning (yeah, I haven't been around much in the past year)! Thanks again!

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Review #9, by Debra20 Facing a dragon

13th July 2012:
Hey love!

Well this is going straight to my Favourites. It was simply brilliant. Brilliant is less than what I felt when I read it. It was an exciting piece, beginning until the end. I loved the idea you had to write Harry's own First Challenge through the audience's eyes, especially his friends. I have always wondered how they felt about Harry competing and you gave me the opportunity to imagine it. And it was a great moment!

Really enjoyed how you blended in the prompts not to mention the way you kept every character true to himself. Excellent!

Author's Response: Hi!

Wow this is so nice of you to add it to your favorite, I'm blushing over here!! I always wondered how his friends felt as well so this was a really great opportunity for me to explore it. I'm glad you thought I kept the characters true to themselves; it was difficult at times because (in the books) we rarelly see them all interacting together but it was a lot of fun! Thanks again!


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Review #10, by Shortie Facing a dragon

12th July 2012:
WHOA. This is the first ever story I've read from outside Harry's head during the first task and it's brilliant. Not too many prompts squeezed in and nothing artificial. I love it Akussa. :D

*hug*

Author's Response: Aw, thanks so much for those kind words, I'm glad you liked it and found it original! It was a first for me as well; I had never read a story like that before but I think it worked out alright. Thanks for the review!!

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Review #11, by ginerva_molly_weasley Facing a dragon

11th July 2012:
Akussa!

Another amazing story by you to add to your awesome collection! It was lovely to see the story of the first task in the triwizard tournament from the eyes of Harry's friends who were watching in the stands.

It really made me feel like I was there and actually on edge with the whole idea of being in the stands there with them watching their friend go into a potential death trap! I really felt you captured the scene and the atmosphere in this whole place even within the short amount of words which I think was fab!

Well done

Author's Response: Summer!

Thanks so much for your blush worthy comments :)
I'm so glad this turned out ok; I was afraid that it would be an overdone concept and be very cliche but it looks alright in the end! I'm really pleased if you say you felt like you were watching the scene with them because that is the effect I was going for.

Thanks again for the lovely review!


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Review #12, by Toujours Padfoot Facing a dragon

10th July 2012:
Hello, fellow Gryffindor!

Oooh, the Triwizard Tournament! A very effective way of displaying the prompts, as you can mention the spells used against the dragons as well as the various dragons' breeds without any of those prompts looking out of place.

Neville's such a good friend. :) It was nice to see this side of the scene, from the other students' points of views. I was glad to see Ron's support and loyalty in spite of the fact that up until that day, he had been angry with Harry. I enjoyed the dialogue between Neville, Dean, Seamus, Lavender, Ron, and Hermione, and found it very realistically-written. I especially liked the fire-extinguisher bit that confused Seamus, and the mosquito analogies and how you explained what was going on through their narration. It was like listening to a very exciting game!

Well done. :)

Gryffindor ftw

Author's Response: Thanks so much for this review; I'm very pleased that you found my use of the prompt effective. I didn't want this to be overflowing with prompts, breaking the rythm of the story so I didn't use too many but I like the effect it had none the less.

I loved playing with Neville and the other Gryffies. We so rarely get to see them all interacting together that I thought it would be a great occasion to do so. Conclusion : it's hard but fun!!

Thanks again, I'm glad you liked it and felt like you were watching the scene, this is exactly the effect I wanted so I'm glad it worked out alright :)


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Review #13, by TyrannicFeenix Facing a dragon

10th July 2012:
Really nice job, love seeing things from the other side. It's a shame JKRs books focused on Harry's perspective, it is nice to see things from Neville or Hermione's side sometimes. And you pulled it off perfectly, felt like we were standing amongst them cheering along with them. Excellent.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this kind review, I'm glad you liked it!
You think it's a shame? I think it gives us a bigger playground!! I like going over some of those moments but from a different perspective (Ron being one of my favorite, as my story "Ronald's box" goes to show...).
I really wanted the reader to feel like he was watching the scene so I'm glad this is how you felt; shows I reached my goal!
Thanks again!


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