10 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Sophie_Hatter A Nightmare

13th July 2012:
Hello - Another great house cup entry! I especially enjoyed Cho's adventures in the maze, and I thought you did a great job with the dragon/Skrewt morphing, it was a really good idea. Well done for including all the prompts too.

Choosing is going to be so difficult!

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing for me! I'm happy you liked how I wrote this. It was actually really difficult! Choosing is so hard! Ravenclaw wrote so many spectacular stories. Thanks again!

--Emily


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Review #2, by manno_malfoy A Nightmare

13th July 2012:
Yay! An emotional, dark-ish entry! I really am having too much fun going through everyone's stories!

This was a really nice story, and it seemed very realistic to me -even though it was mostly a dream. The way things went fuzzy and the Blast-Ended Skrewt all of a sudden turned into a dragon then shrunk down again really made it feel like a nightmare. I love how you've put in many of the prompts, especially the one about the uses of dragon blood! And the transfiguration spell! This bit was completely awesome!

I've noticed though that, in that very same part, you've mentioned twice how the dragon's blood could be useful further on in the maze. I know you had to rush yourself through writing the story to get it in before the deadline, but I thought I'd point that out in case you decide to come back and edit or something as such.

As for the idea of the story itself, that she would dream about the stories that must have travelled around Hogwarts after the tournament, is really nice and makes Cho one of those Ravenclaws who have an overly-active imagination and subconscious -I think many of us are like that, considering how we, supposedly, are into literature and dreaming up things and all...?

Anyway! Great job on the entry! W.W.W.W.W!

-Manno

Author's Response: Hey Manno!

Thank you so much for reviewing! Your review was so much longer and more detailed than mine have been. :o I HATE rushing through reviews, but there were so many stories to read that I had no choice. :/ Bummer.

Anyhow, I'm so happy you liked what I came up with. After reading everyone else's stories, I'm not as confident with it...it was a completely new way of writing for me, so I don't know if it came across as well as I would have liked.

Either way, I appreciate your feedback, and I'll fix that error when I edit. :] Thanks for pointing it out!

--Emily


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Review #3, by Tonks1247 A Nightmare

12th July 2012:
Hello!

I was not sure what to expect as I started reading this. I was mildly confused as to why Cho was in the Triwizard tournament, but Iíll tell you now, it was a good thing. That mild confusion drew me into what was going on. I wanted to know more about her journey through the maze, her fight with the dragon that was really a Blast Ended Screwt and the mysterious green mist and justÖI wanted to read to figure out what it was going on.

After so long, and I got closer to the end of it, I realized she was probably dreaming but I still wasnít 100% sure. It was a really good style and plotting of the story because it really did draw me in. It also creatively put all the prompts in it. I also loved how you brought Cedric in at the end, though it really couldíve all just been in Choís headÖit really was creative and I enjoyed it!

I would suggest doing a quick re-read through, looking at some of the grammar type things [comma usage] and some of the word choice. There were parts that confused me a bit the first time I read the sentence, but after a second read through, I understood.

Other than that though, you did fantastic job! It was an excellent entry for the House Cup task 1! :D

~Grimmerz

Author's Response: Hello there!

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. I'm really glad that you enjoyed the story. I'm sorry that it was confusing. :/ That's disappointing to hear. Maybe when I get the chance to edit it, it will make more sense. I hope so. Thanks again for reviewing, either way.

--Emily


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Review #4, by maskedmuggle A Nightmare

11th July 2012:
Hey!

I thought this was a great one-shot. Honestly, dreams seem to be a common plot, but I really liked how Cho was the champion, and how she was the one in the twisted maze encountering the blast-ended skrewt/dragon, and foe-glass/dark detectors table. You incorporated the prompts pretty well, and the whole story feels plausible and realistic. I think your Cho is also nicely characterised - it definitely feels like her anyway.

I kind of feel like you need a break between the dream and reality - though it's easy enough to distinguish, it sort of just runs straight to the next part. However, that just might be personal preference on my part. All in all, I did enjoy this - it was a really well-written dream :)

- MM

Author's Response: Hey there!

Thank you for reading and reviewing for me! I'm really glad that you liked the story. :] This was definitely unique in my writing...I've never done anything quite like it. So...it was challenging. I actually debated about putting in a break, but I decided against it. I'll go and look at that again and see if it would make more sense. :] I almost feel like I copped out making it a dream, but I couldn't think how else to do it. :/ Anyhow, thank you for reviewing! I'm glad you liked it.

--Emily


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Review #5, by Alopex A Nightmare

11th July 2012:
I suspected from the beginning that this was a dream, especially after Cho started to hallucinate, but it was woven into the story really well. I liked how you made it seem real (as real as a Triwizard task can seem, anyway :P ) but with some odd quirks that twisted it enough to give away that she was dreaming.

I liked particularly the part where Cho transfigured a branch into a vial so she could collect dragon blood. It was a nice bit of magic, but also something that a non-dreamer knows is pointless. The one thing I am left wondering is if there are any handy uses for Skrewt blood!

Nice job. :)

Author's Response: Hey Alo!

I'm so glad that you liked the story! Thank you so much for reviewing. This was definitely a new thing for me to write, but I'm pretty happy with how it came out. It was challenging though. ;] Thanks again for reading and reviewing!

--Emily


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Review #6, by AC_rules A Nightmare

11th July 2012:
Hey there! I'm going through reading all the entries (yours is like the second or third I've looked out now) and I'm being continually amazed by how differently people have interpreted all the prompts.

The idea of Cho battling her dragons and her nightmares was really interesting and I like the sort of symbolism in that, with Cho really beginning to get a grip on everything by the end of things :)

Also, pretty much all of the prompts seemed to be weaved in really smoothly which was really lovely to read! This was another great entry and GO CLAWS! :)

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing for me! I'm very happy that you liked the story! I really wasn't sure how else to handle all the prompts, and I've never written anything quite like this. I'm glad you thought I did well. :] Thanks again!

--Emily


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Review #7, by charlottetrips A Nightmare

10th July 2012:
Ah, I love that it ended on such a hopeful note. Thank you for doing that. After the varying degrees of sadness and hopelessness in the story, it was good to have that in the end.

The way you displayed the nightmare was very nightmarish-like. It was random and slightly non-sequitur but not entirely, in that dreamlike way that nightmares have a way of being. I could feel Choís confusion. I liked that she didnít realize it was a dream until the very end despite how random it was. Iíve felt like that before.

A nice submission!

xChar

Author's Response: Hey Char!

Thanks for reviewing this! I'm very glad you liked it and that you think I did well. :] I've never written anything even remotely similar, so it was a challenge for sure. I'm glad you thought the nightmare was believable as such. Thanks again!

--Emily


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Review #8, by Aiedail A Nightmare

10th July 2012:
Okay so immediate blow to the feels--a maze! It's so amazing, that language has this capacity to become specific in certain contexts, and that you're able to play on all our knowledge of canon tragedy to supercharge the phrase "just a maze" with all this meaning and relevance beyond this story itself. This is a brilliant opening.

It can poison household pests--OF COURSE Snape would bring that up! I was literally laughing out loud at that line. And I have to say, this is a one-shot that I feel has been one of the most successful at making all the prompts seem really natural. I forgot when I was reading this that the goal was to answer to these somewhat disparate things at all, and I've read quite a few of these entries by now, and I know first hand that that's quite hard to do. So bravo for that!

You are also the first person to make me actually cry with your Cho/Cedric interactions. I think that Cho is somebody largely underrepresented as a strong female character and you've done that here--there's a difference between not needing anybody and being strong and I think that allowing yourself to love and be hurt and draw from the encouragement of other people is a wonderful way to show us how good of a person Cho is, and that makes her missing Cedric and his voice in her head a lot more sad. But in a good way. It felt it was almost too much, but this is a short piece, and I still loved it.

Well done, really. I enjoyed reading this and think you did a great job :)

Author's Response: Thank you so, so much for reviewing! I'm absolutely elated that you liked the story so much! I really wanted to pull from Harry's Triwizard Tournament, since I think that that will always be the one that affects Cho the most. I wanted to put her in that situation, because I can definitely see her having nightmares about what Cedric had to go through before he died. I'm glad you enjoyed the Cho/Cedric "moments." I didn't want it to seem like she was hallucinating or really "hearing" him (since he's dead, of course), but I did want her to try to comfort herself by imagining what he would say if he was there. I was surprised by how much I liked writing for her! I'm glad you liked the story. Thanks again!

--Emily


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Review #9, by WitnesstoitAll A Nightmare

9th July 2012:
Hey Emily!!

Here to review your entry!! I thought this was a brilliant one shot! It was intense and sort of action-y and sweet all at the same time. I thought it was lovely to be able to see Cho as the Hogwarts Champion -- and I loved seeing her professor's words playing in her mind as she thought through the situations. Very Claw-like ;) That construction also served as a very creative way to fit some of the more awkward prompts into the story -- you really did fabulous with that! They all felt so seamless with the narrative of the story. I thought the end was very touching, and I was happy that Cho finally came to her senses and realized how strong of a person she really is.

Great one-shot! W.W.W.W.W!!! :)
xoxo
Melissa

Author's Response: Hey Melissa!

Thank you so much for reviewing! I'm really glad you liked it and that you think I worked the prompts in well. I've never written anything even remotely similar to this, so it was different, but fun. :] Thanks again for reading this and reviewing. W!

--Emily


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Review #10, by TyrannicFeenix A Nightmare

8th July 2012:
Very nice. i liked the idea of her dreaming she was in the tournament. A good take on the idea. A the halluncination inducing mist was a nice touch too. All very good. Liked the whole thing.

Author's Response: Thanks so much for reviewing! I'm really happy that you liked it. :] I've never written anything even remotely similar to this before, so it was definitely a challenge. I'm glad you enjoyed the story. Thanks again!

--Emily


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