ikwjdfashfkajkdfas i really liked this because it humanized Cho a lot more than she was in the books - really JK didn't do her justice and she just had this annoying edge to her who seemed to cry all the time and just be generally whiny because Harry wasn't doing what she wanted him to do and I guess the fact that it is in his POV that we would be a lot more distant to Cho and JK did try by channeling her reasoning through Hermione, but honestly she ruined the moment because no one will ever remember why Cho wanted to cry all the time because all they will remember is that moment when times were rough and Hermione and Ron bonded over the fact that he had the emotional capacity of a tablespoon and everything just disappears.
This gives her death and she shines in this despite being so low and there's reason and life and love and so many things mingled all into one to show just how complicated a person can feel about a situation that seems to be simple. So many things that are dumbed down but in reality they are magnified to the point where you can't escape it at all.
All the love for Cho because I disliked her immensely and then you wrote this and then we decided to ship Chudley. ♥ Report Review
I've never really felt that sorry for Cho, but this . . . this just completely changed my perspective. Brilliantly done.Author's Response: Awh, wow! That's such a compliment. Thank you :) Report Review
I loved how this was set the year after Cedric's death, I always wondered how sad Cho really was around that time, it's not always easy to tell in movies and the HP books were never about her so it was always only guess work and imagination, but you brought those imaginations to life in this, her sadness, her fear and longing, all of them where in this story.
It liked how you had snippets from different little parts in their fifth year, of Hogs Head, of actually DA moments and times where she wasn't even with Harry but still pondering the same thoughts. I also liked that you showed her confliction, that in some way she cared more for Harry then just a friend but at the same time, her need to be with him was fueled by her need for the knowledge of what actually happened that night in the Graveyard.
I also really like the end you have for this story, that she got her patronus, a swan, which fits her. She may be graceful but Cho definitely is the kind of person who would fight back, and do it well.
This was a really lovely story and I am glad I got to read it. :) Great Job
- Steph Report Review
This gave me chills. Even in the first few paragraphs, the emotions that you capture are amazing. And so, so complicated. Getting what Cho felt after the death of Cedric and the start of her relationship with Harry out in words must've been incredibly difficult, but you did a truly amazing job.
I love how you included little things about Marietta. We only ever got to see her betrayal, and there is so much more to her than that.
Cho really is heartbreaking here. I don't think I can say that enough. My own heart clenches at reading what she's going through here.
I'd never though twice about Cho's ability to cast a patronus before this. It really is something interesting. She's heartbroken and extremely confused. The swan is a beautiful choice of patronus. Was that canon, or did you pick it for a reason? I think it's incredibly fitting; Cho is absolutely all of those things.
Hufflepuff Report Review
Wow, that was amazing.
The way you included the dragon as a symbol of her grief was very clever for the ending, and the underlying references to both Cedric and Harry were very well done, and its nice to see this from her side. Well done on getting all the prompts in, none ofthem seem out of place or forced some other stories.
-RHAuthor's Response: Thank you very much RH! I really enjoyed writing this so I'm really glad that others have enjoyed reading it too. Thanks you :) Report Review
This was brilliant :) I really enjoyed reading the thoughts of Cho; it was a great reading of her and really made her sympathetic. Plus, you incorporated all the prompts skillfully and none of them felt out of place. Great job :DAuthor's Response: thanks! I really enjoyed writing this and exploring Cho - who I've never really thought much of before. Thank you :) Report Review
Hello, love! I thought I would drop you a quick review to say I really enjoyed your House Cup entry. Choosing is so difficult! I thought you used the prompts really well, and you wove them in almost seamlessly - I particularly enjoyed how you got the details of the wand in there! Good job, as always:-)
Sophie xAuthor's Response: Awh, thank you very much Sophie Hatter! I had a great time writing this and there's been some incredible entries - it really was difficult to pick which one to vote for. Thanks for the review :)
-AC Report Review
HELEN THIS IS SO GORGEOUS. I've missed your /writing/, all this beautiful imagery and all the emotion and uggh this is what you do to me. I become a garbled mess. So lovely.
I know I've said this before but I really do not like Cho Chang. No one's ever been able to make me feel sympathy for her before, yet you did. You managed to justify her actions and all her pain and omg you did it in the best way. I wanted to hug her basically through this entire one shot. Incredible.
I was going to point out my favorite quotes and then I ended up copy-pasting almost the entire thing so... gave up on that idea xD You described the dragons so perfectly though, and that one description of how their flames seared her eyes was STUNNING. I can't even describe how amawefansudible that was.
And the ending was perfect as well. I love love love how you described that swan. It summed up this one shot perfectly (I'm totally overusing this word, oh well :P) and it made me think of dragons too which was like WHOA HELEN HOW DID YOU DO THAT. I'm in love with your Cho Chang.
So proud that you're a Ravenclaw and this lovely one shot is for OUR HOUSE ♥ Oh oh and great job using all the prompts as well. It didn't feel forced at all which is actually amazing. LOVELY AS ALWAYS.
-NaidaAuthor's Response: I've missed my /writing/ too, I need to find my waaayy again because I feel like it's all disintegrating slightly (either that, or after being stressed about exams for two years I need something to stress about and writing is the only thing I can think of ahaha).
I've never really thought about Cho Chang all that much but after writing this my heart strings are all like OH CHO YOU POOR GIRL and, well, I think the reason we don't like her is because we only see her through Harry's perspective and her never really /gets her/.
I love the Swan thing. JK really thought that through, ahha, she's such a genious.
Thank you for such a lovely review my dear! I really appreciate it :)
-AC Report Review
This was a nice story! If I am being truthful, the plot is quite similar to what others have written, but your writing is wonderful as always - you always manage to use description and (I don't know if this makes sense) tell the story so well! I liked how canon it felt - your Cho was very realistic. The different moments gave me a good idea of her situation/feelings at that time, especially with her conflicting feelings towards Cedric and Harry.
The way you included all the prompts was also great. A well-written piece! :)
- MMAuthor's Response: Hey there!
I've only read about three of the claw entries so far (I have time schedualed in today to get through the rest of them), but I can imagine that it's similar to quite a few of them as this was definitely the first thing that occured to me when I looked at the prompt. Awh, thank you so much! I really liked writing about Cho (shockingly) so, yeah, thanks for a lovely review! :) Report Review
Normally I leave longer reviews, but I'm not sure I have the motivation or time to read and properly review 19 stories before the voting deadline. :P
I was really impressed with this story, though. It flowed really nicely and had an almost dream-like quality that I particularly enjoy in stories. I liked the way you presented Cho as well. It made me feel more sympathetic toward her, whereas many portrayals focus so much on her sobbing or being pathetic or whatever that it's not really enjoyable. You did a good job of sneaking in the dragon and wand details too. It felt like a natural story. :)Author's Response: Ahahah, I know the feeling! I've been trying to go through and R&R and its been killing me as I normally aim for a thousand characters and, well, it's been getting shorter.
I really enjoyed writing about Cho in the end! I've never really warmed to her character but I had a lot of fun exploring it. Thanks for the lovely review! :) Report Review
Oh my goodness…this is the first of the Task One stories I’ve started reading and the first story I’ve ever read with Cho as the main character and I must say, it was phenomenal.
I never have thought much of her character and the little I did was really shallow, with her personality and all. But you totally flipped that entire idea around in my head. I see the variances in her character, the will to fight, and just an entirely emotional and heartbreaking story within her. I see the struggle she faced between Harry and Cedric and I’m just in awe that you put that much feeling into her. It really was great.
I don’t know what else to say, other than I adore how you fit the prompts into the story. Many of them I hadn’t even realized I read until I saw your list on the bottom. Really creative and just really cool. The one thing I have to comment on is on small section that sort of confused me, which totally could just be me:
“She takes the draughts of dreamless potion and chooses not to numb the image of him fighting. Pours them down the sink, nightly, and lists the things that Cedric achieved that she never could…”
I was sort of lost, because when you first say she takes the draughts of potion I assumed it meant drinking them and then the whole ‘chooses not to numb the image thing’ just sort of threw me off. I think I know what you’re trying to say, especially with the following sentence, but it took reading through it a couple of times for me to understand, so I’d suggest doing a bit of editing to clarify?
Other than that, great job! You did a fantastic job of putting the ‘Claw spirit into this!
And for my close, my favorite line: "Harry approaches her and Cedric is dead, and she's always liked both of them, but Cedric misses her most, but Cedric is dead and she can't stop crying now."
~Grimmerz Report Review
She has always been popular; she has never felt quite so alone.
This sums up what I think the lives of all those pretty and popular people must be like. I mean, I wouldn’t be able to say as I’d never been one, but it seems to me that that’s what it could be like. Especially for Cho in that hard time period following Cedric’s death.
You did manage to make me sympathetic to a character whom I didn’t really like (which is a bit awful considering she is our House Champion). I guess, it’s just that I didn’t really like her while she was being all upset over Cedric yet still going after Harry. But the way you tie both boys in together in her mind makes sense. They’re both a hero and they represent that in her heart. Cedric is the one who missed her most but Harry is the one who is there now and being strong and speaking out. I can see, through the eyes of your Cho, why she would be drawn to him in her time of grief.
You presented her grief and confusion quite clearly for me and it was something that I could understand and be a part of. I’m amazed that this came out at 2am and was done so well! :)
xChar Report Review
Wow I thought this was a really good one shot. You fit in all the prompts smoothly into one unique story. Nothing seemed out of place, or forced. I like that you left off with her patronus as sort of a sign of hope that things are going to get better. It's going to be hard choosing the best overall for our house :)Author's Response: Awh, I'm really glad that you enjoyed it! I had a lot of fun writing this and exploring Cho's character which was really fun :) Report Review
I'm so glad that this is the first 'Claw entry I get to read because it's just so, so beautifully written and makes me so eager to see how others have managed to execute the prompts.
What I liked the most about this story is how human and authentic it seems to be. You've described emotional suffering in a most vivid way, I could almost feel what Cho was feeling! It made me sympathise with her and wish that her turmoil would end, which is something I would have never expected to happen because I hardly am a fan of Cho. Nonetheless, the way you have displayed what she most probably would have been feeling, the way you have extended on the canon incidents that were not explained in the book... It was just so beautiful, I can't even find an adjective good enough to describe it.
Which brings me onto my next point. Not only did you make use of all the prompts required for the task, but you've also used the canon facts so skillfully -I especially love the 'person he would miss the most'- bit you've included and how Cho regarded that. I mean, indeed, when someone considers you as someone they would miss a lot and then they leave you, what are you supposed to do but grief and think that you should feel the same way, and that the death of someone who thought of you that way should be grieved more than any other! So, yeah, that was great too!
Another thing I liked was the lack of dialogue in the story. Normally, I would not bear a story written that way as conversation is the element that usually draws me to a story. Nonetheless, in this case, I think it was actually useful to the tone of the story and made it flow so naturally and made us focus on Cho's emotional state more than anything else.
Oh, and, by the way, for some reason, I really, really like this bit, "Harry approaches her and Cedric is dead, and she's always liked both of them, but Cedric misses her most, but Cedric is dead and she can't stop crying now."
I think this displayed how she knows that she should move on, that she should stop grieving but simply can't let go because she feels that doing that to Cedric would be unforgivable. Or that's the way I interpret it anyway.
So, again, wonderful, wonderful job! And good luck with the rest of the House Cup! Report Review
I really would love to leave you a coherent and excellent review but I'm unsure I will be able to. This was--poignant--the ending is perfect. It's only been in reading these Cho fics that I've realized exactly how perfect a swan is for Cho, and you've summed it up in a neat statement and some punctuation.
I'm pretty floored by this. There's some absolutely beautiful language here and some of it is just, ugh, my heart.
"Perhaps one day she can be dangerous." This line was so, so moving. Cho--I don't know, I just feel like this is her. This is her mourning Cedric, this is her grief, the taste of her sadness, the tears, everything. It makes sense. The way you've portrayed her need for Harry, the way she wonders whether or not where he is Cedric can still miss her most--because love when you're this age is about more than someone else, it's about you, too, and Cho is lost, now, and feeling helpless, and learning to remake herself. And until the last line she's relying on Harry to help her and dreams and excellence in school, but you really get this feeling there are the end that she's wholly herself, that she's, yes, "flourishing" and exactly herself.
I won't blubber on. Well done. Really.
-lily Report Review
Hello there! This is DarkRose from the forums, wandering around reviewing everyone's Task One entries.
Terrific job with this! Yay 'Claws! I thought you handled the different prompts really well. This was an interesting take on the challenge. I took it much more literally...but yours was great! And probably more original than mine too...Anyhow: nice characterization of Cho. There was one part in the middle (the scene with Marietta) that was a little difficult to understand--I got lost a few times--but other than that, great job! I think this is an awesome addition to the Task and you've done Ravenclaw proud. W!
--Emily Report Review
I don't know how you do it. Seriously. I don't. How do you come up with this stuff at 2AM in like a /half hour/ and incorporate all of these prompts (seamlessly, I might add) and give me all these FEELINGS and GAH
(hi, it's been a long day. coherency may or may not be achieved)
I don't know quite where to start, other than, man I like your Cho. You did make her quite relatable and likeable. I have to say, the First Task has given me a newfound appreciation of Cho. :D
And there is a different hero fighting her dragon.that line. bwuh. I loved how you dealt with showing her confusion between Harry and Cedric, how she got them mixed up - I thought that was a nice way to describe everything that she was feeling, which was, in a word, complex. (And certainly beyond the emotional range of a teaspoon, eh?)
oh oh oh and the end the end ah
Her Patronus is a swan: Serene, graceful, beautiful, vicious. Can we just take a moment to appreciate that last line? I have no idea why I like it so much, but I do. Especially that emphasis on vicious - I just feel like it works so well for Cho. And it's like in that moment, we see a stronger Cho coming out, someone who can fight back, less of the weepy Cho, if that makes sense?
(lol none of this review is going to make sense that's what happens when you write when you're tired)
To sum it up - loved this so much. Didn't seem like a House Cup entry at all - this could have easily stood on its own because everything seemed all natural, if that makes sense. Basically, it's great. Cho's great. You're great. Everything is great! -throws hands in the air-
(I think this is a sign I should go to bed) Report Review
This is an incredible piece of writing!
I think you weaved all the prompts into this one-shot brilliantly and in whole it is a thoroughly engaging read.
In regards to Cho I think you did a great job with characterisation and in expressing her feelings from a point of view we never saw in the books. I know with her being Ravenclaw House Champion many of the Task One submitted stories are going to have an element of melancholy to them... but fortunately that leads the way for a perfect chance to use the prompt feature a theme of flourishing in the face of adversity- a theme I am loving and a theme that you have used brilliantly and to great effect.Author's Response: Thank you very much deulminator! I had a lot of fun writing this - it was really great to have a challenge and have to work to fit bits and pieces in, I really enjoyed it.
I'd never thought about cho before, either, and then she was suddenly all interesting and I had a blast writing her angsty thoughts. Thanks for reviewing! :) Report Review
I really enjoyed this--had a great feel to it, and I feel like you really captured what Cho would have been feeling when she went through this. Great job! :)Author's Response: Thank you very much! I'm really glad you enjoyed it because I had a great time writing it :D Report Review
W.W.W.W.W!! I think you picked a great set of scenes in Cho's life to portray her overcoming the monster that is her grief. You did a good job working the themes into the flow of the narrative too! For writing this at two AM you did well with construction and characterization and dialogue and all that jazz. A few passages are a bit cumbersome (in particular the bit in parentheses about whether she's going to the Hogshead for Cedric or Harry) but were clear enough once I reread them. I think the heavy discriptive style of this piece lends itself to that. ;) This is a solid one-shot and a great entry. You did Ravenclaw house proud.
Melissa Report Review
Nice stuff. Really get a feel for how bad she feels at loving two men. Never been good at that stuff myself, but love reading it from those other authors on here such as yourself who are so very good at it. Great work.Author's Response: Thank you! I've never really considered Cho's perspective before so this was really reallyy fun to write about. Thanks for a lovely review! :) Report Review
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