12 Reviews Found

Review #1, by jmethelin Dragon Dung and Geraniums

13th June 2013:
Love it! Too funny! I am loving the "posh war" as well as Dom's relationship with Rose.

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Review #2, by glittercrumbs321 Dragon Dung and Geraniums

17th March 2013:
continue this story! great writing, I love how sarky she is!

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Review #3, by AlAndAl Dragon Dung and Geraniums

21st August 2012:
This is a pretty good story! It's much different from any other next gen that I have ever read.
I like the confusing reasons for the Macmillans just being overly idiotic...it's quite strange, but that's what makes it interesting!
The flow of the story could use a bit of work, it just seems a little choppy at times and this whole thing seems to be a bit rushed, so it would help if you tried to add more details and delve into a few emotions and whatnot.
-Allie

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Review #4, by daretodream Dragon Dung and Geraniums

6th August 2012:
Well then.

I could understand being very upset and seeking revenge against Leopold (seriously, who is naming the children of the second generation?), but being mad at Will and David is just silly. Then again, those Macmillan's never have been the most logical bunch.

Seriously, I can't help but to find this entire situation comical. I mean...who behaves that way?I feel badly for his sister but...REALLY? Even if Will and David were responsible, glaring ominously is the best revenge they can come up with? Lackluster if you ask me.

I loved your commentary about geek only really being an insult in the 90's. Honestly, I don't care how much people insult me and call me a nerd, because really you know if they could they'd trade my grades for theirs in a heartbeat. Let's be serious.

I absolutely loved this chapter! Keep rocking next gen for me!

~Cassie

Author's Response: Hi again! Hehe I love naming characters odd things (hopefully I'll be able to be more sensible when I have children...) Yes, the Macmillans are being completely irrational, but isn't everything always more fun that way?

Indeed. Glaring ominously is pretty much all they've got. Not the brightest bunch.

Oh, absolutely! Nerds forever!

Thanks so much for another review! I'm glad you're still enjoying it :D


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Review #5, by daretodream A Happy New Year Indeed

26th July 2012:
Well, those Hufflepuffs are a crazy bunch, aren't they?

I mean, they are stereotypically nice, but apparently when you get them all riled up there is no knowing what they are going to do, huh?

What on Earth could my darling Fitzwilliam have done to upset the entire Hufflepuff house, with the charge being led by the Macmillans?

Oh, and I adore Rose. She's like, what Hermione could have been if she wasn't part of the Golden Trio without being crazy stereotypical of her mother. She's her own person, but at the same time you can definitely see the connection there.

Also, obsessed with the fact that they are in Ravenclaw! You break all those stereotypes at once, YOU GO GIRL.

We have two members of the Weasley family not in Gryffindor, and neither of them are Al in Slytherin. It's crazy.

I still love your story. And you are still responsible for feeding this addiction, okay?

Fabulous work!

~Cassie

Author's Response: I'm so glad you liked this chapter too! (Sorry for taking so long to respond to this by the way, I've been computer-less for the last week.)

I just thought that as Hufflepuffs are so often portrayed as being nice, it would be fun to make them the bad guys for once. Ahh well, as to what he's done, all will be revealed... -looks mysterious-

I'm so glad you like Rose! I always worry that however you write Rose, she'll end up seeming cliched, whether she's fiery and Quidditch-playing, or a geeky straight A student, or anything. I think that she'd be quite scary to know, but fun to write about.

I was going to have them all in Gryffindor, with Slytherins as the bad guys, but then realised that, well, that is ALWAYS the case, so I thought I'd attempt Ravenclaws taking on Hufflepuffs.

Thanks for the review! And I'm really happy you enjoyed it :D


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Review #6, by CharlieDay Too Many Mince Pies

24th July 2012:
Hi, I'm (finally) here with your requested review!
I loved the Pride and Prejudice references, and the first paragraph was great! I liked how Will's character was quite different from Mr Darcy's, so he wasn't just a copy.
This chapter was also very funny, so you did well if it was your first try at humour and fluff in a while. Dom's voice was very unique, and her relationship with her family was believable, and I laughed out loud at the part about Dom sending Louis away so she could kiss Will, and then Louis returning.
The only thing I really had an issue with was the fact that there was a lot of dialogue. Now, I don't really mind that, but it puts some people off, I find.
Your Grammar and spelling was wonderful, I didn't notice any mistakes at all, which was, as I said, great. It's always nice to see stories like that. They just read so much better!
I definitely want to read more of this, it was super funny and I can see it turning into a super fun story!
Thank you so much for letting me review this great, great story. It was just my kind of thing!
Charlie

Author's Response: I'm so glad you liked it! Yeah, Will isn't really like Mr Darcy at all, which makes it all the more bemusing for him to be constantly compared to him. Oh, I'm so relieved you found it funny! It's quite easy to write something that you yourself find funny, but then I worry that it will just be me and that I just have a strange sense of humour...

Ahh, I thought there might be. I much prefer writing dialogue to writing description etc, so I tend to have a lot of it. Thanks for pointing that out -I'll have a look and try to balance it out a bit.

Gahh thanks so much! I'm really glad you liked it, and thanks for the great review!


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Review #7, by ChaosWalking Too Many Mince Pies

23rd July 2012:
Well, hello there.

Remember me? It's been a while hasn't it?

So I hadn't actually been on HPFF for ages and when I do get back into it I search for all the authors/stories I used to follow slight obsessively, which as you may have guessed, included you. I begin scrolling down your authors page and I'm starting to get a little desperate and frantic and frustrated because WHERE HAS SPLINTERS GONE TOO??!!! A STORY DOESN'T JUST DISAPPEAR AND I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU TELL ME YOU DELETED IT!! YOU CANT JUST DO THAT YOU CANT DO THAT TO ME!11!!11

OKAY I JUST NEEDED TO GET THAT OUT OF MY SYSTEM. I'M CALM NOW. OH CAPS LOCK IS STILL ON.

Okay I'm calm. And I don't judge you and it's your story you can do with it what you like. I understand. Or I can pretend to.

On the bright side... new story!

I'll admit I was slightly hesitant in clicking this story because (now don't judge) I haven't actually read pride and prejudice. I haven't actually read any Austen. But I decided to give it a go anyways.

Okay so I'm gonna be honest and say that I don't think your first line works very well. I can see where you were headed and what it was supposed to do (I mean even I know it's a P&P quote) but I don't think it sounds quite right. I'm not sure why exactly; maybe it's a little long-winded?

I'm forever telling you that things don't sound right without ever telling you how to change it. Sorry.

Talking about things that don't sound right, some of your dialogue also sounds a bit...off. Overall its quite good but there are some cases where it doesn't really sound like how people would normally talk e.g. "Anyway, as my brother is still watching us, you should probably go. Have fun at dinner with the Minister." I think you could do without "as my brother is still watching us" part in that sentence. Maybe just check over the rest of it. Like just try reading it out loud and seeing if it sounds like something you would say?

Also you mentioned that Will goes to Public school? Not Hogwarts?

So now that we've got all the, what I hope was, constructive criticism out of the way...

I'm incredibly excited for this story. As much as I enjoy reading about dark mysterious guys with troubled pasts, it is nice to read fluffy normal romances with just a nice normal guy. There's not many fics written about them. I like that way he simply gets embarrassed about this name rather than threatening to kill everyone who uses it (because that is just a bit overdone and not very realistic) and the way that some of his jokes are off the mark but Dom laughs anyways and the fact that he IS fashion conscious and doesn't mind showing it. It's nice. It's refreshing.

I also like your characterisation of Dom. She tends to get a bit cliche but I like her in here. She doesn't get on too well with her mum, she's not a fashion diva or overly confident. I just like. And you're not alone in thinking that Fleur would be closer to Victoire. I think it's to do with the very French sounding names they both have. I dunno.

I also like the way the story starts with the main characters already in a relationship. That doesn't happen often and I'm interested to see where this goes.

Overall I think this could be a fun story and I'm just looking forward to it. It also has that summer feel to it doesn't it?

(I've kinda forgotten how to end these things)

...

Bye?

P.S. I don't know why my reviews always turn out to be so long! I promise I don't set out to write monster reviews!!

P.P.S how are you? Life going okay?

Author's Response: Hello! I've missed you and your wonderful reviews ChaosWalking :(

Oh no. You're going to kill me. I did delete Splinters :( It broke my heart just as much as yours, I assure you. It turned out that my main storyline was going to be on the verge of breaking the site terms of service, so I had a crisis of confidence and didn't know how to continue it without that storyline, so I deleted it from my page. Please forgive me?

YOU HAVEN'T READ ANY AUSTEN? I am shocked and appalled! (Actually, I always think her books aren't as brilliantly amazing as everyone always says they are, but that's beside the point. You should definitely read them. Try Pride and Prejudice or Emma, they're probably my two favourites.)

The first line is rather long, hmmm, I'll have a look at that. Urghh, dialogue. I prefer writing it to description, but even so, it's not easy. I always think the problem is that whatever dialogue you write, it will sound natural and realistic to you personally, because you know how you want it to sound, how it should be said. But obviously that doesn't generally come across in writing. Thanks for pointing it out, I'll have a re-read of all the conversations :)

Oops, no, Will goes to Hogwarts. When I said it went to a posh public school, I meant for his pre-Hogwarts education. I'll clear that up. Thanks so much for pointing these things out!

Yay, I'm glad you did enjoy it! I'm happy you like Will - I'm rather fond of him. I just wanted to write a story about a nice guy, and I'm also glad you liked that they start off in a relationship - I agree that I don't see that done very often in stories like this, so I just thought I'd give it a try.

Thanks so much for the review! It's nice to see you on the site again :D

P.S. Long reviews are the best! I love them.

P.P.S. Life is going pretty well, thanks. Just finished my A levels so I'm stressing about the fact that I probably haven't got into university, but apart from that, I'm enjoying the summer holidays! I hope you're okay too :)


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Review #8, by daretodream Too Many Mince Pies

21st July 2012:
Hello!

So, I'm essentially what one could kindly call a next gen junkie, and you're feeding my addiction. Shame on you.

Straight off the bat, I notice you said you're a bit nervous about this piece and I'm going to say don't be. I've already added it to my favorites (which means you have now taken on the responsibility of updating soon and feeding my addiction). You're a lovely, wonderful, witty, beautiful author, so just keep writing.

ANYWAYS. I really like your Dom. She isn't cliched, and she's one of the more unique Weasley children. Plus, she gets aggravated with her mother, and isn't that a sign of being a relatable teenager? I think so.

I laughed out loud at all the parts making fun of Will's mum, mostly because I know people like that so it is amusing to me. That part was really quite witty.

As much as I like Dom (and I DO, trust me) I like Will more. There's just something about him I find rather adorable. He's so cute and sweet, and I would like a real life version of him delivered on my doorstep ASAP please.

Fleur to me was perfect in this one shot. Just so...herself. It was to be expected.

I really really enjoyed this adorable little first chapter, and hope to be seeing more from you soon :)

~Cassie

Author's Response: Oh thank you, I'm really glad you liked it! (Also, thank you for being so prompt with the review!)

Oh, there is nothing shameful about a next gen addiction. Or at least, I hope there isn't, or I would have to become rather worried about my life, and I can't be bothered with that. Favourited? Oh dear, that is a big responsibility, I'll do my best to live up to it ;)

I'm glad you like Dom, and actually I'm even more pleased that you like Will more! Writing OCs scares me so I'm glad he's coming across well. I find him rather adorable as well - I just wanted to write a teenage boy/boyfriend character who was just a nice guy, you know?

Oh, I certainly would too. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

I'm really glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for the great review :)


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Review #9, by potterfan310 Too Many Mince Pies

18th July 2012:
I love reading about Dom and you have really characterised her and Will very well.

Dom and Her Mother's relationship is interesting and it seems like Vicroire and Louis are favoured over her.

I've always thought of Dom as being shopping/clothes mad so it's ncie to see her not that interesting and that Fleur buys her clothes. And I like the fact that her boyfriend knows more about fashion than her.

I'm intrigued as to what happens next and I shall be adding it to my favourties.

-Potterfan310

I lvoe the fact her boyfriend knows more about clothes and fashion than her.

Author's Response: Thank you! I like reading about Dom too, though this is the first time I've ever tried writing her. I'm glad you liked the characterisation of Will as well - writing OC's scares me so I don't do it that often.

I always imagine Victoire as being the favourite, mainly because I see her as being more like Fleur than the other two. Haha well Will isn't exactly an expert, but he has certainly been to more high-society balls than she has xD

Thanks so much for the review! I'm so glad you liked it :)


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Review #10, by Moonyxluna Too Many Mince Pies

9th July 2012:
Hi! I'm here with your requested review :)

I really love the voice you are giving Dominique in this. It's very entertaining with a certain care that I can tell you spent time focusing on perfecting everything you wrote for her monologue, and it really paid off.

The banter between Will and Dom was so entertaining. Reading, you can really tell how great their relationship is and, through their differences in upbringings, how much they care about eachother. In this chapter alone you've done a brilliant job characterizing him, giving him a great background, and showing us how Dominique weaves into his life, all the while keeping us in the dialogue and interested in the story.

I thought Dom's relationship with her mother was entertaining, and I think it's cute that Will knows more about 'fashion' than Dom, and her mum knows it.

As far as your concern mentioned for if this is something I'd like to continue reading, yes! I'd love to see how this goes. I think you've got a great setup here and I hope you'll re-request when you get more posted! I'm sorry this wasn't more helpful, but I think you've got a really entertaining start to this story and I am looking forward to seeing it progress!

-Julie

Author's Response: (Sorry for taking so long to reply to this... I don't even have a decent excuse, I'm just rather absentminded...) I feel especially bad as it's such a great review - I'm so glad you enjoyed it!

I'm glad you liked Dom and the 'voice' - I don't often write first person so I'm relieved it came across well.

I'm glad you liked the banter - they're a bit of an old married couple, really :P It's also great to hear that you think Will's introduction/background etc was good, because I'm often reluctant to write OCs as main characters because I worry I won't make them seem real.

Oh thank you! Well that's definitely brilliant to hear :D Thanks so much for the lovely review, and I'll definitely be re-requesting!


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Review #11, by girl_in_glasses Too Many Mince Pies

7th July 2012:
Its a real coincidence but i was reading pride and
prejudice just before reading this! I liked the fic (and
that thing about little brothers is sooo true) post the
next chapter soon :)

Author's Response: Oh I do love Pride and Prejudice (as you might have gathered from the fact I named a character Fitzwilliam...) Emma is probably my favourite though. I'm glad you liked it, and thanks for reviewing!

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Review #12, by MisProp Too Many Mince Pies

6th July 2012:
I really like this so far! It probably helps that I'm a huge fan of Jane Austen's work, but whatever haha. I'm glad I finally found an interesting story about the "next generation kids" that isn't about Rose. Keep up the good work!

Author's Response: Haha gotta love a bit of Austen ;) I'm really glad you liked it, and thanks for the review! :)

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