I really liked this chapter. It was a great prologue, and it certainly makes the reader understand each girl's personalities.
The writing was really good and apart from some Grammar mistakes that are totally understandable (hey, no one is perfect, right? everyone makes typos here and there) I spotted no errors. One thing though -is Mstr supposed to be "Master"? I was kind of confused there. But anyway. Oh, and "Prolougue" -you've added an extra "u" there. But it's ok.
I just want to say it. I am SO happy I found a fic where Andromeda's pet name is "Meda". In pretty much all the Black sister fics it's "Andy" or "Andi" and I felt rather weird, because in mine it's always "Meda".
Once again, good chapter. I will definetely read more when you update.
PenelopeAuthor's Response: Thank you for the wonderful review! As for mstr., I was hoping more people would recognize it, but I'll change that and the title (whoops, thanks, I can't spell for my life) Report Review
I liked your story. all your characters have a personality that I see will easily lead to to the characters they are in the books. You do have some Grammar mistakes, Mstr. is not a word, or a shortened abbreviation of a word either. Either write Mr. or Master. Other than that the pit and flow of the story are good.Author's Response: Thank you for the kind review. I think the Mstr. is more a matter of who you ask though, because some archaic texts do use Mstr. as shorthand for Master.
Chapter 1's second part (I decided to change some things) is waiting for validation and I'm about to put chapter 2 up possibly today or tomorrow. Once again, many thanks for the review. Report Review
Not much action in this chapter, but it is an introduction, so it's understandable. It has a lot of potential. I agree that the tea party is a little on the lengthy side, but the language is okay, as they are supposed to talk that way. I didn't really understand why Lucius was here. He didn't seem to do much in the chapter, though he will probably be a big part of the story later... The nickname "Meda" is a little awkward, but I don't know what you could do about that. I like the opening though with the hide and seek. It showed what roles the sisters play with each other. Good luck with the storyAuthor's Response: An appendage to chapter 1 will be made soon (it's up for validation) and I'll put chapter 2 up for validation either today or tomorrow. There'll be more action in the revised chapter 1.
As for Lucius, I figured I might as well introduce Lucius and Malfoy Manor sooner rather than later. Sorry about the lengthy tea party, I really couldn't figure out what I could take out with out taking away from the story.
As for Andromeda's nickname, I played with Andy for a while, but decided against it as then too many of my characters' names would end with an "ie" sound (see the next chapter which will hopefully be available for public viewing in a couple days).
Thanks for the review. :) Report Review
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