I loved the quote at the start, it was very fitting :) This was an interesting chapter, the author's notes made me wanna scream though, how does James mess this up?! I'm so curious now! ha ha I loved when Lily opened the door and they all fell in, it was very funny and Sirius' excuse of ' Quality time' was hilarious! I cant wait to read on :)
P.s. I always forget its being told to Harry in 1996, the bits where you go back to Harry and Remus are some of your best descriptive work, you really write their characters to a tee, not that the rest of your work isnt excellent as well! :) its just I think you get their emotions across brilliantly :)Author's Response: Oh James will mess this up just as soon as my muse returns for this story! They have a whole year ahead of them before they can finally get together!
I love writting the 1996 bits, they're my favorite thing about this story and I'm really happy you enjoyed them as well.
Thank you for all your reviews on this story! Report Review
This was such a sad chapter, poor lily :( the funeral description was very unusual, it wasnt like any one ive ever been to! But it felt very real :(James dealt with it so well and it really showed them all coming together :) I loved the chapter title, it was brilliant! Cant wait to read on :)
Randomgirl :)xx Report Review
Hello again! It's been a while since I read and reviewed the first chapter, but I thought I'd come back and give the second a go.
Once again, I really enjoyed the chapter-it is all building up to create what I'm sure will be an excellent marauders era story! However I DO wish there was a little more detail and description in this chapter, to lengthen it out a little bit. I also found the different point of views a little confusing, but that could just be your unique style.
Anyway, awesome chapter (I'm loving Sirius) and I'll add this to my favourites so that I can come and stalk-sorry, READ it later.
Courtney:)Author's Response: Hello darling! I'm so glad you came back!:)
Yeah, this story has a lot of POVs I know *blush*.
I'm trying to sort it out now as I go, trying to maybe clear up the plot a little bit. I hope you stick by me while I do that. :D
Again, thank you for the lovely review!
Ral Report Review
Hey there! It's Courtney, from the review swap thread:)
I love the idea of this story, and I thought this prologue was a very good introduction! Though it was very short, it did exactly what it needed to do-set up the story and tension.
I like the fact that it started with Harry finding the letter, and I am interested to see how the rest of this story plays out...I guess I'll have to read on to find out!
Courtney:)Author's Response: Hello Courtney! Thanks for stopping by! :)
I'm happy you liked the set up I made for this story. When I read a Marauder era story I always wonder in the back of my mind, how would Harry react to this? And so I decided to see.:)
Thank you for the comment! Report Review
Sorry i havent reviewed in a while but i have not abandoned this story!! i have also just been very busy! :( This was a really nice chapter, and i say nice because reading it just gave me that warm fuzzy feeling, im smiling after reading it, what happened between them was so sweet! hence 'nice'! :) i love them together its so cute. they get embarrassed by each other but still push the situation because they cant help it! my favourite line was 'Relax Elise, it's only breaking and entering if you do damage and take something' it was very clever! :) really well done on this chapter and i cant wait to see what happens next with the two of them :)
Randomgirl :)xxAuthor's Response: Hey! Welcome back!
I'm so happy that you are still reading this, since I'll never forget that you gave me one of my first reviews!
I'm happy you liked it and more Sirius/Elise fluffines will come! :) Report Review
Ohh my gosh, I love that you have the chapters all described as "the one with..." Could this perhaps be a Friends reference, or is my fangirling getting ahead of me? ;)
I like that you have the parents of the Marauders interacting. Having minor characters interact in a group is an interesting bit that we rarely see in fanfiction, I think. You gave the right amount of physical description (just enough for the reader to be able to compare and contrast amongst the characters).
I adore that Lily was so used to adhering by the rules that she wouldn't use her wand to find what she was looking for, even though it was the first day of the term. We're given a really good juxtaposition between she and Mary, and the differences in their character, with this scene.
Hehehe, Sirius. The junk food only made him hungrier. I love that little bit!
I also enjoy your description of Hogwarts: "majestic and a little intimidating." It's a really accurate way to describe it, and it's nice to read that students still feel this way even up into their Sixth Year.
I also liked your characterization of Dumbledore and how he said "great people are great people." ;_; So sad. He was so lovely.
How cute that Elise closed her eyes because she was uncomfortable with all the attention! I also like that McGonagall kind of forced her to sit between Lily and Mary, so we're given a reason why she meets them right off, rather than with some OCs who Lily would just randomly want to be all HAI BE MY BFF with. ;)
Cute ending, too. Hello, stranger. It's interesting that you chose this as an ending line rather than an introductory line, but it works so wonderfully! Great work here, of course. :)Author's Response: You caught the "Friends" refference! :) I was watching it when I first started writting and I couldn't help myself. :D
I'm really glad you enjoyed it since writting about the castle is really one of my favorites, I just love the way it looks in the movies when everybody is heading to it.
Thank you so much for reading! Nothing makes my day like new reviews when I wake up! :D Report Review
Hi there, my wonderful wonderful nano-mum! I finally have a few days off work and am not dying of some form of sickness, so I'm here to give your lovely stories a good reading! :D
Ah! I think this is an absolutely brilliant introduction; Harry discovering the contents of Sirius's past life and the girl he once loved. I think this is entirely how it would have happened in canon.
The last will and testament of what was supposed to be the greatest love story of all times. So sad that Sirius never got to read the letter, and so haunting. It really sets up the mood for the rest of your story. So then, Sirius changed who he was from when Sophie-Elise knew him to when Harry knew him? That's definitely an interesting twist.
Ohh, I hope that Harry seeks out Sophie. So that they can reminisce about Sirius together and so that she can tell him how he used to be. I'm adding this to my favorites for sure.Author's Response: Hello my immensly talented nano daughter!
I'm so happy you enjoy this. It's my baby, I've had it in my head for so long it was starting to wake me up at night yelling "write meee, write meee". :D
We're going to see a lot of Sirius in this (obviously) and also Harry and Remus and everybody else. I have it all mapped out in my head.
Thank you for reading and for the lovely comment! *blush* Report Review
Hi darling! First of all, you've done one of my favorite things which is have a back to Hogwarts on the express chapter. Something about the set up of those, old friends, a new year, I just love it. I liked the introduction to Sirius as well as the information on his family. I think showing the four of them together as a family was a really awesome touch.
The mention if Snape as well as lily marking in her Potions book also set an awesome tone and I really appreciated your inclusion of James's thoughts regarding Lily and Severus's falling out.
The sorting as well as our OC's entrance was as equally entertaining, and I really loved how welcoming lily and Mary were to their new house mate!
This chapter just filled me with back to Hogwarts warm fuzzies ♥
Can't wait to read the next!
JamiAuthor's Response: Hello!
I like "back to school" chapters as well. Something about seeing the castle in a distance and such.
I tried to give them a sense of familiarity without going too much into detail. I'm happy you liked it!
Thank you for the feedback!
Ral Report Review
First of all, I wondered if the title was from Streissand! Awesome choice.
Anyway, I usually shy away from Sirius OC stories, just because people don't usually try and explain why Harry never would have been told about them. But the way you started this with Harry's day, him opening the package and being the entire reason the story is started in the first place, is really original!
I'm a big baby when it comes to Sirius feels. That man endured so much and got such little happiness with the time he had left. He lost everything, and then when he thought he was so close to getting it back, it all slipped out from under him. and bah :(.
This was such an intriguing start! I'm excited to go back and get to know your version of the young Mr. Black.
I also think you did a good job getting Harry right. I could never write anything from his PoV.. I just don't get him. I have a one shot where I needed to do a small section of his, and the only reason it turned out half way decent is because my beta picked it apart for me. Really, I feel like he's one of the hardest characters, so awesome job getting him right in this!
I also wondered whatever happened to the flat he purchased in London when he was younger, and I love the idea of the landlord saving the things until they can finally be claimed. I think Remus's intuition to give Harry those was perfect, and again a very nice way to slide us into this!Author's Response: Hello there!
First of all, thank YOU for all the lovely reviews, they were a great way to start my morning!
This story makes me a little nervous to write, I had taken a break from writting (4 years of break to be exact) and then this idea of the letter and Harry kept bugging me so I had to put it down, but my English was a bit rusty at that moment and I'm still desperately trying not to fall into any cliches with this.
I'm so glad that you like my description of Harry, he is one that is always tricky to write. In my other story he's all grown up and you have a little space to play around, but writting him during canon years is very hard.
Thank you for reading, I'll answer your other reviews too, but I just wanted to tell you how happy and humbled I am by your comments and how much I appreciate the feedback.
Also, I'll be finishing "Before They Fall" today, so let's see if my intuition about those plans was right! =)
XoXo Report Review
just spent the last hour or so reading this and I actually couldn't stop haha. When I came to the last chapter I was about ready to cry when there was no 'next' button :P can't wait for you to post the next bit :DAuthor's Response: I'm almost sure I responded to your review before and for some reason it didn't show. I'm so sorry about that, I always try to answer my readers right away.
I'm happy you like the story and thank you for the feedback! :) Report Review
I saw your MTA topic on the forums, and decided to give one of your stories a read. I'm glad that I did. This is a very interesting start and I can't wait to read more. The letter has me intrigued, and I'm curious to know who exactly this Sophie is. So, needless to say, I'll be reading on.
~LeighAuthor's Response: Hello there! Thank you for reading and reviewing!
This story was the reason I joined the archive, I wanted to write it so bad. I know I haven't updated in ages, but I have it all planned out in my mind and when I want to write it down, boom, writer's block. But I will try to get the next chapter up soon!
XoXo Report Review
Great first chapter and I love how you were able to slip it right in to year six without the need to retocon anything. Report Review
A-ma-zing! I need more, seriously.Author's Response: Thank you! You made me blush :) next chapter is almost ready and will be here soon. :D Report Review
I just wanted to let you know how great I think the story is so far! I haven't been reading hpffs for a while and really wanted to get back into it. Im usually really fussy with marauder fics as its my favourite! But I really think you've captured the atmosphere of that era! I was hooked straight away!
The story is fun and you're developing the characters really well. I esp love the Harry/Remus bits as its really refreshing. The letter in the first chapter was really moving!
cant wait to read the next chapter! Thanks
xxxAuthor's Response: Hey!
Thank you so much for a lovely review. I know how important it is to find a fic that really gets you back in the game so to say. This is my first piece in maybe, 5 years I think so I still feel a little rusty at times.
Thanks again for the feedback!
xoxo Report Review
This chapter was AMAZING! The best one yet. Their date at the end is so perfect, like something out of a romance novel :) I cant wait for the next chapter, you write Sirius' part so well! The conversation between Sirius and James had me laughing out loud it was very quick witted and really realistic :) Please update soon the next chapter is a must read!!! :)
Btw thanks for the mention in the authors notes :DAuthor's Response: Next chapter's in line for validation! :) thanks again for leaving your feedback. :D
xoxo Report Review
Good chapter, it was very funny when she said you and james! Im glad u made him say something though i thought u were just going to leave it at that! :) cant wait for the next chapter
Randomgirl :)xxAuthor's Response: Hey, I'm so glad to see you are following this story :D
Yeah, I'm not a big fan of leaving things unsaid and I couldn't very well let them do it.
Thanks for the review, next chapter will be up sometime next week, it's almost done.
XoXo Report Review
I actually forgot this is being told to harry until it went back to 1996, i usually dont read stories that switch back and forth but i like that u have captured how hard it is for remus to tell but how nice it is for Harry to hear.I like Sophie -Elise as a main character i look forward to seeing how she develops throughout the story. Cant wait to read the next chapter!
Randomgirl :)xxAuthor's Response: thanks for taking the time to review. I really appreciate it. :)
next chapter is awaiting validation, it should be up in a day or two.
I really like this chapter, the descriptions are brilliant:) you describe hogwarts and it feels like im seeing it for the first time, also i love the quote at the end :) Also the fact sirius observes people is something i havent heard before but is believable ,well done, on to the next chapter:)
Randomgirl :)xx Report Review
A very interesting start :) cant wait to read on :) Report Review
I really like this story! & I'm normally really picky when it comes to anything to do with the Marauders. I like how you come back to Harry's perspective once in a while, it's really nice to see how Remus is dealing with retelling the story.
You have little grammar problems but it's nothing dramatic. And a word of advice, make sure that Sophie-Elise has a flaw. So far she just seems to be too perfect and as the story progresses that might get annoying. I know this because I've made a too perfect character once before and hated her when I read back on it :P
anywho, update soon! :)Author's Response: Hello,
thanks for taking the time to review! :)
I know that so far she doesn't seem to be flawed but I'm still building up to the plot and trying to introduce every character.
Next chapter will be up soon, I'm working on it. :) Report Review
OMG OMG CAN'T WAIT FOR NEXT CHAPTERAuthor's Response: Hey!
It's submitted for validation, so keep an eye out for it!
Thank you for your review!:D Report Review
I'm actually trying to write a story like this, hasn't turned out too well yet though :/ I'm so glad you can write, keep it up please, there's so many stories that are abandoned. Please don't make this one coz I really really love it :PAuthor's Response: Hey, thanks for taking the time to review.
I don't plan on abandoning this story, I've never liked abandoning them before. Writting gives me a break from everyday life, so I hope to find the time to update! :D
Good luck on your story and if you need any help feel free to ask! Report Review
As soon as I read the summary, I knew immediately that I'd have to read this--Marauders are my absolute favorite era. xD I really loved your take on this; somehow, it makes it all the more authentic that Remus would be the one to tell the story, versus just seeing it from an OC's eyes. ^__^
You managed to characterize Harry well, which is no easy feat seeing as we know so much about him and it's not hard for him to stray into the realms of OOC. Having estrablished that, I think that your Harry is exactly what post-death Harry in the books is like--saddened and eager to know more, especially now that Sirius had died.
One thing I think you could improve on is expanding on the details. Your writing is very good so far--especially the introduction paragraph, which really drew us into the atmosphere of the story, but I think fleshing out some of the parts would make it better. For example, in the dialogue where Harry talks to Remus, you could include the action--did Harry ask anxiously? Was there a crease in Remus's forehead as he talked? etc, etc. Details like this could really help the reader visualize the scene.
Overall, this was a great start so far, and I'm interested in learning more about Sophie-Elise and your take of the Marauders era! :)
~Chocolate_FrogAuthor's Response: Thank you for your feedback! The Prologue was just to set the context of the story, future chapters will be more detailed and longer (I hope writer's block doesn't hit me)! Report Review
A transfer student :D I love reading about young James Sirius Peter Remus and Lily ^^ so keep this up ;)Author's Response: thank you for the reviews :)
I hope to have the next chapter in a few days so keep an eye out for it! Report Review
I like the way the story opens! We all know Sirius is dead and Harry is missing him and the way you opened says that Sirius has a secret or something that Harry ignores :D then there it is, this woman ;) I'll go read the next chapter yaay ^^ Report Review
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