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Reading Reviews for The Lost Daughters
  
2 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Starkidgleek Greek Mythology Class

18th July 2012:
This chapter was much slower, but why is she dorming with a student from a year below? Shouldn't she be with Hermione?

I thought thee characters were good, but Ron seemed a little too protective and willing to be her friend... maybe have him not meet her after the class? I don't know, maybe you should make them talk in the common room or something before he defends her? Just a suggestion.

I would also add some more details and reactions. Don't be afraid to have a a few more long paragraphs! Just counter them with some dialougue, and keep them spaced through the story.

Still love the story, and keep up the great work!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the ideas and reviews! :D

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Review #2, by Starkidgleek Finding Out Who I Really Am

18th July 2012:
I really like the idea of this story, but I think it went a little too fast. Maybe make them know each other before Hogwarts, and add a bit more background information in the begining? I dunno, it just moved a little fast. I think that making the two girls friends before Hogwarts would help with that.

I really think you should continue, but maybe if you add some more detail and background, it won't move too fast. Love the concept, and I can't wait to read more!

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review! I know, it's only my second story, but I'll try my best to improve! :D Please keep reviewing, and I'll continue to update! :)

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