So far, it's pretty neat. I would like to see something that makes it above average though, something that makes it stand out (I know, way easier said than done). I like how you're telling the James/Lily interactions from a third person point of view and how they're not the main focus of the story. I also like how you're using language to get your point across, you're not blunt and obvious. Congratulations on a good beginning, and may there be more to come. Report Review
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