Reading Reviews for Ignite
447 Reviews Found

Review #1, by StarFeather Fever Pitch

8th October 2015:
Hi, Im happy to be back to your story again. The story got more interesting after the first student caught the unidentified infection in the previous chapter. Im completely knocked out by your well planned characterization. If I dont have work tomorrow, Id like to read till the end of the story. One after another, teachers got sick and most of the students caught the contagion and Rose Weasley had to be charged with looking after them. Even Lily Potter was caught. Plus a drunken unreliable professor. How can I say, its thrilling, cant stop reading, not only mystery but also full of friendship. And you set one more entertainment for readers. Investigation by desperate students. At least Methuselah Jones isnt desperate, I know. Im certain he will help Scorpius with finding answers.

I enjoyed the scene of the question and the answer in front of Ravenclaw CR. How did you think of the question?

Ill be back tomorrow! Congrats, Dobby Awards!


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Review #2, by TreacleTart Heartburn

20th September 2015:
Hello again!

Back for chapter 2!

Wow! I don't know this Miranda girl well at all, but can I just tell you how much I dislike her already. Whatever she did to Scorpius sounds pretty awful. It's a shame that he doesn't feel like sticking up for himself and correcting the lie. It must be miserable walking around having everyone think your worthless.

I really enjoyed the whole interaction with Warwick and Scorpius. I liked that Warwick didn't just plant the dungbombs the first chance he got, but instead waited and planned the best moment to do it. He sort of reminds me a bit of Colin Creevey in a way.

I wonder what Albus was upset about in the beginning in the common room. Everything so far suggests that he doesn't really get upset or lash out in frustration, but he was clearly frustrated with Scorpius. That seems unusual and then for him to deflect the questions instead of giving Scorpius a proper answer.

Rose came off as a bit of a git here. Obviously, she's listening to what her boyfriend tells her, but it's really a shame that she doesn't realize he's a humongous git. Anyway, the way she laid into Scorpius like that was a bit below the belt. If she could stop being so blinded by hate for a few minutes she might actually realize what's going on. When she said that about Miranda, I was a little surprised that Albus didn't say something. I know he's sworn to secrecy, but I think it probably really bothered him not being able to correct his cousin.

This was another good chapter! The dynamic between all of your characters is excellent and I'm really enjoying how this is progressing.

Good work! I'll be back for the next chapter soon!


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Review #3, by TreacleTart Steam Out

20th September 2015:
Hi there!

I'm making an effort to review all of the Dobby nominated stories and that led me here. Congratulations on your nomination!

To be honest, I'm not really sure how I haven't read your stories before. I've heard nothing but positive reviews of them and just the summary of this story alone was enough to convince me that I'm going to like this.

I was immediately drawn into your story by Scorpius wandering through the train station on his own. I wondered where Draco and Astoria were and why they wouldn't accompany him on his departure for school. It's kind of sad that he feels like it's less complicated if they aren't there. I wonder if that's because somethings wrong with Draco or because Scorpius is the normal embarrassed teenager.

Your characterizations really stood out to me. I adore Scorpius as the snarky, quick as a whip, sort of socially awkward boy. I also enjoyed Albus as calm and collected. I think the way you wrote the friendship between the two of them creates a really nice balance. They seem to sort of feed off each other.

There was one thing that I really loved and it was a minor detail, but something that stood out, was the fact that Ron was nice to Scorpius and even laughed at his jokes. I literally have never seen anyone make Ron amicable towards Scorpius, but I'm so glad that you did. I always liked to think that Ron had a good sense of humor and was a nice guy and I think after all of those years he might be able to move past his own problems with Draco. The part about Hermione's last name made me giggle a bit too. That seems exactly like something she'd do.

Rose was quite the pistol and I'm not sure why she hates Scorpius so much. To me it almost seemed that he's really into her, but since she isn't into him, he's decided to drive her crazy so at least he gets a bit of attention.

As for Rose's boyfriend, he seems like a tool. I know Scorpius was looking to start problems, but there's just something about him that grates on my nerves. Maybe it's his inability to keep up with the witty repartee.

I thought what Harry said to Scorpius was really sweet. Of course, Harry can relate to being alone at the train station and it was really kind of him to let Scorpius know that he was there for him if he needed it. I know Scorpius felt awkward about it, but I think deep down it means more to him than he's letting on.

This first chapter really was very enjoyable and did a great job of introducing each character. I feel like I now have a clear sense of who each of them is and what's going on in their lives. I can't wait to see them develop and to see where this plot goes.

As far as CC goes, I did notice one tiny little typo, but that's it.

And wve had this conversation over and over. - weve

All in all, a very solid start. I'm truly eager to read more. In fact, I think I'll head to the next chapter right now!


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Review #4, by Penelope Inkwell Sackcloth and Ashes

18th September 2015:
Hey there! I remember I enjoyed this story so much the first time, but I wanted to re-familiarize myself with it a bit before Dobby voting.

Poor Scorpius. I mean, Albus had a point--what he did was more than a little stupid and unfair. But, like he says, Scorpius prefers an audience. Having 2/3 of the school or so giving him the silent treatment is probably the worst punishment you could give him. Especially with Al not talking to him, either.

The difference was that where Rose ranted, Hestia was more the kind to conclude her diatribe with informative pamphlets... And according to Albus, Scorpius had taken the pamphlet explaining what a menace to society he was and had it framed. She'd not had the heart to tell Hestia.

Somehow I think that leather pants aren't going to be quite as anti-Malfoy as Rose suspects...

I'm glad that you show us this bit with Rose and Hector. When smart girls are taken in by jerkish guys, I really like when you get to see why, because otherwise it doesn't seem to match up to their character. I mean, 'we're all fools in love' or whatever, but since it's quite clear that Rose isn't at all in love with Hector, I'm glad that we can see why she doesn't realize how he is. He's a completely different, seemingly quite likable and even considerate, person around her.

Oh Methuselah. You're such a frustration, and such a joy *cries*

It cracks me up that Scorpius is so up on the gossip, but it seems very him. He's such a social creature.

I have to say, insulting someone's earrings is pretty catty and unnecessary, but I think Selena's pretty justified in being miffed over getting detention. Especially a Forbidden Forest detention. No earring is worth that.

'Presumed destroyed, Professor, it's not proven.'

Reading this just reminds me of how incredibly well you manage to weave such humor into the angsty, horrible situations that are soon to come. That's such a gift. Congratulations on your Dobby nominations! You've earned them!


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Review #5, by HeyMrsPotter Like Wildfire

13th September 2015:
Me again :)

I like that there's a hint of something going on with Scorpius and Draco in this chapter, and that makes sense with him travelling to King's Cross on his own for the previous two years. I wonder what it is... Rose pushing that subject can't be a good thing!

I really loved your desription of the forest, especially when the centaurs pased by, I really felt like I was there hearing them with the group. The twist in events here was so exciting! The build up was great, with the centaurs being spooked and then the fire and what happened to Scorpius at the end! I need to read the last few Dobby nominees but I'm going to add this to my favourites and come back to it asap!

I can really see why this was nominated, congratulations again.


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Review #6, by HeyMrsPotter Sackcloth and Ashes

13th September 2015:

Another really enjoyable chapter. I liked the dynamic between Rose and her friends in her dormitory. It's obvious from their conversation how much she complains about Scorpius, he really gets under her skin doesn't he?

I'm so excited to read on about the groups venture into the forbidden forest, I can only assume it's going to lead to more disagreements between Rose and Scorpius, which I'm very much looking forward to :p


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Review #7, by HeyMrsPotter The Melting Pot

13th September 2015:
Hi, again :)

Oh goodness, it all went on in this chapter! I can see why Scorpius reacted the way that he did because of Rose throwing the Miranda thing in his face but at the same time Albus was totally right, it's Miranda and Flynn that Scorpius is angry at, not Rose. Having said that, Rose definitely gave as good as she got with that bat-bogey hex! Boy, there's a lot of tension between those two isn't there? I feel sorry for Albus being caught in the middle of them.

Another brilliant chapter :)


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Review #8, by HeyMrsPotter Heartburn

13th September 2015:
Me again :)

I'm really intrigued as to what the story behind Scorpius and Miranda's split it. By not telling us straight away, you've got me really interested in the story already. It's obviously something really bad...And the fact that Rose is using that as a way to insult him, oh dear! I wonder why he won't tell the truth about them.

omg, I laughed so hard at this line- I know that would be a dark, dark deed indeed, but I am not responsible for the existence of Hector Flynn. Youll have to take that up with his mother

Another great chapter!


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Review #9, by HeyMrsPotter Steam Out

13th September 2015:
Hello! I'm here on a quest to read the Dobby noms! Congratulations on your nomination :D

Hey, Mister Potter, Mrs Potter. Little Potter. when I first read this I had to do a double take because of my username :p

I think this is a great opening chapter. You've given just enough away so that I know where we are in the next-gen lives, what houses they've been placed in and such. I'm liking the personalities that you've given them so far, though I'm not keen on Flynn at all, Rose needs to dump him asap :p Harry was also perfectly in character by asking Scorpius if he could help at all, that was a nice moment between them.

On to the next!


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Review #10, by Penelope Inkwell Steam Out

11th September 2015:
Hello hello! I know I really enjoyed this story, but apparently I failed, when first reading through, to leave a review on this first chapter. But that's about to be remedied!

Ugh, Rose, break up with this guy. He's not even worthy of an adjective. Just an...ugh.

I liked Scorpius' characterization right from the start. You can tell that he uses humor as a shield, yeah, but it's also a central component of his overall personality. He's incorrigible, but you can't help but like him (unless, maybe, you're Rose. Or a scorned Hufflepuff). I enjoyed his awkward interactions with the Potter-Weasley parents, as everyone tried to figure out what to make of him and how to be polite.

Oh, Methuselah. Reading about him all the way back at the beginning gives me many emotions!


And wve had this conversation over and over.
--"w''ve" is short an e and has an extra apostrophe.

Your characterization is as excellent as I remember. Really good work, and congratulations on your Dobby nomination!


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Review #11, by StarFeather Like Wildfire

5th September 2015:
Hi, Ive read through from the first to here and decided to leave review. I like the chapter 1 and this chapter so far. Its so exciting to read the part when the centaurs were coming. Its so thrilling. You set each character very well. I like your definition of Albus, Scorpius and Rose. Albus is always calm and sees every good nature in a person like his grandmother, Lily. Scorpius is seeking for something thrilling and ends in being misunderstood and labeled the son of the Death Eaters. Rose always thinks that Scorpius is suspicious. I like the spot where she spoke ill of Scorpius, saying, So next time you misbehave and get away with it, Malfoy, I should just write to your father? I like his reaction and her apologetic attitude, too.

I love the scene when Scorpius grabbed her hand focusing on centaurs in front of them, hiding with Albus. Rose squeezed back tightly, which was the most impressive part in this story. After reading this story, I went back to the forums and posted your story in the best novel at Dobbys.

The last part is very intriguing and mysterious. Ill keep reading.


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Review #12, by MuggleMaybe Melt Into Me

17th August 2015:
I have no words.

That's a lie. I have many words, but they are all jumbled with the emotions in my head from reading this. Perhaps a list...

1) I got only one hour of sleep last night thanks to my total disregard for anything other than this story.

2) THIS--> 'Get in the queue for hell, but be ready for a long wait 'cos some people have got express tickets.' --> WHAT A LINE! :wub:

3) Everything about this chapter was just so overwhelmingly, emotionally amazing. And then you go and close with that letter from Harry, who I already love so much, and MY HEART WAS NOT PREPARED FOR THIS!!!

4) Also about the letter, but I feel the poetic justice in Harry giving Sirius's watch to Scorpius deserves its own accolades. So brilliant, so moving.

THIS STORY IS UNBELIEVABLY GOOD! Like, why aren't you published yet? (Or maybe you are?) I would pay the outrageous price at a bookstore to own this book. In hardcover. Even if it wasn't on sale. Sincerely.

I hope you are VERY VERY VERY proud of this story, because you should be!!!

In awe,

Author's Response: I'm still only a LITTLE sorry about not enough sleep due to story reading. *cough*

Sometimes I give Scorpius good one-liners. Actually, no, sometimes Scorpius breaks into my brain and delivers good one-liners, then yells at me until I write them down. He's finnicky like that.

I was so excited when I got to write the letter from Harry! The bond with him and Scorpius wasn't planned at ALL, and then I was writing the very first chapter and the similarities between them struck me. I knew I had to revisit it, which was tough as they're separated by quarantine for the whole bloody story. But the letter seemed apt, as did Scorpius getting Sirius' watch.

Any publishing I have received is all self-published, and science fiction crime thrillers, which isn't always the cup of tea of my Harry Potter fanfic fans. If only I could publish this, alas. JK would rightfully have me. :-D

Thanks a whole bunch for your kind words and review!

- Cath

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Review #13, by MuggleMaybe Fever Pitch

16th August 2015:
MuggleMaybe here for the Review & Rec Dobbys thread. :)

Oh my goodness! This story is too addictive for it's own good! I meant to stop and review every chapter. I meant to stop for the night after chapter 5. And now here I am at the end of chapter 7, and I really don't know how I got here because it was all one suspenseful and exciting blur of plagues, bat-boogey hexes, centaurs, and teenagers too proud to admit they might actually fancy someone rather than hate them.

In other words, I am loving the HECK out of this story!!

I really enjoy your version of the next gen characters. Scorpius Malfoy, who I generally love, remains lovable in his way. Rose is brilliant and biting and short tempered. Al is level-headed, responsible, goodhearted. All of this *sounds* very typical of next gen, but somehow you've managed to make it all fresh and new in your rendition.

Frankly, I have to leave a review, because I want to leave a Dobby's request and this was the previous rec (and because this story absolutely deserves the review! I'm giving it 10/10) - but I honestly can't think of anything more to say because I am too distracted with finding out what happens next. THAT is how amazingly engaging this story is!

So, yeah. Bye. ON TO CHAPTER 8! :D

p.s. it seems rather likely I'm going to be up way too late tonight now... ;)

Author's Response: Woo! I love it when people find this story anew. So glad you've been enjoying it, and so glad you've carried on reading!

Scorpius is easily lovable, so I'm more pleased to know you love Rose, who sometimes gets a bad rap from readers at htis early stage of the story. But she is brilliant and flawed.

Thanks a whole bunch for the review and I'm a LITTLE sorry you stayed up too late. But not that sorry. ;)

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Review #14, by TheFawkesRebirth Sackcloth and Ashes

6th July 2015:
This story is really strong. As someone who's working on a big piece like this (or at least attempting to!), I'm glad I'm reading this. Your attention to detail is pretty brilliant as far as fanfiction goes. It makes me feel incompetent, but for me it's a good reference in that it shows me what I should be striving for!! The story is good, but it's also enjoyable. There's kind of a difference. A lot of the good writers on here get too caught up in description and flowery language. Not even JKR does that, and I think there's a reason.

Author's Response: Thanks! Really glad you're enjoying this, and I would much rather inspire than intimidate. I do try to take my writing standards seriously, but the point is entertainment. So I have no doubt you can do it too, and if you and your readers are having fun, that's what really matters!

And no, I don't do lengthy prose. Rambling, maybe, but not pretentious. My prose is thoroughly workmanlike, sometimes to its detriment. ;)

Thanks for the review, and good luck with your fic!

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Review #15, by Roisin Embers

5th May 2015:
Ah! This chapter went to Alright so fast that it made my head spin! Which is sort of perfect, because that's exactly how the characters feel. Like, "OK YAY ALL BETTER"--except Methuselah is DEAD. It's a bit like DH in that way. Like, "YAY VICTORY" but also "AH TONKS/REMUS/FRED!"

But yeah, all in all, the tonal shift here is so perfectly dizzying. After SO MUCH TIME just them all cooped up in the castle with unconscious students, it's really bizarre to see reporters jumping out of shrubbery.

"Just regular dead."--D:

Oh man, Father/Son showdown. Went about exactly as I had hoped and expected. I'm glad you didn't try to make a sympathetic Draco. Like, there's canon fodder for that interpretation, but it's easy to take too far. Draco's most sympathetic moments also happened to be his most pathetic, which doesn't say a great deal. And he was never brave so much as passive. While I can't see him as a Big Bad, he's often too easily forgiven. Like, he was complicit in TORTURING Hermione Granger. We can't really let that one go too easily.

'Flicker of a smile on Ron's face'!--Nice. It's easy to go the Overprotective Dad route with Ron, but I liked that you've given him enough reason to like Scorpius.

'I never liked the place'--BAH. RIGHT?!

Oh man, OH MAN. This story was SO GOOD.


I've really enjoyed it SO MUCH, and it's definitely high on my All Time Top Favorites list.


Author's Response: I'm glad the chapter is SATISFYING in its tonal shift, I was never 110% sure on ending things so abruptly. To further explore the aftermath would require the story to leave Hogwarts, and to look to the long-term. I didn't want to do the former at all - this is absolutely a Hogwarts story - and there was always going to be a sequel, so I knew the weeks and months afterwards could be covered there.

So Selena spends the final chapter crying downstairs while everyone else kind of numbly goes, 'We're alive, yay? But Methuselah is DEAD.' Regular dead.

I entirely Dislike Canon Draco. I see the elements in which he had no choice and I sympathise, but the sympathy doesn't outweigh the bad for me. I'd like to think he WOULD become a better man than he does in the Stygian Trilogy, and Pottermore implies that's the case. This is a fairly Worst Case Scenario family man Draco Malfoy. But I do think it's a POSSIBLE path he could take.

It's more complicated than Scorpius ever thinks it is, and it's even more complicated than Draco presents himself here, but nooo. He can care about his son and still not be a Good Guy.

I DESPISE - with the fire of a THOUSAND SUNS - the Ron who auto-hates Rose being with Scorpius, however decent a guy Scorpius (or sometimes the Malfoys as a whole) are. Ron's not an idiot and he's had 25 years now to grow up, slow down, and pay attention. The moment he realises Scorpius isn't so hot on his family, Scorp is okay by him. Basically I'd fire that cliche into space if I could, I will defend Ron to the death, fight me.

I am so thrilled you've enjoyed the story! It does continue... with some tonal shifts, which I only quite realise the severity of when people talk about the fun and humour in Ignite, but yeah, really glad you've had fun, really grateful for all of the excellent, excellent reviews.


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Review #16, by Roisin Blaze of Glory

5th May 2015:
Oh no. I do not like this chapter title. I don't like this chapter title one bit. I know that the idiom begins "to go down in a..." D:

Every time I think I can't enjoy Lockett more, BAM, she does it again. She creates such great rapport with the other characters, and I love the interplay between everyone.

Also, good job making this SUPER DUPER HIGH STAKES!

It kind of works out perfectly, Patronus-wise: Albus already rocks at that stuff, and then ScoRose and MethuSelena all have romantic kindling.

And of course Scorpius' is a fox! The trickster!

You do a really good job of making Dementors creepy. The way you write them as kind of weirdly organic, like fungus, and not consistently tangible really gives me the chills.






Then again, as INCREDIBLY BUMMED as I am about Methuselah sacrificing himself, it works really well on the literary level. Like, shows the most personal arc and all (from him nearly running away early on). He got something to live for, and it was precisely that which enabled him to sacrifice himself. Also, Selena's sort of been least traumatized by everything, and this will probably prove to be a major turning point from her. She of all of them hadn't yet done a huge amount of growing up (which is part of what I liked about her). But I can also see the value of this experience in terms of character development.

"--because they had won."

I need to go curl up in a little ball and sob now.

Author's Response: Ominous chapter title is ominous.

I don't think Lockett worked as well as I'd hoped as a Mentor to the GROUP, but I'm so happy with her relationship with Scorpius and just her as a character that I'm okay with it all.

Hee, romantic kindling. And I didn't realise until later I didn't get to show Selena and Rose's patronus, but we will see those in later stories.

I liked to get into the idea of the creation of Dementors - like, how do these things come into BEING? And they're basically at the epicentre of a birthing lair, so there'll be fully-formed ones and ones still coming into being, and ones probably emerging right then, formed by the gang's feelings and doubts - I'm glad it worked, basically!

Methuselah was always written to die. I knew there would be a Death at the end of Ignite, and I knew it would be the Smart Guy Logicking himself into the sacrifice (instead of Scorpius running on guts and glory). So, rather cruelly, I wanted him to have an incomplete story, to deny the reader closure to him and Selena, because... 'killing' the story is a way of making the reader feel the killing of the character, so to speak. As other characters feel the void of his absence, the reader feels the void of denied future plot.

It'll just be another story, really. Selena's story, and honestly I've never had a character who picks up a ball and rolls with it and grows greater than any of my plans than Selena does in Starfall, and is still doing as I write Ignite.

...yeah okay, my last line is just cruel.

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Review #17, by Roisin That Vital Spark

5th May 2015:
I LOVE Scorpius' reasoning for getting Rose chocolates and flowers! LOVE IT. Just so brilliant and lovely and amazing :D

Man, Scorpius spends WAY too much time beating himself up. Just because the story with Thane is a lie doesn't mean he can't be proud of the victory. He's way too preoccupied with this idea that he's getting undeserved recognition. GUH SCORPIUS JUST BE HAPPY.

Also, Rose saying she could take on a whole army of Dementors feels an AWFUL lot like foreshadowing.

'I just have one,' said Scorpius. 'Dementors.'

'Not a question,' said Methuselah.

'All right. Dementors?'

'What, specifically, is the query regarding -'



I always love seeing Lockett and Scorpius talk. While so superficially different they still have so much in common. Self-loathing, to start. It's really amazing to see how their relationship evolved over the course of this story. I reckon that Scorp is closer to he than any of the students, despite the fact that Rose spent the most time with her.

AH! Methuselah's angst here is SO Breakfast Club! Like, that EXACT idea gets floated! And also, I don't think ANY of them will be any good at getting back to normalcy. Whatever Selena likes to think, I can't imagine she could just bounce back to her previous life. She's SEEN THINGS, MAN.


Author's Response: I recently re-read this chapter and thought, 'I pray to God Scorpius isn't coming across to much was "you're not like OTHER GIRLS."' Because that's super not the intention of the scene but he could probably stomp further away from it. But YES, he means it NICELY, like she's more important to him than his past, superficial relationships, but it doesn't mean she shouldn't get the fun, superficial bits too.

Scorpius is an expert at snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. Couldn't possibly comment on the army of Dementors comment, cough.

Methuselah's right, it's really NOT a question.

Scorpius and Lockett are definitely closer than Lockett is with any of the others. Rose worked with her, but that relationship stayed very... professional, for lack of a better term. Other than Albus' brief sally, Scorpius is the only one who tried to relate to Lockett as a person, and he's the only one who particularly responded to her brand of... trying to help? Not that she TRIED to work with the others, but I think her acerbic sarcasm had more of a dent on him than the rest. It's a somewhat unusual mentor/protege relationship, but it's one I'm happy with, and it's very important to them both.

I need to see the Breakfast Club, evidently, as Ignite is apparently Breakfast Club meets Harry Potter as directed by Michael Bay. ;) But YEAH, normalcy just doesn't happen after this, and Methuselah's hardly wrong to worry. Especially about Selena.


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Review #18, by Roisin Freeze Out

5th May 2015:
Haha, Scorpius is ALWAYS winging it. That's a pretty good summary of his entire strategy thus far.

UGH, what is Thane's GAME? Scorpius has a really good point about dumping a plague and then getting upset when fatalities happen. I just CAN'T fig where Thane is coming from!

IIRC, there was some mention of the open-ended-ness of Thane's side of the contract last chapter. I'm surprised he thinks it's such a coup to have reinforcements when EVERYONE could see that coming.

OH HUZZAH HOUSE ELVES! YESSS! Oh my god SO BRILLIANT. And man, I love how all the simmering issues around House Elves end up coming to a point here. That Harley would be stoked to beat on some wizards got introduced early on, and it's all just so masterfully well played here.

'This! Is not! A person! Beating the tar out of you!'--YES.

And this is really tiny, but I like the word choice of "stun splashed." I haven't seen that before but it's a perfect sort of image.

It seems like when push comes to shove, Scorpius always responds bodily. Throwing himself at Thane; punching the redcaps. Like "SCREW MAGIC, LET'S TUSSLE."

THANE WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? HE IS THE MOST ENIGMATIC EVER. Also, props on making him helpful AND scary at the same time. His little thing about tracking down Scorp's mum and torturing Albus reminds me of Breaking Bad a bit ("I will kill your wife; I will kill your son; I will kill your infant daughter").

"And a cure was supposed to be out by then"--WHAT? What is this plot, Slide? WHAT IS THIS GAME? (I have to imagine Hogwarts was some sort of distraction designed to cause chaos).

Hahaha, 'the otter didn't smile because it couldn't.' You manage to throw in so many silly little things that nicely offset everything else. Also, I liked Scorpius forcing a smile. His minstrel mask has seriously been peeled back at this point, and there's no longer any question that his Joker Act is just that--an act.

Oh man, I've been friend-shipping Scorpius and Harley for so long! It's so amazing to see them have this little pow-wow! And you manage to add another layer to your theme on heroism here, how it's just not as available to elves. Everyone else will seem brave, but the elves were 'just doing there jobs.' RIGHT IN THE FEELS, all of it!

And yay Rose is better! Now here's to hoping he doesn't immediately do something stupid.

Author's Response: Scorpius, making it up as he goes along, Jack Sparrow-style. I could see that. Thane has his reasons, though I do string them out for quite a while. Who he is, who he pretends to be...

It's probable I shouldn't have pointed out the reinforcements loophole last chapter, as dramatically it does hurt the scene for Thane to do EXACTLY what was predicted (at that point). On the other hand, sometimes he's not as clever as he thinks he is? But that isn't what I was trying to imply to the reader, so I probably shouldn't have drawn attention to it with Lockett noting it.

And yes, the final payoff of the House Elf plot! Harley is okay to take a little demeaning if it means he gets to beat up some dark wizards. Or any wizards, a little bit, but it helps for it to be righteous.

I suppose if a Shield is a barrier, then describing magic as splashing against it came automatically. Could use 'crash', but 'splash' is gentler. And also implies the barrier's sturdier.

It's true that when in doubt, Scorpius stops using magic. I admit, I'm not sure why. I suppose he often assumes that people will be BETTER at him at magic, and while he doesn't think he'll be the most physically powerful, it's probably more 'when in doubt, be unpredictable.'

Enigmatic and unpleasant Thane. It's possibly a little cruel/unsatisfying for the mystery of him and his motivations to be stretched across all three books when it's SO KEY in resolving certainly Ignite. 'cos that's years of telling people, 'wait and see.' Ah well. Haven't seen Breaking Bad (I know, I should); for villainy I do sometimes draw on Philip Seymour Hoffman's antagonist from Mission Impossible 3. Average movie, delightfully casual EVIL.

It's got to be so weird putting a person's expressions and mannerisms, especially one you know well, onto an ANIMAL. And the game's up, Scorp, people know you're not just a joker, flee!

I totally would see wizards dismissing the works of the elves. They're just elves, right, they do what they're told? Who cares that they risked life and limb, it's what they DO, isn't it! Horrific and casual and rather likely, and while Harley knows it's the truth he's not going to be Noble and Accepting it. Resigned, but bitter.

Scorpius, immediately do something stupid? Naaah.

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Review #19, by x-rayLady Embers

25th April 2015:
This was a brilliant, well-written story! So much so that I am wondering if you'd happen to have some original fiction published out there somewhere. And even if you don't you really should consider doing so ;-)

Author's Response: I do have original fiction out there, though it's self-published so doesn't really count. ;) Check my Author Page here on HPFF for some links.

Very glad you've enjoyed the story! Thanks for reviewing.

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Review #20, by Roisin Melt Into Me

7th April 2015:
MEOW HARRY AW! Totally made me tear up, there!

Also, way to nest a bunch of family intrigue into that letter! I'm now wondering if some of Draco's less-than-innocent business dealings have something to do with the larger conspiracy at play.

It makes a lot of sense to me that Harry would give him a watch--after all, he didn't have a family to give HIM one, and so he would know how important it is to step in for someone else. Like, he totally knows what Scorpius is going through, so it makes sense that he'd sort of adopt him the way the Weasleys adopted him and the Potters adopted Sirius

I again loved Selena and her Emotional Wisdom and advice-giving. AND HER AND METHY ARE SO CUTE ZOMG! So many WAFFles.

And I really loved the conversation between Scorpius and Albus. Scorp did a really good job of making him feel better, and also sort of made the case for the reader. I loved his point about how they're all a team, and they're all flawed, and they have each others' backs.

I sorta wanna maybe suspect Draco as the big bad, but that doesn't really work--he wouldn't know that Scorpius would get detention and end up in the protection zone. And even if he's a terrible father he probably wouldn't turn his own son into an Inferius. But yeah, he might be connected somehow.

Author's Response: I present Draco in this story rather more nastily than I think it's likely he would have wound up (if nothing else, I doubt JK had him go through all he did only to become just as much of a berk as his father). But certainly he has his skeletons in closets and nastier secrets. It would take some supremely insane villainy to willingly have his son turned into an Inferius, and not really one I could see a Malfoy signing up for.

Oddly I never intended the Harry/Scorpius relationship when this story was in the planning stage, but of course the moment I started with Chapter 1 and their interactions it LEAPT out at me with all the obvious parallels. I figured Harry would feel much the same.

Selena really is the Heart of the group. Scorp and Al do have each other's backs decently. They're pretty integral to one another's sanity as well as development.

Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #21, by Roisin Hot Blooded

7th April 2015:
Something interesting happens here with Harley. Like, there's the comment about wanting to help Hermione's daughter, but more importantly, he stops Albus from torturing someone! AND a bad guy AND a human to boot! I think of all of them, Harley has the most rigid and consistent code of ethics. This code is also why Scorpius and Rose didn't get on with him in the beginning--his code sort of dictates that he do everything he can to maintain elf dignity and be sure they aren't taken advantage of.

And man, what an entrance for Locket! The drama and excitement of this scene is a great pay-off after such a long absence. And of course, SHE HAS A POTION TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM! I was recently reading about Deus Ex Machina, and how it's often criticized--but I like a well done one. All the little pieces were put into place and then it ends up coming together at the exact right moment. I find it very satisfying :)

Also, all the stuff about truth serum and conjecture was really interesting. Like, that things get fuzzy around suspicion and guesswork. And I think I've said this before, but I just love the Tamsin Grieg faceclaim for Locket. I've only seen her in a few things--and never in a role quite like this--but I can really SEE her. You definitely have a firm handle on this dynamic character, and the actress you chose is someone who I can really picturing delivering her dialogue. I love that Locket, in many ways, sort of presents herself as a this shrewd, wry, no-nonsense person but at the same time is very kind of fragile and just generally complicated.

It's very curious that Thane seemed upset by Tim's death. I mean, while he isn't himself at the top of whatever's going on, he's certainly a big part of it. Why make a curse that ultimately kills and turns the dead into inferi if you don't want people to die? WHAT IS THANE'S ANGLE?!?!?! I don't buy that he's just a wand-for-hire in all this. Or maybe he is, and he took the job specifically to infiltrate and be sure it wasn't successful? I DUNNO! And what does the stone have to do with it?!

And BAM BOSS WITCH ENDING. Gah, this story is so addictive!

Author's Response: Harley kind of leapt out at me in the writing of this chapter. Looking back, I figured he's older than the Five, and has probably had his moral standards hammered and challenged consistently over the course of his life battling for House Elf rights. While I doubt he's been in this situation before, the idea of giving everyone fair treatment even under harsh circumstances isn't new, while Albus and Scorpius are for the first time finding their stances challenged.

I sometimes feel bad for how I depict Lockett, not necessarily for Deus Ex Machina-ing, but her more heroic moments tend to come at the expense of Hermione's principles. Veritaserum is scary stuff and I could entirely see its usage being restricted. And yet, right here and now, it's the most humane and sensible option.

Lockett is one of the most damaged characters in the entire series, which I suppose I make up for a bit by having her also be one of the smartest and most competent characters, too. Like delivering the Dramatic End of Chapter line!

Ah, Thane. Mysterious Thane. I can't say much, I keep readers dangling on him for a LONG time.

So glad you're enjoying! Thanks for reviewing.

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Review #22, by Roisin Cold as Ice

21st March 2015:
Methy totally reminds me of me right now *facepalm.* The plural of 'octopus' is actually 'octopodes' (in biology), and 'octopuses' is accepted. 'Octopi' is just WRONG. I twitch and fidget anytime someone says 'octopi,' and try not to say anything because it's usually coming off the heels of them correcting someone for saying 'octopuses.' GUH. I digress...

Ooh! A 'they discussed the plan' but we didn't get to see those specifics! That means something surprising and awesome and twisty must be in store!

'We're just sixth years, mate. These aren't going to be the loves of our lives'--hahahahahahahha.

Oh also, I failed to mention last chapter how clever Rose saying "You know I'll always come back" was. Like, cuz, she'd already reappropriated it once before, and then did a call-back in a different context! Having things like that re-surface does good work showing how much has changed.

Lockett's commitment to her solitude is pretty ridiculous at this point. I love that Malfoy does 'daily buggin.' Like, it's ridiculous, but WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? Ridiculous has become the status quo, and they all just kind of accept these things with a shrug now. Where once it might have inspired righteous indignity, it's now something noticed, but discussed only wryly.

Hahahahahahahaha--Scorpius and Harley should be friends! Harley is hilarious!

And wow, Scorpius was just way more honest with Harley than he's been with pretty much anyone. I am friend-shipping them.

BLARGH ACTION SEQUENCE. I have no comments to make because it was really good and I just want to keep reading!

Author's Response: Methuselah Jones, power nerd. I can't judge, I went into all sorts of reading on Latin grammar to reach the conclusions onf Patronuses, Patronus, and Patroni.

Never discuss the plan on-screen and then show the plan kicking into action. ;) Unless the plan is a cool one which goes IMMEDIATELY wrong and the point is the team trying to wrestle matters BACK to the plan.

Sorry, Scorpius, you live in the Potter 'verse. Odds are good you've met your life-partner by the time you turn 14. Even they're just 'that person I knew by name and sight but barely spoke to.'

'I'll come back every time.' - Scorose's arc words. 'cos I'm a SAP, yo.

Lockett is being absolutely ridiculous by now. Scorpius doesn't have much of a choice! And I love Harley, he is absolutely my favourite minor character to write in this story. The two of them still have their arc to come about, so we'll see how it goes...

Cheers! :D

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Review #23, by Roisin On an Open Fire

21st March 2015:
What's amazing is that even though these circumastances are so extraordinary, and the people end up having to do extraordinary things because of it, they still feel like REAL people.

"Can't you just tell me I'm useless once more, Dad? One more time, it's Christmas"--I am broken. Like, he's so disappointed his father hasn't written at all, even though he knows he won't like what he writes. He wants to burn his father's present, but he needs to have it first. That's pretty convoluted emotional stuff, which is why it feels so real.

They are all SO up to something. I can't imagine Albus being OK with Christmas not happening.

I also like the way the boy-talk mirrors the girl-talk, yet both are super accurate. Scorpius is much more candid here than usual, but it's well justified by the previous events.

METHUSELAH WAS DISTRACTING HIM! I'd actually totally suspected that last chapter, and it's SO perfect. Like, he shows some charming self-possession here. He never needed TIPS. He's METHUSELAH!

Also, the fact that Harley helped with their plan says a lot. Things are definitely getting warmer between those two. It's also funny here how people are being nice to him, but also teasing him at the same time (Selena). And man, Oliver Wood WOULD go hours with a broken arm without telling anyone. Zealot.

It makes perfect sense that Harry would send a broom. Like, I get why Scorpius thinks it's extravagant, but Harry got A NIMBUS 2000 from MCGONNAGAL after BREAKING SCHOOL RULES. Then he got a FIREBOLT from Sirius. So like, yeah. He'd of course be pretty down with offering people brooms. (And I have to note that it's a NIMBUS STARFALL AND THE NEXT BOOK IS CALLED STARFALL AND WHAT)

MOLLY WEASLEY JUMPER (sorry about getting really shouty). This also makes so much sense--GAH, you toggle 'things readers would know' with 'what Scorpius would think' really well. Didn't Molly send Harry his first jumper after meeting him, like, ONCE. And she has FOUR grandkids at Hogwarts and is MOLLY-MY-BOGGART-IS-DEAD-FAMILY-WEASLEY so you just KNOW she was listening to his radio show live, and probably re-listening to the recorded versions over and over again and now I'm sobbing.

Man, this chapter is so emotionally dynamic. There are jokes and cuteness, but then also so much Scorpius angst. Really well done, again. Like, before, there were lighter chapter arcs and heavier chapter arcs--but this chapter sort of oscillates. It fits really well with Where They Are in the story.

And the whole interaction with Rose. It's really amazing how you write characters who /do not know what they feel or want./ And also, the nuances of their Wants and Feels are slightly different. That you can present this emotional chaos in such an effective way is a testament to your assured hand.

"like something that had happened on the news than something that had happened right in front of him. Twice." The use of 'Twice' here was wonderful/heartbreaking. You manage a lot with just that one word, and it has so much more impact for not being spelled out. He had to watch him die and then kill him--and that is some HARROWING business. Of course he's going to be angsty and out of sorts. Again, his candidness makes sense--it's out of character for him, but he WOULD be out of character right now. I wonder how you'll ever bring back the reluctant cuteness they had before, or if it CAN be brought back. At least right now, it makes sense that Scorpius would be too distressed for any nice romance.

And Draco is definitely projecting a WHOLE bunch. I wonder where Scorpius' sympathy for his mum comes from. He doesn't seem to want to blame her for running off and leaving him behind, or for failing to write. Very curious about that.

And then the chapter end betrays that same push-and-pull you have here between light and dark. The ending is sort of optimistically tepid, and largely exhausted. Lovely!

(Also, I REALLY wanted to nominate you for a Golden Paw for most addicting, but I totally blew it by trying to nominate the whole series--I didn't realize this story alone fit the time criteria! Blast! There's always the Dobbys, though!)

Author's Response: I like high adventure and epic antics and stuff specifically because I like seeing what it does to the characters. While I can appreciate a rocking action sequence, I'm 100% more invested in what those life-or-death circumstances do to the people behind them.

Scorpius, so desperate for attention from his family that even his father's abuse would be better than nothing.

Methuselah Jones, Master of Obfuscation. I think he probably did need a little bit of tips and he's totally going to use that advice, but he only asked out of desperation. The last resort.

Harley was probably asked very nicely by Rose and then more properly nicely by Selena, and isn't enough of a jerk that he wouldn't go along with it.

Oliver Wood's just crazy enough to do that. And yes, this is ABSOLUTELY the kind of gift Harry would send. It's established he's very generous with his wealth, and that he has Ginny's industry contacts to help him get a shiny broom... ah yes, the Starfall model. The next book? ALL about Scorpius' broom.

If my chapters are making people shouty, I'm just happy.

Molly would TOTALLY do that. She absolutely listened to Radio Malfoy (and there would be more than four, there's going to be probably 2-3 cousins, I can't remember the ages off the top of my head but DEFINITELY Roxanne and Molly BUT I digress, damn that family tree). And they all know he's Al's best friend even if they don't spend time together outside of school, so Molly would just be MOLLY about it and now I'm upsetting myself even.

I think the mixture of light and dark is going to be pretty much the rule from here on out. Or, at least, there will be fewer chapters without the dark. Being where I am in the writing I'm so curious as to how it'll pan out for you; tonal shifts over the series are HUGE and I always worry if I'm going/have gone too far, but... I digress.

I struggled to entirely grasp where Scorpius was until I wrote the bit about it being like there was a bruise on the parts of him that wanted to kiss her. Honestly, first draft of their conversation, they actually did have Round Two of Kiss, but I scrapped it because it just DIDN'T work. I've fumbled in the dark a lot on these guys at times, though I'm generally happy with the final decisions.

There's healing to be done, but they're hardy enough. In the long run, the things Scorp's been through can be recovered from.

Aw, nominations are lovely, but this story would definitely NOT fit the criteria. Last chapter was posted in late 2013. Books 2 and 3 should be eligible come Dobby season, though! Dobbys were awkward, I had both this and Starfall in the running which I think split the votes... ah well. It was just lovely to get nominated.


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Review #24, by Roisin New Flames

20th March 2015:
Ooh, Selena interacting with the eagle! I'm very stoked to see that play out!

I like the analysis of Selena's intelligence. That's how she'd been striking me--she's not stupid, she just doesn't really care about school. It's not an indication of her intelligence, just her priorities. I mean, in a way, one could argue that not being interested in study is kind of stupid, but that's getting into it.

Hah. There's a great humour to Scorpius getting stroppy with the eagle, because it just seems like an enchanted object that lacks self-awareness or emotion. But here, Selena almost kind of /gets a rise/ out of the eagle! Also, I like that she super guesses the riddle and is kind of into it :)

Ah! And now the eagle's actually talking to her one-and-one! And making that exact point about not being interested in the challenges of study or examination being itself dumb! YAY SELENA CHARACTER ARC *rubs hands together*

Hmm, so the idea of dark magic 'pooling' is coming back. I guess it was right to take them all off those potions. I also like the idea, for how it fits with like, humours and stuff.

Aw. Methuselah being upset over being outshined here is, again, very convincing. Like, 'you're good at everything, calm down,' is an easy point to make--but you write why he might still feel bad about it well. How being really good at magic stuff being his ONLY thing, and so it would feel crappy to not be the best.

Methuselah saying Selena is smarter than him is also really believable--like, he offers support for the statement. And the whole 'but you've been with so many guys' thing also kind of makes sense, because he's weird and analytical like that. Like, 'would be disappointing' and all makes sense coming from him.

You also do that kiss really well, which is impressive, given it isn't in a SURGE OF PASSION sort of way. Like, it's very staged, which also brings a lot of cuteness to it.


'When I pulled back, he said "thank you"'--BAH.

And the 'he's a very good student' thing. Like, it was so perfect for her to frame it all more like a lesson. She really GETS him.

Selena's point is really good--it's a bit more defensible to dump Hector because he was a prat than just because she wanted to mash faces with someone else. And this whole girl talk sequence is just excellent. So much easy wit, and very realistic!

Ooh, Selena really is a person who needs to be listened to more. They might even figure out Phlegathon if they could figure out how it fits in with what's going on internationally.

'Aleister Crowley's cat resplendent in a Father Christmas hat'--Bah.

While Scorpius and Harley are certainly being snitty with one another, they're definitely on better terms now. I suppose Harley saw everything Scorpius did for Tim and had to concede he might be an ok guy.

And the idea that a blizzard would help paint dry is ABSURD. Snow is WET.

AW METHY ASKING ABOUT GIRLS CUTE. 'Twice. And then sixteen further occasions since then, last Friday.' BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Wonderful. Just wonderful.

Author's Response: Selena's intellect has been a sticky wicket. I mean, she's NOT as intellectual or even magically capable as even Scorpius (who has a good dose of raw talent but struggles to apply himself), and that's always been intentional. There are other virtues, other strengths. But she's still no idiot, manages to keep up with people like Methuselah and other smart cookies when they're talking research, and has pretty sharp wits. So... yeah.

Though she's not much appreciating the door-knocker being a pest. Even if it is making points! Even if she did kind of enjoy the challenge when she set her mind to it!

Apparently all my characters have cripplingly low self-esteem. Methuselah's rocking smart and still knows he's a bit inept in everything else, so, all the sadness for that poor kid. I'm glad the kiss came off as cute, cute is what I was going for. Those two are so damn cute to write.

GIRL TALK. Yes. It was SO needed. Those two do each other a lot of good. It's harder to see the good Selena's done, but Rose brings her away from her distant, superior observation of people, and much more engaging with them.

Aleister Crowley was so probably NOT an actual wizard, or if he was he was onto the BEST tricking of Muggles EVER, but I needed an off-hand portrait reference. Though his cat is probably a really DARK REFERENCE to make. I only just thought of that. Ugh.

Harley has indeed seen more of what's beneath on Scorpius - the rant about his father, his grief over Tim. He's only going to cut him SO much slack, though. And apparently he's being a terrible, TERRIBLE liar.

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Review #25, by Roisin Out of the Kitchen

20th March 2015:

Man, this was such a lighter chapter after so much heavy. I did much snort-laughing at Scorpius' various commentary. It's so nice to have him back in a quippy mood!

I'm also glad you addressed where Lockett's getting her whiskey from. Like, I had been kind of curious just before where it was all coming from, but it was a very convincing explanation.

I'm super bummed Scorpius and Lockett didn't have a drink together, though. I felt certain, especially since he'd missed his birthday, that that would come up. But, the way he ended it with her was pretty strong. And MAN, if it takes them TWO WEEKS to start having success with patrous(es!) then Lockett's REALLY slacking for a LONG time. Which starts to maybe make me think there isn't something nefarious going on? (I really only suspect Lockett because I feel like I need to suspect /someone/ of /something/ because: fiction).

All in all, the way you lightened things up with TRAINING MONTAGE really worked. It was totally believable (because it feels more like school and more normal), and your changes of tone and pace have just always been well timed.

The stuff about Methuselah has me very very intrigued! Like, at first I thought he'd struggle with patronus(es) because he just isn't very emotional, so sublime joy would be hard to manage, but you've really hinted at maybe a lot more dimension to his character. He actually shows frustration and even anger here, and I'm very curious where it will all go. We're dealing with memories here, so I'm excited to maybe find out more backstory on him!

Man, stopping to leave this review is SO HARD when I want to keep reading!

Author's Response: *plays the Team America montage song*

I think this was the first chapter I wrote after a several-months hiatus - I probably finished off the previous one, but this was the one I came to fresh, and so I needed the whimsy and silliness to get the flow of everyone again.

I don't know what possesses me sometimes to explain the little things like the whiskey, but the explanation seemed to make sense. It would have been good for those two to have a drink together! But alas no.

Methuselah has complexity beyond being the nerd, poor kid.


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