Reading Reviews for Lightning Bolt Scar
  
19 Reviews Found

Review #1, by BKL8008 Famous

25th November 2012:
Wow, finally a great look into what could have been - and wasn't. I liked the irony of Draco being refused yet again, and felt genuinely sorry for Neville. I always wondered, thought there should have been more in canon, of Harry getting on the train and how he wound up alone at first. This fills that gap, and the alternate roles of the characters was great, too. And Scabbers got eaten? Hmmm.nice!

Author's Response: Writing this scenario made me feel glad for the first time that everything happened to Harry Potter and not someone else. Even if it meant Lily and James dying, and his whole wretched life - because if everything had gone the other way and it had happened to Neville, we would have seen a very different outcome. I'm not sure he would have been able to handle it as well.

I couldn't resist making Scabbers get his due before anyone even found out his real identity. XD

Thank you for reading and reviewing!


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Review #2, by roseredgal Famous

6th November 2012:
Oh wow! I love this! Can I feature it on my harry potter page on facebook?
(When Fred & George change Percy's Head Boy badge to "Bighead Boy")
Full credit to you of course!

Author's Response: Sure! As long as you credit my penname (Toujours Padfoot) and leave a link to my story, I'm fine with that.

Thank you for reading and reviewing! I'm glad you liked it.


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Review #3, by ginny_malfoy1231 Famous

15th August 2012:
Oh that was just soo cute! Harry seemed rather spoiled in the book, like a Draco Malfoy :) But the part about Neville was really nice! This was a really good story!
10/10

Author's Response: Aww, thank you! Harry was kind of a little prat, wasn't he? XD A lot more like Draco than he ever would have realized, I think. I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for reading and reviewing!

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Review #4, by SereneChaos Famous

26th July 2012:
Ah! Another fantastic story. I think it's interesting that you chose not reverse Harry and Neville, but to assign the fate of Mr. and Mrs. Longbottom to Susan Bones' parents instead. I do feel badly for Neville, and the fact that Harry has two perfectly whole, wonderful parents is a a little depressing, but at the same time, I liked that it didn't follow the usual 'what if Neville was the Chosen One' reversal pattern. I also laughed out loud when they talked about Neville having his father's nose. :P

Great work!

Author's Response: Hi there! I kind of randomly assigned things here, not making everything polar opposites but throwing in some twists - like with Remus in Azkaban. I feel awful for poor Neville. He's not cut out for a life like this, especially in his younger days when his spine was on the weaker side. And admittedly I do not like Harry like this. I wanted to see what Harry might've been like if he'd been raised by his parents, pampered and loved and included in the magical community from day one.

Neville's father's nose, bahaha. Everyone makes such a big deal out of YOU HAVE YOUR MOTHER'S EYES, HARRY, so I thought it would be fun to tweak that. XD


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Review #5, by house elf Famous

8th July 2012:
Ooh this was very interesting to read. Bizarre, but interesting. Poor Neville. I think I like Harry better when he's spent his childhood in the cupboard under the stairs, unfortunately. Still, at least he has a loving family...

Oh, and I like how Neville becomes friends with Ron rather than Draco ^^

A very enjoyable read! :)

Author's Response: Oh my, tell me about it. It was bizarre to write, too - like pulling Harry Potter's universe inside-out. Everything is distorted and weird. And I agree - I much prefer Harry as the boy from under the stairs, as awful as that might sound. He just turned out a lot better that way than if he'd been spoiled. Plus, I don't think Ron would have liked him nearly as much if Harry had been that way because he wouldn't have had anything in common with him, really.

Thank you for reading and reviewing!


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Review #6, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap Famous

24th June 2012:
This was so freaky! Haha. I don't know why it was so weird for me to read but I suppose it's because I've never read anything where Neville was the 'chosen one,' you know what I mean? I know people have attempted it but I never read them.

I just know he ate him.

^ I loved your characterization of Ron. You were able to squeeze in little things about him even though he wasn't a key factor really in the one-shot. Why is everything always eating his rat? Haha. He never has any luck.

As he heard it, everything was the fault of the mass-murderer Remus Lupin

^ Interesting! I would have liked to see your interpretation of that too and the relationship of Remus and his parents. There was also no mention of Peter, right? Besides 'the rat.'

his father had stood in front of him while he sat in his crib, desperately attempting to protect him from Voldemort

^ I like that you switched it and made it his father the one to sacrifice himself because I have seen people argue, "Well, a man couldn't do it because women were made to protect their children and don't know how to do anything but love."

So, I suppose men don't know how to love? *sigh* Makes no sense to me.

I really enjoyed this. Harry would have been spoiled, wouldn't he? His life would have been so different and so would have Neville's. It would be interesting to see how he would have reacted trying to fight against the Dark Lord.

Author's Response: I definitely know what you mean! While I was writing this it just felt so /wrong/. It was fun to write but in a really bizarre way, I was glad to see the back of it because it just felt so backwards.

Peter is an owl's breakfast. Karma: checkmate.

I honestly have no idea how the whole Remus thing works out, and it would really suck to be him in this universe because he can't transform into a dog and slip between the bars to swim to shore like Sirius could. Which makes me wonder: If Peter hadn't been made secret keeper, what would he have done? How else would he have betrayed the Potters? I wonder how much the Potters knew about the prophecy...

I'm pleased you liked how I made it Frank protecting Neville instead of Alice; Lily has been turned into a saint in fanfiction (and in canon, really) because she died for her son, but it's like...wouldn't just about every parent do that for their child? If Lily had held off Voldemort while James took Harry and ran, you can bet he would have died trying to protect Harry, as well. And now I'm sitting here thinking about why Harry and the Order didn't just shoot Avada Kedavra at Voldemort every chance they got, because then Voldy would have to use his horcruxes' souls and they would therefore be destroying his horcruxes by destroying him if they did it over and over... I am great at rambling, aren't I?

Anyway, thanks for reading and reviewing, Deeds! It always makes my day whenever you drop over here and surprise me with a review. :)


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Review #7, by Lady Mouldywart Famous

24th June 2012:
An inverted Harry Potter world! Well, this is juicy :)

Author's Response: Heee, thank you! Glad you liked it. :)

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Review #8, by WitnesstoitAll Famous

21st June 2012:
I'm just going to leave you a quick review because I'm mostly at a loss for what to say. This is absolutely brilliant.

I especially love that everything is more or less the same -- the secret keeper ended up in azkaban, someone's parents were tortured into insanity, Ron becomes the boy who lived's best friend. It was all very lovely. I'm sort of amazed and in awe at the way you weaved new characters into these familiar situations.

I'm also equally in awe of your characterization of Harry. He totally would be a spoiled child -- his humility in the books really came from his lifestyle. It was lovely to see the Potter family and that Sirius settled down and married and had a daughter. (H) It was very interesting to see the difference that having grown up aware of magic had on this day for the boy who lived.

Annd since I forgot to mention it earlier, Draco. lolol. Some things really never do change. Oh, and especially loved that bit about how much Neville looked like his mum, except he had his father's nose. Brilliant.

Loved this!

Author's Response: It was a little bizarre to think of how things might've changed, however minutely, if Neville and Harry had switched places. I considered having James and Lily be the ones who'd been tortured into insanity, but it wouldn't have made a huge difference in Harry's life...except that he probably would have been raised by Sirius...hmm. DOWN WITH THE PLUNNIES. DOWN WITH THEM. At any rate, I enjoyed writing about Harry as a pampered little prince with the life he could have had if Voldemort had gone the other way.

I don't like Draco when he's older, but when he's young like this I find his snobbishness rather adorable. He's so transparent. ^ ^



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Review #9, by tangledconstellations Famous

21st June 2012:
Awh, this was probably the cutest thing in the universe! So, so lovely!

I've always wondered what the wizarding world would have been like if Voldemort had chosen Neville and not Harry. I loved all the parallels you drew between Harry's experience and Neville's - even though they are so different, I do think that 'freak show' feeling would still exist. Poor Nev :( The bit with Ron at the end was so lovely - really really cute! Ron is always loyal and genuine, even if a bit gawky. You really captured all of the characters so brilliantly. I even think Harry would be a spoilt prince if things were different.

Thank you for writing this - it was seriously uber cute!

Laura xxx

Author's Response: Thank you!!

Neville has a slight advantage in that he knows what to expect, because he's faced this sort of gawking all his life, but his personality is just so not fitting for it. He can't handle the fame. And Ron is just so lovely. I want to hug him. I think Harry would've been a lot like James had been at that age - carefree, cocky, and with a thirst for attention. So glad you liked it! Thank you for reading and reviewing. :)


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Review #10, by Remus Famous

21st June 2012:
Saw this from your status update so I had to read it.

This was very, VERY well done. I absolutely love how you changed everyone's past in a way that it sort of fits. Poor Remus, being the traitor. But was he REALLY the traitor is was is still Peter? :D Sirius being alive was a very nice touch.

James and Lily made me laugh. Their characterization, along with everyone in this story seem to be just right on the spot, except for Harry but that's the point. He grew up with a family rather than with the Dursleys.

This was definitely a nice read! :D

Author's Response: Hi there! Thank you for dropping by to read and review! I'm so glad you enjoyed it. :)

Yep, the real traitor was still Peter. Unfortunately, Peter just got eaten by an owl, so there won't be any retribution. I feel quite bad for poor Remus.

Harry in this is a lot like the glimpse we saw of James when he was a first year, and how carefree and slightly cocky he was.



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Review #11, by alicia and anne Famous

21st June 2012:
This is just so weird to read because it's hard to imagine that things could have turned out this way. I love how everything has changed to different people doing different things, like Remus being the one to be traitor. And how Sirius is alive, and the fact that Lily and James have had more children.
It was strange to read about Harry being popular and how a normal boy should have been, and how Ron is friends with Neville instead of Harry. I wonder where Hermione would fit in all of this? I think she would go to Neville and Ron.
Overall I loved this! it was so amazing! How did you come up with this idea?

Author's Response: It felt bizarre while I was writing it, and admittedly I was feeling pretty glad that things didn't happen that way. It just wouldn't have been the same. I don't think Neville would have been daring enough to go on all of the adventures that Harry'd gone on. And it's weird to picture how it would've been circa Deathly Hallows, with Harry Potter still in school while Neville was on the run. Hermione would probably have gravitated to Ron and Neville. I'm not sure if she would have liked Harry much in this universe.

It's a scenario that's been done many times before, but I was inspired to write it today and I enjoyed giving it my own little take.

:D Thank you for reading!


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Review #12, by Athene Goodstrength Famous

21st June 2012:
Well, I just loved this. I haven't read many AU, but this one really grabbed me.

Your language and tone are just perfect, somewhat reminiscent of Rowling's writing. I really enjoy that in a fic at times, it makes it lovely to read. As you credited the USA edition of the book, I'm guessing you're American? Well, your language was very British, all the English idioms are employed perfectly. I likey!

I loved all the juicy little bits of info - Snape in jail, Lupin accused rather than Sirius, Harry's sibling's names, and I laughed out loud at Neville having 'his father's nose'.

Your characterization is great... I very much enjoyed the fact that some people never change - Draco Malfoy is still a bit nasty (although I do see a little vulnerability in his embarrassment at being interrupted that I find endearing - it's a reminder that although he's a snob, he's just an 11 year old boy at the moment!) and Ron would still be a slightly nervous kid who is kind enough to be willing to make friends with the strange, famous boy. I love Ron and Neville bonding over the loss of their pets!
I don't like Harry much here though, I suppose that's the point! I do hope that he turns out to be alright, really, as I think James and Lily would have brought him up well. But it's your story, and you've started it so brilliantly!

I found this so sad: "I don’t like a bunch of children in my house. They're too loud. Be a good boy and go play with your chess set." I thought to myself, that's exactly what it would have been like for Neville if his parents had died. Then I remembered that he was brought up by his gran anyway, and that's probably what his childhood *was* like, and it made me feel so sad!

I really enjoyed this, can't wait for the next chapter!

Also... please tell me Pettigrew's been eaten. That would be perfect! Haha.

10/10
Athene Xo

Author's Response: Oh wow, what a fantastic review!

Oooh, that's good to hear about the Britishisms! I try pretty hard with those.

Baww. Draco's so snobby but all the same, he's still just an eleven year old boy and I think that all of his nastiness was just really brought out by Harry (much like Snape's nastiness was brought out by James). I think Draco was just really jealous of Harry, so in this alternate universe, he wanted to attach himself to someone famous but then realized that if he wasn't going to be the dominant one, he didn't want anything to do with him. There's a reason why Crabbe and Goyle were his friends - they didn't speak up for themselves. They couldn't hog the spotlight.

I think that while Harry's kind of spoiled, it would sort of be expected because that's how his father was at that age. Plus, he's an eleven year old boy. He's still got plenty of maturing to do. We don't be seeing any of that, though, because this is only a one-shot. ^ ^

Neville's childhood probably wasn't very fun. :(

Yes, Pettigrew was eaten! He was an owl's breakfast and he shall be no more. Bahaha.

Thank you for reading and reviewing!


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Review #13, by TenthWeasley Famous

21st June 2012:
Oh, where to begin? I loved this -- and you worked in all those details so neatly! I loved seeing a different Harry, one who's almost obnoxious, although it made me a bit homesick for the bewildered eleven-year-old of canon days. :D And that line about button-fastening was great! I just want to pick up this story and cuddle it to me, because it was darn adorable. Little, arrogant Draco! Susan Bones in Neville's place! Scabbers being digested as we speak!

Everything about it just felt so canon -- like you've often said, it has that magical feel to it. I can easily see the tables being turned, and this having happened (Remus in Azkaban! Does Sirius end up teaching third year DADA, then? :3). And that is sort of a brainbender, because if that had really been how the books had gone, and Neville had been chosen, then you could have been writing a one-shot about little Harry and his nasty relatives...

I'm thinking about this too much, I think. Gah, this was so adorable! I am drowning in warm feelings. And I cannot even believe how fast you wrote this; I am in perpetual awe. ♥ Fantastic stuff!

Author's Response: I've been wondering a lot lately about this sort of scenario because I'm reading The Half-Blood Prince and it wasn't too long ago that Harry was sitting in his compartment with Neville and Luna and Harry was just sitting there thinking about what it would be like if their roles had been reversed, and Voldemort had marked Neville instead; and he was daydreaming about being kissed goodbye by his own mother instead of Mrs. Weasley, and it was so heartbreaking. So when you mentioned that in your review response, I was like OKAY, I NEED TO GET THIS OUT OF MY SYSTEM. And while I was writing, I felt mildly creeped out, like, this is /wrong/, and did not at all like the way Harry might have turned out if he'd had a normal life. That's awful to say, but it's true.

Scabbers is Hermes's lunch! :3 And no one is any the wiser. Omg Sirius teaching DADA...oooh...okay, going to stop thinking about that now...

Eeep you are loffly and I am eternally pleased that this felt canonish/magical to you, YAYAYAY, and thank you oodles for reading and reviewing. You don't have to do it but you always do, anyway.



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Review #14, by redherring Famous

21st June 2012:
I really love what you've done with this idea. For one thing, I just thought Neville was perfect in this. He was just so adorably Neville-ish in this story, even more awkward with being famous than Harry is in canon. I felt so sorry for him and at the end there was just that pure moment of squee as he started talking to Ron.

I really liked what you did with Harry, as well - being immediately popular and just generally a bit cocky. He was very like James - like a son James would have raised, I suppose. I also liked the idea of James and Sirius being famous aurors who put Snape in Azkaban, and even though it broke my heart just a little to have Remus as the supposed traitor, I thought that was a nice touch as well.

I really love it in AU stories when everything is thought out properly like that, and you've clearly thought about how lots of different people and their lives would have been affected if Neville was the Chosen One rather than Harry. A lovely piece of writing, I really enjoyed it :)

Author's Response: Harry had the sort of personality where he could be bewildered but also take it in his stride, whereas Neville is just so utterly hopeless in social situations that his anxiety would just be heightened by carrying around a scar of that sort. I felt so bad for him and wanted to give him a hug.

Harry's characterization is a lot like the glimpse of James we saw in The Prince's Tale, in their first year on the train - how he had the air of being well-taken care of, and maybe even spoiled.

Thank you so much for your lovely review!


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Review #15, by RosieQueen Famous

21st June 2012:
Ooh, this is interesting! At first I thought it was going to be a novel, then I noticed that it was a one-shot. You could've made this a novel, though. But it's still great!

I especially thought Harry's characterization was interesting. He seems a bit more stuck-up than the Harry we know, probably because he grew up rich and his father raised him to be a trouble-maker.

Neville was just so Neville-ish even in this scenario. He doesn't fit well with fame. But his characterization was perfect. :)

Even though this scenario has been written over a thousand times, you really made yours unique. I love your writing style so much!

Very good one-shot. I really enjoyed it! :D

~Rosie

Author's Response: Ha, if I made this into a novel it would be hard to stop. I'd find myself going through all seven books, figuring out how things would've been if Neville and Harry exchanged places.

The Harry in this alternate universe is a bit less likable - and comparable to Draco, which would probably horrify canon Harry. XD

Thank you for reading and reviewing!


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Review #16, by forsakenphoenix Famous

21st June 2012:
Oh my goodness, Sarah. Despite the fact that I'm sure this plot has been done a million times over, you somehow still manage to make it yours. I love every detail about this, how things would have been different if it was Neville instead of Harry. I love that Sirius is there, with his wife, and he came to see Harry off even though his own child was too young to attend.

It breaks my heart that Remus is the one that betrayed the Longbottoms, though. I never saw that coming. But those details that you include - like Lestrange and Snape being put into Azkaban by James and Sirius - it makes this seem so real, like it could've happened this way and no one would've known any different.

Neville's embarrassment and desperate need to just be normal makes me want to give him a big ol' hug. Poor kid must've had a rough upbringing if his gran didn't want other kids around. That's no life for a child, especially one who's so different as it is. I love how Harry turned out - rich, spoiled, and popular, and that he gawked at Neville every time his family visited.

Everything is just so incredibly well-written. You have such a fabulous talent. I hope you continue writing forever. :)

Author's Response: Baww Missy. Thank you for this lovely review!

In my little head canon in this small AU universe, it was still Peter's fault, except this time Remus took the fall for it. Since Remus isn't an Animagus, it would be harder for him to escape Azkaban...which is a depressing thought. It's definitely better that Sirius went instead of Remus; their dispositions are different and I don't think Remus would have lasted too long in prison.

Harry's characterization was inspired by Dumbledore mentioning once that his being raised by the Dursleys made it so that he didn't turn into a pampered little prince. All things considered, I like him better because of all the bad things that happened to him (that seems so horrible to say D:)

Thank you, again, for reading!


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Review #17, by Cassius Alcinder Famous

21st June 2012:
This was a really enjoyable read, and it was very illuminating as to how the ripples of on event can effect so many others.

It was very intresting to see just how many of the characters' livs would be different. I couldn't help but chuckle at Peter's fate, and I guess Snape would've just been a regular death eater if he didn't have the guilt over Lily. It was nice to see how things may have been for Harry had his family survived, although I worry a bit about his attitude here. Great job!

Author's Response: Hello! Thank you for stopping by my story. I'm pleased that you liked it. :)

It was tricky to figure out what would become of Severus Snape. Since Voldemort hadn't harmed the Potters, Lily and James would have gone on with life as usual and Severus would most likely still have been a Death Eater until the fall of Voldemort when they were all imprisoned. It was a strange thought. I'm pretty glad in retrospect that Neville's and Harry's lives weren't reversed, because I don't think Harry would have been entirely likable.

Haa, Peter got eaten by an owl and no one even realizes it was him. Except for Remus. D:

Thanks for reading!


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Review #18, by Angelique Aspis Famous

21st June 2012:
Great story! I thought for sure Neville would be friends with Draco, but then there was another twist!

Author's Response: Thank you! I considered making him befriend Draco, but figured their dispositions were way too different.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #19, by ariellem Famous

21st June 2012:
“Sure, it’s him. They say he looks just like his mother –”

“Except for his nose.”

“He’s got his father’s nose.”

This is great! I can't wait too see what happens next! :)

Author's Response: Thank you! Everyone goes on and on about Harry having his father's face and his mother's eyes, so it was fun to reverse that here in Neville. There won't be anything happening next, though, because this is a one-shot. ^ ^

Thank you for reading and reviewing!


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