Hi, Callie! Here with your requested review -- and I'm really sorry about how long you've had to wait for this. Time did seem to get away from me!
I really liked this story, and even though I'd read a few paragraphs of it before through PMs from you, I absolutely love how you've expanded on it. You really made me feel for Draco throughout this (admittedly, not an easy thing to do) and I agree with Hermione: What he did to save his family was heroic. I'm not entirely convinced that he was remorseful for what he had done earlier, in the war days, but he was quite human here.
I really liked your use of the serpentine stone, too, and was pleasantly surprised to see where the title came from. :) I think it's sweet that Draco did thank Hermione in the end (and I'll admit, I totally didn't see his death coming) and that she was able to sort of pass something on to him before he died. That was my favorite thing about this, I think, that stone. Really well done there!
Oh, and this line too:
She knew that Harry would understand, he had been proven wrong by a Slytherin before. -- LOVE THAT! And now I have a bunch of Snape and Harry feelings I don't know what to do with, but that was a very carefully placed tie to the past. Best line in the whole story.
As for length, the main concern you outlined in your request -- I personally had no problem with the length, and unless you really want to, I don't see any reason why you should have to cut it down or split it up. Some people are put off by longer chapters, but there are just people like that, and here it didn't seem to get in the way of the story or anything. You're good!
An excellent read, as always, and again, I must apologize for the hefty wait you had to endure for this review. :3 I really do like the platonic Dramione! Thank you for requesting! Report Review
Hello there! This is DarkRose from the forums here to review for you! :D So, let's go over things:
Continuity: One minor issue with the plot--you mention twice that Draco's Dark Mark is on his "right arm," but it should be on his left, as that's where all the Death Eaters were branded.
Characterization: Okay! Well, I really liked Hermione in this. I think you stayed very true to her character and showed a really great side to her. I loved that she stayed professional, even in the face of such a difficult situation as treating her former-enemy as her patient. But I think you wrote her beautifully.
Descriptions: I really think you did wonderfully with this. You explained what was happening and showed it through your descriptions of how hectic things were, and then how calm they were after Draco's death. It really helped me imagine the scene. Great job.
Emotions: I DEFINITELY think you did well in this category! It was so interesting to read a NON-Dramione Draco/Hermione story. I'm a complete Dramione-shipper, so I've never read something quite like this. You captured all of Hermione's emotions perfectly though. I liked that there was that element of compassion that Hermione has, despite the fact that Draco is, well, Draco. Her feelings towards losing a patient were great.
Plot: I thought this was a very sweet story. You were worried that it was too long. Well...it IS lengthy, but I didn't think it was too long for everything that happened. It's better to give everything the proper amount of explanation than to skim over details. I like how you wrote this. The plot itself was very exciting. I was quite sad when Draco died. He had such an opportunity to improve his life...but things just didn't work out. I actually like that aspect of the story. That you can do things right and still lose. I think that's quite a powerful message.
Interactions: Loved the one time that Draco actually spoke to Hermione. I think it was very well-written. He only thanks her, that's all, but it's such a powerful expression of gratitude. I liked it a lot.
Honestly, I think you did very well with this story. It's quite good and you wrote it in a very thorough way. Great job. Don't worry about the length. It didn't bother me. :] Well done!
--Emily Report Review
Hello there! It has been a few weeks since I've read fanfiction, and to start reading again with a story like this was quite refreshing.
What really drew me to start reading this story at all was the quote you've put in the summary. I could see that Draco is one of the main characters in the info, and I started to wonder about who's said this. I got curious whether Draco was saying this in a threatening manner to someone else, or if someone else was saying that while referring to Draco... And that made me go ahead and read the story.
As for the story itself, I loved how medically-based it is. I think that you've described the injuries in a good way and the context of the healers' words seemed to be quite realistic and that amused me -I have a thing for medical things! :)
As for characterisation, I suppose I can't talk about anyone but Hermione. Personally, I think she was quite close to canon. I especially liked the part where she was curious about what sort of a man Draco had become. If we know anything about Hermione, then it would surely be how her curiosity can get the best of her -like how she was wondering about what happens to Lupin every month in PoA... Or that's what this bit reminded me of anyway.
Also, I love how you've portrayed her sense of duty and how in a field such as healing personal sacrifices must be made on multiple occasions and how couples must find a way to reach a compromise. I wish we could have known Ron's response to Hermione's message, but I suppose it would have disrupted the story's flow, but still... This is just me being curious about details. :D
And I was really sad to see Draco die -he did die, right?- at the end, but I suppose that it adds to how realistic the story is and that medical miracles don't happen as often as healers would like them to.
I haven't managed to spot any grave technical mistakes -only a couple of missing apostrophes and commas, but that's all of it, I think.
Anyway, I really loved the concept of Hermione and Draco getting to meet after Hogwarts and the war without falling head over heels for each other and without being rude and argumentative. It was really nice.
Great job and keep on writing! :D
-Manno Report Review
aw, damn. :(. well written though. Report Review
i wish you can continue with this story..maybe draco back from the dead,,with some magic of course.i was crying Report Review
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