This is a very original and wonderful story. I really enjoyed it, and then that twist at the end- cor! I didn't expect them to be Death Eaters! (or the equivalent)
Anyway, this is brilliant, I totally didn't expect something like this, and it's very different. I especially like the flipped morality of it- with the death eaters as the Wise. It was very interesting, I loved it.Author's Response: Hey! Thanks so much for reviewing! I'm so glad that you liked it- I had a lot of fun writing it. And the sentence you gave me helped to create the idea for it!
Haha, yeah. It was definitely a different experience, writing from the "enemies" point of view, but it certainly was interesting. And it really gives you a different point of view of the whole series, doesn't it?
Thanks once again for reviewing! Report Review
This was a very intriguing piece, dear, and it's very original as well! The whole time I kept thinking "Are they referring to the Death Eaters as the wise?" and my eyebrows were furrowed and I looked kind of like this: o.O
By the end, though, I knew that the grandfather was indeed calling the Death Eaters the naive, and it just blew my mind; its like this one shot gives me a view of the ENTIRE HP series from the other perspective.
I'm really, really glad I read this! The flow, characterization and everything are just superb, and I didn't notice any spelling or grammar errors either! I loved how the whole thing was made out like a grandfather telling his grandson a story; it gave it a nice touch!
One thing I'm very curious about is who the grandfather/grandson are. Anybody we know, or is this so long after the battle that we wouldn't know any of these characters?
Anyway, as I've said, a really lovely piece dear! Well done; 10/10!Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I know- it's slightly unusual to write from the Death Eaters point of view, but if you are, you can't be calling them stupid because they wouldn't think of themselves as such.
That certainly is an interesting way of putting it- the opposing view of the entire HP series. I suppose that I was thinking about it like that as I was writing it, though I wasn't thinking "this has to be the opposing viewpoint!". It just came naturally... And isn't it lovely when that happens! :)
Thank you so much for the compliments! I'm so glad that you enjoyed the writing!
The grandfather and his grandson aren't anybody you would know, because I eventually decided to set this a few generations apart from one HP was set in. Report Review
Hey there! I'm here with your requested review :)
I think this is a very original piece. I like how it almost takes an observer's view, in that it's told from the perspective of someone who can see wide expanses of time and space and not merely the events of one battle or even one war. I also like how you've turned the tables on the series and told this story from the side of Voldemort and the purebloods who were loyal to him.
I don't think the wording here is confusing, but the overall structure of the story did throw me a little bit. I had to re-read it several times before I felt like I really understood what was going on, given how vaguely you've written the events and characters. The vagueness is neat, especially with the forboding ending, but it was definitely a little tough to wrap my head around with just one read.
I think the flow here is okay - I felt sort of hooked in to the story as the grandfather told it, and I was as excited as the boy to see it come to an end. I also didn't spot any major technical errors here. Additionally, I really liked the imagery here, especially the lines at the very beginning. Overall, I think this is a nice piece, albeit a little abstract.
Nice job! I hope this review is helpful :)
-AmandaAuthor's Response: Thanks for getting around to this review so quickly! I'm glad that you liked this piece- I definitely agree with you that it is "original" because I've never written anything exactly like it. However, I really enjoyed writing it because it is essentially a fairy-tale- one of my favourite genres to read.
I'm glad that you don't think that the wording is confusing. I see what you mean about the story's vagueness and I'm glad that you don't find it off-putting. When I was writing it I didn't put in too many specific details because I didn't want to cement it too solidly in reality, if that makes sense.
As well, I'm glad that you liked the imagery. Unfortunately, I can't lay claim to the first sentence, as you would have read in the Author's note, which I would say is the highlight of the story.
Thank you once again for this review- I definitely found it helpful as it put to rest some of my concerns about the story! Report Review
The first line and just the general wording and style of writing immediately caught my attention. That doesn't often happen when I read a story, so I applaud you. I like how the language is elaborate and descriptive, but at the same time I'll admit it becomes confusing at times. It doesn't sound like what would actually come out of someone's mouth, especially when telling a story to a young boy, and at times appears a bit cliched. It's well written, but you should also be very careful when using such complicated language that it's understandable and flows well. Otherwise the reader could get lost and frustrated.
One thing I'm very confused about--what is the story itself supposed to be about? Is it connecting to the war and Voldemort? That's my best guess, but at the same time I'm honestly not sure. I got lost a few times while reading.
I really like the idea behind this, but I think the language could be toned down. You can get the dramatic, "legend" feel across still even if the language isn't as extreme. Like I said earlier, it's very well written. But sometimes that can become confusing.
I enjoyed reading this. Keep writing!
Bri, xxAuthor's Response: Thank you for your review! I'm glad that you enjoyed reading this story because I enjoyed writing it. Thanks for pointing out that the language is a little wordy- I love fairy-tale-type stories and so I suppose I was quick to use its sweeping style.
You're correct about it being about the first Wizarding war and Voldemort. What I had intended to get across was that the "others" were the muggles, the "hidden" the wizards, the "wise" the purebloods who supported Voldemort (the "Dark" side) and the "naive" the pro-muggle side (the "Light" side). I'll have to go back and make that clearer, then.
Once again, thanks for your comments (they definitely brought some of the problems with the story to light) and I'm glad that you enjoyed reading it. Report Review
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